Tangerinedream

Fear of ageing as a woman

64 posts in this topic

On 12/06/2021 at 1:38 AM, intotheblack said:

@Etherial Cat I’m also In Europe B| what brand did you get? Maybe I can find online.  I did just find some on a pharmacy website but don’t know if it’s any good. 

Airol is what I got in Greece. It has different names everywhere but the formula is kinda the same. In Switzerland, I think I had the usual Retin-A but it got discontinued and hard to get.

On 12/06/2021 at 1:39 AM, Zeroguy said:

So you are not afraid of aging and you accept this process naturally and yet.... gotta love egos.Hahaha

I'm afraid of aging.

But I'm not afraid of aging for low quality men's attention. This I don't give a damn B|. I've got no time for this rubbish when there are non dual Chads hanging around- so sorry!

You're afraid of aging too. All ego are. Aging challenge your self-image, your sense of self, and reminds you of your mortality.


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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3 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Airol is what I got in Greece. It has different names everywhere but the formula is kinda the same. In Switzerland, I think I had the usual Retin-A but it got discontinued and hard to get.

I'm afraid of aging.

But I'm not afraid of aging for low quality men's attention. This I don't give a damn B|. I've got no time for this rubbish when there are non dual Chads hanging around- so sorry!

You're afraid of aging too. All ego are. Aging challenge your self-image, your sense of self, and reminds you of your mortality.

So you still want to keep up with college girls arent't you? 

Why?

I mean if you are interested only in this limiting pool of man you decided to attract and accept.Well sorry honey to burst your bubble even that pool is pretty much the same as one you decided to cut off.

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On 12/06/2021 at 1:58 AM, Zeroguy said:

So you still want to keep up with college girls arent't you? 

Why?

I mean if you are interested only in this limiting pool of man you decided to attract and accept.Well sorry honey to burst your bubble even that pool is pretty much the same as one you decided to cut off.

Being fearful of aging doesn't mean you think of college girls as being your competition. While I find them beautiful, I am still very confortable with my own sex appeal. 

Being a college girl is a state, and it is a state I don't long for. I'm too wise to long for a state, let only for one that presuppose loosing gradually your innocence for maturity.

Also, you've got to understand that I have no shortage of men. I come from an abundance mindset and this is the least of my priority. Each time a man tries to make me feel like I am shit, I tell him bye bye and don't think of him a single second forward. So that's it.


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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16 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

So you still want to keep up with college girls arent't you? 

Why?

I mean if you are interested only in this limiting pool of man you decided to attract and accept.Well sorry honey to burst your bubble even that pool is pretty much the same as one you decided to cut off.

Why are you so determined to try and put women down or put them against eachother over men? Does making these type comments make you feel better ?  
it’s not young vs old. 
 

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On 25/05/2021 at 10:30 AM, Tangerinedream said:

I know this isn’t exactly a serious emotional problem but I didn’t know where else to write it... 

I, like many women no doubt have fear of ageing and looking older.  It’s not about whether or not I can attract people, this is not my fear. 
this is more about how I feel, looking at myself and feeling down, looking tired more easily etc. I have always been self conscious about my appearance and I feel I’m getting worse confidence wise, not better.

How can I change this and be more radiant no matter how many wrinkles I have? 
 

This issue is common with guys and girls equally, it’s not about ageing itself, rather it’s the fear of decay, decay of everything not just your body.

the decay of relationships, careers, property, homes, it’s the fear of losing the old reference points that on some level represented a certain amount of safety.

The way to overcome this is making peace with change, and giving yourself the time and permission to grieve the things that keep on changing even if you wish they didn’t.

Sometimes this can be healed through losing - that’s what happened to me. I lost the relationship of what I though was the love of my life, and through the grieving process, the fear of change and decay started vanishing as I embraced myself as a source of safety and not an outside person or circumstance to inform me of how safe and secure I truly am. 
 

You heal through daring  to commit so deeply and then be willing to lose it all anyway just to be able to experience the fulfilment of your committed focus. 

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On 12/06/2021 at 2:22 AM, Zeroguy said:

@Etherial Cat Still, why you have need to convince yourself in this? 

As years pass... 

I'm not convincing myself of anything. I'm merely stating my experience.

