Javfly33

Since I learned about pick up, whenever I see a hot girl walking down the street...

27 posts in this topic

And I don't approach her, I instantly feel bad/experience suffering of FOMO.

Every PUA now will say "well that's your pain that motivates you to actually approach". But honestly I don't remember being warned I basically would become a slave to my sexual/attraction urges and I would sign a contract with my mind of receiving emotional suffering if I don't want to interact with a stranger in the middle of the street.

Does this goes away when you start approaching on a regular basis and then you can let go some hotties from time to time without feeling TERRIBLE in the inside!!!??


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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Are you either scared of rejection or do you feel like a creep just approaching a stranger in (I assume) daylight? Do you feel you have to approach now because if not, you're doing yourself short because of this story you told yourself?

Do you think these questions go to the root of the terrible feeling in the inside?

From a non-dual perspective your not missing out on anything.

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Hehehe....

This is just you realizing how little action you take.

Rather than asking how to feel good about not approaching, approach!

It's not about the sex. It's about curing your weakness as a man.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Javfly33 This is like being 50 and discovering that self-imporvement exist and now all you can think about is how much time you wasted, notice the feeling and use that as a sign to approach it gets better down the road

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Posted (edited)

you are thinking way too much about it and judging yourself which is why you feel terrible. If you'd just approach openly then you would transcend this fantasy you have about it, cause you'd have some real world experience and then you would know where to go from there. 

mind you, I have never done approaching, but I do know mental suffering lol.

Edited by SgtPepper

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Posted (edited)

@Javfly33 I highly recommend doing a 'blindspots' call with Jad T Jones. He's a very understanding, no-bullshit coach and will point out your weaknesses. Especially if you have an overactive mind. 

Also, just making conversation with strangers whenever possible helps build momentum. For example, if you're waiting at the bus stop and some dude is waiting too, just say "Hey what's up" or give a compliment and make conversation. You'd be amazed at how fast you can build momentum and then carry that into approaching women.

Cheers~

Edited by WonderSeeker

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In this video, it sounds like he's talking about exactly the issue you raise.  If I understand you correctly.

His solution at a fundamental layer = self-love rather than self-chastisement.  Even if you don't do what you know you should be doing.


"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"   --   Marry Poppins

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 @Javfly33No one here understood what you said. Thats the consequence of being under conditioning. When you do, learn and read alot about pickup, you actually build a belief system towards woman in all aspects. One of them is that urge of feeling like you need to approach, etc. Like, you should want to approach, not really feel you need to. Some puas condition themselves on purpose to practice pickup on automatic. Its like building your own paradigm on purpose to get the skill, then dropping  or changing it. Thou, it can get tricky if you dont know how to change your psychology. Watchout with what you buy into. To stop feeling like you need to, when you didnt feel as in the past. You have to unprogram that conditioning. 


The riches of illusion do not even compare to the riches of freedom.  -Sri Sadguru Siddharameshwar Maharaj

 

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11 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

And I don't approach her, I instantly feel bad/experience suffering of FOMO.

Every PUA now will say "well that's your pain that motivates you to actually approach". But honestly I don't remember being warned I basically would become a slave to my sexual/attraction urges and I would sign a contract with my mind of receiving emotional suffering if I don't want to interact with a stranger in the middle of the street.

Does this goes away when you start approaching on a regular basis and then you can let go some hotties from time to time without feeling TERRIBLE in the inside!!!??

Haha I remember that phase ! Don't worry it is not forever :)

Try to go back to that feeling when you have time and meditate, and then just observe it, and try to love it if you can. Like Leo said, awareness is curative. If you observe and love the emotion, you could have some deeply liberating emotional releases. 

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12 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

And I don't approach her, I instantly feel bad/experience suffering of FOMO.

Every PUA now will say "well that's your pain that motivates you to actually approach". But honestly I don't remember being warned I basically would become a slave to my sexual/attraction urges and I would sign a contract with my mind of receiving emotional suffering if I don't want to interact with a stranger in the middle of the street.

