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Hardkill

My current personal record for quitting porn

14 posts in this topic

Hey guys, so today is the day that I believe (if I can recall correctly) that I actually stopped jerking off to porn for about 6 months in a row. That's undoubtedly the longest I've ever gone with quitting porn. 

Now, to be totally honest with you guys, I did during the past 6 months, at rare times skim through quickly some various porn clips or images for about a few seconds each time out of habit and just to see what I might be missing out on during my abstention. However, not once I did ever jerk off, touch myself, or bust a nut while looking at any of them. Do those moments not count as part of quitting porn or not?

Btw, I've decided that I will for the first in 6 months watching some porn again tonight because I've gotten so unbelievably sexually frustrated as a single guy, especially after not having had sex for over a year and a half now. lol.

What do you guys think?

Edited by Hardkill

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Dude, six months, praise be to you for the carried out and committed dopamine detox of your brain chemistry. Yeah, porn, pornographic, and erotic material addiction as a form of venting off anger, restlessness, anxiety, or sexual frustration ruined, in my opinion, and experience, my concentration, and mental resilience capabilities of postponing gratification and I think made me weaker mentally, physically and morally as a person overall towards other people, in terms of patience, empathy and degree of caring for other people and people close to me. Say what anyone will on this forum about stoping resistance, awareness, and self-loving the porn addiction was and its aftereffects are still are for me like neurotoxin or numbing agent for my soul and psyche.

It feels like numbing and clouding of my bodily and mental awareness and also that the semen discharge is sapping more energy and strength out of me than I would have if I didn't discharge so often or regularly

That's why I am in this current situation that I am now facing strongly considering committing myself to some form of disciplinary solution like No-Fap, though I think I would really struggle to drop dry masturbation all together when I am usually horny and restless at night time. Though I think even that would be possible in the first phase of dropping porn altogether and then after a couple of weeks moving to the next phase of committing myself to abstain myself and overcome the desire to masturbate at night altogether even when I am restless and can't fall asleep and have sexual thoughts. Can I ask you what resources, what website info and techniques did you use and implement to pull this off and stick to it for a whopping six months, I remember when I first tried no fap about two years ago or so that I only could last for about one month and a half before I relapsed. So if you have any useful and universal advice on how to endure and mitigate the sexual and instant gratification desires of it when feeling weak or under pressure for a longer period of time I would greatly appreciate it and would probably have to start a NoFap journal on this forum again.


"Keep your eye on the ball. " - Michael Brooks 

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@Hardkill Just rub one out using your imagination. And then focus on important things. Nofap should be the least of your concerns.

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@Peter Miklis cringe and cope. consider what you write before posting.

@Hardkill Those peeks and stuff are part of the journey ;) don't think about them at all. good that you didn't go back into the habit, not even once, that means you did it really clean.

Now that you're 6 months in, I'd advise against keeping track of how long you didn't partake in that activity. Integrate it into your lifestyle. Become a person who is free from it - identity-based habits are considered to be the strongest ones.

As for watching it again, that's the porn mind speaking. Why isn't the sexual frustration leading you towards getting a girl? Porn and masturbation is like salty water. Use your sexual energy to work on yourself and to attract a woman.

 

Edited by Kshantivadin

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@Kshantivadin Since I already got some warning points from Leo's minions, I'm going to be polite. What exactly is the cringe and cope part of my post?

Edited by Peter Miklis

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@Peter Miklis why would a person need to "rub one out"? and then "focus on important things"?

this dude hasn't watched porn for half a year (and perhaps hasn't masturbated at all, unclear in the post) and you advise him to rub one out. that's cringe and cope.

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@Kshantivadin

1.) I don't practice nofap, so I'm not coping. In fact, nofap is one giant cope lol

2.) Cringe is very subjective. For example, I find it quite cringy that grown men would dedicate the time of their short life on how they haven't touched their dick for 6 months.

Focusing on nofap streaks is futile. Especially in Hardkill's case, because his problem is interaction with women and people in general, if I remember his posts correctly. The right course of action is to attack the core of the problem head on, not pussyfoot around it with useless tools like nofap.

