Eternal Unity

4 months in a psychiatric hospital after Seeing The Ox

55 posts in this topic

On 4.7.2021 at 0:26 PM, Eternal Unity said:

I started my spiritual path somewhere in 2007/2008 but i wasn't really serious about it until I started studying philosophy at university in late 2010. In December of 2010, after reading Spinoza's Ethics, I had my first mystical experience. I, of course, didn't know what it was. I had an extreme emotional upheaval. An existential crisis.

I didn't sleep for over 72 hours, I was dehydrated and had a fever of 105. I had a near death experience on Dec 21st, 2010. I didn't care about all of this ; just wanted to read philosophy and deepen my understandings because I felt I discovered the truth.

My mother noticed a change in my behavior and i tried to explain to her all the knowledge I came upon. Pretty soon she called a doctor. A psychiatrist. The meet with him was highly disturbing for me. He diagnosed me with a psychotic attack and recommended a willful hospitalization in a psychiatric hospital in which he worked. We agreed. I was hospitalized on Dec 23rd, 2010.

For the next few days I received a high dose of anti psychotic medication and in my interviews with the medical staff I went on and on about how I am an eternal being, that I discovered The True God, that all of reality is One. They took notes and said: "Yes. of course you are"

3 weeks later, my condition worsened. I was totally detached from reality, according to my doctors. I had to be moved to a closed ward. And so I did. I hardly remember much from that time, being hazy from the meds. I spent 12 days there. At a certain point i realized who was there with me: murderers, sex offenders and terrorists. All of whom declared incompetent on the basis of insanity. I literally walked through the valley of the shadow of death but I feared no evil for I knew God is with me every step of the way. "You'll get throught this, Greg. You must! The world has to know what you now know." God told me. it was my 23rd birthday. "Endure these thoughts most impure, these pitch black insights. For this is the forging of a master." Somehow I survived. My condition improved and I was returned to the open ward. I integrated my soul for another three months with careful and gentle accompaniment of a female doctor. I also met a girl. a fellow patient. She was 19 and dark skinned. She tried to commit suicide by swallowing sleeping pills with vodka. We got close, helped each other through the hard times we were in and she was my first kiss :)

My state of consciousness returned to normal and on April 27th, 2011 I was released. I found a job 3 months later (My academy philosophy study came to an end. They wouldn't accept me back after missing 4 months). My mother and I thought it was for the best.

I started a healthy research into the nature of consciousness but it wasn't a smooth ride. I wasn't hospitalized again but had a psychosis on 2 other occasions. Last year I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder. A rare condition that has elements of both Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar Disorder. I continue to take medication.

But my story is not so bleak. I had awakenings, as well. Positive ones. Eight of them. Some into the nature of love, wisdom and time. After over 10 years of mental, conscious and mystical experiences I have a unique insight into some of the darkest experiences it is possible to endure as a human being and into some of the most blissful. I had it all along the spectrum :)

This is the first time I am sharing these details to anyone other than my therapists, doctors, social workers, coaches and mentors.

Thanks for reading ? It means a lot!

Greg

Wow this is truely moving!!! Thanks for sharing :)

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i have gone through dark times like u explain them too. i didnt have to go to the psychiatry. im really glad, i was horrified of the psychiatrists......

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Thank you for sharing! I relate with your journey. I’ve also been through the mental healthcare system intensely when I was younger, and it’s definitely not a walk in the park what we’ve been through.


Why did the pizza maker go broke? Because they couldn't make enough dough!

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@Hansli ?????


"I believe you are more afraid of condemning me to the stake than for me to receive your cruel and disproportionate punishment."

- Giordano Bruno, Campo de' Fiori, Rome, Italy. February 17th, 1600.

Cosmic pluralist, mathematician and poet.

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@flowboy Thank you so much, it was really nothing fancy.. great docs!


"I believe you are more afraid of condemning me to the stake than for me to receive your cruel and disproportionate punishment."

