StarStruck

How come that girls can be ruthless against nice guys?

256 posts in this topic

30 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That sword cuts both ways.

The problem is not the girls, it's your attachment to needing their love.

Yes, if you get rid of the attachment (not in true/false sense, but whatever extent to it you manage) you will game naturally, I have noticed this by experience. Even tho I don't game it is so much easier to go an talk to people and I feel comfortable with myself around them.

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I haven't read pretty much any replies on this thread so it may already have been said in one way or another but here's how I see it:

99% of self-proclaimed "nice guys" are actually just deeply entitled and needy guys who don't realize it, yet pretty much everyone else (ESPECIALLY GIRLS) can smell it in a mile away. I've met self-proclaimed assholes and even sociopaths that are actually WAY nicer than the majority of self-proclaimed nice guys. 

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but you either swallow it and grow, or just keep being in denial and projecting all your shadows onto women and wallow in your bitterness and despair because women aren't dropping their panties for some needy, victim mindset pleb who gives her a compliment while expecting pussy in return.

The reality is, girls actually love REAL nice guys, the ones who's niceness comes from within and without a condition, expectation or a price, as opposed to the self-proclaimed "nice guys" who use it as a tactic to get what they want / think they want, and then get bitter and start judging the girl / women as a whole when it doesn't work, which is... really not nice.

Edited by CultivateLove

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't forget that it runs in girls too. Perhaps even more so than in you.

Oh I have no doubt about that. Seen some very insecure girls in my life

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7 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

@StarStruck One thing here I find odd about you, why are you refering to women as enemies or opponents? That's not a healthy mindset dude, gotta change that

Men and women are not on the same team in casual dating. Both parties are out for their own (survival) interests. That is my experience.


In Tate we trust

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Ofc its hard for guys to imagine why girls would treat nice guys bad, the average guy literally has close to 0 options when it comes to meeting woman and often have to settle with someone "beneath them"

Imagine being hit on 24/7 the abundance mentality you would have would be unbelievable, why would you need to treat someone you dont like with respect when you can just move on to the next guy? 

If women had the same amount as options as the guys on this forum there would be no threads like this that exist because everyone would get along. Abundance mentality is what what creates entitlement, (which isn't a bad thing btw) 

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19 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Men and women are not on the same team in casual dating. Both parties are out for their own (survival) interests. That is my experience.

Everyone is selfish, yes, but doesn't that make us the same? We're all on the same boat ultimately. I would find it hard to even motivate myself to approach if I viewed getting women as some military tactic lol that's a weird mindset to operate from. Makes you look kinda incelish.

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17 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

 

More plates more dates,fast car good clothing ,nice place ,good looking face.I would fuck myself in notime.

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16 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

Everyone is selfish, yes, but doesn't that make us the same? We're all on the same boat ultimately. I would find it hard to even motivate myself to approach if I viewed getting women as some military tactic lol that's a weird mindset to operate from. Makes you look kinda incelish.

I was a hard case incel so I know what I'm talking about. 

Girls are NOT on our team. Read the book no more mister nice guy. 

Girls love guys who can take care of themselves and can stand on their own feet. Yes, there is collaboration between the sexes but when push comes to shove we are on our own. 


In Tate we trust

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It's about pick up lines and talk.Flirting and enjoying company of women to enter her panties without she even noticing it that's your sole purpose.

Edited by Zeroguy

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3 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

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Well,wish I can run that PUA experiment .

You know actual results.

Shit test  that's why they are ruthless want to push away weaklings from themselves .

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23 hours ago, StarStruck said:

To defeat the enemy you have to understand their psychology

If you keep studying "women" as if they're aliens, you will not understand them and it's a road of self-deception.

This is not about women at all, this is about people. You are people. I am people.

They are just treating you like you would treat the relentless sales reps that are calling you literally every day, to convince you to switch phone provider or cable company.

After 19 years of being pestered by relentless salespeople every day, you probably won't be very inclined to write a polite "No thank you, but have an incredible day sir" message either. Especially when you've learnt that most "polite" salespeople, upon seeing a polite message like that, become enraged, even threatening, or emotional, and keep trying to "reason with you". NO. NO VERIZON FOR ME SIR.

So instead of verizon, they're selling their dick. But it's the same thing. You're not interested in it. And every day new guys come to sell you dicks you're not interested in. They're "polite", but you know that that's just a cover. When you say no, they become really unpredictable. Many become butthurt and you have to deal with the fallout. Some even become stalkers. And these salespeople are much stronger than you and can physically hurt you easily. And they are emotionally unstable and wildly unpredictable when you reject them and say the wrong thing as you do it. You never know what will set them off.

Would you treat these salespeople with "respect and dignity" every day after 20 years of being pestered, and upon rejection, called names or even threatened?

Or would you perhaps prefer to not take that gamble, and upon seeing any sign that this one might be one of those, GTF out?

