King Merk

I’m Done With Actualized.org

48 posts in this topic

On 25/05/2021 at 4:43 AM, King Merk said:

I’m done.

Done with spirituality.

Done with mysticism.

Done with enlightenment pursuits.

Done with Leo Gura, Robert Spira, Dennis McKenna, Sadhguru, Frank Yang, Peter Ralston, Mooji, Osho, Shinzen Young, Alan Watts, Ken Wilber and the rest of them.

Let me explain myself...

I first came across Actualized.org about six or seven years ago when I was first getting into meditation.

I remember how triggering the videos always were but something kept me coming back.

Since then I’ve religiously watched every single video Leo has released on YouTube (and many from the blog).

I’ve been addicted to spiritual work... I’ve been meditating, contemplating, journaling, doing psychedelics, fasting and reading any spiritual text I could get my hands on.

My sole purpose in life has been the “elevation of consciousness”.

While this pursuit has benefitted my life tremendously, it’s time for me to drop it....

For now.

You see, I’m out of balance in my development.

I’ve put such an emphasis on spirituality that I ignored my root system.

My hierarchy of needs looks like swiss cheese and instead of addressing that I’ve tried to transcend it.

And now I’m bashing my head against a glass ceiling.

My spiritual growth is being hindred by my lack of fundamental development in life.

Who the fuck do I think I am to pursue enlightenment when I can hardly even pay my rent?

So goodbye Leo and hello Tony Robins.

It’s back to the basics for me.

I’m 25 years old and I’ve got the rest of my life to pursue spirituality.

From today on I commit to spending the next 5 years or so focusing on my relationships, financial status, life purpose, emotional mastery and physical health.

This is something I’ve know intuitively that I needed to do for a while now but the pursuit of realizing God was just so god damn exciting that I couldn’t resist.

I’ve been addicted to the spiritual high but it’s time to come back down and set my root system deep into the ground.


I share this because I see many other on this forum who appear to be in a similar situation. Which perhaps thats simply my projection but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say Leo’s teaching are above most of our heads.

It’s time for me to come back down and perhaps it is for you as well.

Here’s to working on the basics, the wisest and most conscious thing I’m capable of doing right now.


Thank you for entertaining my lament. 

great choice, I myself need some balancing. As the addict type I go way too deep and radical into these things. 


Absolute Law of Love reveals Infinite Source that Welcomes Every Life as Light

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


The traditional religions actually make a lot of sense.  You can pray to Allah 5 times a day and still have plenty of time to build your life.   The unfortunate alternative is to confuse left brain activity stimulated by endless reading with spirituality.   
 


Vincit omnia Veritas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is a little thing, once you drop your self presently, go into spirituality, get enlightened, become god, then what? Here's the thing, then you have to deconstruct being god and guess what you'll realize... full circle back... you're you again. That's what i've found pointless about these pursuits. Unfortunately, i can't escape it bc it's just who i am and my thoughts, but i've realized i am exactly where i need to be. Go with the flow of the present moment, that's the best you've got. Your experience is yours, and circling back to your experience, it's forever yours. How many times do you want to be "enlightened"? You shouldn't be forcing yourself to be something you know you're not, and from reading what you wrote, i think you're realizing that... the game needs you to be you, there is no escaping that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@King Merk you are very wise for your young age.

I also was addicted to spirituality. Some other parts in my life suffered from this...but now it pays off a little bit.

But always get basic first. You are young!! Be grateful to discover spirituality so early in your life. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@King Merk As a peer, I can very relate to your situation here .   and just like you, I come to realize how important it is to work on the basis.  Everything would be fine and better  after our hard work on the basis.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@King Merk that is actually part of the part. Getting your life handled is actually laying the foundation of becoming a stable person with a more stable mind. So you're still on the path :) Those that pursue what they honestly want, without lying to themselves about that, is the path of truth believe it or not. It takes much more honesty and truthfulness to say "I don't want truth" when you genuinely don't than if you just stay on the path because you think you should because of ___ (insert whatever logic you were told and came up with). There's a saying in the Gita that says something along the lines of... 'he who renounces the world in name and action while still having a secret craving for it is a hypocrite'. Doesn't sound like you're deviating :) Getting your shit together is spiritual development. What that means and how that shows up for people in practical terms is different for so many. All of this cultivates a mind that is more at peace and has the capacity and bandwidth to turn inwards. Godspeed! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@King Merk yes absolutely. I agree with you, and me too. I need to get the basis addressed. even though I am God. I need to resolve the most fundamental. I will be back to Leo teachings after decade.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now