Does this goes away when you start approaching on a regular basis and then you can let go some hotties from time to time without feeling TERRIBLE in the inside!!!??

Do you think it’s FOMO in terms of missing out on a potential experience with the woman?

Or is it FOMO in the sense that you’ve missed the chance to prove to yourself that you’re man enough to approach?

Basically, is it about the desire for experience as the thing in itself? Or is it about the desire to get away from feelings of inadequacy?


Enrollment now open for my Shadow Work Group Class! Limited spots available. 

Click here to learn more!

 

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4 hours ago, Emerald said:

Do you think it’s FOMO in terms of missing out on a potential experience with the woman?

Or is it FOMO in the sense that you’ve missed the chance to prove to yourself that you’re man enough to approach?

Basically, is it about the desire for experience as the thing in itself? Or is it about the desire to get away from feelings of inadequacy?

Haha - you're like a knife 🔪 🗡️

 


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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19 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

And I don't approach her, I instantly feel bad/experience suffering of FOMO.

I understand you. Accept yourself at that stage of life where you are at right now. Love yourself. Give yourself the love you need.

Everything else builds on that. It's also a much more enjoyable way of life.


"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

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Posted (edited)

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

Do you think it’s FOMO in terms of missing out on a potential experience with the woman?

Or is it FOMO in the sense that you’ve missed the chance to prove to yourself that you’re man enough to approach?

Basically, is it about the desire for experience as the thing in itself? Or is it about the desire to get away from feelings of inadequacy?

 

@Emerald I wouldn't mind in accepting the second one but I really think here is the first one 🤷🏻‍♂️

pD: of course ultimately I want to approach to have success with women and achieve the phase of dating/sex/receiving feelings of attraction/love+validation from women which ultimately will make feel good about myself.

But approach is just a step, the final goal is becoming attractive man. 

@WaveInTheOcean

Edited by Javfly33

A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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Yeah PUA culture does that to you, it makes you feel guilty everytime you don't approach, they make you feel guilty so that you buy their product believing your guilt will disappear, it's a business model and it sells. I had the same problem, the problem arises because you are resisting the feelings of guilt and fomo, just accept them, everytime you see a beautiful women feel the emotions inside and accept the fact that yeah maybe you are missing out, maybe you don't have the courage to approach, and maybe you don't even deserve a girl like that, by constantly doing this you stop being a slave of your emotions and you will start to approach whenever you feel inspired to, it will come naturally and you wont even have to think of it. And now because you are not acting out of fear and neuroticism the interaction will be much smoother and enjoyable. Stop beating yourself up with a whip.

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5 minutes ago, Crane Bahnsteik said:

and maybe you don't even deserve a girl like that

LMAO who the fuck are they, and why wouldn't he 'deserve' them?? gtfo with that

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1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

 

@Emerald I wouldn't mind in accepting the second one but I really think here is the first one 🤷🏻‍♂️

Dude, it's both.

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

pD: of course ultimately I want to approach to have success with women and achieve the phase of dating/sex/receiving feelings of attraction/love+validation from women which ultimately will make feel good about myself.

But approach is just a step, the final goal is becoming attractive man. 

@WaveInTheOcean

 


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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32 minutes ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

Dude, it's both.

 

Yeah but I'm used to the pain of second one Lol since it got cronic 😂 the first one comes from time to time

pD: I'm just kidding, it's all an act, I will stop behaving like a victim


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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@Crane Bahnsteik thanks maaaaan 

34 minutes ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

 

 


A thought can´t ever tell you how you feel.

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1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

Yeah but I'm used to the pain of second one Lol since it got cronic 😂 the first one comes from time to time

pD: I'm just kidding, it's all an act, I will stop behaving like a victim

🙃😆😅😇🥰😁👍💜🌻🔪🧠🕺💃💦


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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You feel bad about not approaching because you don't have the harem (or one girl) you so desire.  Just keep approaching and you will come to a point that you either get what you want or you will be depressed and forced to look inside.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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