fopylo

Shamanic Breathing Journal

7 posts in this topic

Hi, I've just done my first Shamanic Breathing session and want to write about it.

So I've seen Leo's video on this topic not long ago and he bought me into this idea that it can heal my deepest emotional wounds very easily, and very simple. I got excited. However, it doesn't mean I don't expect it to be difficult, scary and overwhelming. But emotional mastery is just so important to me.

Setting:
It was around 22:40
in my room
AC is on (23 degrees)
Parents not home (makes it ideal)

Process:
I laid down on my bed listening to Shamanic Drumming and put a timer for 15 minutes. Spread my arms wide and started doing this deep breathing.
As I was doing it I started feeling electricity flowing through my chin. Soon afterwards I started feeling this same feeling of current flowing in my arms and hands. My hands were feeling stiff and slow. Afterwards I started feeling this current through my neck and cheeks. It's like all my body was buzzing (besides my legs for some reason, probably because they were under the curtain). All along I've been trying to be mindful of my breathing.
Then something quite scary happened. I could barely move my hands, they were like paralyzed. Not only paralyzed but clutching (my left hand was holding the edge of the mattress). At some point I didn't know if what I'm doing is even ok for my body, but I kept going. I know this is not true and I know it has benefits that I must yet to see.

When it was over my timer beeped but I could barely move my hands to turn it off so it was a bit of a struggle lol. Afterwards I was just laying there, trying to adjust my breathing and get the blood flowing again properly. I was laying there for a few minutes until I sat up. I felt (and still feel as I'm writing) slightly light-headed, but not too much.

Conclusion:
First of all, it left me with some questions:
Am I supposed to feel more emotionally free now?
What exactly did it do? Did it work?
Will the effects come unexpectedly later? Will it come in a few minutes? Or when I go to bed?

Yeah so since it was my first time it left me with some open questions. I wonder how valuable it will be for my life. My goal is to master my emotions (and thoughts, come together). For that I've been practicing basic meditation, mindfulness (with labeling) and a bit of journaling. I want to assess this Shamanic Breathing in the future in order to see if it's the real deal or just something small I can do on the side.
After walking a bit, I felt lighter, lighter emotionally speaking. Perhaps it did help let go of some emotional blockages, subconsciously? Who knows.. Not me yet. But I'll figure it out.

Feel free to follow (though it might be boring sometimes) if you want. You can also drop some replies if you want to mention something I said and elaborate/answer/help me understand better. There are no rules but I hope you understand the vibe.

I'll come back with more!

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Update:
As I was walking my dog tonight I felt way more self aware outside. Like I felt more "here", I was very present. And this awareness wasn't focused on one aspect, but rather spread out. So like I was more aware of my body, my sense of self, vision, emotion and thoughts

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Alright, I just finished my second ever Shamanic Breathing.

So the setting was similar as last time: AC on 24 degrees, lying in my bed and it was for 15 minutes (started around 22:30).

So I want to start off by saying that this was a very odd time to do this:

I just finished practicing sprints (and had a shower before I started obviously) but my lungs were still quite exhausted and I felt lightheaded and dizzy, even in the shower I felt I could fall down but was holding onto the wall. Also, unfortunately my mother came in and I was very frustrated and mad. I was worried it will really handicap my session (what if she walks in, what if she hears me). She's generally very ignorant and I don't want to deal with her stupidity, sorry. I was also quite nervous for what if my father comes home and unexpectedly walks in on me, after all I can't see and hear my surroundings.

Anyways, into the session:

I put the timer for 15 minutes and started the YouTube video for Shamanic drumming. Honestly, I felt quite awake this time, didn't feel as intense as the last one. My hands weren't really paralyzed, and I felt like I could move my body with more ease than last time. I checked to see how much time I have left on the timer twice - one time it showed about 7:30 and the second time showed 2:30 (on the first session I didn't check the time once, but maybe because this session I was more nervous and wanted to get it done). Oh, and I've also got a little sleepy so I skipped some breathes without noticing.

But I want to talk about some amazing things I've experienced this time. It basically felt like how it feels after a good "Do Nothing" meditation + more grounded + deeper rest. When I'm listening to the drums I'm getting into a deeper state of surrendering. Man, like I felt almost like a baby. I was letting go and letting myself experience what is true for me to experience (that's how it felt), and connecting to the physical reality around me. But this deep rest, oh yeah. I was looking up at my ceiling (and other objects were in my perception, some more blurry than others) and it was easier to surrender to it, meaning, fully being with it, as if it is the only thing there is (in my perception), so it was easier to be with it. But seriously, the grounding was also very amazing. I felt I'm being  after I opened my eyes, being a baby  lol (well, maybe close to it, feeling-wise). My head felt very clear and refreshed, not needing to repress any thought or feeling. While I was doing it I felt worry at one time because I was worried that my mother might open the door or something. I opened my eyes for this moment and I felt the worry, really, it was actually quite enjoyable, for this moment at least. I allowed myself to feel it, like a little child feeling worry, it feels more normal and not much repression goes on. Ok, you got the point.