- Giordano Bruno, Campo de' Fiori, Rome, Italy. February 17th, 1600.

Cosmic pluralist, mathematician and poet.

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Glad You got through all that. :) It's inspiring!

Best of luck with the rest of your path. ?‍♂️

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On 7/4/2021 at 6:26 AM, Eternal Unity said:

I started my spiritual path somewhere in 2007/2008 but i wasn't really serious about it until I started studying philosophy at university in late 2010. In December of 2010, after reading Spinoza's Ethics, I had my first mystical experience. I, of course, didn't know what it was. I had an extreme emotional upheaval. An existential crisis.

I didn't sleep for over 72 hours, I was dehydrated and had a fever of 105. I had a near death experience on Dec 21st, 2010. I didn't care about all of this ; just wanted to read philosophy and deepen my understandings because I felt I discovered the truth.

My mother noticed a change in my behavior and i tried to explain to her all the knowledge I came upon. Pretty soon she called a doctor. A psychiatrist. The meet with him was highly disturbing for me. He diagnosed me with a psychotic attack and recommended a willful hospitalization in a psychiatric hospital in which he worked. We agreed. I was hospitalized on Dec 23rd, 2010.

For the next few days I received a high dose of anti psychotic medication and in my interviews with the medical staff I went on and on about how I am an eternal being, that I discovered The True God, that all of reality is One. They took notes and said: "Yes. of course you are"

3 weeks later, my condition worsened. I was totally detached from reality, according to my doctors. I had to be moved to a closed ward. And so I did. I hardly remember much from that time, being hazy from the meds. I spent 12 days there. At a certain point i realized who was there with me: murderers, sex offenders and terrorists. All of whom declared incompetent on the basis of insanity. I literally walked through the valley of the shadow of death but I feared no evil for I knew God is with me every step of the way. "You'll get throught this, Greg. You must! The world has to know what you now know." God told me. it was my 23rd birthday. "Endure these thoughts most impure, these pitch black insights. For this is the forging of a master." Somehow I survived. My condition improved and I was returned to the open ward. I integrated my soul for another three months with careful and gentle accompaniment of a female doctor. I also met a girl. a fellow patient. She was 19 and dark skinned. She tried to commit suicide by swallowing sleeping pills with vodka. We got close, helped each other through the hard times we were in and she was my first kiss :)

My state of consciousness returned to normal and on April 27th, 2011 I was released. I found a job 3 months later (My academy philosophy study came to an end. They wouldn't accept me back after missing 4 months). My mother and I thought it was for the best.

I started a healthy research into the nature of consciousness but it wasn't a smooth ride. I wasn't hospitalized again but had a psychosis on 2 other occasions. Last year I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder. A rare condition that has elements of both Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar Disorder. I continue to take medication.

But my story is not so bleak. I had awakenings, as well. Positive ones. Eight of them. Some into the nature of love, wisdom and time. After over 10 years of mental, conscious and mystical experiences I have a unique insight into some of the darkest experiences it is possible to endure as a human being and into some of the most blissful. I had it all along the spectrum :)

This is the first time I am sharing these details to anyone other than my therapists, doctors, social workers, coaches and mentors.

Thanks for reading ? It means a lot!

Greg

Careful not to assume your psychosis is an awakening.

Awkaneings will not land you in the hospital for an entire year. 

I suggest alot less reading and work to take up more practical practices. :)

Edited by Aiwass

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@Aiwass Thank you.


"I believe you are more afraid of condemning me to the stake than for me to receive your cruel and disproportionate punishment."

- Giordano Bruno, Campo de' Fiori, Rome, Italy. February 17th, 1600.

Cosmic pluralist, mathematician and poet.

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@Blackhawk hahahaha do it man but dont go to the wards


<banned for jokes in the joke section>

Thought Art I am disappointed in your behavior ?

