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Bogdan

My Brain Squirts Acid Insights

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OH! THE SELF ACTUALIZATION JOURNALS SECTION! xD

So this analogy just came to me about how far can one go with meditation alone vs psychedelics.

There are some studies where  some people imagined playing the piano, and some actually played the piano, or something like that. And what they found was that the ones playing in their imagination could learn piano just as well, and made synapses in their brain and  stuff like that. The same goes with practicing anything.

BUT one will never become a world-class pianist by never actually playing the piano. It's like concentration/meditation exercises are just that - EXERCISES, and they cannot substitute MAKING MUSIC, just like piano exercises cannot substitute making music.

Psychedelics are a category of their own, and it's unfair to compare them to things like meditation.

Edited by Bogdan

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Oh, so i get it, here you start a thread and keep on updating it :D

So i renamed this one "My brain squirts out acid", because i very often just sit and have mini-breakthroughs as i call them (while sober), that very much resemble a psychedelic breakthrough, in which you fall into consciousness and other dimensions open up to you, letting insights through to crystalize and take form. 

Or, you could say that i just have exercised the ability to let my imagination loose, whatever. It's all Consciousness. And in my experience, what comes through and is allowed into your relative awareness is dictated by the rigidity/looseness of your belief structures (the looser the better). 

If Leo's "superpower", as he described it, is his radical skepticism, the fact that he started questioning reality since a very young age, my "superpower" would be a sort of attentiveness. Since i was little, i remember observing EVERYTHING very intensely. From the textures of every material, to colors, to the fuzziness behind the eyelids in pitch black darkness. I would frequently be praised on how receptive and attentive to details i was. Pretending like i'm playing mindlessly but actually paying attention to what the adults were talking about was one of my favorite activities/games.

So because of this taking in of everything i came across, my belief structures took things very seriously. I remember my first interactions with girls, from when i was 3-5 years old. I really liked this girl that was taking care of me. She was way older than me, and because i couldn't be with her, my mind took that very seriously, and only now it is starting to calm down with the ranting and extreme negativity towards this subject.

I'm not complaining though, because it is for these reasons that i went from the most materialist atheist to realizing infinity in a matter of just about 2 years since first stumbling onto spirituality. 

Hm, i find this free writing/typing very therapeutic and enjoyable. It's fast enough that i can just let go and my subconscious can get to the surface through these neat little symbols we call letters and language. But i'll keep this type of writing in another thread, and  this thread i will keep then for general insights that randomly come up to me. Cheers!

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I started having really profound awakenings whilst asleep & dreaming (i always had very colorful and vivid dreams). And I want to share a dream i had a few days ago, in which the body basically died, that's the only way i can describe it, and... EVERYTHING that the ego calls "my life" just FELL AWAY! That's the only way i can put it lol xD 

It was like it never existed in the first place, or kinda like how we just forget dreams when we "wake up".

It was like moving on to the next slide in a powerpoint presentation xD. But the visual representation is not important, it was more about the feeling of it and the understanding of what was happening. 

And the "practical" takeaway was to see how the ego reacted.

I had dozens of dreams at this point of some sort of apocalyptic disaster, usually a giant asteroid impact, or a nuclear explosion. In any case, certain imminent death. And in the last few such dreams, i  embraced my death fully, and maintained awareness of God, and i did my best to savor each last second.

These dreams have been truly a gift (from mySelf). I have had low self esteem and confidence all my life. And as i am loosening up my beliefs and questioning reality, i am opening myself to more and more Love, I as God/Reality reflects that back onto myself, making that apparent to the ego self as well. 

 

It's really tricky to talk about such experiences. I just want to make it clear that the main reason i'm writing these things is not to inflate my ego, but to help me/you as (apparent) relative selves to reach/become conscious of my Self as God. The tricky part is that that cannot come completely without the ego needing something which pertains to survival. So there's an exquisite balance that i as God make. (IT'S SOOO BEAUTIFUUUUL xD)

Although i am conscious that God is imagining that "i maintain consciousness of God", even God cannot say that without "i" "doing" the "maintaining" etc. etc. So i thought i just throw that out there :D 

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EVERYTHING IS FUNNY

Example of how my brain squirts acidy insights, and how i contemplate the insights afterwards:

I was peeing, and just after i flushed the toilet It just hit me that if one were to be conscious enough, one would see that everything is infinitely funny. Every seemingly separate "thing" has this infinite humor baked into it, because it's not actually what it appears to be, but it is God pretending to be that thing xD

 

So because God Consciousness has all possible qualities infinitely available at any given moment, EVERYTHING that Consciousness seemingly creates, necessarily has within them ALL possible relative qualities. A cat is not a cat, it is God. The cat has all the infinite attributes of God, It's just that God makes it so that most of those qualities are hidden from view, so that the cat part of it is revealed.

