ivankiss

Sex Diary

621 posts in this topic

Warning: Complete Transparency! I go deep into detail here!

 

 

Oh man. I'm so excited to be starting this. I can already smell all the growth and expansion. The idea crossed my mind a few times these past few months.. but I never really felt like jumping into it. Up until tonight.

Buckle up, dear reader. This is my very first entry. The very first chapter of a story that is filled with pleasure, excitement, joy, lust, ecstasy, love. This is my personal and also public sex diary.

Why - you might ask? 

I don't know. It just feels right at this time on my journey. I'm working on quite a few areas in my life. One of those is this. I decided to explore my sexuality more deeply during this period. To learn more about myself, others and the world, through the pleasures of intimacy.

That's what I'm all about here.

 

 

Build-up

She left half an hour ago. I will be referring to her here as 'J'. 

J(28) is a girl I met at my workplace. We started talking here and there a while ago. It was purely platonic. No sexual tension in the air, or anything like that. I was kinda flirting with her a bit, but not fully. I kinda assumed she had a boyfriend. 

That turned out to be a false assumption - as most assumptions are.

One day we talked for quite some time during our lunch break. We kinda went deep fast. Still not a word about sex or anything. Just a nice, open and smooth conversation.

I talked quite a bit more than she did. I could tell she liked that. I was expressing my views on life passionately and she enjoyed the ride. I'd say she's a very good listener. I like how she smiles politely and gently. With a pinch of fear and discomfort in the background.

Anyhow; we now knew we were both single and ready to mingle. So we set a date. It went incredible. We talked on a parking lot until 3AM. 4 hours or so. No sex or anything like that. But a lot more flirting. We basically got to know each-other pretty good and pretty quick. We agreed on all terms and conditions. Neither one of us wanted a relationship. We both have other plans we're working on. And a relationship would be kinda in the way of that. We also both ended a pretty serious relationship not that long ago. We agreed we wanted to enjoy the single life for a while now.

Everything seemed perfect. I found myself the perfect FWB. Someone who's not into BS either and knows what they want. Someone who plays clean. I was pretty damn happy - and I didn't even have sex yet.

And then... a few nights after that first date, it happened. She came over to my place.

 

 

Climax

Holy mother-fucking shit. 

I really want to write about tonight's experience - which was our second sexual intercourse.. but leaving out the first one would be a sin.

Lucky you, dear reader.. You get a peak inside both nights. It's all still very fresh and raw.

First night... She comes over around midnight. She's wearing a short and tight black dress. Just gorgeous. Very hot.

I pour us both a glass of some nice, sweet, white wine and we start talking. Up and down, left and right, in all directions. Touching upon a lot of topics. It was great.

One thing to another; we're on my bed. Just a few days ago I installed some led lights underneath it. The color is red and it's kinda dimmed. A few candles burning on the table. The ambience was hot as fuck.

I offered to give her a full body massage. It's something I enjoy doing. I also finished a course for it a few years ago. So I guess I kinda know what I'm doing. People say I'm a natural.

She instantly fell into a trance. Deep into relaxation. I don't think she was touched like this in a very long time. If ever. 

At first she had her panties on. Not for long though. They were in my way. Soon she was completely naked. Her body covered in massage oil. Combine that with the epic lightning in the room and you got yourself a scene out of some high-end porn movie. And better.

The massage lasted for at least 30 minutes. I know she works hard and a lot. I genuinely wanted her to release some of that tension and relax. I could tell she was very grateful. Also; it's not like I wasn't enjoying the fuck out of it too.

One thing to another and she's returning me the favour with a mind-blowing blowjob. Now I'm in a trance. We both smoked some really good weed before, so yeah... we basically had sex in outer space that night.

It's one thing when a girl is giving you a BJ just because... Almost like out of some sort of obligation. Like, you can tell she can't wait to get over with it... 

And it's another thing when a girl makes love to your dick with her mouth. You can tell she's genuinely into it. That she's truly enjoying it.

My mind was nowhere to be found. My dick hard as a rock. It was alsmost time...

I turned her over and started kissing her beautiful breasts. I mean; they're just incredible. A perfect, full C cup - I'd say. Gorgeous tiny, pink nipples. Her skin is soft and a kinda pale. She's extremely sensitive to my every touch, every kiss. Even my breath on her neck makes her moan, gently.

I kiss my way down to her belly button, circling around it with my tongue. Gripping on her thighs.

