StarStruck

Pickup Express

184 posts in this topic

I decided to start a journal on my pickup journey. I started this journey about 5 weeks ago.

With night game I had some experience but with day game I was totally new.

In this 5 weeks I went from being fearful from just saying "hi, what is up?" to having whole conversations.

My approach anxiety decreased considerably but I still do have some. Especially when talking to real hotties (9/10's). Talking to 7/8's is no problem.

 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Yesterday I talked to a nice latin american girl. It was 5 minute talk. Just regular what you do what are your hobbies kind of talk. There was some flirting and interest from her side. I asked her number. She thought about it for 3 seconds and said yes. Today, I called her and it turned out to be a fake number. Wtf.

She either did that on purpose or it was a mistake. Either way, in the past I would get butthurt about such stuff. Nowadays I started to just laugh at these things.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Important insight I had last saturday about women:

On 11-5-2021 at 2:23 PM, StarStruck said:

Recently a really hot single hot blonde slim mom was interested in me. I was confused. Now I understand the situation and I feel kind of insulted but I'm not hurt. I will use these feelings for my self development.

Experimented with being an asshole:

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I did 7 approaches today to experiment with my new attitude. 

Being an asshole doesn't work. Especially if you are uncalibrated. Even girls that hook and qualify stop being interested after being so uncalibrated. 

This is how being an asshole does work: being an asshole 20% of the time + 80% being calibrated. 

Below is a video to see how it works out. This is an interesting pickup prank channel if you speak Russian or Turkish:

If you want to be an asshole it won't work if you are an asshole right from the start. 

You have to first open-hook-vibe and establish good report/comfort and show value. After she has bought in you can display dickish aspects gradually. It is important not to lose the hook point. The more she is interested the more dickish you can become. 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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I need to work on my frame aka inner reality. Being in touch with my own emotions is something I have problems with. Soon I will be posting ways I solved this.

Not having a strong frame can cause to be flaky in the conversation and is it really weird that the girl will be flaky on you?

There are really two components. Have a strong (masculine) energy and having strong/clear intentions/designs.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Building upon yesterday:

In popular culture they talk about "pick me guys/girls". These are people who want to be picked. I definitely carry this energy. I think it has to do with my center of power. My history has conditioned me to give away my power to others. It is very counter intuitive to keep my power within myself so it can become - personalized - power.

I have been doing some grounding exercises while being in interactions. I'm trying to be mindful of where my awareness is: is my awareness within my own body or is my awareness focused on the other person? The regulator of this awareness is fear. The more fearful I'm the more concentrated I'm on the outside world (scanning for dangers); the less fearful I'm the more concentrated on myself (my body).

The regulation of this awareness is a balancing act. Sometimes I'm to grounded in myself and not aware of the surrounding. It can come off as uncalibrated but I don't care. I'm experimenting. What I noticed is that when I put my awareness on my body and just follow my instincts - without interference of the higher brain functions - I notice that I become more animal like. I didn't have the chance to experiment with this enough but women love this masculine raw energy.

Eventually I will have to channel this raw energy into something refined, but fuck that, I think I'm going to experiment with this newfound raw masculine energy. It somewhat feels like being an animal. It is very strange because I'm a dude that is mostly in my head. Just giving no fuck and following these instincts and impulses results in a massive expansion in behavior and ego-boundaries. I'm making mistakes but I'm seeing these mistakes as reference experiences. At this stage of my development I'm giving priority to quantity over quality. Stacking upon reference experiences will give my auto-pilot more data and it will mean it will be more accurate in the future.

Actually that is my current ordeal: being able to trust my (masculine) instincts and impulses and acting upon it.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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What I said the last two post in this thread connects to the thread I made a couple of days ago:

Girls love a guy with grounded personal power (somebody who doesn't seek validation, but is the one who gives validation to others); it is basically power play. In every conversation there is an underlying power dynamic at work, language is a way to express this dynamic. Thus it is stupid to be so obsessed with language. If one focuses on language you are just communicating on the surface level. Most guys only communicate on the surface level and they are not aware of what is happening below the surface. Women are much more socially savvy and they communicate and pick up stuff on a much deeper level. It doesn't mean women understand what is going on, they think on a more gut level and say "I'm not feeling attracted to this guy and I don't know why" while the guy is being super needy.  

I always thought I could study the theory and get good with women. That is really half of the work. The theory part can be borrowed from others. The practice and the so-called muscle memory can only be developed with boots on the ground. Getting good with girls is really about programming the auto-pilot (unconscious brain).

  1. It needs a correct map of the social matrix;
  2. and have the confidence and ability it can navigate the social matrix

 

 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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What I believe is true turns out to become the truth. It is interesting how the brain works.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Good video that connects to what I said above about wielding grounded power and not giving your power away:

Having said that wielding personal power is only an aspect of the whole picture. I have troubles with this part of the picture so I will be focusing on it for the time being. I believe this is a major sticking point with my PUA skills and I can even see my lack of power and the problems it causes in other areas of my life. I made a topic about it here:

 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

My eye contact with girls has changed. I don't know what it is. It is not something I'm doing but a different way of being. I have been working on my solar plexus chakra. I think I look more alive. My eyes are bigger. It is crazy how the mind and body works. 

