Deconstructing the "visceral, honest-to-God" sense of self.

[Corpus]

I wonder if I could share a solid insight I have had, pertaining to that "undeniable" sense of being a person inside of ones head, and its genesis. Before attempting to convey this, it must be stated that to investigate a matter it can be useful to recognise the foundational assumptions one has in place and to consciously regard them as provisional, and a launch-pad for the investigative process.

I am sure that many in the early part of the work will have encountered the "VHtG" sense I refer to, and the abbreviation can be deduced from viewing the title of this post.  Those further in the work will know this to be illusory, and yet stating it thus is of little help (apart from perhaps engendering tension and frustration- both worthy of investigation in their own right) to those who are confronted by what appears to be, and feels like, a "thing". Being able to inspect its genesis and components I hope will be of use to somebody.

Let us start with the assumption that we are inside our brains, behind the eyes, peering out onto a world of objects which presents a changing vista within which we as separate individuals have to interact to survive, get our needs met and generally pass time until we die. This external world is the one that we (according to the assumption) perceive by virtue of our perceptive organs, and apply analysis to, to construct a meaningful narrative which becomes our story, and the story of reality. This narrative is largely composed of the inner dialogue (the thoughts) which overlies our feelings which (as per the assumption) also resides in our brains/minds, and have as part of their input the somatic neural afferent impulses which are sent up the spinal cord and into the brain.   

When we are in the process of day-dreaming, resurrecting our memories or imagining future outcomes/scenarios, the "inner-minds' eye" produces visual imagery which when really considered deeply is nothing but a facsimile of what has been perceived (as per the assumption- for now) previously, accurate enough to fly under the radar of true scrutiny, and held to be an accurate representation/projection. Yet beyond this, the facsimile is remarkably creative in that it has ingredients imposed as inherent in the facsimile which are re-presentations of the other sensory perceptions/modalities, which imbue a sound-track, emotional overtone, and if required a kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory or somatic sensory component. In essence, ones inner life, is the creative combining of prior sensory experiences to produce an inner world. You may have never seen a pink elephant but your "mind" can produce the imagery of one, by this creative process.

When we peer out at the world, most will typically have a sense of being behind ones eyes, surveying the scenery of what is presumed to be an external solid world that exists in its own right whether or not we are viewing it. This sense has a true "feel" to it, and this is the "UNDENIABLE" part of it. Whilst being purely conceptual, this concept is "projected inwards" as it were as a facsimile, into the brain/skull (as the assumption maintains) , where it becomes a nidus around which ones feelings and inner dialogue swirl, and the combination of these components is what the VHtG sense is composed of. And to add another layer of veracity to the illusion, which is typically overlooked, is ones inner dialogue is composed of language, a tool which only exists as a communication device between self and other, thereby reinforcing in an underhand but creative fashion the notion that the illusion is real.

A pearl can be created from a grain of sand around which accretions are laid down producing a thing of beauty. Consider the perceptual mimic of peering out from behind ones eyes as akin to the sand, and the self the beautiful pearl that magically embellishes it.

Of course, this work is in many ways a step-wise process of investigation and deconstruction, and this insight is only a single step along the way. For me, this insight has proved very useful and I hope others get something from it.