That first kiss on her pussy was heaven. For both of us - I imagine. I completely lost myself in the act; following the trail of excitement. It was my mission to make her feel the deepest pleasure possible. To make her forget about her name. And that she's a human on a planet called 'Earth'.

The direction was clear. Straight to The Heavens.

It finally happened. I was about to enter her. But...

There is something I noticed while going down on her and did not mention her just yet. And that is just how freakin' tight she was. I could barely fit in a finger at first. She's a very petite girl, so I was kinda assuming that was the case... but still; I was very surprised. It's safe to say that this is the tightest girl I've been with so far.

It's our first time together, so I'm wearing a condom. 

I entered her as if I was entering a virgin. It totally felt like that. To both of us - I imagine. I was not sure if I could fit the whole thing inside of her... but little by little; I did.

Enter two or so hours of mind-blowing sex, with a 15 minutes long break for a blunt and some breath.

The dynamic was pretty much spot on. She knows how to be submissive. But she also can handle the lead role well. It was a beautiful dance of sexual energy. Our breathing synchronized. Some sweat and some juice. It was beyond amazing. We both came once, but we came as hard as humanly possible.

Both shaking. Both in total disbelief about just how freakin' incredible that was.

We talked some more, cuddled, smoked and watched a bit of some movie. Finally falling asleep around 5AM. We barely slept two hours and then the alarm went off. She had to leave. Had things to do.

I walked her to her car and kissed her goodbye. Straight back to my bed. Still in utter disbelief. We completely fucked our brains out.

 

 

Final thoughts:

It may be hard for you to believe that things got even better the second time she came over... Which was tonight.

But trust me; We reached a new level this time around. We went even higher. We left the Earth even further behind us. It was shorter; but somehow sweeter and even more intense.

More on that in my next post...The Sun is already waking up. It's way past bedtime.

Good night, dear reader.

 

 

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Posted (edited)

😁😁😁 doesn't sound too bad!

Sweet dreams 💫

Edited by WaveInTheOcean

Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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I smile entirely reading every words. Thats goodie stuff! 

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I am a God. I am Infinite Love. 

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Have you tried sex on 15-20 mg 2C-B?

I usually tell my friends they haven't tried sex if they haven't tried it on 2CB. Although weed can do 50% of what 2cb does to your skin.


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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@Manusia Awesome to hear, thanks!

@Zeroguy Rizlu imaš a ličnu kartu nemaš :ph34r:

@WaveInTheOcean Have not tried 2cb yet. I doubt I can get it easily where I'm at currently.

But I had sex on lsd, mdma, etc. So I think I got what you mean xD

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I am a God. I am Infinite Love. 

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1 hour ago, ivankiss said:

@Manusia Awesome to hear, thanks!

@Zeroguy Rizlu imaš a ličnu kartu nemaš :ph34r:

@WaveInTheOcean Have not tried 2cb yet. I doubt I can get it easily where I'm at currently.

But I had sex on lsd, mdma, etc. So I think I got what you mean xD

2cb is even better than candy flipping (sex wise)


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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Warning: Complete Transparency! I go deep into detail here!

 

 

Build up

'J' wanted to come over tonight, again. I had to say 'no'. She slept over last night already. Well... we barely slept, but yeah, she was here. I don't want this to start moving into a weird direction. A relationship - I mean.

Am I worrying about nothing? Or is it for a good reason? You be the judge.

On the second night she came over a bit later. It was almost 1AM. She worked late and she also promised a coworker to give her a ride home.

I open the door for her and give her a hug and a kiss. We head up to my apartment. Again she's rocking a short dress. Looking all hot.

We're both feeling good and excited about the date. Already talking about God knows what. The night is on fire. Both figuratively and literally. The passion in the air is undeniable. Summer is here.

She already feels a bit more at home. A bit more comfortable and relaxed than last time. She moves around my place more freely. 

We talk and talk and it seems like we could go on forever. Again I must emphasize how good of a listener I think she is. I really feel heard when I speak. Not necessarily understood all the time, but heard for sure. She's present. Mindful. She's not elsewhere while she's with me. I really appreciate that. It's a breath of fresh air.

 

 

Climax

We skip the massage this time around. I have no idea what movie we started watching. A few minutes in and she's giving me this slow, super-sensual blowjob. She's got some serious skill. Definitely knows what she's doing.

Meanwhile; I'm smoking a joint and playing with her gorgeous titties and her cute, little round butt. Need I say more? I felt like a fucking King. For a few moments; I kinda struggled to take in all that epicness. To receive all that goodness. It was so damn good it started being too good. To my fragile little ego - of course.