 

And if you're thinking: "But I am so much better than those everyday needy guys, and she should know!", think again. She's not that far off. When a woman rejects you, you still have a substantial emotional reaction. Which is what she can detect, and for her that's the criterium to assume you're "one of those". You know better than to be mean and threatening to women if you don't get your way, and that's great, but you still have the emotional response. It has to go somewhere, so you post on a forum. A much healthier outlet indeed. But she doesn't know that.

All she has to work with, is the question "do I feel like this guy is needy", to determine whether you might become dangerous to her. So she develops her neediness sensors, and uses them to keep her away from needy guys. You might deal with your emotions better than some other guy, but as long as you're still needy, she'll want to GTFO to avoid trouble as soon as she detects that.

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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25 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I was a hard case incel so I know what I'm talking about. 

Consider that if you were a hard case incel, moving to a milder position might look like a huge shift. Because everything is relative.

But to the average person, you might appear stuck in the incel paradigm.

27 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Girls are NOT on our team.

There are no teams. And relationships shouldn't be seen as a zero sum game. 

47 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

Everyone is selfish, yes, but doesn't that make us the same? We're all on the same boat ultimately. I would find it hard to even motivate myself to approach if I viewed getting women as some military tactic lol that's a weird mindset to operate from. Makes you look kinda incelish.

Exactly. 

30 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Read the book no more mister nice guy. 

Girls love guys who can take care of themselves and can stand on their own feet. Yes, there is collaboration between the sexes but when push comes to shove we are on our own. 

Your inner posture and approach towards girls, as well as how you are perceiving yourself is the splinter you've got in the foot. 

There is a strong inner rejection mechanism within you towards girl that sabotage you energetically. 

Also shadow work could do wonders in order to help you.

I wish you good luck and hope things will work for you in the future.  

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5 minutes ago, flowboy said:

If you keep studying "women" as if they're aliens, you will not understand them and it's a road of self-deception.

This is not about women at all, this is about people. You are people. I am people.

They are just treating you like you would treat the relentless sales reps that are calling you literally every day, to convince you to switch phone provider or cable company.

After 19 years of being pestered by relentless salespeople every day, you probably won't be very inclined to write a polite "No thank you, but have an incredible day sir" message either. Especially when you've learnt that most "polite" salespeople, upon seeing a polite message like that, become enraged, even threatening, or emotional, and keep trying to "reason with you". NO. NO VERIZON FOR ME SIR.

So instead of verizon, they're selling their dick. But it's the same thing. You're not interested in it. And every day new guys come to sell you dicks you're not interested in. They're "polite", but you know that that's just a cover. When you say no, they become really unpredictable. Many become butthurt and you have to deal with the fallout. Some even become stalkers. And these salespeople are much stronger than you and can physically hurt you easily. And they are emotionally unstable and wildly unpredictable when you reject them and say the wrong thing as you do it. You never know what will set them off.

Would you treat these salespeople with "respect and dignity" every day after 20 years of being pestered, and upon rejection, called names or even threatened?

Or would you perhaps prefer to not take that gamble, and upon seeing any sign that this one might be one of those, GTF out?

Very accurate. Thanks for writing this.

also @RendHeaven, your post was spot on :).

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1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

I was a hard case incel so I know what I'm talking about. 

If you were a hardcore incel in the past, you should be that much more carefull about any remaining toxic thoughts you might have.

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

Girls are NOT on our team. Read the book no more mister nice guy. 

They may be not angels and perfect human beings, but they aren't enemies either. I understand that to approach women, you gotta have some courage and balls, so you should definitely not have any romanticized picture about them. However, viewing them and looking at them as a target will come back to bite you in the ass eventually, it's gonna fuck up your game. Only a matter of time.

Guys that fuck a lot don't think like this. They just simply don't give a fuck. Simple. There's nothing personal in it for them.

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

Girls love guys who can take care of themselves and can stand on their own feet. Yes, there is collaboration between the sexes but when push comes to shove we are on our own. 

Everyone is on their own really.

Edited by Peter Miklis

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18 hours ago, fopylo said:

But you kinda contradict yourself because you just said that lower SD stage girls will not be attracted to this. Most girls are not super evolved psychologically. Basically most girls will go away from you while you still attract girls, but less

If you want tribal or violent/impulsive girls, yes. 

Generally from stage orange and above girls tend to like personality, humor, authenticity and social freedom. Generally self expression is very attractive to a sufficiently evolved girl :)


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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3 hours ago, CultivateLove said:

The reality is, girls actually love REAL nice guys

Can you give me some examples of this being the case 

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It could be useful to hear a more conscious woman's opinion. 


Inquire in the now.

Feeling is the truest knowing ?️

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@Leo Gura True words, a thing which can be fixed only through experience. Meditation will not work with this one. Abudance is needed to cure it. Similar to having friends, once you burn through that social karma neediness tends to be removed quite a lot.

