dflores321

Serious Difficulty Accepting the Brutality of Life

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@dflores321

I have this to some degree. It used to be worse in the past. I would basically try to imagine what the absolute worst thing possible is so that when it happens I will be prepared. My mind was always full of the the most horrendous images. Even when I looked at other people I saw the worst futures for them and imagined them getting hurt too. Not out of malice though, I just programmed myself this way accidentally. The main reason why this started is because I had a very unpleasant and unexpected sudden health meltdown 7 years ago and no one could help me or explain it. I got so scared that I regressed to some super primitive/instinctual mind and I started thinking the world is out to get me so I was unconsciously strategizing survival against its possible attacks. Eventually the health problem resolved, but the thought inertia was still there and I didn't know what it was and so I kept perpetuating it.

First step for dealing with this was to disown these thoughts aka when they appear in my mind I don't try to clear them away or to repress them and I don't identify with them. I think they are mostly inertia from the past that resurfaces from the subconscious and they simply need to fly away and it is the resistance that keeps them from doing so. Transcendental Meditation helped with that, but I suspect that any form of meditation can provide the solution to this.  Another simple approach for dealing with this is to simply realize that you don't have to believe your thoughts. It's very important to allow these thoughts to run their course and go away without judging them or trying to control them. Any attempt to control will actually prevent them from clearing.

Also you need to drop that lottery ticket/probability mindset. Your life is not just what's happening to you but also how you are happening and applying to your life. Probability isn't a real thing, it's just a neurotic thing scientists invented for when they are too lazy to uncover the actual causes of what's going on, probability itself doesn't cause anything anywhere. As a result probabilistic thinking turns people into zombies, obscures reality and creates mediocrity. Also don't be too scared by these so called brutalities. It is true that there are certain great horrors and pains that can occur in the dimension of life but you can recover from anything if you commit to finding the way home. Most people stuck in the worst situations are people who believe that nothing can be done or who have identified with a victim mentality. Not sure why they choose to do that. My heart goes out to them, but essentially brutality isn't the essence of life it's just what happens when we are extremely ignorant. It is my view that as ignorance in society decrease the potential brutality also decreases.

Edited by tatsumaru

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@tatsumaru thanks for your advice, meditation is helping a lot. 

Yes IT cant be controlled away I see, it can only be watched. 


" We all need Samadhi to lean on."

-The Buddha

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Update: Feeling much better. 

Turns out all the stuff I was freaking out about is just thought stories, there is no direct experience in what generated the fears. 

Just a lapse in consciousness ????.


" We all need Samadhi to lean on."

-The Buddha

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6 hours ago, dflores321 said:

Update: Feeling much better. 

Turns out all the stuff I was freaking out about is just thought stories, there is no direct experience in what generated the fears. 

Just a lapse in consciousness ????.

Even if it's really, scary, disturbing, dark, painful, psychotic, psychopathic, troubling, just let it pass freely and do not think you are IT. There's no need to identify with it or think stuff like "What kind of person am I to think bad shit like this". It loses its power when it doesn't have an owner.

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