A few more puffs and I lay my head down, melting through the bed and into the deep, endless nothingness. 

She keeps going and going. I feel like I'm falling forever. Never hitting the ground. It's beyond epic. Pure ecstasy.

God knows how long it has been, but I finally open my eyes. She knows I'm back. She stops for a moment and smiles at me. 'Are you enjoying yourself?' - she asks. I smile back at her and put my dick back into her mouth. Sliding it slowly deep into her throat. She's gagging a bit but I keep holding her head down. I was so close to cumming into her throat right there, right then. But I resisted and released her. She liked that a lot. A few tears running down her cute, round cheeks. Her eyes half closed - so seductive. A naughty smile on her face.

There was little to no space for a thought to occur in my mind... But I remember this thought crossing my mind at some point; 'Holy shit! I just got my dick sucked so good I reached infinite bliss. Enlightenment!' Haha! It was ridiculously good.

One very important thing I did not mention 'till now... is her HAIR. Jesus Christ. It's so damn long and so damn thick. Beautiful, brown curls. All the way down to her butt. Great to play around with. 

I wanted to eat her out so bad. Her pussy is so lovely. It is the essence of femininity. It's so delicate. So delicious. A true work of art.

My tongue works its wonders. I speak quite a few languages. I think it's an advantage. Her head is buried deep in the pillow. Her moaning is turning me on like crazy. It's so raw and unfiltered. So real. So primal. So hot. 

I slowly slide my finger into her. Her pussy is gripping me tight. Just unbelievable. How can a girl be this damn tight? I am losing my mind over it. It's incredibly hot to me.

Soon there was room for another finger. I am digging in all directions. Shifting gears. Exploring her divine temple. Then I lock down on her G spot. 'Come, come' motion. My tongue circling her clit. I can hear her chasing the biggest orgasm of her life. Barely having any room left for breathing. Her body showered with adrenaline. 

She does not cum.

I kinda knew she wouldn't. She was chasing too hard. Instead of letting it come to her. It's exactly the same as with Truth-realization. And it's also a pattern I'm used to seeing in girls. Some girls struggle to cum. At least in the very beginning of hooking up with you. No matter what you do, they're always going to be just an inch away from that mind-blowing orgasm. I also struggle with this, from time to time. While the majority of guys cum too fast... I sometimes take forever to cum. 

Anyways; despite her not cumming, she definitely enjoyed the fuck out of the ride. I give her a few seconds to catch her breath and then start pushing my dick into that tiny, little hole. We agreed to ditch the condoms. 

Not gonna lie, that entry hurt a bit. No matter how wet she was and how long I've been fingering her. My dick is just too big to enter her just like that. I definitely cannot just shove myself into her. It's a slow, delicate process. 

I keep pushing slowly, gripping her body tightly. Breathing into her neck. Pulling her hear. Softly whispering in her ear. She's opening up for me. I can feel her muscles relaxing, giving me space. For every centimeter I go deeper; she goes higher and higher. Her eyes roll back and I finally hit the wall. There is no more deeper than this. 

A few moments of stillness. Vibration. And the ride begins. We fall into a rhythm. Lock into a steady tempo. Breathing in and out of each-other. The sound of her juicy little pussy taking my fat dick is too damn hot. It's jerking my mind off. ASMR style.

I turn her around.

Her hair wrapped around my hand and I'm hitting it from behind. There is no way I can do it full force. I'd kill the poor little thing. But goddamnit the girl can take it good. She's a real champ. I pull on her hair harder and now she's up and against my body. I kiss her neck. Both of her titties in my one hand. My other hand playing with her clit. She completely loses it. So much so she starts taking control and pounding back real hard. She turns into a wild animal. Yup, you guessed it. She crossed the line and hurt herself a bit. But she shook it off quickly. Demanding me to fuck her more.

I love fucking her in all positions. But there's something special about her riding me. Jesus fucking Christ. Serious cardio workout. I'm lowkey afraid of us getting a heart attack at times lol. It's just otherworldly.

She's gripping my body tight with her thighs. Her boobs on my chest. She's moaning directly into my ear. Both of my hands on her gorgeous, round butt cheeks. Better yet; both of her butt cheeks in my hands. It just fits perfectly.

I love being in charge in this position. It hits the perfect spot. For both of us. I came like fucking Godzilla. The build up was insane. I pulled out the last split-second and came all over her ass and back. 

...And we're both shaking again. Laughing while trying to catch our breath. It was a laughter out of pure happiness. Pure joy. Pure satisfaction.