If it offends you, it's not my problem. Your narrative is not mine,


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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Posted (edited)

8 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

@Etherial Cat Still, why you have need to convince yourself in this? 

As years pass... 

Why is this place so misogynistic, I swear to god these comments belong to incel forums.

 

Someone worried about bringing incels in here if Leo makes a content for them. No worries they’re here already lulz.

 @Tangerinedream thanks for calling him out.

edit: I apologise for the incel comment apparently the incel community is way way way worse, my bad an analogy that is uncalled for. 

Edited by MatteO22

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50 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

So you are not afraid of aging and you accept this process naturally and yet.... gotta love egos.Hahaha

You mean your ego that’s posing as superior by pretending to understand everyone and keeps putting them down to keep itself going in some sort of messed up abuse cycle ?

 

Yah... gotta love that ego. 

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On 12/06/2021 at 2:26 AM, MatteO22 said:

Why is this place so misogynistic, I swear to god these comments belong to incel forums.

 

Someone worried about bringing incels in here if Leo makes a content for them. No worries they’re here already lulz.

 @Tangerinedream thanks for calling him out. 

Some men are feeling so weak that they need to diminish women to feel strong.

Nothing new under the sun. As I said many times before, these are no catch. :|


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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@MatteO22 I know. Was hoping my post wouldn’t attract misogynistic comments, which is mostly why I shared my thoughts in this section. 

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Posted (edited)

7 hours ago, Tangerinedream said:

@MatteO22 I know. Was hoping my post wouldn’t attract misogynistic comments, which is mostly why I shared my thoughts in this section. 

SMH, so sorry for your experience, I apologise for the male gender doing this shit over here and over there, and oh god fucking everywhere ???

 

edit: I apologise for the incel comment apparently the incel community is way way way worse, my bad an analogy that is uncalled for. 

Edited by MatteO22

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The long-term solution for the fear of aging for both men and women is to ground their sense of self on the entirety of reality instead of deriving it from their appearance. 

Also, the belief of determining your value based on how attractive you are to the opposite sex has to be observed and recognized as falsehood. 

 

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2 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

The long-term solution for the fear of aging for both men and women is to ground their sense of self on the entirety of reality instead of deriving it from their appearance. 

Also, the belief of determining your value based on how attractive you are to the opposite sex has to be observed and recognized as falsehood. 

 

Yes. But there has even been whole threads on this forum before about how women loose value as they age, yada yada yada. 

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Posted (edited)

@Tangerinedream

From a relative point to view, it's empirically correct to say that most hetero man are mainly attracted to beautiful, attractive women. That is an observable, provable statement. 

If you as a woman define your sense of self ( which you should not ) from how attractive you are to men, then you will inevitably have insecurity issues because both man and women deteriorate exponentially and lose their physical attractiveness as they grow older until they eventually die, all forms eventually collapse.

The ''value'' you are referring to is not part of reality, you can directly intuit how ''value'' is merely a figment of your imagination. If you understand this and you ground your sense of self on reality instead of your finite appearance, your fear of aging will dissolve. 

Edited by Harlen Kelly

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Posted (edited)

On 5/25/2021 at 3:30 AM, Tangerinedream said:

this is more about how I feel, looking at myself and feeling down, looking tired more easily etc. I have always been self conscious about my appearance and I feel I’m getting worse confidence wise, not better.

How can I change this and be more radiant no matter how many wrinkles I have? 

I have a similar feeling as well. For me, looking older isn't so much about losing attractiveness. I've seen plenty of older women and men who look amazing because of their age rather than despite it. I guess part of it has to do with me having older parents and living around older people my whole life so there is a sense of appreciation I have for the beauty of the aging process because of that sense of familiarity. I've started having a few grey hairs since I was 18 or so (it's genetic, some people in my family grey earlier and I guess I got that gene lol) and I always thought silvery strands looked absolutely beautiful. 

My thing is about looking tired and done with life. It isn't about attractiveness, it's about losing that sense of vitality and drifting into decay. I guess part of it also has to do with the fear of death. I know that on the days that I look tired (usually because of a lack of sleep), even when I physically feel fine, I feel this drag on my psyche. I know that on the days that I look energized (usually because of me taking the time to do my makeup), even when I feel stressed or tired, there is a part of me that feels more energized and ready to take on the day. Inevitably as I get older, I'm probably going to look a little more worn out by default, I just don't want to feel worn out everyday until I die lol. I also really like having an active life whether it is me being able to independently do things or me doing physically rigorous activities like working out or playing sports. And knowing that it's probably not going to be forever is disappointing but it makes me appreciate my ability to do things in the now much more.

