Has anyone else experienced this? The weight of names and reputations.

[juvoci]

Does anyone else feel trapped by names? Limited by names? Your first name? Your last name? The name of your business? A pen name? A stage name? Etcetera.

Allow me to elaborate. When we (or our parents) choose a name, it’s a significant choice. Why? That name defines us, identifies us. And over time, we build a reputation with that name. Our friends and family know us by that name. Our customers, our readers, our listeners, know us by that business name, pen name, stage name. Attached to that name is all your triumphs and all your failures, at least all those done under that name. Sure, you can change your name, business name, pen name... but then you lose your reputation too, the good and the bad. You lose “brand recognition”, so to speak.

When I first got deep into metaphysics and philosophy, I realized the limitedness and arbitrariness of names. Partially this was due to experiencing ego deaths for the first time. I didn’t feel like Juvoci anymore. I felt like this name limited me. It pointed to something much smaller than my consciousness. I didn’t want it anymore. I wanted to have no name. I wanted to be nameless. Either that, or I wanted to have infinite names, a new name everyday. I didn’t like the idea of having ONE name, and sticking to it indefinitely, as if that one name could really define me, identify me, be me.

So my questions are: Has anyone else felt this, or anything similar? Does anyone know what causes this feeling, and what the solution might be? Of course, there is some ego involved here. An egoless person wouldn’t be concerned with this, but then again, if we’re being realistic, we all need names to operate in this world. Right? Imagine having no name. You couldn’t even achieve this legally. You would have to completely abandon society to achieve this. And imagine trying to start a business without a name. How would you market? How would you build reputation and brand recognition? But as soon as you choose a name, you’re stuck with it; not forever, but for a indefinitely long time, especially if you want to be successful, as a business, as a writer, as a musician, etcetera. 

@Leo Gura, do you ever feel trapped by your name, “Leo Gura”? Or “Actualized.org”? Do you ever wish you could change these names? Do you ever feel like these names weigh too heavy? Like they’ve accumulated too much history, too much reputation, too much baggage, too much ego?

I’m just thinking outloud here, something I’ve been wondering about a lot lately. Names are fascinating to me: why people choose the names they choose, the influence names have, the baggage they can accumulate over time, the weight they can eventually hold. But clearly I haven’t cracked their code yet. Names fascinate me, but also confuse me, and like I said, confine me, limit me. So I’m super curious about any input y’all have on any aspects of this.

Thanks everyone. ???

Edited April 23, 2021 by juvoci
Typo in title.

[Mason Riggle]

@juvoci I've thought about this some.  I use my real name on here, and because I do, I think (I may be totally off base on this, but maybe not) I'm perceived as 'just a regular joe' who isn't as 'serious' or 'informed' about philosophy etc., as someone named 'EnligthenedBliss', or what have you. 

Some newbie here would probably trust that someone named 'EnlightenedBliss' has more experience, or more understanding, about topics of 'enlightenment' more than they would trust 'some guy named Mason'. 

[JosephKnecht]

It's a trap of the Ego. It wants to leave a legacy. 

 

[juvoci]

@Mason Riggle Yes, Mason, exactly! People judge a name immediately, before even knowing what or who is behind it. And thus, choosing a name can be very strategic. But then again, there are very successful people and businesses with questionable names. Rae Sremmurd always comes to mind. Super successful music duo, extremely weird name with vague pronunciation. And there are many other examples. And then there are people like Sam Smith, Adam Smith, Will Smith, Dave Jones. Super successful, yet extremely generic names. It seems that with every name, there are benefits, and opportunity costs. So how does one choose a business name, or a pen name, or a stage name?

[juvoci]

@JosephKnecht Thanks Joseph!

No offense, but I think this is too simplistic of an answer. I don’t think the founder of Staples was so much concerned with leaving a legacy for Staples, so much as they were concerned with quickly telling their customers what kind of things they sold. And I don’t think the musician Jack Johnson was so concerned about leaving a legacy for Jack Johnson so much as he was concerned about... just having a name to share his music under. And a writer whose birth name is Vile Peacock Semen will probably publish under a different name, not because of legacy but simply because... well, obvious other reasons.

Some people may choose a name for the sake of legacy, sure, but not all, perhaps not even most. Also, I don’t think the desire to leave a legacy is necessarily a trap or a bad thing. The desire to leave a legacy can be selfless, if your legacy is for the benefit of others. MLK for example, or Gandhi, to use cliches. Their names now stand for things, and no doubt they were smart enough to know that they would. Is this delusion or an egoic trap? I think not. It’s foresight, forward thinking.

If Vile Peacock Semen believes in equal rights for African Americans, he might change his name to Martin Luther King so that his ideas about equality, and his legacy, won’t be known via the name Vile Peacock Semen.

See what I’m saying? What are your thoughts on this perspective?

[Mason Riggle]

6 minutes ago, juvoci said:

So how does one choose a business name, or a pen name, or a stage name?

It's tricky business... try naming a child. 

When it came time to choose names for my kids, a lot of thought went into it.. How will their name affect their life?  Will a 'John' seem as unique to himself as a 'River' would? How will that affect him growing up? Will 'Gertrude' be picked on about her name more than 'Heather' would? 

