Once again, handling grief twice.

[Danioover9000]

   I just got news yesterday that on May 6, 2021,Kentaro Miura, author of the manga Berserk passed away, at age 54, from acute aortic dissection. I've shared a post about his work on the mastery thread on his ability to draw detailed panels in the manga, and that they were beautiful. His work has mostly inspired other fantasy works and other main characters with giant swords like Cloud from FF7. I have some talent with drawing and story creating, and I've studied his work sometimes along with other mediums to both inspire and to train in how I draw using pencil and pen. I think in Leo's video on talking about the advanced teachings of god realization, he used Dark Souls as one of many examples in explaining why god would limit itself to living in a finite world, and that players loved it not because it's possible to use cheat codes, have unlimited health, but it's because it's challenging and easy to fail. Well, in the holistic perspective, That game was largely inspired by the lore and world of Berserk, which is another example for me how things are interconnected. May he rest in peace.

   I'm also a bit of a fan of boxing, and if news of one of my artists I've red and studied his art style from passed away wasn't enough, one of the boxers I liked for his ability to fight ambidextrous, both south paw and orthodox stances, Marvelous Marvin Hagler, also passed away on the 13 of May, 2021, from natural causes. He, among other boxers I've observed to learn rhythm and boxing, was what opened the possibility to not only train one side of my body, but the other. May he rest in peace.

   And all of this while I'm also still processing the recent events with the passing of Soonhei, may he rest in peace, I can say for sure that I'm in a dark night of the soul, and any doubts I had in the past about depression, well I'm certain I'm not only depressed, but it's much deeper than before, in part due to the series of loses that I have heard about from both figures I draw some inspiration from, and some motivation to carry on my drawing and exercise routines.

   If you guys have some advice to share, feel free to. I've in the past also shared advice to some users on handling negative thinking/emotions, so now's the time for me to apply them myself, basic advice like sleeping well, journaling, contemplating, meditating and so on . However, any additional advice, even advanced, and support is welcome. I'll also use this thread to vomit out any mental shit I have in my mind, potentially, because I'm in so much shock that I'm anticipating some emotional release at some point.

   2021, overall, just sucks. I think that I'll also take a break from posting stuff on the forum, and limit my time here reading, and spend more time with Crysty and with processing all this negativity. Coming here time to time, though.

   Hope you all are doing ok.

 

[Mu_]

This may sound weird, but just be a little depressed and sad for a while, while taking care of what you need to in your life to survive. Maybe you may even need to tell people you usually hang out with you just need to process some stuff and that you'll see them in a few weeks.   Just a little you time.  Sleep more if you need, be alone more if you need, treat yourself more then you usually would, and cry a lot about those you've lost and the loving memories and appreciation you have of them.  Play music that helps you connect with feelings if that feels good.  Be mad and sad at life and god if necessary.  Be confused if that happens.  Then in a few weeks just check in and see if your ok and if you'd like to get back to how things were before this happened living how ever it was you did before along with any lessons you learned along the way (may happen sooner).

I'd be curious to hear from you in a few weeks and hear how that worked for you.