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On 05/07/2021 at 2:33 PM, Blackhawk said:

No idea what you are talking about. I've been in a psych ward, both voluntarily and involuntarily, and there was no forced medication or inhumane treatment.

Dude, there's obviously big differences in psych wards within even the same country, let alone different countries.


"Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down"   --   Marry Poppins

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Amazing, you have awoken naturally without the need of psycodelics just as the user Brandon Rohe of this forum

 

Can you tell me your opinion of this books?

 

- The dissapearence of the Universe, by Gary Renard

- A Course In Miracles

 

 

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Now that's a story!

However, the story is not over. 

God's light & love will be the end of the story ?


Those you do not forgive you fear. 

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On 04/07/2021 at 2:56 PM, Eternal Unity said:

I started my spiritual path somewhere in 2007/2008 but i wasn't really serious about it until I started studying philosophy at university in late 2010. In December of 2010, after reading Spinoza's Ethics, I had my first mystical experience. I, of course, didn't know what it was. I had an extreme emotional upheaval. An existential crisis.

I didn't sleep for over 72 hours, I was dehydrated and had a fever of 105. I had a near death experience on Dec 21st, 2010. I didn't care about all of this ; just wanted to read philosophy and deepen my understandings because I felt I discovered the truth.

My mother noticed a change in my behavior and i tried to explain to her all the knowledge I came upon. Pretty soon she called a doctor. A psychiatrist. The meet with him was highly disturbing for me. He diagnosed me with a psychotic attack and recommended a willful hospitalization in a psychiatric hospital in which he worked. We agreed. I was hospitalized on Dec 23rd, 2010.

For the next few days I received a high dose of anti psychotic medication and in my interviews with the medical staff I went on and on about how I am an eternal being, that I discovered The True God, that all of reality is One. They took notes and said: "Yes. of course you are"

3 weeks later, my condition worsened. I was totally detached from reality, according to my doctors. I had to be moved to a closed ward. And so I did. I hardly remember much from that time, being hazy from the meds. I spent 12 days there. At a certain point i realized who was there with me: murderers, sex offenders and terrorists. All of whom declared incompetent on the basis of insanity. I literally walked through the valley of the shadow of death but I feared no evil for I knew God is with me every step of the way. "You'll get throught this, Greg. You must! The world has to know what you now know." God told me. it was my 23rd birthday. "Endure these thoughts most impure, these pitch black insights. For this is the forging of a master." Somehow I survived. My condition improved and I was returned to the open ward. I integrated my soul for another three months with careful and gentle accompaniment of a female doctor. I also met a girl. a fellow patient. She was 19 and dark skinned. She tried to commit suicide by swallowing sleeping pills with vodka. We got close, helped each other through the hard times we were in and she was my first kiss :)

My state of consciousness returned to normal and on April 27th, 2011 I was released. I found a job 3 months later (My academy philosophy study came to an end. They wouldn't accept me back after missing 4 months). My mother and I thought it was for the best.

I started a healthy research into the nature of consciousness but it wasn't a smooth ride. I wasn't hospitalized again but had a psychosis on 2 other occasions. Last year I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder. A rare condition that has elements of both Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar Disorder. I continue to take medication.

But my story is not so bleak. I had awakenings, as well. Positive ones. Eight of them. Some into the nature of love, wisdom and time. After over 10 years of mental, conscious and mystical experiences I have a unique insight into some of the darkest experiences it is possible to endure as a human being and into some of the most blissful. I had it all along the spectrum :)

This is the first time I am sharing these details to anyone other than my therapists, doctors, social workers, coaches and mentors.

Thanks for reading ? It means a lot!

Greg

@Eternal Unity have you seen gore stuff , evil feeling ,rape , torture , cannibalism, basically nasty shit on shrooms or other psychedelic high dose trips ???? because I've experienced them on 15g magic mushrooms trip , the sad part was I did those things to my family .... It kept on forever .. I lost my shit it was eternity, I'm glad I didn't end up in psychic hospital! 

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