I guess I don't have much of a fear of aging as I have a concern. I know I can mitigate this to a certain extent. I can choose to take care of my body through diet and exercise which then can help me pursue activities I like for longer. I can choose to emotionally be in a happier place which can bring back that sense of vitality. I've noticed that the spark that people have in their eyes can make a person look more youthful and energetic even when their body and features might say otherwise. I have met people in their 20s and 30s who look completely done with life because of their emotional state and I have met 70 year olds who look like they are ready to take on the world and explore different aspects of life. 

Then there is the thing around success. There is something that is presented as sexier in society and media about becoming successful when you're young rather than becoming successful when you're older. Being successful when you're young has this connotation of beating everyone and achieving things earlier than the people around you because you didn't make the same mistakes as they did and instead got a fast track to your goals. It has this perceived sense of efficiency and talent and seeming like you got successful quick is appealing especially in a society that tends to prefer instant gratification. I think social media makes things worse because you have young people flaunting their wealth and success and even if people know that those people are the anomaly, it normalizes being a millionaire before 25 in your subconscious mind and little reptile brain. It adds on to the fetishization of youth and I know a lot of young people who feel like they are losing out on their youth for whatever reason (extra responsibilities, working hard at work, mental health difficulties, strict families etc) and there is this feeling of how your teens and 20s are the only time you have to have fun and also achieve big things. There is a part of me that feels so behind even though I know that I have so much life ahead of me still. And often times I find comfort in seeing people who are older achieve things later on in life because it makes me feel like I still have time to get my shit together and turn things around. It alleviates some of the pressure. Sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time despite being so young. Part of me doesn't even feel young. I have a fear of wasting my precious life on doing stupid shit. 

The only time men come into the picture for me isn't so much about aging. If anything, getting older is something I look forward to when it comes to dating. I look older than my peers. It mainly has to do with the way my body has developed and  because of the way that I dress. I can't wear I guess more youthful styles without looking too provocative so I've always had a push from myself, my family, and society as a whole to not dress a certain way because I just don't want to deal with the people staring (that's a whole nother topic though).

I don't like looking older because I rarely attract guys my age. I've been getting approached by men in their late 20s and early 30s since I was 15. Ands words can't express how blessed I feel that I haven't had a run in with a predator yet because as soon as men find out that I'm too young for them, the leave me tf alone. The whole situation is uncomfortable and intimidating, not because they are creepy, but because you feel the clear power dynamic. That uncomfortable feeling/ intimidation factor isn't as bad now because I'm not an awkward 15 year old anymore, but it is still annoying. 

As for skincare, I kind of see it similar to working out. You don't have to have a fear of aging to get into anti-aging skincare in the same way you don't have to have body image issues or have a fear of getting fat to start working out. In my opinion, it's often a way to take care of yourself and relax. It doesn't have always be about a fear or insecurity. 

Edited by soos_mite_ah

Speaking into the void that sometimes answers back 

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40 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

You mean your ego that’s posing as superior by pretending to understand everyone and keeps putting them down to keep itself going in some sort of messed up abuse cycle ?

 

Yah... gotta love that ego. 

You got me.

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@MatteO22 My point is just next .Enjoy life and everything it brings ,not dwell to much in this kind of talk.

She will bite her tongue once "chad" gets interested in her or one of those guys "she don't want " but fulfill her other egoic needs and wants.

I don't trust this talk one bit.

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On 6/12/2021 at 2:37 AM, Harlen Kelly said:

The long-term solution for the fear of aging for both men and women is to ground their sense of self on the entirety of reality instead of deriving it from their appearance. 

Also, the belief of determining your value based on how attractive you are to the opposite sex has to be observed and recognized as falsehood. 

 

I get what you are saying. But I don't know how to integrate this. As a good-looking person myself I can clearly see I idetify a lot with how I look and how I am percieved by others. What would be the best route to get rid of this mind-indentification?

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