StarStruck

Pickup Express

184 posts in this topic

I approached two seperate girls on my way. Both went really good. One had bf. The other girl I approached with beautiful eyes was single. I got her number and she agreed on coffee. 

The book no more mister nice guy is a game changer. I still have to fully integrate the taught paradigm. 

After reading this book I got a blabber mouth. Pickup really becomes effortless but not perfect. Being an imperfect human is part of being a PUA. When you own your weaknesses it becomes a strength. 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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“Alas! I regret that I am taken from you; and, happy and beloved as I have been, is it not hard to quit you all? But these are not thoughts befitting me; I will endeavor to resign myself cheerfully to death, and will indulge a hope of meeting you in another world.”

– Mary Shelley


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Pickup Express Journal

 

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On last Friday I did a LSD trip to heal my broken heart and do some shadow work:

I used Leo's trauma healing/forgiving video and I feel like I only scratched the surface. I have a lot of forgiving work to do. Especially on my mother and opposite sex.

Having a disintegrated heart and resentment or other dense feelings is really what is holding me back. This ties into psycho-cybernetics. One really brings to the table what you are. If one is broken internally and seeks to find the other to complete oneself, it just doesn't work.

If anything, that girl sidetracking me and leaving me in shambles, showed me how much internal work I have to do. At one hand it just sucks. At the other hand, I'm glad she did it.

RUMI-2-1068x561.jpg


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

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This is so true

Quote

And in accordance to that, what you said here indicates that you're getting high initial interest (girls think you're attractive), but then you don't keep up with the expectations, and so they lose interest. That means there's something that you're saying or doing, or a certain vibe that you're emitting, probably unconsciously, that's repelling them. So to them, you're basically like a cute clickbait that doesn't match the content of your products. And to fix that issue, you probably should stop the clickbaiting and start being more authentic. Reduce your fake PUA confidence and increase your actual confidence by being detached from the outcome.

From my topic:

I discovered what I'm doing wrong. I really have to heal myself with more self-love, integrate disowned parts of myself. Currently girls just bail after a certain moment because they instinctively feel the lack of self-love.

Also I got some flashbacks how I was few years ago. I made tremendous progress. And sometimes I think I need to be perfect but are fuck boys perfect? They aren't. Fuck boys actually have more self love than me (although they are immoral) and they play the survival game to their own benefit.

Cultivating self-love for me means caring more about other people than myself, but that is not self-love. I have to be truthful. I'm just using "love" as a currency to get something from the other. The love that I'm aiming at is actual love of my personal self and be truthful about survival games; which means not using pseudo-love as a currency for survival.

 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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@StarStruck

🙌🙌🙌

I'm mind blown. Congratulation on your healing journey.

I think that once you'll have healed most of your trauma with the Feminine things are going to get much easier for you, regarding dating/pick up.

--

On 13/07/2021 at 6:11 PM, StarStruck said:

I used Leo's trauma healing/forgiving video and I feel like I only scratched the surface. I have a lot of forgiving work to do. Especially on my mother and opposite sex.

Having a disintegrated heart and resentment or other dense feelings is really what is holding me back. This ties into psycho-cybernetics. One really brings to the table what you are. If one is broken internally and seeks to find the other to complete oneself, it just doesn't work.

Yes. This type of stuff is always about our own relationship with the in Feminine/Masculine throughout our formative years and subsequently the adult ones.

11 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I discovered what I'm doing wrong. I really have to heal myself with more self-love, integrate disowned parts of myself. Currently girls just bail after a certain moment because they instinctively feel the lack of self-love.

Also I got some flashbacks how I was few years ago. I made tremendous progress. And sometimes I think I need to be perfect but are fuck boys perfect? They aren't. Fuck boys actually have more self love than me (although they are immoral) and they play the survival game to their own benefit.

