could my unhappiness/lack of self inquiry growth stem from my trauma?

[spiritualryan]

to give some context i've been rigorously doing self inquiry as much as i could for the past 4-5 months. i've watched a lot of mooji, rupert spira, tom das, ramana maharshi, leo's video on it, and nisargadatta maharaj. the reason i'm so focused on it is because i suffer a lot throughout the day ): and many gurus suggest that the only source of lasting happiness is through self inquiry/being. however no matter how much i practice, i always identify with the sensation in my abdomen. it's moderately painful and it's very likely there because i used to be extremely unconscious and had panic attacks daily because i had severe social anxiety(used to get bullied). my question is, is this emotional blockage the reason i'm unable to find peace/self inquire correctly? it's always there in the background of my experience even while i'm typing this. i also watched leo's video on 'body awareness' and that seemed to explain a lot to me. but i wonder if this is why it's been so hard for me to self inquire? i'm gonna try shamanic breathing for 30 minutes tonight and see if anything gets released.

[Nahm]

@spiritualryan

Sit and relax, and take deep breaths. Do that until you feel a subtle shift, into a bit deeper relaxation. Then bring up each of these to mind (A & B), and ‘check in’, or really feel the abdomen area, feel how it’s responding...

A) I am unconscious. I have panic attacks. I have social anxiety. 

Then take a moment to consider how those thoughts feel. Hone into the abdominal area and consider, if it feels great...it’s confirming that those thoughts about you are indeed true. If it feels not great, it’s saying those thoughts about you are not true. 

B) I am conscious. I am peace. I am loving. 

Then take a moment to feel how you feel. 

[Beginner Mind]

Firstly, I'm sorry you had some difficult experiences in the past.  I think anyone who is willing to sit down and explore their experience can realize their true nature, no matter what they've experienced in this life.

Now, in short, be the Knowing.  Knowing/Awareness is what you are, so exercise your knowingness in this moment.  Your Knowing is something you can turn up the dial on.  So turn up the dial of Knowing, by just practicing KNOWING in this moment.  BE PURE KNOWING.  Within a few minutes of doing this, you will begin to experience the peace of your true nature.  Realizing who you really are doesn't have to be complicated. 

[Raptorsin7]

@spiritualryan Try chanting Ohm or amen, or some other meaning slogan like god, love etc Into the painful sensation.

Try for 5-10 mins