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@Hardkill Congrats man, I know how difficult it can be. I went 100 days recently, never felt as good before, I had been seriously fucking up my brain chemistry and even biological functions for years. It all healed more and more. Then I thought, well why not once? And it all went downhill from there. That's addiction, it's like an alcoholic getting "just a sip" after years of abstinence. Just don't do it if you've been addicted, the pattern can come back quickly, it's as simple as that. Some people here frown upon the practice, but it's simply just like a drug addiction (not for all, but for many), and there is nothing to be ashamed of getting addicted as a damaged, unconscious young man who discovers the infinite stimulation of the most primal pleasure knob in his brain. It makes perfect sense. And if that's you, know that to quit completely is a safe bet anyways, no need to take the risk. And porn is nothing you miss out about, you've had plenty :P 

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On 7/7/2021 at 1:04 AM, Milos Uzelac said:

Dude, six months, praise be to you for the carried out and committed dopamine detox of your brain chemistry. Yeah, porn, pornographic, and erotic material addiction as a form of venting off anger, restlessness, anxiety, or sexual frustration ruined, in my opinion, and experience, my concentration, and mental resilience capabilities of postponing gratification and I think made me weaker mentally, physically and morally as a person overall towards other people, in terms of patience, empathy and degree of caring for other people and people close to me. Say what anyone will on this forum about stoping resistance, awareness, and self-loving the porn addiction was and its aftereffects are still are for me like neurotoxin or numbing agent for my soul and psyche.

It feels like numbing and clouding of my bodily and mental awareness and also that the semen discharge is sapping more energy and strength out of me than I would have if I didn't discharge so often or regularly

That's why I am in this current situation that I am now facing strongly considering committing myself to some form of disciplinary solution like No-Fap, though I think I would really struggle to drop dry masturbation all together when I am usually horny and restless at night time. Though I think even that would be possible in the first phase of dropping porn altogether and then after a couple of weeks moving to the next phase of committing myself to abstain myself and overcome the desire to masturbate at night altogether even when I am restless and can't fall asleep and have sexual thoughts. Can I ask you what resources, what website info and techniques did you use and implement to pull this off and stick to it for a whopping six months, I remember when I first tried no fap about two years ago or so that I only could last for about one month and a half before I relapsed. So if you have any useful and universal advice on how to endure and mitigate the sexual and instant gratification desires of it when feeling weak or under pressure for a longer period of time I would greatly appreciate it and would probably have to start a NoFap journal on this forum again.

These are some of the vids I watched that helped me quit porn for a while:

 

I especially thought that Caitlyn's advice on continuing to masturbate without watching porn helped a lot. That's very much what I did.

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52 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

These are some of the vids I watched that helped me quit porn for a while:

 

I especially thought that Caitlyn's advice on continuing to masturbate without watching porn helped a lot. That's very much what I did.

Nice! Thanks for the online resources supplied I will definitely watch both and check them out.


"Keep your eye on the ball. " - Michael Brooks 

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@Peter Miklis the assumption is that semen retention would lead him to align his life and thus fix the problems. it can lead to other problems though, if not approached correctly (eg the nofap community).

jizzing all around is very cringe and you are dishonest if you don't see how masturbation is a cope. what's cope is that you think that abstaining from something means "working on something". and the biggest cope is that you dedicate the time out of your very short lifespan into fucking your hand. why not fuck some beautiful girls instead? :D

wish you all the best

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10 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

the assumption is that semen retention would lead him to align his life and thus fix the problems. it can lead to other problems though, if not approached correctly (eg the nofap community).

Fair enough then. If that's what it takes for him to fix things, then by all means, do it. Or shall I say, don't do it??

10 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

jizzing all around is very cringe and you are dishonest if you don't see how masturbation is a cope.

Listen, it doesn't matter how's it gonna get out of your system, the fact is it's gonna get out somehow, be it throught sex, masturbation, wet dreams, or even pissing it out into the toilet. So all this talk about semen retention doesn't even make sense, and is quite dangerous actually. It's not good to store your semen, you can get actual prostate cancer.

10 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

what's cope is that you think that abstaining from something means "working on something".

Where have I said that? I indirectly implied that talking and thinking about nofap/semen retention takes up your mental space, which could be used for other usefull things. Nofap as a tool does fuck all in reality. What actually does the trick is, you know... working on the actual issues?

10 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

and the biggest cope is that you dedicate the time out of your very short lifespan into fucking your hand. why not fuck some beautiful girls instead? :D

I'm the guy that used to struggle with this, and eventually found out that moderation is best, not abstaining. Now I do it whenever I feel it's been too long, which is probably once a 2 weeks (I don't really count it, cuz I don't care). Just a quick jerk using imagination, and my mind is fresh again.