Cultivating self-love for me means caring more about other people than myself, but that is not self-love. I have to be truthful. I'm just using "love" as a currency to get something from the other. The love that I'm aiming at is actual love of my personal self and be truthful about survival games; which means not using pseudo-love as a currency for survival.

 

100% on point ;).

--

Since you are living in the Netherlands- you could also investigate on San Pedro/ Ayahuasca for healing since you were already interested in psychadelics. San Pedro can be brewed quite easily and I think it is even legal to consume in this country.

I would also suggest you to read Erich Fromm, the Art of Loving (available as audiobook- even on Youtube), as well as content by Gabor Matè on authenticity vs attachment to get a better grasp at where it might have gone wrong for you.


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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35 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

@StarStruck

🙌🙌🙌

I'm mind blown. Congratulation on your healing journey.

I think that once you'll have healed most of your trauma with the Feminine things are going to get much easier for you, regarding dating/pick up.

--

Yes. This type of stuff is always about our own relationship with the in Feminine/Masculine throughout our formative years and subsequently the adult ones.

100% on point ;).--

I'm doing it for myself really. I still have that toxic side in me that just wants to be a fuckboy (for a while) to get the experience but I'm just too broken to do that. I'm just being honest about it: I'm in no way become an angel. I just got hurt so much by that girl putting me on hold (she is probably going to reject me) that I just want to be a stronger/healthier person for myself.

Quote

Since you are living in the Netherlands- you could also investigate on San Pedro/ Ayahuasca for healing since you were already interested in psychadelics. San Pedro can be brewed quite easily and I think it is even legal to consume in this country.

 

Those ceremonies are expensive and I would kind of find it embarrassing.

Quote

I would also suggest you to read Erich Fromm, the Art of Loving (available as audiobook- even on Youtube), as well as content by Gabor Matè on authenticity vs attachment to get a better grasp at where it might have gone wrong for you.

Thanks.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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43 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I'm doing it for myself really. I still have that toxic side in me that just wants to be a fuckboy (for a while) to get the experience but I'm just too broken to do that. I'm just being honest about it: I'm in no way become an angel. I just got hurt so much by that girl putting me on hold (she is probably going to reject me) that I just want to be a stronger/healthier person for myself.

Yes of course.

44 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Those ceremonies are expensive and I would kind of find it embarrassing.

Okay. No problem :)

Good luck with everything!


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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I told myself to stop approaching but I can't. I got two phone numbers. I think they are solid. 

Now I'm in the park reading a book and girls are trying to get my attention by dancing and waving at me. I don't know what to do. I'm not familiar with approaching three girls. 

Also I get eye contact while previously I wouldn't get any or a lot. The energy that one carries is so important. It is difference between night and day. 


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Posted (edited)

Insights 

  • Girl just admitted she used me for her ego. I was kind of blind of this perspective. I need to develop systems to counter this. Perhaps let her qualify more. Ask she has a bf straight up. 
  • 99% of Girls only give about their own emotions. They are ruthless about their interests. So should I. 
  • I should dive into the experience without interpretation and trust my instincts. I made massive progress by doing this. 
  • My resentment against girls shines through. I noticed this today. 
Edited by StarStruck

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Posted (edited)

 The word of a girl is worth nothing when doing pickup. I can safely say this after having approached hundreds of women. 

Today I saw a girl who's number I got. I told her why she doesn't text me. She told me she would and I'm still waiting. 

Logic = promises = men

Logic =/= girls

Emotions = girls 

Pickup = emotions = male self-love = you get to do whatever you like with her

This is the insight: as a male you can talk the biggest nonsense but enjoy yourself and give her good vibes, and you would make multitudes more chance with her if you are a honest, moral, nice guy that is perfect but is boring and logical. 

Edited by StarStruck

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Pickup Express Journal

 

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I got a phone number of a cute blonde girl called "Brit". There was immediate sexual tension. This is promising but then again .....

I'm not very hopeful. All girls that I fixed bailed on me in the last two weeks. I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'm doing well with picking up phone numbers but not landing any dates. 

