TheAvatarState

How to cope with being God?

16 posts in this topic

This is truly the funniest thing ever. xD

One of the ways that has helped is to tap into humor when things seem overwhelming. Humor can always be found, and it can make it seem lighter with a release of "realness" constraints. It's all a play, like that spiderman meme of spiderman pointing at himself. 

I have had God-realization for at least a couple years now, and it's getting sharper and clearer in the day-to-day. My ego has been running from it, distracting me from it this whole time. But I've known. It's permanent... for the remainder of this incarnation it can't be forgotten. Leo is absolutely right when he says you don't want to know. 

Leo said that one of the hardest things to integrate was the solipsism, or illusion of other selves. And that is where I find myself today. These feelings I have, which come about from greater awareness of Self and how I'm literally constructing reality, are negative. I realize that every show I watch is a reflection of myself. I realize I imagine every person I talk with, and how my "inner world" is reflected in how they treat me. None of these observation or patterns make sense from the old paradigm. Every day I'm just witnessing reality "break" a little more. 

I want to BE BACK in the illusion again. I don't want my mind to figure out how that thing I heard on the radio this morning literally materialized at work. I don't want to see how this show I'm watching for entertainment is literally being constructed in the moment to get me to realize I'm God. I don't want to feel anxious around people and constantly see that they are illusions. The line between "mind" and "reality" has been absolutely eradicated. There never was a line. 

How do I have a relationship with someone anymore? How do I connect with people? Why am I so afraid and uneasy of myself?

Everyone else talks about these realizations as being wonderful and Loving... But I'm miserable. I don't understand why I would put myself here. Why would anyone want to know they're God and watch reality break before their eyes? It's not only traumatic, it defeats the purpose of the whole game! Did I beat the game? I should ride off into the sunset right? But I don't want to do anything. I'm left feeling lonely, horny and afraid. I must have missed a step, right? There's no doubt I'm awake and God conscious, but it's like I'm in a constant dark night of the soul. There's very little love here... It's like I'm cut off from it. 

There's no information about this anywhere. There's no one to ask. I'm just hoping what one of you says will spark something. I can still get inspiration from the outside world even though I'm imagining it all. 


"The greatest illusion of all is the illusion of separation." - Guru Pathik

Sent from my iEgo

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Sounds about right; just hasn't gone full circle yet. God appearing as dualistic, limited-love interactions with others is itself limitless-love. In the end, even God is merely this ultimate infinite liberation appearing as God.

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What practices did you use to get where you are now?

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I understand you, it happens to me similar. But at this point, the only possible way is to go deeper. What do you care if human interactions seem pointless to you? you have the reality to keep you company. that of solipism is idiotic. your depth is such that it is company to spare for all eternity

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3 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

Why would anyone want to know they're God and watch reality break before their eyes? It's not only traumatic, it defeats the purpose of the whole game! Did I beat the game?

Don't overlook the Love, Beauty, and magic.

The game is infinite.

It's literally wonder-full.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@dflores321 "The club of no one" hahaha

@Leo Gura Being God/nothingness for a while has made me appreciate being human with all its suffering so much more. I'm not sure going all the way is right anymore if it means never coming back to this relative game, isn't that what death is for anyway? I guess everyone's path is different. 

@TheAvatarState Loving kindness is so important on this path, God is alone in its infinite love, and as humans we are united in that aloneness. 

There's a narcissistic aloneness that makes you feel alien and separated, and there's a selfless aloneness that is intimately connected with all. When you look at another human being you're looking at a literal manifestation of God, which is much more profound then just a fleshy robotic meat suit I think. 

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I’ve found that using my imagination to focus on new and meaningful possibilities for myself helps me to enjoy the whole God thing. It’s a question to yourself about what you want to make and experience in life knowing that so much is now possible. 


You mistake my Raja Yoga. 

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Posted (edited)

@TheAvatarState Sounds like you are bumping up against identification/resistance to fear and the only way through it is meeting it. Are you connected well to intuition? Seeing the way intuition is guiding you and how thought and feeling identification is resisting to follow intuition helps.

It might look like this:

Intuition: go talk to that person.

Feeling: A contraction in the gut. 

Mind: I dont want to go there. I'll talk to him later. I feel so awkward talking to people. (Fear)

Breaking the identification with mind (fear) will lessen the fear with time.