It is best described at this. When I'm looking at a girl I'm not sucking energy. I'm projecting energy. I'm not reactive. I'm proactive. It is crazy how subtle seduction is. 

When you have this masculine energy that I describe above girls will show submissive signals. I'm starting to look different at communication. There was this realm of communication through being that I'm starting to be more conscious of. 

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

I couldn't do any approaches the last couple of days. It has been rainy. Only option is approaching in the mall but that is kind of weird with the face mask on.

Only did some flirting with the female staff in the supermarket. Usually I would totally freeze when I see a stunner. Now talking to stunners is second nature. My body demands me to talk to them so I do it. To staff or places where I come often I don't use direct game.

I flirted with two female staff to practise my indirect game. Something I don't have a lot of exp with. Indirect is much more difficult than direct. Opening and hooking was flawless.  This is how it went: I spiked a good amount of emotions but for some reason I couldn't capitalize on it. I didn't know what to say. It is hard because I'm used to direct game and in that context I have enough things to say. Unfortunately with this indirect approaches I got in my head very quickly. I don't think I did something wrong. I just don't have the muscle memory with indirect game.

What I noticed that I go into interview mode when I don't know what to say. I need to work on making pushpull statements, observations, teases and just fucking relax so that I can build that mental muscle memory. What I lack is that basic rhythm/vibe in the conversation.

The two girls were very hot. Just amazingly hot. I didn't have any problems with showing and projecting intent. One month ago that was a different story. I would quiver and act very giddy and unattractive. I'm glad I made this progress. The next plateau I need to overcome is having that basic rhythm and vibe in the conversation.

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

Pickup is very comparable to two people playing piano on free style:

Most people have trouble talking random shit to a random girl for 5 minutes. If we use the pianist analogy... If you are a pianist, how can you play a duo with another pianist if you can't even play a random tune for 5 minutes? For a piano piece to be enjoyable there needs to be a tune. My problem is that I have catchy tunes but there are huge gaps within the piece. I need to learn how to play freestyle piano for 5-15 minutes straight without big pauses in them.

  • Pickup is not only about playing a catchy tune, that a girl might like, it is also about matching the other person.
  • Your tune might be a very catchy tune, that you like but you also need to consider if the girl can match your tune in a melodic/harmonic way. If she can't she won't feel comfortable playing a duo with you she will feel out of place and stop playing with you. The two pianist have to play a piano piece that is in harmony for it to be enjoyable. If the piece is not in harmony it will feel very awful to the ear.
  • A good piano play is played from the heart and feelings: if you play the piano mechanically, forget about it! You won't enjoy playing and she won't enjoy playing.
  • With piano playing requisite variety is key; lateral versus vertical
  • Leading requires pro activity. Passivity and waiting for a female to lead is just stupid. Just keep playing different tunes and see which one she likes; she will play along with you if she likes the tune. The more tunes you have up your sleeve the better.
  • Girls expect you to lead the piece, and she will follow. If you can't even play the piano for 5 minutes and be enjoyable to yourself, don't expect her to jump in and do your job for you. If you leave huge silent gaps in your play, forget about it.

My sticking point is the last point. A lot of times I just freeze up and stop playing "piano" and the girl just looks at me and feels uncomfortable. I have seen girls that liked me a lot in the beginning stop liking me or flaking on me. I never got why! Girls will never say in your face "you can't play the piano!". Women are usually good at playing the piano but they are not good in leading. It is my job to lead the play and if I'm fun, she will happily join me and we will get this:

 

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Approached a really cute girl today on my way home. She was very happy to be approached but she had a bf and she had to catch the train so I had to keep it short: I decided to say something witty, it was all or nothing, "do you want a second boyfriend?" while smiling, her body language said yes but her mouth no. I was surprised I was able to say something dickish like this out of nothing. I couldn't capitalize on the situation but I was happy. I was kind of surprised of myself. Last year I was in ashes.. I really did rise out of my ashes.

 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

Another unexpected approach. I went to the supermarket. There was a brunette with beautiful green eyes. She had a face mask on. It was hard to read her signals. I thought she wasn't interested from the nonverbal and verbal signals I was reading. I decided to burn the set down and decided to close within 3 minutes because why not? The store was almost closing; I had to close it.

  • It is the FRAME, not the words. The words are only means to an end and this approach proved it.
  • We only exchanged like 4-5 sentences but a lot of meaning was within those sentences. In a certain way communicating in a subtle/implicit way is better. The few sentences and words you exchange are packed with meaning and the chance to fuck it up is smaller because the more you talk the bigger the chance you can fuck it up; and the less you talk the smaller the chances are you can fuck things up.

The conversation was so silly. I literally talked about a random product. She didn't respond. I saw she was shy so I couldn't judge if she didn't like me or not. There wasn't disengagement though; she smiled shyly so I proceeded with a random transition in the conversation... I randomly asked about what she was doing after work.. She said "Nothing".. I teased with saying "so no parties tonight?" kind of teasing and lowering her value - at this point I really had to cut the conversation because the store was closing: I told her to give her number to me so I could invite her to my friend's party. She had to think about it for 2-3 seconds and she said yes. She wrote her name and phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to me. After this alteration she even didn't look in my eyes. I said "talk to you later" and I left. I really don't get women. Why she didn't look in my eyes?