I'm kind of chasing girls who's number I got to train my healthy egoism by being a little pushy. I know being pushy doesn't work but it is a mental exercise to become more assertive. I mean: she doesn't want to go on a date, she uses me as a boost for her ego, then what? I will use her for my ego too and exercise leading/pushing and trespassing their personal boundaries. I'm try to push only for 3 times. After that I give up.

I really need to stop pickup but it has become an addiction. If I only had one gf I would completely stop doing pickup for a while but I'm not that far. 

I need to go inward. Develop myself. 


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Pickup Express Journal

 

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Yesterday this happened and it changed me. I become a new person. I feel all the trauma energy left my body. I'm still angry. I'm somebody with a weak ego but after all the pain and suffering a fire sparked in my eyes. 

Let her do the work

I picked up a Romanian girl's phone number. She is meh but it was easy and I just use confidence and let her do the work. 

Acting versus reacting 

Also did some other approaches. A lot of was great.  Confidence does make a difference. Girls just starts reacting off of me. The thing is if she reacts to me I have to stop reacting off of her and start acting from my self. If that makes sense?

Some other insights 

  • Using format with pickup is great but use it as a GPS. Only use format when lost. If you watch your GPS all the time you can't see the road in front of you. And what is in front of you trumps what the GPS shows. Use feelings to lead the conversation. That is such a big point. 
  • Girls really don't react to logic but to emotion. You can be a total idiot but if your vibe is great she will take the latter. Actually try this: just try to act as a total idiot with no brains but... this is important...be fun. Girls will love you for that. What ever you be don't be logical, boring, unemotional, stoic. 

 


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Pickup Express Journal

 

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2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Yesterday this happened and it changed me. I become a new person. I feel all the trauma energy left my body. I'm still angry. I'm somebody with a weak ego but after all the pain and suffering a fire sparked in my eyes. 

What is this non sense?

What you've done is not okay and you should stop being in full denial or taking any type of satisfaction from it.

Taking any type of pride, joy or relief, or having a fire "sparked in your eyes" is the sign of a major dysfunction. 

Stop approaching girls and go talk to your psychologist instead.


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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16 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

What is this non sense?

What you've done is not okay and you should stop being in full denial or taking any type of satisfaction from it.

Taking any type of pride, joy or relief, or having a fire "sparked in your eyes" is the sign of a major dysfunction. 

Stop approaching girls and go talk to your psychologist instead.

I'm developing healthy egoism and reinstating my cosmic karma.  Girls can just feel I'm a bad guy right now and my approaches are going much better. Girls love men who can incite fear and terror. Even Leo says this. We don't make the rules, we are just players. Nothing personal.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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3 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I'm developing healthy egoism and reinstating my cosmic karma.  Girls can just feel I'm a bad guy right now and my approaches are going much better. Girls love men who can incite fear and terror. Even Leo says this. We don't make the rules, we are just players. Nothing personal.

No we don't.

Enjoy making yourself unattractive and dangerous. 

 


Association with the wise is the root cause for obliterating all misery. -  Tripura Rahasya

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, Etherial Cat said:

No we don't.

Enjoy making yourself unattractive and dangerous. 

 

I don't want to become dangerous. I want to have the potential to be dangerous and have selflove. 

Edited by StarStruck

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Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

My beloved girl didn't want me because I wasn't dangerous enough. I didn't have enough self love. I'm sure about this fact more than anything. Especially after today's approach streak with my new found manhood. 

Quickie with a tall brunette 

Just an amazing brunette girl called Jill. Very friendly and sexy. Instant sexual tension because girls can just sense my potential for danger. It is a huge turn on for feminine girls. We talked like 5 minutes but report was good and she immediately started texting me afterwards. I couldn't really dive deep because she had to go for a vaccination and had a time restraint. She agreed for a coffee but I don't know. We will see if she is up to it.  I don't really trust the word of a woman. 

