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Thoughts on « why men cheat » video

148 posts in this topic

I didn't like the mescaline story

@flowboy

On 7/4/2021 at 7:15 AM, flowboy said:

But you are only stuck until the day you decide to not be stuck anymore.

But I like this.

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Everybody knows that a man's loyalty is directly correlated with his options.

No options = faithful man

Options = unfaithful man

 

Easy game ladies. It's very simple. Don't look for complexity where there is not.

Have fun

 

Arc

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@Arcangelo if someone is going to be unfaithful they will go out and look for people to be unfaithful with, it's not just about options. It's about having lack of self control and wanting to fill the void.  Or their relationship is miserable. Plenty of people who have options don't cheat. people who cheat, whether it be male of female do it uncontrolably like an addiction.

if you are a healthy individual, in love with your partner and care about their well being you don't go cheat first chance you get.  But you would have to experience being a healthy individual in a loving relationship in order to understand it, until then you will only resist it.


 

Your future self is watching you right now through memories

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Posted (edited)

@Arcangelo I don't think that's true for all men, it's mostly true for young men, and men who don't care about their relationships very much. I mean, if you really like your girl and you both are honestly communicating about everything you're doing and thinking, cheating won't be a problem 9/10.

As a young man though, it's best to get some experience first, which is what I'm looking to do. Regardless of someone's opinion that it "mAkEs Me UnDeSiRaBlE" in the eyes of women lol. That was pretty cringe

Edited by Peter Miklis

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4 hours ago, flume said:

Here are all the problems I have with the video

  • As a woman, if you’re going down the path of trying to “keep your man loyal”, you’ve already lost imo.

    A woman who knows her worth and has adequate self esteem wouldn’t spend her time worrying about being cheated on. Even less would she compensate by tweaking her appearance and behaviour in any way to prevent that from happening. And a good man wouldn’t want that from her either. You’re actually lowering your “value” (if you will; even though this term is horrible) by being so insecure. She would expect being worthy of love without having to constantly “prove herself” and jerking herself around. And if her man does something they have not agreed on, she’d move on.

    And with this attitude, only good men will make it to your door.
     
  • He cheats on you because you give him bad sex. Or no sex at all.” Damn. So backwards. Good sex is an outcome of openness and trust. Hearing this will close down woman so much more. It actually took me a lot of compassion and deep breathing to get through the video and I can see how it makes woman feel so terrible about themselves.
     
  • Lumping together attraction and relationships like that is really mudding the waters. It’s true that he’s not choosing to get attracted, but he’s choosing what to do with it. A relationship is a commitment to support and grow with each other, which means you have to be in constant communication. If you can't talk to your partner about your desires, what's the point of the relationship? And if you can't control your dick enough to not hurt your girlfriend and do smth you haven't agreed upon, why be with her in the first place?

    It’s also not like cheating is only bad for the woman. It’s bad for men too. If a man doesn’t stand by his words it makes his weak and split. It stifles his integrity, grounding and flow.
     
  • Why can’t we just look at the problem directly? Is something happens in a relationship that isn’t agreed upon, people get hurt. Why hurt people? This can only happen if there's one of those things going on imo:

    Incompatibility
    Trauma
    Low self esteem
    Lack of communication

    It’s not rocket science.

    Work these things out. There are plenty of tools available. But don't put the other sex in charge of fixing your problem.
     
  • Leo has done a great job at making a video that is just feeding into the insecurities women already have without providing them a healthy way out of it. And it kinda makes me angry. Let’s hope my future daughter never sees this video. Stage orange elbow society to the max. Partial af. I’m disappointed this is still on youtube to be honest, I’d expect Leo to take such shit down already.

Maybe you should have titled the video "Why weak men who can’t communicate what they need and don’t know what they want cheat."

TLTR: Work on your self esteem, attraction =/= relationships, men are more than animals, partial video that is counterproductive for women watching it.

Why not make a video that shows women how to develop adequate self esteem and men how to handle their urges responsibly instead?

 

That's one beautiful quality post.

Thank you @flume 


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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Posted (edited)

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

Put a ring on ‘it’ 😇.

Very unwise decision given the failure rate. 

17 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

What I have stated is nothing but the common stance of most forum members on academics, including Leo. 

That does not imply nor suggest that you should engage in anti-intellectualism. Your response to my question was based on anti-intellectualism, which makes this discussion a waste of time for me.

Edited by Harlen Kelly

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Posted (edited)

9 hours ago, flume said:

Here are all the problems I have with the video

  • As a woman, if you’re going down the path of trying to “keep your man loyal”, you’ve already lost imo.

    A woman who knows her worth and has adequate self esteem wouldn’t spend her time worrying about being cheated on. Even less would she compensate by tweaking her appearance and behaviour in any way to prevent that from happening. And a good man wouldn’t want that from her either. You’re actually lowering your “value” (if you will; even though this term is horrible) by being so insecure. She would expect being worthy of love without having to constantly “prove herself” and jerking herself around. And if her man does something they have not agreed on, she’d move on.