She stays like this on top of me for some time. We kiss and cuddle for a while. And then... I look into her eyes and say: 

'We must be careful not to fall in love with each-other...'

She knew right away what I meant.

I mean... This is waaay more than just some casual, empty, meaningless sex. This is hardcore love-making. It took us both by surprise. 

We took a shower, I walked her to her car and then went for a short walk. It was then that I decided to start this diary.

 

 

Final thoughts:

Yes. The third time, which was last night, was even better. True story.

Spoiler alert: She came all over my face. And all over my dick, too.

That's why I needed a break tonight. Funny because not that long ago I was bitching about how I feel like fucking all day, all night. And now I can't do three nights in a row lol.

I guess even the good can get too much. Or worse; lose its magic. I don't want that to happen. Then there's also this whole 'falling in love' thingy. Which I'm not entirely sure what to think about. I don't want to panic. And I also don't want to cut this out. It's amazing. It should not be stopped. Just moderated.

I sure as hell don't want a relationship. She says she doesn't either, but I'm not so sure about that. I think she's falling hard for me. I don't want to hurt her or break her heart. And I don't want to fall in love with her, either. It could happen so easily, unless I, or, we stop it from happening.

I need some time and space now. I don't want to lose control over this situation...

I ditched 'V' earlier today. - Another FWB I had from before. It did not make sense to keep her around now that I'm regularly hooking up with 'J'.

Besides her, there's still 'K'. We rarely hang out, but whenever we do - it's always awesome. Nowhere near as awesome as it is with 'J', but still pretty damn good.

More on all that later.

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Interesting journal, kinda hot tbh aha! Yea there is something remarkable about the experience of great sex. It gives us such a healthy relief we can't get anywhere else, and an opportunity to express ourselves in a way that words and regular language simply can't.

Some of the most amazing sex I've had was earlier in the year with this woman. She was on the mainland Vancouver and I'm on the island, and usually I'm pretty consistent with my standards but it was a new year so I decided to loosen up a bit and give it a chance, glad I did! We talked on the phone for many hours over the course of 2 weeks before meeting. It made sense if a date was going to happen it would be an overnight trip because of the distance. I suggested I'd sleep on the couch and we both said we had no expectations because it's not common to sleep over on the first date. Low and behold there was a lot of tension when we got back to her place, sat down to watch a movie and within a minute got at each other like animals. I never realized just how many times I could cum in a night if I really wanted to bahaha. There was a pretty insane level of lust going on because we built a decent emotional connection before meeting. There is something really exciting when you meet someone who almost exactly matches your sexual experience and drive. Usually preferences don't overlap that well.

Anyways don't want to hijack your thread @ivankiss sorry xD 

I would be strategic about this new girl here. Probably back off so you only see each other once every week or two weeks. I've had those situations before and seen it enough times, someone ALWAYS catches feelings. You've gotta be really reserved, set hard boundaries, and have constant communication about the situation. If you leave any ambiguity, either your mind or hers is going to wander to make something more of out things than either of you want.

Just have fun and enjoy your time with her, but keep it sparse so you don't get in over your head!


"Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long.
A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong.
Devouring the very last invention man would ever need.
But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed.
"

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Posted (edited)

13 minutes ago, Roy said:

Probably back off so you only see each other once every week or two weeks. I've had those situations before and seen it enough times, someone ALWAYS catches feelings. You've gotta be really reserved, set hard boundaries, and have constant communication about the situation. If you leave any ambiguity, either your mind or hers is going to wander to make something more of out things than either of you want.

@Zeroguy you see? This is what I mean!

13 minutes ago, Roy said:

someone ALWAYS catches feelings.

oh really? What a tragedy! Someone catches feeling! Terrible! It mustn´t be allowed, right? Prohibited! Forebidden!

13 minutes ago, Roy said:

You've gotta be really reserved, set hard boundaries,

Yes you´ve gotta! Very important! Lists, manuals, instructions, boundariesm reservations...

@ivankiss I wish justice just one time. That this woman will never show up in you appartment again. So that you learn to appreciate these precious presents from life.

But of course she comes 😕 GD after half an hour massage and kissing and the admiration for her, no woman will be able to resist

Edited by Hulia

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Posted (edited)

" pulled out the last split-second and came all over her ass and back. "

She's not on the pill? 😇

Hot stuff by the way!