Previously I thought these girls were above my league but they aren't. Women just operate in a different way. I still don't get them.  Something says to me that she is going to flake but let's see. Fuck these women. I'm doing these pickups for myself and to expand myself. If there is one thing I learned about women: if you don't care about yourself, they won't care about you!

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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There are many variables that contributed to my success. I changed too many to single a variable out. Stopping FAPPING really turned me in a beast though. Now I know that busting one out without putting in the effort to get a girl is no option anymore, I changed. I can´t really put it in words.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Sexy, beautiful and especially feminine women love brutality. Condition: the brutality has to be in a tamed way. Uncontrolled brutality is a turn off but if you can show light hearted genuine brutality she will shake on her legs from excitement. Being a horny dog is much better than being fake and nice to her. I still have this "wankerness" inside me; I will need to take my time to integrate and transcend this part of me.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

I made a shift from word based game to frame based game. I was not even aware I made this switch but it was a gradual process. 

The last girl that gave me her digits gave me the insight. I was able to turn the conversation man to women and it was transrational. It was not explicit. It was implicit language. I used my words to point towards a frame, man to woman, in a span of 2 minutes. 

I discovered that it is very important to keep the lead. The moment you lose it the girl just get confused. I will be training leading my frame. This ties very well with psycho cybernetics: set the intention/frame and let go of micro management. Be instead of do. And if you do only do in broad strokes. 

Being certain of your frame is matter of confidence. If you spoke to hot girls and they liked you, you will carry that reference experience (past frame) with you to the present and the future. So when you talk to another hot girl, you will have multiple frames and more options to navigate the situation. 

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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To build upon my last post about frame. Game is really all about game and the ability to maintain and project it. 

I approached a 9,5 blonde girl in the gym. I had a frame of iron. She was all shy and reserved. She did qualify and id ask me some questions back. I know I had to push through but my calibration was kind of off. She was just rrrr. 

Calibration is key in game. It is really about sensing her vibe in a teakwando way and using her momentum to push your own momentum in your favor to create the desired man to woman frame. 

I'm too polite. Way too polite but I'm still doing better than 90% of the beta males around here. Now I understand how and why the 10% fucks the best females. 

Setting proper frame is comparable to fucking her. Not physically but mentally. You really have to catch her at ground zero and lead her to man to woman.  In day game, the emotional frame of girls is not hyped up like during night game. Catching her at her ground zero is really important and than gradually upping up the emotional pumps.  It is not about the words you pump in her. It is about the emotions you pump in her. 


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Posted (edited)

Frame control nob: informal <> formal

I approach 2 girls I the gym. 

In the gym I usually approach formal. It is not a place to do direct game because the chance of awkwardness is high. 

This is important: when being formal it is important to be congruent. If one is having a friendly casual chat, but one is subcommunicating informal (sexual or needy) things, it is a huge red flag for her. 

It is OK to play with the nob of formal and informal but your body and mind has to be congruent. 

I see formal game as what they call vibing in pickup and I see informal as hooking/attraction/man to women frame in game. 

Direct game: opener > hooking (informal) > vibing (formal/informal) > close

Indirect game: vibing (formal) > hooking (informal) > close

Evaluation: 

  • With the first blonde girl that I talked about. I got stuck in qualification phase. This is the first time I do game in the gym. I don't blame myself but I do have this tendency when girls don't give me a lot to work with. Next time I will just keep going forward instead being stuck. I noticed I disengage from my feelings and start thinking and get in my head during these moments. 
  • The second girl was a cutie in a crop top. Also in the gym. I saw her looking at me couple of times. I got really turned on by her. I did formal opener. We were vibing and suddenly I got really excited about talking to her and my vibe was kind of off. Same thing happened as with the last girl. I just stopped engaging and got in my head. 

I'm not really disappointed about these approaches. It is the first time in the gym and the first time I'm doing Indirect game. I still have to find my way around but I do get annoyed about getting in my head, stop engaging with her. The thing is that in the gym there is no hurry. I can play long game and it is better to take it easy and not take big risks. I will be using a different strategy in the gym than on the street. 

Edited by StarStruck

My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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Today I approached a lady on the street in an indirect way. Started talking about the traffic and bunch of other stuff. She was married. This was my only approach of today and I got kind of down because of it. I have to keep reminding myself it is a numbers game. I'm trying not to judge myself if I don't do 3-5 streaks.

Still it was an interesting approach. I got to practice teasing and frame control. Letting go of control and only controlling frame in broad strokes is kind of difficult. I'm a control freak and this is also my biggest problem. PUA is as much internal as external. Internal I would say is more important since the internal because the external.

The girl who's number I got couple of days ago doesn't pick up my phone calls and answers my text. Why did she gave it to me if she was going to ghost me? These women suck.


My journal on self-actualization, relationships and dating:

Pickup Express Journal

 

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