 

Words seemingly come through the body-mind-spirit-whatever complex, so they create duality (AND nonduality, btw). So everything words can say is both true and untrue - this previous statement is both true and untrue - and THIS previous statement is both true and untrue etc. etc. etc. It is equally true AND untrue that everything is infinitely funny, or scary, or infinitely ugly, or beautiful, or more weird stuff, like infinitely red, blue, or any other color, or even things like male, female, gay, or a teapot, or a turtle, or any other thing in existence, because these words aren't actually words, they are God/Consciousnes/Love/Truth/i, which again, has super-imposed over itself, over an infinite amount of dimensions an infinite number of infinities and attributes. And i mean that: infinity has an entire infinite dimension of itself that is ENTIRELY "BLUE"! AND ONE THAT IS ENTIRELY "GAY"! AND EVERY.SINGLE.THING. that you could possibly think of, and MUCH, MUCH MORE! Why? Because infinity is infinite and it can do whatever the fuck it wants xD 

Except being infinity. That one infinity cannot escape. OOPS! EXCEPT IT CAN! - can you see how everything is both true and untrue at the same time?

Even this - "true AND untrue" thing is both true and untrue. Because all dualities must collapse <--- even this is true and untrue <------  and even this is true and untrue!!! Can you see that?

 

Right now i perceive these insights that pop up to be small glimpses into the Psychedelic God Consciousness that Leo talks about. And i can see why psychedelics are kinda mandatory if you want to explore the ful size of infinity. Because while sober these small glimpses, although quite intense at times, are no match for the ego's capacity to reconfigure itself. Of course detoxing heavy metals and having great health an having a very good concentration all help a bit, but i don't think that at this point in human evolution we should expect to be able to just soar off into God Consciousness at will LOL. I think we will definitely not be "human" anymore at that point.

 

-So one of the things that i got the most value out of, and what started these insights to randomly pop up, is simply contemplating infinity - what does infinity imply? 

Things like Everything is Everything - what does that mean? Of course, that means that Absolutely there is only One thing, aka Love - the Essence of God/Consciousness

But Relatively this means all sorts of funny stuff :P And this was an example of how random relative points of view that this body has aquired, that weren't consciously connected to infinity, get connected and add to the accumulation of Love that this body is capable of recieving, which then translates into the way it speaks and thinks and behaves, etc. 

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I was eating and BOOM! the duality between INSIDE and OUTSIDE collapsed. I became conscious of how "outside the body" is actually "inside the body".

It's like the Universe is the most awesome contortionist bending backwards, touching it's head to it's feet and then IT becomes that which is standing upon. It holds itself, it creates itself!

And i saw something else - all this was accompanied by acid-like visuals. That's why i named this post how i did. It's like my mind responds to the insight, and for a moment i sort of zone out and that dreamlike, more fluid consciousness is allowed to surface.

But it only lasts so little while "sober", because it's result is that zoning out. If the ego would let that happen at random, that would be VERY dangerous, lol. Imagine that happening while driving or something.

 

Just to make a thing clear, i do not claim to be a special human with special powers. That's obviously ego... Just in case that needed to be said :PInfinite imagination will do what infinite imagination does xD  

 

The most similar thing to these sudden, short bursts of heightened consciousness is that tiny window just before you fall asleep at night, where consciousness relaxes and becomes more and more dreamy, impossible and random. It's just that while sober, you can actually "catch" the insights and translate them effectively into language.

Plus, you have the visual symbolism to work with, which you can use to bypass the barrier of the conscious mind and integrate the insight right into your subconscious. (that's a thing i'm still researching though)

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