Why not fuck some beautiful girls instead? Why not ask Hardkill, he didn't have sex for 1,5 years? you're talking as if you can just go out to the shop, buy a pornstar for 9,99€ and fuck her. The reality is, unless you have a steady gf, there are big chunks of time in which you'll be on your own. And that's fine.

Btw, I agree that porn can become a problem for someone that's not in control of his impulses. It can fuck up your psyche if you let it, no doubt. But, why not just stop watching porn then? Why should you get rid of masturbation?

10 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

wish you all the best

You too man. Bye

Edited by Peter Miklis

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5 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

Listen, it doesn't matter how's it gonna get out of your system, the fact is it's gonna get out somehow, be it throught sex, masturbation, wet dreams, or even pissing it out into the toilet. So all this talk about semen retention doesn't even make sense

You're implying that the only facet of this is that there is biological semen, and it's either in your balls or not. Unholistic and one-sided thinking. Yogic systems have taught us forever that there's so much more to the body than these simple bio-logical/-chemical processes and states. Why write off that perspective? From my own experience, I can confirm this - there is a clear, obvious, undeniable energetic side to all of this, and even though you might urinate semen out, the energy nevertheless builds up immensely over time. Moreover, since mind and body are NOT separate, there is a difference between the body doing "its thing" out of logistic reasons and you ejaculating the energy/semen intentionally out of your system. It's energetically similar to incessant thinking for example. A keyword here is transmutation of this sexual energy. It's working for any blocked energy in the body - you circulate it, nourish your whole system with it, let it harmonize you. That's a spiritually advanced technique of release, albeit being unfeasible and "nonsense" to most people who don't even feel their energetic system. Not to mention that we have no idea what the fuck is going on here, so why would we write off mystics who might have 100-fold deeper insights into all this than we do? There is probably so much more to this than what I just mentioned.

5 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

is quite dangerous actually. It's not good to store your semen, you can get actual prostate cancer.

Science 101 - correlation does not equal causality. Yes, there are studies suggesting that ejaculation can decrease risk of getting prostate cancer. This is not even slightly the same as saying "you can get actual prostate cancer" as a direct cause of not ejaculating intentionally. Actually using this as an argument is ridiculous. Don't you understand that the mind of an addict searches for every reason it can find to turn back to the addiction? It's like saying to an alcoholic "well, red wine has resveratrol in it which is immensely healthy". Just not helpful for a struggling individual.

5 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

talking and thinking about nofap/semen retention takes up your mental space, which could be used for other usefull things.

I agree, that can become a big trap (as with all other "issues", negative fixations perpetuate the story). BUT, there are two major reasons to think and talk about this. 1) Contemplating the mechanism of the addiction, and the source of the intention to quit, without that you won't go anywhere, 2) Reminding oneself (being reminded) of this source of intention.

5 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

eventually found out that moderation is best, not abstaining.

Again, this is 1) a one-faceted view of this problem and 2) a generalization which you now imply everyone shares with you because it is factual. There are enough edge cases, like addiction, for which abstinence certainly is the more helpful approach for many people. Some wirings in your brain take years or decades to unwind, this is immensely different to someone who never built these wirings in the first place. 

5 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

porn can become a problem for someone that's not in control of his impulses.

And yet another oversimplification of something which is much more nuanced. And this one gets me emotionally to be honest because I've contemplated this process for years in myself and others, and such a limited understanding sends the wrong signals to people who struggle with an addiction. This is not about "control", addiction has nothing to do with lack of discipline, at least not at its root. Addiction is rooted in pain, in fear, and even if the relative coping mechanism of the psyche is seen through, there is an existential fear which leads all unrealized beings to become prone to addiction - some more, some less. A major problem this generalization has is twofold: 1) you tell the person that he/she is guilty of not being in control which just deepens the root cause of the addiction, 2) you act as if you were above that. Addiction is a specific, extreme manifestation of the root split in all of us, which includes you. Read some Gabor Mate if you want to contemplate a different perspective of why people are addicted, it's very humbling and interesting. To underline my point with my own experience: The moment I do the spiritual practices to elevate consciousness, start to take responsibility, am sincere and honest, and am curiously investigating myself while surrendering all games to God/Love, there is not the least effort in "controlling my impulses". There is consciousness of what is going on in the mind. There is an understanding of what this means due to direct consciousness of truth which leads to unmasking of all fear/illusion/deception. This is a self-correcting mechanism, even for people who don't see their truth - most hard addicts who quit understood that there is something bigger than their apparent self. This is the gateway, and not trying to control even more.

Edited by peanutspathtotruth

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