Warrior archetype 

Integrating this archetype was so important for me especially because I'm already a feminine, soft and kind person.  Interlinking my existing feminine with my new found masculinity really did the trick. 

The other day, I got Britt's phone number and she told me she might want to meet up with me mid week. This was a really hot girl. And today's girl is also a very hot but brunette girl. Until now I'm really content with my new attitude. Girls just love me. I have to do less work during approaches. I hope this new found masculinity will also get me more respect from girls. That is the most important. I'm done being treated as a second priority. 

Still very fucked up

I was in love with the girl from the topic "I did something evil". And it still feels awful. Sometimes I think about her and my heart just breaks. She was so much interested in me. I don't know what made her lose interests. Even she couldn't explain it but I know it. I'm going to burn that nice guy syndrome out of me or it will be the end of me. 

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

Since I did that evil thing (see the thread above) I'm KILLING it. I literally got a phone number of a super model looking blonde. Her name is Nadine. 

Integrating the evil side

She lives like 2 hours away but she comes to my city every other month. I was just mesmerized by her but I kept it cool because I integrated my evil side. 

Girls can sense if you have the ability to kill a mother fucker. I never killed a mother fucker but recently I did something bad. I'm almost incited to do more evil. Why? Girls reward evil. That is why. And especially very hot feminine girls do. 

The same way Girls can smell neediness they can smell if you have the potential to be dangerous. You don't need to be dangerous or do illegal stuff. It is about the ability, the potential, to become dangerous. 

Females reward men with killer mindsets  

I walked passed a woman and man. I think the woman said something about me walking to close to her and she said something disrespectful. I turned around and I said you said what? She instantly went silent and looked down. His man besides him didn't even look me into my eyes. She knew I would fuck him up. 

I'm definitely not going to push the envelope and get into fights but I'm definitely open to it. I think it will grow me as a person.  Me as a former nice guy who is capable can grow the most by setting healthy ego boundaries. 

I also almost got in a fight in the grocery shop because I accidentally trespassed a guy. He called me out. I didn't even say anything and look him dead in the eyes. He was trembling and couldn't watch me I the eyes and just walked off. 

Again. One doesn't need to inflict violence. Having the potential for violence to set boundaries is enough. People can sense that off of you. 

Also this is just a phase for me to develop myself. I'm seeing this as mental gymnastics to train my reptilian brain to be a boss instead of being a whimp. 

Read Peter Levine's book on trauma and fight and flight to learn about this topic.

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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So I pulled the Romanian girl home which I met earlier this week. 

It was going to be an ice cream date and then we hung out at my place. 

We smoked some weed and I got in the mood. Started sitting next to her touching her hair and body. She didn't allow me. 

I think I made the mistake of smoking weed again. From weed I can become very silent and weird. There was just no communication after we smoked weed. I got angry at her and just dropped her off. 

Creating the right atmosphere is so key for sex to happen. I didn't feel great because of what happened last week. I could have played the game better but I just didn't feel like putting a lot of effort. 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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So after yesterday (see thread above) which was a failed date, I have more bad news. 

I acquired 3 solid phone number last week and all of them don't want to meet up this weekend. 

These super high flake rates are killing me. I made a topic about this subject a while back and I still haven't solved it. 

Girls seem super excited to meet me and very eager to give their number. They even agree to go on a coffee date but when push comes shove they are not interested. And the excuses are all the same. Almost all girls say the same that it feels scripted. 

  • I'm busy with school or work
  • I have to go to family
  • I'm already fully planned this week

Also some say, next week I might have some time to meet. So I come back one week later and they are busy again. It seems that I don't have a high priority for these girls. 

I met one Ukrainian girl yesterday. She is the last one down my pipe. I hope she wants to meet up. All this talk about abundance. I finally reached abundance in terms of contacts but it doesn't meet shit if 95% of them flake. 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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