dflores321

Serious Difficulty Accepting the Brutality of Life

25 posts in this topic

In my spiritual journey, the one thing that hurts most is that theres so much brutality. 

I torture myself by always visualizing possible atrocities that could happen to myself or loved ones, with the hope that I'll become immune to them. 

It's truly heart breaking honestly, that things can get so bad, that people can be so sadistic, its terrifying. 

I honestly dont know if this fact of life can be transcended or if one can be immune to this brutality. 

Like while I'm healthy and happy, someone is being kidnapped and tortured and going through absolute hell, what the fuck. 


" We all need Samadhi to lean on."

-The Buddha

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why you worrying about the world, you are allowing yourself to be distracted and sidetracked, you are paying attention to the news not the nows

stay in your own lane

work unstintingly on realization and then afterwards see how the world looks

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@gettoefl but it can happen to me ?. 


" We all need Samadhi to lean on."

-The Buddha

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Freedom or liberation is available right here and now, it will never be found in 'what ifs', in thinking, in the past or future.

Recognize that it's only thoughts that create your suffering, and tackle the problem head on. Thoughts are never true, so why do you act like they show you some truth? they don't.

Realize who you truly are and treat thoughts as the empty distraction they are.

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11 minutes ago, dflores321 said:

@gettoefl but it can happen to me ?. 

you are the ambassador of the absolute, the absolute is choosing to remain asleep inside you while projecting these worldly affairs and leaving you to run the show

you can speak to the absolute fervently via self inquiry ... who is this here and can we merge back to oneness again please

all is in your hands, looks inwards if you care, look outwards if you want more of the dream

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@dflores321  Allow your heart to break for it.  If that's what you're doing, it means that this is part of your own personal path toward realization.

Life can indeed be brutal, and although it's possible to accept it, that doesn't necessarily make it easy.  My mum was diagnosed with incurable cancer a few weeks ago, which went undetected for a long time because her doctor was negligent.  That cost her 17 weeks of potential treatment, and during that time the cancer spread to her spine, pelvis and liver, and now she's been told she only has around a year left.  On top of this, my uncle (her brother) died unexpectedly at a young age 2 weeks ago, so the family is in mourning.

I've been meditating for around 15 years now, so I'm quite good at remaining present and also accepting such things, however other people in my family don't have the same luxury.  When I see my mum in pain, I feel pain.  When I see my dad cry and fear for the future, I feel pain.

Imo too many in spiritual communities focus too much on the goal of transcending all pain.  I think this is a fantasy, though.  There is something to be transcended for sure, an identification with the pain which becomes all-consuming, but you shouldn't seek to transcend pain completely.  In many situations to feel pain is the most natural response, especially considering that the organism feeling pain (you) is a machine which has evolved over many millions of years to feel such emotions.  Even after you stop identifying with them, that neurochemical activity is still going to be there no matter what.  It's an intrinsic property of your being.

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sending you love @kinesin ... pain can undoubtedly be a purifying agent and can aid in deepening one's selfless love, another path towards realization

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Posted (edited)

@dflores321 i have same fears and thoughs as you. But i believe these horrible thing looks worse than they actually are. when i recall times when i felt pain and suffering honestly i have to admit that it was not that bad as i interpreted it at the moment. Once i had very bad toothache and i managed to meditate and focus on it to degree a can fully accept it. I feel it but i didnt suffer, i was consciouss that the suffering is ilusory. And what it seems to me that when you go through the very bad suffering you will accept it eventualy. There is a mechanism wich switch off the suffering when its unbearable. And when you go through these experiences you have no choise anyway, so you better accept it. Remeber that god want to experience it, he even enjoy it.

Edited by AdamR95

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1 hour ago, dflores321 said:

@gettoefl but it can happen to me ?. 

Are you a 100% sure?  I did the same thing at one point for a long time and ya it will loop and feel real.  I even did this to become immune as well, but it doesn't work.  Until I realized my thinking was flawed in the known.  You see the mind thinks that if its possible, then its possible, but just because its possible does not mean it will or could happen.  So why believe the possibility of "possible" if its not true or provable?  This type of thinking is just philosophical, not actual.

Real mind fuck this one is, but it seemed to bring about a new freedom.....

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@kinesin hope things get better for you/your family. 

@Mu_ so you're saying that I'm assuming possibilities are true? Or that that something can happen? 


" We all need Samadhi to lean on."

-The Buddha

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4 minutes ago, dflores321 said:

@kinesin hope things get better for you/your family. 

@Mu_ so you're saying that I'm assuming possibilities are true? Or that that something can happen? 

