Enlightenment and pickup

[Evoke]

Would enlightenment increase your pickup skills? I mean a lot of the approach anxiety would be gone right? 

What the point of doing all this consciousness work and meditation if im still hesitant to approach. 

I feel that its the hardest thing in the world to make myself do pickup because its a very "real" fear.

On the other hand, doing psychedelics, meditation and consumption of spiritual material seems like a walk in the park in comparison. 

Is it because i have almost zero experience of pickup? 

 

[Kalki Avatar]

@Evoke Notice that approaching women can be a fearful situations to some men, but mostly is not. Observe, that the fact of approaching a women looking for a certain response (needy-expectation) is what creates the fear. And then you think its the women, but not, Its your expectation. If you approached your boss or anyone trying to get something out of them, you get anxiety. 

There are two ways to work on this. 

First, you need to create a spyral upward self-fulfilling prophecy of being attractive to women. You need this belief first. How to create it? Go to bars as a habit without any expectation. Just be there to become unsensitive and comfortable with the place. After that, just small talk to people or say something, ask something, whatever. Then do the same to many women and see their responses. You will read her facial and body language. But you are not looking for anything yet. Then, after you get many good responses (first impressions) from her, your subconcious will create the belief that you are attractive to women. Then, you can simply talk to them, build some tension, and control the direction of the conversation. Ofc, Its better if you practice what arguments you will use to move the conversation to your will and make it come as natural.

Its a slow but sure process that builds up and escalates quickly. Get the foundation right, the rest will come. You basically get to a point you just talk to women randomly and trust your mind the rest will happen by its own. But only after certain practice. 

In regards to your question of Conciousness and pickup. Yes, enligthenment can absolutely improve your pickup, but that doesnt mean she will like you or that you will even want to do pickup at such point. She may like you for a while, while she sees your glowing aura. But after getting to know you, she will loose Interest by not having much in common. Your dating chances reduces to mostly only girls in the spiritual community. 

What you can use from spirituality for pick up is. Calming your mind, deep breathing, relaxing and presence. Before you do a cold approach, if you get into a very Present state, you will be anchored in your presence for a while, which means loosing all fear, thought, expectation and becoming luminous. This can help you approach more easily, yet dont depend on it. Grow your confidence by getting the shit out of you beaten up. 

Edited May 2, 2021 by Kalki Avatar

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Evoke said:

Would enlightenment increase your pickup skills? I mean a lot of the approach anxiety would be gone right? 

What the point of doing all this consciousness work and meditation if im still hesitant to approach. 

I feel that its the hardest thing in the world to make myself do pickup because its a very "real" fear.

On the other hand, doing psychedelics, meditation and consumption of spiritual material seems like a walk in the park in comparison. 

Is it because i have almost zero experience of pickup?

Deep awakening will make you more authentic, secure, charismatic, masculine, feminine, and playful. It will dissolve much fear too. Which is very effective for pickup.

But it will not give you technical skills nor experience with women -- which is also very important for results. For example, you will still not know how to escalate, handle logistics, or close.

If you think pickup is difficult and scary, awakening is way more difficult and scary. If you can't muster the balls to approach a girl, you won't be awakening any time soon.

[roopepa]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Deep awakening will make you more authentic, secure, charismatic, masculine, feminine, and playful. It will dissolve much fear too. Which is very effective for pickup.

But it will not give you technical skills nor experience with women -- which is also very important for results. For example, you will still not know how to escalate, handle logistics, or close.

If you think pickup is difficult and scary, awakening is way more difficult and scary. If you can't muster the balls to approach a girl, you won't be awakening any time soon.

This thought once popped up in my mind:

People fear sex as much as they fear death.

[Breakingthewall]

4 minutes ago, roopepa said:

This thought once popped up in my mind:

People fear sex as much as they fear death.

I would say: people fear being excluded from the sex market as much as death

[Anirban657]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you can't muster the balls to approach a girl, you won't be awakening any time soon.

Wow Leo. I never thought about it that way. Thanks for all the amazing content you are creating. I never could have known about enlightenment without you. Thanks a lot.

[SolarWarden]

Maybe sex and pick up are the most transformative thing you could do besides attaining enlightment.

[Carl-Richard]

17 hours ago, Evoke said:

Is it because i have almost zero experience of pickup? 

Both ?

[Evoke]

@Leo Gura

This is what i thought of. 

But then there are monks who awaken in celibacy and most of them has not gone through the process of seduction and pickup/dating. 

In fact they view sexualiy as something thats takes focus from God or meditation. 

I feel that dating and seduction is very ego and survival driven and most of the times i went for dates im falling in to a lower vibe. In contrast to when i walk in the forest by myself and doing it with mindfulness, dating seems superficial. 

