How to deal with trollish comments?

[Preety_India]

@Mason Riggle yes I know. I always tell that to myself very frequently. 

But publicly it's very hard to control your reaction to someone who is constantly demonizing and denigrating you. 

You either stay silent and let them keep attacking or start a fight with them. Or tell them to leave you alone, which despite telling them millions of times, they still don't leave you alone.. 

They choose a different opportunity to attack you. 

It's like holding a vendetta, almost. 

I had a few users who repeatedly did that, trying to push me to leave the forum. 

Eventually I had to seek help with the moderators but even moderators get tired of complaints. 

Plus you don't want to deal with this whole fuss to begin with. 

Ignoring doesn't work because the person keeps doing it and encouraging others to do the same.. Ignoring only puts a screen on it,  doesnt stop it 

[Mason Riggle]

@Preety_India perhaps remind yourself that you are essentially anonymous here.  I, for one, have no idea who you are in real life.  Someone here could absolutely convince me that you are the worst person they have ever met, ever.. and I could bump in to you tomorrow on the street, and literally have no idea it was you who they were talking about.  Their opinions here hold exactly 0 value for me, and I think that goes for most of the people here. We're smart enough to make our judgments about your character based on what you say.. not on what other say about you. 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[Preety_India]

@Mason Riggle

Yes. That was a helpful response. I appreciate that. 

I'm asking you, what do you suggest I do?

Let's say that someone does the whole trash talking in the future. Should I simply ignore their hateful comment and move on and not respond?

Should I have them on ignore?

Should I fight their comment and be stressed out?

What do you suggest I do?

[Mason Riggle]

@Preety_India I think ignore the hateful comment and move on and do not respond is the best option.  

Not everyone is worthy of your attention. 

[WonderSeeker]

@Preety_India So the issue then is that these "troll-comments" are publicly seen by other forum-goers, meaning your distress comes from the thought of others seeing the trollish comments. Is that accurate? I'm just trying to understand your situation. The more specific you can get, then I think the better you can address this. 

Also, you create your own reactions to these comments, whether you can help it or not. If everybody on this forum received the same comments that you do, then we would all have different reactions, be it disgust, embarrassment, indifference, etc.

You're very intelligent, and assuming you're growing, this problem should be transient. You might still get trolled in the future, but you'll be less moved by it.

1 hour ago, Mason Riggle said:

@Preety_India what other people say about you says more about them than it does about you.   

Good point.

[Shin]

@Preety_India

You're not gonna like this but,

You're attracting them.

Find why and how, then it won't disturbs you anymore.

Edited May 7, 2021 by Shin

[Preety_India]

@WonderSeeker yes the public part definitely upsets me. I mean tell me who doesn't get bothered by public humiliation? 

The thing is this. 

If someone trolled me privately, like a personal message, there is a simple powerful solution. Just block the person. They simply cannot message you their crap even with  the best effort. This side gets handled really well. 

Now the public side. This side cannot be handled well. For the simple reason being there is no block option. You can only ignore but not block. This person continues to write crap about you yet you are only blind to it since you cannot see. You can still click on "show post " and the post will be visible. That's a personal choice, whether you want to see or unsee a post. 

A person like Leo doesn't have to concern himself with this phenomenon , because even if he was being trashed, he will receive massive support and the troll will be thrown out merely by outrage. 

A person like me is just a small member of the forum, a small fish in the pond. 

A person like me won't get any support to fight the tide against me. Which means I will easily get  out competed, in fact if the tide of trolls keeps rising, I'll be left with no option but to simply leave out of feeling of harassment. I mean isn't that what we generally refer to as "cyberbullying. "

On top of everything if you tried to fight too hard and defended yourself a bit too much, people tag you as "playing victim " this makes defending the self even harder. 

If there was a way to block a person publicly ( just the way I do privately ) this wouldn't have been such a big issue because then the person won't be able to mention me. The problem is that ignore option still allows the person to mention me, of course at my displeasure. 

I feel like this forum has similar elements like major social media out there, and like with any social media, there's going to be haters and trolls in abundance, however social media ( example Twitter, Facebook ) does a good job of blocking the trolls publicly, a function that doesn't exist here. I think that this forum needs it as well. How long are you going to be complaining to mods for every troll, till you reach a point where you are tired of complaining?

I wish individual users here didn't need to constantly complain to mods and had enough power themselves  to block someone publicly if they didn't want to talk to that person. This function of giving users the power to block communication with unwanted pesky  users should have existed and incorporated into this forum  long ago at its inception. Would have been really helpful. 

And if someone argued that it will cause splitting of the forum with people constantly blocking each other, wouldn't that be helpful anyway, I mean look at the forum, there is already so much fighting and lack of harmony, introducing a block option might even put a lid on all the hate, discord and lessen some of the antagonism that it creates with people from different perspectives fighting with each other for egoic reasons. I mean wouldn't avoidance of someone picking fights with you help the cause of creating peace?

 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

@Shin I disagree with you fully and completely. 

I did absolutely nothing to attract them. 

Saying that is like gaslighting me

 

The fact that trolls exist is already a problem. The problem that they can't be handled effectively is another problem. 

Putting the blame of the problem squarely on me is a nice deflection from the real issue

 

Not a good or fair judgement on your end. 

[Preety_India]

This is almost like saying that if someone is racist to me  then I must be attracting racists????

What an absurd argument?

Take responsibility for what??

For someone who is being racist to me?