    And with this attitude, only good men will make it to your door.
     
  • He cheats on you because you give him bad sex. Or no sex at all.” Damn. So backwards. Good sex is an outcome of openness and trust. Hearing this will close down woman so much more. It actually took me a lot of compassion and deep breathing to get through the video and I can see how it makes woman feel so terrible about themselves.
     
  • Lumping together attraction and relationships like that is really mudding the waters. It’s true that he’s not choosing to get attracted, but he’s choosing what to do with it. A relationship is a commitment to support and grow with each other, which means you have to be in constant communication. If you can't talk to your partner about your desires, what's the point of the relationship? And if you can't control your dick enough to not hurt your girlfriend and do smth you haven't agreed upon, why be with her in the first place?

    It’s also not like cheating is only bad for the woman. It’s bad for men too. If a man doesn’t stand by his words it makes his weak and split. It stifles his integrity, grounding and flow.
     
  • Why can’t we just look at the problem directly? Is something happens in a relationship that isn’t agreed upon, people get hurt. Why hurt people? This can only happen if there's one of those things going on imo:

    Incompatibility
    Trauma
    Low self esteem
    Lack of communication

    It’s not rocket science.

    Work these things out. There are plenty of tools available. But don't put the other sex in charge of fixing your problem.
     
  • Leo has done a great job at making a video that is just feeding into the insecurities women already have without providing them a healthy way out of it. And it kinda makes me angry. Let’s hope my future daughter never sees this video. Stage orange elbow society to the max. Partial af. I’m disappointed this is still on youtube to be honest, I’d expect Leo to take such shit down already.

Maybe you should have titled the video "Why weak men who can’t communicate what they need and don’t know what they want cheat."

TLTR: Work on your self esteem, attraction =/= relationships, men are more than animals, partial video that is counterproductive for women watching it.

Why not make a video that shows women how to develop adequate self esteem and men how to handle their urges responsibly instead?

Optimistic at best. The reality is that if you don't have sex regularly with your male partner, if you don't stay fit, etc... he will with 100% certainty cheat on you or leave you, that's what would happen in reality not in a fantasy, unless he does not have any options or is a doormat. 

A guy with options would not accept such a proposition. If what you want is a weak, unattractive guy, he will definitely put up with that.

Men don't owe you a relationship, it's ludicrous to think otherwise. It's as ludicrous as stating that you owe men sex. An LTR is maintained through mutual effort. 

By the way, you can test this in your life, there is no need for ''I believe'' or mental masturbation. If you are a woman and you are in an LTR, last a couple months without having sex with your male partner and see what happens to your relationship. Relationships in real life are not fairy tales from Disney.

Or you can also add an additional 100 pounds and see how your good perfect prince from Disney behaves towards you. 

Edited by Harlen Kelly

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8 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Optimistic at best. The reality is that if you don't have sex regularly with your male partner, if you don't stay fit, etc... he will with 100% certainty cheat on you or leave you, that's what would happen in reality not in a fantasy, unless he does not have any options or is a doormat. 

A guy with options would not accept such a proposition. If what you want is a weak, unattractive guy, he will definitely put up with that.

Men don't owe you a relationship, it's ludicrous to think otherwise. It's as ludicrous as stating that you owe men sex. An LTR is maintained through mutual effort. 

By the way, you can test this in your life, there is no need for ''I believe'' or mental masturbation. If you are a woman and you are in an LTR, last a couple months without having sex with your male partner and see what happens to your relationship. Relationships in real life are not fairy tales from Disney.

Or you can also add an additional 100 pounds and see how your good perfect prince from Disney behaves towards you. 

Lets cure all of our neurosis. 

I honestly don't really see point of ego boost of "being right".

Who gives a shit. 

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One thing, regarding the general topic of cheating just came up to my mind, that I feel like sharing.

It's that, at the end of the day, every single person on this planet, if put in right circumstances, would cheat. Without exception. Even so called "high integrity" guys and girls. And that's because your willpower is not endless. We are only humans after all. If the temptation is 10x stronger than your current relationship, you'll cheat. This is what I think.

That's why it's useless to even think about your partner cheating, because you'll never be able to eliminate that chance completely. You can only reduce it to minimum. It's much more benefitial to enjoy other's company, than worry about them leaving.

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25 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

One thing, regarding the general topic of cheating just came up to my mind, that I feel like sharing.

It's that, at the end of the day, every single person on this planet, if put in right circumstances, would cheat. Without exception. Even so called "high integrity" guys and girls. And that's because your willpower is not endless. We are only humans after all. If the temptation is 10x stronger than your current relationship, you'll cheat. This is what I think.

That's why it's useless to even think about your partner cheating, because you'll never be able to eliminate that chance completely. You can only reduce it to minimum. It's much more benefitial to enjoy other's company, than worry about them leaving.

That's not true at all lol wtf. 

If you have a quality partner then you won't really be upgrading with whoever you cheat with. There's not a good reason to cheat if you are happy and in a relationship with someone you like.