But i also love intimacy, its just the process i dont really care about. 

16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Deep awakening will make you more authentic, secure, charismatic, masculine, feminine, and playful. It will dissolve much fear too. Which is very effective for pickup.

But it will not give you technical skills nor experience with women -- which is also very important for results. For example, you will still not know how to escalate, handle logistics, or close.

If you think pickup is difficult and scary, awakening is way more difficult and scary. If you can't muster the balls to approach a girl, you won't be awakening any time soon.

16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

Edited May 3, 2021 by Evoke
Spelling

[Evoke]

@Kalki Avatar Thanks for the long input, appreciate that! Kind of how i experience this area of life. 

[Regan]

you get better through getting rejected! It's the fear of rejection that is holding you back, but once you get comfortable with rejection you'll naturally be your more authentic self because you won't be in your head and you'll instead be in the present, which girls will be able to intuitively pick-up on. Gotta get comfortable being uncomfortable.

My friend who is 'the best' at 'picking up girls' in clubs and who's slept with more girls than anyone I know also gets rejected at clubs more than anyone I know, but he doesn't care which is why he's successful

I recommend a book called 'How To Be a 3% Man', and the author's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/coachcoreywayne

His political views leave much to be desired but other than that he's a genuine dude and perfect for what you need

[Regan]

"the only thing to fear is fear itself" is a good anchor

[Evoke]

@Regan Seems legit! I will definitely check that book/channel! Thanks! 

[Globalcollective]

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

If you think pickup is difficult and scary, awakening is way more difficult and scary. If you can't muster the balls to approach a girl, you won't be awakening any time soon.

This pick up is a walk in the park compared to awakening. i wouldn't approach awakening to develop your skills with women 

[vladorion]

18 hours ago, Evoke said:

Would enlightenment increase your pickup skills? I mean a lot of the approach anxiety would be gone right? 

What the point of doing all this consciousness work and meditation if im still hesitant to approach. 

I feel that its the hardest thing in the world to make myself do pickup because its a very "real" fear.

On the other hand, doing psychedelics, meditation and consumption of spiritual material seems like a walk in the park in comparison. 

Is it because i have almost zero experience of pickup? 

Seems like your motivation for awakening is to become better with women, which is a wrong motivation. 

Pickup is hard to do if you're honest with yourself. Because you realize you're just trying to use women to get rid of a sense of lack and feel better about yourself. 

[Evoke]

@vladorion No not at all. I would say that i was in fact better with women before i started my spiritual journey because i was out partying more and mostly lived my life by SD stage orange norms. 

Then i couldnt stand that lifestyle anymore and hit a low point in my life. 

Spirituality has been like a coping mechanism ever since. 

But i feel that i have more practial issues i need to solve in my life and relationsships is only one of them. 

[Kubia]

I think that meditation by itself (without reaching full enlightenment) is a keystone habit that pickup can immensely benefit.

Pick-up "techniques" are good to guide you to point A to point B, but meditation can transform your brain very deeply and be more yourself without worrying to much about the process. The fear and anxiety to approach are the biggest obstacles, and meditation can lower those sensation by a ton.

Meditation > less fear > you care less about the outcome > more approach > more experience > more success > more confidence > even less fear .

[The0Self]

I used to think it would when I had ideas about what enlightenment would be like. Metta definitely helped me in pickup, but enlightenment/freedom/liberation? Liberation is obvious: what is; what seems to be happening. Additions to this are not real, therefore there isn't anything actually happening, which is simply everything (what seems to be happening)... and this is that... How exactly could that possibly help with pickup? lol

Edited May 4, 2021 by The0Self

[vladorion]

31 minutes ago, The0Self said:

I used to think it would when I had ideas about what enlightenment would be like. Metta definitely helped me in pickup, but enlightenment/freedom/liberation? Liberation is obvious: what is; what seems to be happening. Additions to this are not real, therefore there isn't anything actually happening, which is simply everything (what seems to be happening)... and this is that... How exactly could that possibly help with pickup? lol

The main obstacle in pickup is insecurity and insecurity belongs to the ego. Very simple.

On the other hand, you might lose motivation to do pickup if you're not feeling separate and limited.

[The0Self]

27 minutes ago, vladorion said:

The main obstacle in pickup is insecurity and insecurity belongs to the ego. Very simple.

On the other hand, you might lose motivation to do pickup if you're not feeling separate and limited.

The body can still be insecure, there's just no one in it. It has sexual; food; companionship needs. What is insecurity if not need? There's just no real need -- but then of course, no real pickup. Thus, enlightenment is literally, simply useless for personal endeavors of any kind at all. Spiritual development, on the other hand? Yeah, that will almost certainly help with pickup if you do it right -- not that I know what the right way is, but Metta and Jhana absolutely seemed to help.