I wonder what will happen next to me. Perhaps what I described was a process of things surfing into my awareness like the deep surrendering, letting myself truly worry for a moment, feeling more light and clear - because I let go of some dissonance in my mind.

I really want to do more of that Shamanic Breathing before I start my camp. It brings me into deep states of real calm of mind and strengthens my equanimity. What an asset!

I'll make sure to do it when it's a bit safer and not do it in a dumb setting lol. But imo it was still quite worth it.

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Ok just did my 3rd session, my first 30 minutes Shamanic Breathing session.

This one was quite intense after all.

So the settings are the same as usual, besides it being around 16:45. (Jesus, my hands are trembling while typing this, and my back of the neck is hurting).

Ok I made sure to stay focused and I tried to go as deep as possible (with my focus) "into it".

As I was doing the breaths, it slowly felt like as if I'm going to faint (you know, this light feeling you have), and I was a bit scared of that.

I still pushed forwards.

It got to a point I was feeling like I could die and I tried to relax into it. Now let me clarify this bullshit of "relaxing into" this dying:

At like 2 points I was whining like a little child crying for help (in my head, it showed in my breathing, like I was crying for help almost), and I still continued.

There were maybe like 2-3 times that I had to slow down my breathing because, damn, it was hard for my body a bit but it was mostly because I felt it is hurting my physical hands. But I believe that it was an automatic response of my mind as well because maybe it didn't want me fainting here lol.

At those moments that I experienced like I'm dying - it is like being in fear. Being in fear. For one of the first times in my life I remember what it means to fear. Most of my life I just try to escape fear. Being with this fear is something I've probably experienced as a child more often, thus I recalled  that feeling for like one of the first times in my life.

It is very obvious for me that this death = freedom. It is the ultimate freedom. It really humbled me, and showed me that I have a lot of work. But I'm so damn happy I know what I need to do - To practice surrendering more to death! To die into things! This is how I'm gonna be fearless and build strong confidence and do amazing things in life like I see other people do, to live from my heart!!

Close to the end I believe I got a really tiny glimpse (because it probably involved some thinking) of death. Maybe not, but I was for a moment imagining how it would be if I were dead now (still aware, no fantasies, but I did have some of this 'deathly vibe' to be able to imagine it more clearly). I don't so remember what I experienced though.

If I felt like a child whining crying for help while crumbling into my own breath (dying) while feeling this current in my body -

I must fight the enemy!

I am a warrior on a mission to fight the enemy!

Who am I kidding lmao, as if I didn't know this all this time?? Ever since I was a child I had this intuition that one day I'll fight the ultimate enemy and be free, just that I never really knew what it means. And then I'd be shocked because I'd discover that -

The ultimate enemy is me.

And it will be the hardest battle ever, but it will lead to ultimate freedom - Death.

(By the way I didn't have any visuals or any illusory thing)

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Same settings as last time, besides starting it at around 16:56.

The reason for doing this session (yes, there is a reason) is because on Thursday I'm going camp and I won't be able to do it much there, thus I'm taking my final opportunity, which is why I wanted to make this a good session. Another reason is to "die" a bit so I can be more relaxed and authentic and easy going with my date (we will probably meet tomorrow) and the people at camp.

I didn't eat much today and I thought this will help me to boost concentration and have better effects.

I wasn't more concentrated and I got lost sometimes in thoughts. But I did make sure to always get back to breathing and to focus. I also got tired sometimes because I felt I'm overdoing it.

There were times which were quite overwhelming for my brain to handle. All this oxygen, like I'm gonna faint. I was almost starting to whine and I was moving my body like I'm complaining. Bruh. Like I'm starting to question whether that's normal because I seem to be scared of the fainting rather than the images - and that's precisely because I haven't experienced any visuals yet from Shamanic Breathings.

Until next time. Probably sometime during the camp, if I'll manage to make time for it

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Just finished my 30 minutes Shamanic Session (after letting my body rest a little). Time is 15:40 as finished.

I am on Holiday of Rosh Hashanah. Tomorrow I'm going back to camp, so I thought it's a good opportunity to "kill" myself a bit before I set off again.

I was a bit anxious doing this session since all of my family is at home, but I had to do what I had to do, so I did it, and I didn't think much about it during the session.

This session was pretty relaxed compared to the previous one. I didn't push myself too much. I let it be more natural. Also, I changed the position of my arms like Leo does.

I feel like this was a very smooth session. Didn't even check the timer once.

I again didn't get any hallucinations. I hope this exercise is helping somehow because I can't really tell.

I'll probably still do it when I can.

Until next time

Edited by fopylo

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Did a 30 minute session. I am feeling kinda sick so maybe it wasn't the best time to do it but as I said, I believe it is the best for me if I do a Shamanic Breathing session ever time I come back from camp.

Since I was sick I was caught by surprise by the speed of the breathing required, and the breath work. I didn't slow down (I need to keep with the rythm of the drums), but did breath more shallow (still made sure it reaches the diaphragm).

My focus this time was literally to enjoy this session. I tried to find comfort and good feeling just in the breathing, in the experience. I prefer feeling good rather than chasing an ideal future state in my mind.

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