 

[juvoci]

Just another comment on my original post:

Someone whose birth name is Francis Siobhan Petersburg might consider writing under the pen name Frank Peter. But see, there are opportunity costs for both names. If he uses his full birth name, Francis Siobhan Petersburg, then it’s a mouthful, harder to spell or Google-search, potentially more pretentious-sounding, etceteta; but if he uses the name Frank Peter, it’s less distinguishable, more “average joe”.

Which name would be better?

[blackchair]

nope, dont have problems with names and identites, nothing to hide here

[juvoci]

@Mason Riggle Exaaactly! Thank you Mason, you understand. And see, it’s an important decision. These are important questions. But then, how does one ultimately decide, and commit to a single name? Because there is also the risk of overthinking the entire thing, which perhaps I’m past the point of. But then again, maybe 3 years from now, after I’ve chosen my pen name (the main reason I’m thinking about names; I’m an aspiring writer who hasn’t published yet), I’ll look back and be glad that I put this time and thought into it, rather than going with the first name that occurred to me. Or maybe I’ll think: “Wow, that was a waste of time. Should have just gone with my birth name.” Impossible to know, and perhaps it doesn’t matter either way.

[juvoci]

@blackchair But are you a public figure? Or aspiring to be a public figure? Or are you a brand or business owner? An entrepreneur? An artist? If you’re a low-key anonymous character, then yes, names and identities don’t matter too much. In that case, it’s just pragmatic. “People call me Joe just so they have something to call me.” But when you’re looking to be a public figure, a professional political figure or writer or public speaker or athlete, etcetera, then it’s a more significant and strategic decision. Thoughts on this, Blackchair? ?

[blackchair]

well my name is Marko Maslać lol.....pretty much everybody knows me

[juvoci]

@blackchair That’s a really cool name, actually! In my opinion, at least ? What is the significance or reasoning behind Blackchair, if there is one?

[blackchair]

i was sitting across the blackchair when making up the username so deep isn't it?

[juvoci]

@blackchair Speaks to your nonchalance regarding names! I certainly admire that. I sense that my extensive thought regarding names has benefits, but also drawbacks. ?? In some sense, Blackchair is as good a name as any! And your real name is quite cool too! I actually really like the name Juvoci, but no one knows how to pronounce it. And my last name is pretty lame and ugly, in my honest opinion. ? 

Edited April 23, 2021 by juvoci

[juvoci]

 

1 hour ago, juvoci said:

Just another comment on my original post:

Someone whose birth name is Francis Siobhan Petersburg might consider writing under the pen name Frank Peter. But see, there are opportunity costs for both names. If he uses his full birth name, Francis Siobhan Petersburg, then it’s a mouthful, harder to spell or Google-search, potentially more pretentious-sounding, etceteta; but if he uses the name Frank Peter, it’s less distinguishable, more “average joe”.

Which name would be better?

Any thoughts on this?

[JosephKnecht]

5 hours ago, juvoci said:

@JosephKnecht Thanks Joseph!

My name is not Joseph. It's a pseudonym. 

5 hours ago, juvoci said:

I don’t think the founder of Staples was so much concerned with leaving a legacy for Staples, so much as they were concerned with quickly telling their customers what kind of things they sold.

There is a difference between a personal name and a name of a business. A business name is supposed to provide a symbolic reference under which a company can differentiate itself. Its acts as a collective Ego, and the collective ego serves as an umbrella under which all small egos are united.

5 hours ago, juvoci said:

If Vile Peacock Semen believes in equal rights for African Americans, he might change his name to Martin Luther King so that his ideas about equality, and his legacy, won’t be known via the name Vile Peacock Semen.

 When you are born, you didn't choose your name. A name was given to you, and you claimed it as yours. The Ego claims things that it didn't create.  

The ego knows that it will disappear, so it clings to its name. The family name is an extension of this survival agenda that aims to propagate itself onto the next generation. 

It was not MLK, nor Pittagoras that improved humanity. It was their spirit. Whether you call it MLK or MILK, it makes little difference.

[juvoci]

@JosephKnecht I think you’re missing the point of my post, but that’s okay. ??

[Batman]

I think I can get what you are communicating.

But a name is only a concept, used for the purpose identifying a certain object (usually a life form that participates in human culture such as humans, cats, dogs, etc), or a group of objects (such as a family name which refers to some linkage between human beings).

Given it's conceptual nature, name has no meaning whatsoever, unless we assert meaning to it. And I sense that it is you who is 'trapping' yourself inside a certain character, that is recognized by some name. Of course you are not your name. This is not the only concept you are not Being. Your entire self-concept is a fabrication, and is not who you really are.

So feeling trapped by a specific name is no different from feeling trapped by some belief, such as that you are smart. If you believe you are smart, you will act to reflect this self-image to others, reinforce it for yourself, and avoid activities that may nibble in this belief. Feeling trapped is the reasonable outcome of any self-distinction you assume.

So, name is just a small piece in the puzzle of the self. And yes, if you have associations or meaning that you imposed on your name, you may find you are trapped by them, because you identified with them, maybe even without noticing.

The only one trapping you. is. your. self.

[juvoci]

@Batman Very well said. Thanks, Batman! You are right.