As a final note I want to say that it's better to start small. Examine how this fear is controlling you and meet it in small ways. It might be as small as walking to the mail box or putting down you phone. 

Hope this helps.

Edited by WelcometoReality

Only the phonies won't end up enlightened.

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Posted (edited)

Quote

I'm left feeling lonely, horny and afraid

I find it funny that you said horny...the Jews believe in an entity called "Lilith" that might actually be some kind of assistant/guide for solipsism. Regardless, seems like a good form of cope. A succubi dream girl you get to spend eternity with :x. In all seriousness though, I encourage you to check out the King James Bible, read it cover to cover. See if it changes your perspective on things.

Edited by pepeking

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@dflores321 thank you 

I know I am not real. What happens is that things in "my mind" materialize everywhere. I don't like it and think it makes existence futile. I'm conscious of how I'm imagining almost everything in this reality. "Synchronicities" are cute. Is this just my ego (which I'm also imagining), interpreting this as negative? I just don't know how to get past it. How will I ever have a genuine conversation with "another self" if I'm just imagining them, and am conscious of how I'm doing it, and how they're just a reflection of me?@Ry4n It can't seem to be reconciled. It doesn't feel genuine. It feels really weird.

@WelcometoReality

I feel like an alien, completely cut off from myself and others. Like I'm just watching shit unfold. I want to feel connected. I want to have genuine interactions with people again. I've been depressed for years and it's not helping at all. How would I practice loving kindness, and how do I get out of my own way. I tend to overanalyze situations and the metaphysics of them. 


"The greatest illusion of all is the illusion of separation." - Guru Pathik

Sent from my iEgo

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Posted (edited)

Assuming it's not your 1st time, try a 2-2.5g mushroom trip alone (or with shaman) playing John Hopkins psychedelic playlist + contemplation to help remember Gratitude, Beauty and Love

Edited by GoobyBooby

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Posted (edited)

Hey bro.

You seem awake in mind (thought) but still asleep in heart (feeling) and body (instinct).

To be truly enlightened you need to be awake in all three aspects of this trinity.

You're probably a type Five, Sex or Seven in enneagram. Study that more.

Your whole post is more or less your ego speaking. You're awake in mind, but the ego is hiding now in your bodily chakras and emotional centers.

Thus the ego speaks from body and heart through your mind.

There is nothing more for your mind to understand.

But there is a lot to understand, transcend, love and become conscious of for your heart and body.

Go live life. Talk to a psychotherapist. Live. Life has to be lived. You cannot eat the menu , or ofc u can, but it tastes miserable yes.

Your heart is longing for true freedom.

Your body is longing for merging with Your True Soul.

Good luck, love you ☯️??

And remember: to truly be able to ascend fully, one first has to descend fully.

Groundedness. You need to get down in your body and feel more ans think less. It can be a problem to be too much in one's head.

Edited by WaveInTheOcean

Can you bite your own teeth?  --  “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.

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2 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

 

@WelcometoReality

I feel like an alien, completely cut off from myself and others. Like I'm just watching shit unfold. I want to feel connected. I want to have genuine interactions with people again. I've been depressed for years and it's not helping at all. How would I practice loving kindness, and how do I get out of my own way. I tend to overanalyze situations and the metaphysics of them. 

I'm not a teacher but I can try to give you some guidance. ?

There might be a part of you who is unwilling to let go of the disconnection and is holding on to the absolute. You can use labeling technique to dissolve that structure. Let go of the place of observing and instead go into the experienced.

As for the loving kindness part put attention to the heart and relax any kind of tensions. Relax and feel the heart. There might be feelings of heartache and emotions that arises. Start perceiving the world through your heart. I know that sounds very weird and abstract but this is how I would explain it. Let all senses in and let them land in your heart.

 


Only the phonies won't end up enlightened.

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23 hours ago, TheAvatarState said:

I feel like an alien, completely cut off from myself and others. Like I'm just watching shit unfold. I want to feel connected. I want to have genuine interactions with people again. I've been depressed for years and it's not helping at all. How would I practice loving kindness, and how do I get out of my own way. I tend to overanalyze situations and the metaphysics of them. 

Hmmm, sounds more like depersonalisation actually. Maybe try taking a break from all this stuff for a while if you're able to, sorry to hear about this. 

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