Also regarding the struggles of girls except the 3 i mentioned which can be easily avoided by dating normies over players (getting pumped and dumped, dumped for younger/hotter girls and abused) are there any others? Would be quite curious to know.

Edited by Karmadhi

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56 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

If you were a hardcore incel in the past, you should be that much more carefull about any remaining toxic thoughts you might have.

They may be not angels and perfect human beings, but they aren't enemies either. I understand that to approach women, you gotta have some courage and balls, so you should definitely not have any romanticized picture about them. However, viewing them and looking at them as a target will come back to bite you in the ass eventually, it's gonna fuck up your game. Only a matter of time.

Guys that fuck a lot don't think like this. They just simply don't give a fuck. Simple. There's nothing personal in it for them.

Everyone is on their own really.

I know. I'm not planning to hold these beliefs on the long term but at this moment it works. Girls are my enemy. This mindset is a gamechanger. I'm just going with what works for me, not what works for other people. We are all in different places on our road map. Good advice for one person is bad advice for the other. 

1 hour ago, Etherial Cat said:

Consider that if you were a hard case incel, moving to a milder position might look like a huge shift. Because everything is relative.

There is no perfect A to B plan to get out of incel-hood. I'm just going with what works. At this moment I need to be ruthless and integrate my inner psychopath as Jordan Peterson recommends.

Quote

But to the average person, you might appear stuck in the incel paradigm.

There are no teams. And relationships shouldn't be seen as a zero sum game. 

Exactly. 

Your inner posture and approach towards girls, as well as how you are perceiving yourself is the splinter you've got in the foot. 

There is a strong inner rejection mechanism within you towards girl that sabotage you energetically. 

Also shadow work could do wonders in order to help you.

I wish you good luck and hope things will work for you in the future.  

I will get into shadow work very soon.

Edited by StarStruck

In Tate we trust

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1 hour ago, flowboy said:

If you keep studying "women" as if they're aliens, you will not understand them and it's a road of self-deception.

This is not about women at all, this is about people. You are people. I am people.

They are just treating you like you would treat the relentless sales reps that are calling you literally every day, to convince you to switch phone provider or cable company.

After 19 years of being pestered by relentless salespeople every day, you probably won't be very inclined to write a polite "No thank you, but have an incredible day sir" message either. Especially when you've learnt that most "polite" salespeople, upon seeing a polite message like that, become enraged, even threatening, or emotional, and keep trying to "reason with you". NO. NO VERIZON FOR ME SIR.

So instead of verizon, they're selling their dick. But it's the same thing. You're not interested in it. And every day new guys come to sell you dicks you're not interested in. They're "polite", but you know that that's just a cover. When you say no, they become really unpredictable. Many become butthurt and you have to deal with the fallout. Some even become stalkers. And these salespeople are much stronger than you and can physically hurt you easily. And they are emotionally unstable and wildly unpredictable when you reject them and say the wrong thing as you do it. You never know what will set them off.

Would you treat these salespeople with "respect and dignity" every day after 20 years of being pestered, and upon rejection, called names or even threatened?

Or would you perhaps prefer to not take that gamble, and upon seeing any sign that this one might be one of those, GTF out?

 

And if you're thinking: "But I am so much better than those everyday needy guys, and she should know!", think again. She's not that far off. When a woman rejects you, you still have a substantial emotional reaction. Which is what she can detect, and for her that's the criterium to assume you're "one of those". You know better than to be mean and threatening to women if you don't get your way, and that's great, but you still have the emotional response. It has to go somewhere, so you post on a forum. A much healthier outlet indeed. But she doesn't know that.

All she has to work with, is the question "do I feel like this guy is needy", to determine whether you might become dangerous to her. So she develops her neediness sensors, and uses them to keep her away from needy guys. You might deal with your emotions better than some other guy, but as long as you're still needy, she'll want to GTFO to avoid trouble as soon as she detects that.

Ok, now I'm understanding girls much better. :)

I'm just playing with different paradigms. I'm a needy guy and I'm not ashamed to admit my needs and If they want that non-needy guy I can become it by deception.

I have two options: be authentically needy or be deceptive non-needy.

Girls push me to be the latter.

And currently I do have multiple girls that I'm hitting up. What I'm doing right now works. Girls like to be gamed and that is what I'm doing.

2 hours ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Just relax bro. Seriously, you are in the Netherlands, it's an amazing country and with reeeeally beautiful women. Just keep trying, and I pretty sure you get a hot girl. Try to go to clubs and approach girls. Dutch men usually are pretty shy, so since you emulate the qualities I said to you before, it's going to be easy to stand out. 


I don't have trouble getting phone numbers. I'm just frustrated about their flaking and treating nice guy like my self like dirt. After Flowboy's explanation I kind of get it now.

Edited by StarStruck

In Tate we trust

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