I should take the responsibility of not attracting a racist by what, by changing my skin color, or raising my raising my vibration???

Don't get me angry. 

But this is some serious spiritual nonsense 

The gaslighting nonsense 

 

Saying "much love " doesn't make the gaslighting look loving. 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Preety_India

[Someone here]

Just report them and move on.. 

Besides that.. Who cares for bloody sakes? 

[Preety_India]

When I'm openly saying that I'm facing a real problem, you two guys are making me the creator of the problem?

That is the worst thing you could do to a person asking for help. 

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

Just report them and move on.. 

Besides that.. Who cares for bloody sakes? 

If you are not aware, sometimes the reporting doesnt help because no action is taken. 

Not all the time though. 

If there is a serious situation, the reporting does help a lot.. 

Like a  person who was racist to  me, he did not receive any warning. He only got a warning when Emerald defended me and I had to Mention Leo four times for him to take action. 

I can't keep wasting my energy doing this, nor can the mods. 

That's why i said there should be a block option. 

[mandyjw]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

When I'm openly saying that I'm facing a real problem, you two guys are making me the creator of the problem?

That is the worst thing you could do to a person asking for help. 

No, it's empowering. We aren't saying it's your fault, we're saying it's within your power to focus on something else and create something you want. Anyone who puts themselves out there has trolls at some point. The trolls say more about themselves than they do you. If what they say strikes a cord there's a voice within you that echoes the sentiment. Then the troll did you a favor by pointing this out and the, the troll works for the side of self love and greater awareness. It's up to you what you do with anything. If I bought you a paint set, I don't want you to spend 45 minutes telling me what a horrible shade of brown there is in this particular set and how it shouldn't be there, I want you to choose the colors you DO want to use and paint a picture.   

[Preety_India]

@mandyjw you are acting as though trolls are giving me an option to pick and choose from?

Such an option comes at the cost of self esteem. 

Why should I let myself be publicly humiliated by some troll and on top also not be able to do anything about it?

How exactly is that empowering?

 

 

[Someone here]

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

If you are not aware, sometimes the reporting doesnt help because no action is taken

Yes that's because not every single apparent trolling comment is actually worth taking action. Keep in mind it's a relative thing. Some people are more sensitive than others (I'm guessing you are sensitive person) and because of your sensitivity you might perceive it as trolling when it's really just another comment on the forum. 

 

8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Like a  person who was racist to  me, he did not receive any warning. He only got a warning when Emerald defended me and I had to Mention Leo four times for him to take action

Maybe ask yourself why are people being racist to you.. Do you see it happen with other forum members.. . Why "you"? Do you think it's because you have a proactive personality? 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Someone here

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, dflores321 said:

I cant make you angry. Notice this: I'm literally doing nothing, I have no anger towards you, where does the anger come from?

The problem is you're expecting people who dont support you or even hurt your feelings to go poof. Not condoning their actions: just saying that these people exist, nothing you do will make them dissapear. 

But, you can take responsibility for what you're focusing on, find a way.

Ignore trolls, report trolls, find a way or just move on. 

Really what do expect? The trolls won't go back into their caves, the racists aren't magically gonna become left leaning (hehe). 

What are you gonna do? Be empowered ??!

Tell me empowered in what sense?

You mean allowing the troll to keep shitting on me?

What is your practical idea of empowerment here?

Let me hear too. 

 

[mandyjw]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@mandyjw you are acting as though trolls are giving me an option to pick and choose from?

Such an option comes at the cost of self esteem. 

Why should I let myself be publicly humiliated by some troll and on top also not be able to do anything about it?

How exactly is that empowering?

I'm a girl who has a youtube channel about non-duality, I've dealt with trolls. It is always about something I'm insecure about, particularly, being a girl with a youtube channel about nonduality.  Occasionally, I don't feel 100% worthy of speaking about what I'm speaking about, so sometimes people remind me of that, and then I have a fire lit under my butt to love myself and speak about what I love without concern. Which is what I want and the whole reason for doing it anyway. It's not at the cost OF self esteem, my self esteem is MY self esteem, not anyone elses. 

Edited May 7, 2021 by mandyjw

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, mandyjw said:

I'm a girl who has a youtube channel about non-duality, I've dealt with trolls. It is always about something I'm insecure about, particularly, being a girl with a youtube channel about nonduality. I don't feel 100% worthy of speaking about what I'm speaking about, so sometimes people remind me of that, and then I have a fire lit under my butt to love myself and speak about what I love without concern. Which is what I want and the whole reason for doing it anyway. It's not at the cost OF self esteem, my self esteem is MY self esteem, not anyone elses. 

What do  you say to the trolls And naysayers?

Did you face harsh critical judgement like character trashing?

What did you tell them directly in terms of words?

 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Preety_India

[Grateful Dead]

@Preety_India You could practice self-acceptance. What I mean by that is that when you read a comment that hurts you or affects you in any other negative way, you recognize the part in yourself which is hurt and you give it your unconditional love. Once you accept and love that part in you, it will disappear.

[Preety_India]

Ok I have a question for all the people who talk about empowerment. 

Why does Leo ban trolls?

Why can't he adopt the same strategy?simply ignore trolls right?

What do you think will happen if he simply ignored trolls and didn't ban them?

Wouldn't this place be full of trolls running riot all over the place completely trashing the place with posts meant to bully the heck out of him with baseless criticisms and false accusations?

How will this place look like if it's completely waterlogged with trolls?