somegirl

Ex is willing to give up sex to get back together

69 posts in this topic

23 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

The guy is simply needy, codependent and a doormat.

There's nothing wrong with being that, we all go through that stuff 

7 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

The solution is to embody the qualities that women find most attractive (confidence, passion, groundedness, charisma, etc.) and she will most likely be the one initiating sex.

Part of doing that is owning the opposite side. Transcending is best done through self love not through self denial 

 

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@Jacob Morres Becoming confident, passionate, grounded, charismatic, etc.. is not ''self denial''. That is some incoherent mental gymnastics you just made. 

''There's nothing wrong with being that, we all go through that stuff''

In the absolute sense, there is nothing wrong with anything for that matter. In the relative sense, that behavioral pattern will create unnecessary suffering, therefore, there is definitely a lot wrong with that. 

 

 

Edited by Harlen Kelly

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@Harlen Kelly I'm not talking about absolute sense , I'm talking about relative.. my impression of what you said was that certain characteristics are bad and "less"

The way I see it currently is they don't make you less for having those traits, as they are wounds that we inherited 

So my preferred way of integration is through love and acceptance of those negative traits and seeing its humanity 

As opposed to demonizing certain traits in favor of other traits. Because this can lead to self-hate, denial and shadow aspects 

I agree there are negative consequences to certain behaviors, but theres a distinction when you judge those parts. 

I may be missing something tho and apologies if I came off too ranty

Edited by Jacob Morres

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11 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Opo The solution is to embody the qualities that women find most attractive (confidence, passion, groundedness, charisma, etc.) 

So basically go jack off to porn because almost no one who is in that position will go with this path. 

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@Opo What do you mean? Do you think only superhumans are confident, charismatic, grounded and have options with the opposite sex? 

Edited by Harlen Kelly

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14 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Opo What do you mean? 

Your solution doesn't work with these types of people. 

On 24/05/2021 at 5:33 PM, Harlen Kelly said:

@StarStruck The fact that it is mainstream, does not mean it's not pathetic. Such a relationship is bad for the kids. 

 

Edited by Opo

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I was that guy.

STAY AWAY should be written all over the forehead with a fat, red marker.

 

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@somegirl  Form my POV he has an incredible scarcity mindset. Always remember: going back with your ex is like re-heating McDonald's french fries in the microwave, is not the same...

@intotheblack Great signature

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On 5/24/2021 at 6:15 AM, somegirl said:

"And then maybe things would eventually change", he said.

OFC he said that.

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I really don't know how you guys can determine by this post, that he is pathetic or a snake or alike..

Maybe you guys should stop leaning towards leo so much.

 

Edited by Windappreciator

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@Windappreciator What would you do if your partner told you there will be no sex in the relationship? Would you accept that preposition or would you look for another partner?

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10 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Windappreciator What would you do if your partner told you there will be no sex in the relationship? Would you accept that preposition or would you look for another partner?

That depends on the partner.

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3 hours ago, karkaore said:

I was that guy.

STAY AWAY should be written all over the forehead with a fat, red marker.

Appreciate the honesty there.

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If he's ok with no sex then he should be ok with just being friends. 

I wonder if he could slither his way out of this. 

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@Windappreciator And you don't think accepting that preposition is what a weak, pathetic, codependent guy would do or do you think a guy with options would accept that?

Edited by Harlen Kelly

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14 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Windappreciator And you don't think accepting that preposition is what a weak, pathetic, codependent guy would do or do you think a guy with options would accept that?

Maybe you guys have too much "stage orange" ideas of relationships.

This seems to be a theme in the forum.

You can sacrifice for someone despite having other options, that's a totally realistic thing.

I am not saying otherwise can't be true either, but I wonder how you determine that from this thread?

Edited by Windappreciator

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@Windappreciator Or maybe, just maybe, you are defending codependent, pathetic behavior because you yourself are codependent. 

There is nothing conscious or sophisticated about being codependent. That is not ''spiritual''. 

Being codependent is the lowest common denominator. 

 

Edited by Harlen Kelly

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@Harlen Kelly

I am not sure how you conclude codependency here, maybe it's actually you and you're just too toxic or too fearful? That unconventional forms of love is some sort of weakness, because you fear being misused yourself?

Edited by Windappreciator

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