Well, are you?  Or do you KNOW with 100% they could happen.  As I said, I saw for myself that just because there's a possibility, doesn't mean it will happen.  For example.  If you can't prove life's determined or not, saying its 50/50 that something could happen isn't accurate.  From the position of not know, you don't know.  But lets say the actual truth is its determined.  This would mean its not 50/50, only what will happen will happen, right, because its determined.  But again, from your perspective, you don't know either way, so saying a possibility could happen because its possible, is just a thought, not actually lining up with Truth.

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@Mu_ I really dont know if it could happen or not happen honestly ?. 

I see on the news and online many atrocities that convinces me it may be possible. 


" We all need Samadhi to lean on."

-The Buddha

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1 hour ago, dflores321 said:

@Mu_ I really dont know if it could happen or not happen honestly ?. 

I see on the news and online many atrocities that convinces me it may be possible. 

I gave up news long ago, its heavily biased towards negative impressions and interpretations of things. So many good people and wholesome events that never get coverage.

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4 hours ago, dflores321 said:

In my spiritual journey, the one thing that hurts most is that theres so much brutality. 

I torture myself by always visualizing possible atrocities that could happen to myself or loved ones, with the hope that I'll become immune to them. 

It's truly heart breaking honestly, that things can get so bad, that people can be so sadistic, its terrifying. 

I honestly dont know if this fact of life can be transcended or if one can be immune to this brutality. 

Like while I'm healthy and happy, someone is being kidnapped and tortured and going through absolute hell, what the fuck. 

No matter how much suffering is endured during an incarnation, it is more than made up for when you dissolve back Infinite Consciousness and Love.  At the end of it all, you will understand that all of your suffering is what you wanted and that it was perfectly good and that everything that happened to you was exactly as it should have been.  Suffering is always limited and finite, but Love is Absolute. 

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7 hours ago, dflores321 said:

I torture myself by always visualizing possible atrocities that could happen to myself or loved ones, with the hope that I'll become immune to them. 

Stop doing that! You are unwittingly programming negative and fear-based images in your mind. This is very unhealthy.

Do not entertain fear-based thoughts. Replace them with love-based thoughts.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Leo Gura what are ways I can do that? 


" We all need Samadhi to lean on."

-The Buddha

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10 minutes ago, dflores321 said:

@Leo Gura what are ways I can do that? 

Don't try to do that.  Replacing one thought with another is like swapping one bucket with a hole in it for another bucket with a hole in it.

Has your suffering ever gotten so great that you find yourself simply staring at something?  I'm talking about after a major crisis such as a highly emotional outburst where you screamed and sobbed, the moment you finally calm down and your breathing becomes still.  You find yourself looking at the texture of a wall or something else.  Maybe you simply feel the sensations within your own body...  your mind has become so ravaged, so utterly exhausted that it simply stops thinking or feeling, and only senses and sensation is left.  The situation forces a state of clarity upon you.

So as for what to do in such a situation when you want to quiet your mind - bring your awareness to your senses.  Observe with your eyes, listen with your ears, feel the textures within reach.  Replace thought and feeling with sensation.

Also, I will say that this entire problem may only be part of a longer journey for you.  It may not even be a 'problem' to be 'fixed', but rather a difficult yet necessary step toward realization.  I used to do exactly the same thing myself, and my mind told me that it was for the same purpose.  I'd picture loved ones dying in awful circumstances, I'd imagine myself left alone afterwards... it got very severe, and many times I suffered to a great extent exactly the way you describe.  You know what happened?  Eventually my mum got diagnosed with incurable cancer and was told she only had a year left, and I was surprised to find myself able to deal with each day with strength and grace.  I now believe that all those times were my brain processing possible negative outcomes in order to prepare for them, and that if I'd stopped that process entirely at the time, maybe I wouldn't be so well prepared mentally right now.

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@dflores321 I actually have the same “problem” where I always think about the worst-case scenario. I have found that learning to accept those possibilities makes me happier. For example, say you are worried about your mother getting raped. Is that really so bad? Your mother would probably recover, if she doesn’t, you can still be happy with a dysfunctional mother. If you can’t, then it is ok to be sad. Always remember this: Everything is perfect no matter what happens.

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@dflores321 to cultivate this type of equanimity: whenever you have a fear based thought, imagine that whatever you are scared of actually happened and tell yourself that that is ok. Everything is ok. This is what I think Leo might mean by replacing fear with love/acceptance. I actually start naturally laughing when I have a fear-based thought, as it is quite funny how much of our suffering is so obviously self-caused.

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