I am in the middle of an artistic crisis

[Applegarden8]

I am in the middle of slowly but steadily working on my first EP. I very recently noticed something. That is - nothing you choose to do will result in your fullfillment, except the striving for truth. So I have a meaning problem, regardless of what my strengths and weaknesses are. Up until this point I wantes to build my life up. It has been painfully stagnant, but I made some valuable progress. But there is always that question lingering in my head: "Do you really want what you think you want at the moment?" I see the artists perspective now and I have barely begun in the music production and I already like the result although there is constant trustration and grudgery and it's fine. But what I am underestanding is this. I am just merely exausting the desire to accomplish something and it will certainly leave me unfullfilled. And besides that what I have wanted is that this is my last birth. I have everything I need to work on music I would really enjoy, I have no two toughts about it. It would just get better and better with time. But, at the end of the day, I am seeking fullfillment. I know it. I have been burning for it for years now. I know what will happen when I die. There is a subtle conviction about it, if I surrender and keep flowing. I will get it, maybe I won't quit music, but I don't know that and I wouldn't care then. But if I do, it would be a lifetime of beautiful self-expression trough music, for as long as I can do it, but just for this lifetime. I am already satisfied with the 10 minutes of unfinished music that I made.

I guess I will keep doing music and do a 5 track EP, but after that I truly do not know, and consciously keep projecting the desire of wanting to be a musician.

Any feedback welcome.

[SgtPepper]

This is all normal, eventually this thought train will run its course and you will transcend to a higher mature level. 

[Nahm]

I am in the middle of an artistic crisis.

Take this twice each morning, you’ll be feeling right as rain. 

Also, awareness of subject-objects thoughts, the answerless answer. 

Body meditation might seem completely unrelated but I think you’d get a lot out of clarity & certainty out of it. 

[Applegarden8]

15 hours ago, Nahm said:

I am in the middle of an artistic crisis.

Take this twice each morning, you’ll be feeling right as rain. 

Also, awareness of subject-objects thoughts, the answerless answer. 

Body meditation might seem completely unrelated but I think you’d get a lot out of clarity & certainty out of it. 

Thanks man, I was expecting somebody like you to answer. I could almost feel it. 

[Nahm]

@Applegarden8

Thanks.☺️ ... Not kidding on that ‘take this twice’. That song is a most powerful vibration. It is infused ineffably. For max juice, volume of speaker & lungs at 11. If I was in your shoes I’d take a couple of this too, just to be safe. The content doesn’t matter. 

"The man that hath no music in himself,
nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds,
is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils." 
Shakespeare