Random sex is like a step up from masterbation. 

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50 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

There's not a good reason to cheat if you are happy and in a relationship with someone you like.

 

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@Peter Miklis what you are saying is that put in the right circumstances that you would cheat.  Stop projecting your own lack of self control onto the rest of the world. 
 

And if a person who is high conscious is in an unhappy relationship, the smart thing to do would be leaving that relationship. The low conscious thing to do would be going to cheat and adding more toxicity to the mix. 

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@Tangerinedream First of all, you don't know shit about me. So stop talking about projection.

Second of all, you can call it however you want, leaving, cheating, I don't care. The end result is that you're leaving the previous person to move on to the next. The only difference is that one is more painfull than the other, maybe even more cowardly. You're just nitpicking in insignificant details at this point.

You guys are quick to talk about someone else's integrity, but the most honest thing you can do is own your dark side and realize that it's there. From my experience, it's the guys that say "I would never cheat on you" that are first to fucking cheat. So don't tell me shit about cheating. If there was no internal reward of patting yourself on the back how much of a virtuous person you are, I bet you'd cheat in a second.

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Posted (edited)

@Peter Miklis, you made a great point here. 

Nobody has infinite willpower.

Everybody here without exception could do anything if given the right  circumstances. Everybody here would do anything (including so called "cheating" obviously) if given the right circumstances. 

But of course, many people are to closed-minded and to arrogant to admit this.

Edited by Gregory1

If you like music, check out my singing and perhaps give me some feedback:) 

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCrHVr8C4eH7d73qNOsbDa1A

<3

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@Peter Miklis I can see you really want to be right about this. Why do you want it to be the ultimate truth that every person on the planet would do it if given the chance? 
were you in a relationship before and got cheated on or vice versa? 
 

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Posted (edited)

@Tangerinedream I don't think "given the chance" is enough, people are not that weak. More like "given enough pressure and temptation", that would be more accurate.

Like, for example, being in a long distance relationship. There's only a small ammount of people that manage to pull that off. Why do you think that is?

Because, there's always if's and why's in every relationship. I love him/her, but if he/she does *blank*, then I'll leave him/her. I am with this person because *blank*. See what I'm saying?

Edited by Peter Miklis

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@Peter Miklis yes of course.
But the point was if you are in a healthy, loving relationship with lots of communication there’d be no reason to cheat. also many people just don’t have that much focus on sex with other people when they have a happy fulfilling relationship and other things going on like life purpose. 
If you take a unhappy, unfulfilling relationship, and someone without a life purpose then yes then the members of the relationship will no doubt seek pleasure in other ways. 
there is many ways to look at it. 

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On 7/5/2021 at 4:35 PM, Nahm said:

@Harlen Kelly

It’s infallible. 

Stop trolling Nahm

You are a mod for god sake

On 7/5/2021 at 4:40 PM, Harlen Kelly said:

Optimistic at best. The reality is that if you don't have sex regularly with your male partner, if you don't stay fit, etc... he will with 100% certainty cheat on you or leave you, that's what would happen in reality not in a fantasy, unless he does not have any options or is a doormat. 

A guy with options would not accept such a proposition. If what you want is a weak, unattractive guy, he will definitely put up with that.

Men don't owe you a relationship, it's ludicrous to think otherwise. It's as ludicrous as stating that you owe men sex. An LTR is maintained through mutual effort. 

By the way, you can test this in your life, there is no need for ''I believe'' or mental masturbation. If you are a woman and you are in an LTR, last a couple months without having sex with your male partner and see what happens to your relationship. Relationships in real life are not fairy tales from Disney.

Or you can also add an additional 100 pounds and see how your good perfect prince from Disney behaves towards you. 

I agree 100%

On 7/7/2021 at 2:29 AM, Peter Miklis said:

One thing, regarding the general topic of cheating just came up to my mind, that I feel like sharing.

It's that, at the end of the day, every single person on this planet, if put in right circumstances, would cheat. Without exception. Even so called "high integrity" guys and girls. And that's because your willpower is not endless. We are only humans after all. If the temptation is 10x stronger than your current relationship, you'll cheat. This is what I think.

That's why it's useless to even think about your partner cheating, because you'll never be able to eliminate that chance completely. You can only reduce it to minimum. It's much more benefitial to enjoy other's company, than worry about them leaving.

I agree 100%

 

On 7/7/2021 at 2:57 AM, Raptorsin7 said:

That's not true at all lol wtf. 

If you have a quality partner then you won't really be upgrading with whoever you cheat with. There's not a good reason to cheat if you are happy and in a relationship with someone you like.

Wow the self deception and denial is strong on this one.

Come on Rap. What if Margot Robbie shows up naked in your room. You will not cheat????? Don't kid yourself.

On 7/7/2021 at 4:32 AM, Gregory1 said:

But of course, many people are to closed-minded and to arrogant to admit this.

Yeap

@Tangerinedream  You have seen way too many romantic comedies.

 

hahaha

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