Edited by WaveInTheOcean

Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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@Roy Thanks for sharing your experience. Very relatable xD 

Good advice, too. I am well aware of that. Had similar experiences before. Someone always catches feelings, indeed. I think that does not bother me too much. Especially in this case. Not feeling anything around each-other would be a bad sign. Our communication is great and I'm sure we can talk everything out. She's aware of everything, too. She's also mature and reasonable. I think there's not much to worry about. 

I had a nice chat with my friend's girlfriend a few days ago. She said it's all about what we do together. If we leave it at this - meaning; only hooking up at my place - there's little to no chance for a relationship to happen.

So yeah. No dinners. No going on trips. No meeting each-other's friends and family. Pretty much no activity outside of the bedroom. But even then we must be careful. Once a week might not be enough for me (and her) because we're horny as fuck. But every night is not an option, either.

Two or three times a week sounds great to me. I'm pretty sure she'll come over tonight or tomorrow... We'll talk about it.

I totally agree with you. The secret to mind-blowing sex is great communication.

Thanks again!

@Hulia I'd say it's damn obvious I appreciate the fuck out of her and this experience. I'm practically jumping out of my skin with gratitude and excitement. So yeah, you missed that one completely.

I think you're just a bit jelly xD

@WaveInTheOcean She's not on the pill yet, but she's thinking about it. Will see.

No worries tho. I am the master of my dick xD I have deep control over things. I cum exactly when I want to.

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@ivankiss If you have a great sex and great talks why not to have a relationship? If you are ready for a relationship in a year or so she might be not on your side any more. And it´s not that easy to find somebody so perfectly fitting. 

What is the problem with feelings and realtionship?

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13 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Roy Thanks for sharing your experience. Very relatable xD 

Good advice, too. I am well aware of that. Had similar experiences before. Someone always catches feelings, indeed. I think that does not bother me too much. Especially in this case. Not feeling anything around each-other would be a bad sign. Our communication is great and I'm sure we can talk everything out. She's aware of everything, too. She's also mature and reasonable. I think there's not much to worry about. 

I had a nice chat with my friend's girlfriend a few days ago. She said it's all about what we do together. If we leave it at this - meaning; only hooking up at my place - there's little to no chance for a relationship to happen.

So yeah. No dinners. No going on trips. No meeting each-other's friends and family. Pretty much no activity outside of the bedroom. But even then we must be careful. Once a week might not be enough for me (and her) because we're horny as fuck. But every night is not an option, either.

What is there to worry about?

Of course someone will probably catch a bit of feelings, maybe both of you in varying degrees, but isn't that good? Universal lessons in practicing letting go.

Pain isn't a bad thing at all.

Pain can be healing.

Resistance and running away from pain 'is the problem'. 

"If we leave it at this - meaning; only hooking up at my place - there's little to no chance for a relationship to happen."

Take the word 'relationship' alone. "To be in relationship with something."

I have relationships with many things and beings in my life.

My dick, my cup of coffee, my family, my friends, girls, etc.

I'm teasing you now, but I find it rather cute and silly of you to say there's no chance of "a relationship" if you keep it to:

Mindblowing good sex

Mindblowing good deep talks

In your apartment

Why are you lying to yourself? 

What is a relationship even? Who determines what a relationship is?

You talk about "a relationship" like it's some holy thing written by an authority in a legal book.

You determine what you want in your life. 

Feelings are never a problem unless you make them a problem.

You can never hurt anyone, ultimately speaking.

People can only hurt themselves.

By resisting/not letting go.

 

 


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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Next time you go down on her maybe listen to this album called Green 💚 🍏 by Hiroshi Yoshimura.

This song, Creek, is a masterpiece in soundscape/design-making. So delicious.

 


Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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@Hulia There is nothing wrong with a relationship. And even less with feelings. I'm all for that.

It's just not the right timing. As I mentioned; I got out of a long and serious relationship not even a year ago. I also plan on leaving this country within the next year or so. I want to be free and travel the world. That's the mission I'm working on right now. So you see how a relationship would mess with that vision.

@WaveInTheOcean Thanks! I hear you. But I think you know damn well what I mean haha.

Yes, of course this is a form of a relationship already. But it's not a full blown sacred partnership lol. We don't live our lives for the same cause. We're not working together on building our dreams. We don't have a common goal or vision. Nothing outside of my bedroom. Just some great sext and awesome, long, late-night talks.

I only worry because I don't want to end up hurting her. She is such a kind-hearted, gentle soul. So pure. I'd hate to be 'that asshole' in this scenario.

Thankfully; we started all this with radical honesty. Nothing shady going on in the background. No lies. No manipulation. She's well aware of how I feel and think about all this. 

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