Does Success Hurt Woman's Dating Chances

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, modmyth said:

My parents always low-key let me know that teaching was a waste of my intelligence, and they were both teachers. lol.

Haha classic

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, modmyth said:

My parents always low-key let me know that teaching was a waste of my intelligence, and they were both teachers. lol.

Omg that's too funny. Your parents probably spotted your talents and  didn't want to waste your child prodigy on a dull teaching job. That explains it. 

 

[Zeroguy]

@modmyth Yeah I agree.

I always say. Who will ask for advices other then young insecure and unexperienced guy. Also very naive too. 

You can't teach them @Emerald's stuff which is for older audience. Older audience doesn't really need that.

If you exchanged girls and women in your youth as socks what trick or what misunderstanding of them you didn't learn by that time. For sure you know how to maintain relationship functional. 

Also response to @Lyubovabout providing. Get new girl. Simple.

It was easy for me beautiful guy can have any women. But play with what you have and it's not my fault. Women are the same. 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

was easy for me beautiful guy can have any women. But play with what you have and it's not my fault. Women are the same. 

With that attitude, you have chances with many women?

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Preety_India Nah he can only get hippos

[Preety_India]

@Raptorsin7

[Consept]

21 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Yes.. it’s like that from what I see too. 
I find myself feeling like I SHOULD be striving for success. I don’t really want to try and *be* somebody. I want to progress with life purpose related things, but I don’t care about making loads of money.  Just enough that I can be comfortable. 

If you feel like you 'should' do something thats usually a society thing where others have drilled that into you and so you feel bad for going against this. I think in general society, esp western but not limited to that, has really made success, achievement and money making the be all and all of everything, so much so that you can actually be considered less of a person if you dont feel the same way. Its seen as though youve failed not that that youve made a choice. This is the issue with feminism, in reality feminism should be that you have freedom of choice but what its turned into is that women should compete with guys and therefore a woman that chooses a traditional role or is more family orientated is looked down on compared to 'successful' women.

What we dont seem to take into account is that being a high powered, highly successful, status driven person is usually not very healthy, male or female and actually would need some psychopathic traits to actually make it to be the ceo of a top company. Think about the amount of hours, sacrifice, dedication all at the expense of everything else in life, this is not what i want to do and most men dont want to do it, but there are some that want to and these are usually men. Women get annoyed because there arent as many ceos but i see it as women just arent as crazy as men lol. 

Regarding your situation, your brother seems to be someone who fits the bill of looking down on others just because they are not as successful in terms of career. Its a ridiculous position to have as not everyone has the same drives and as i said its the reason for a lot of the problems highlighted in this thread. 

[Zeroguy]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

With that attitude, you have chances with many women?

 

Ofcourse I do. 

You are source of your own love. Sooner you realize that the better. In fundamental sense you don't need anyone to be happy and fulfilled. 

Actual self confidance and zero needy vibe. 

That's attractive. 

Also who will love you more then yourself? 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Zeroguy said:

Ofcourse I do. 

You are source of your own love. Sooner you realize that the better. In fundamental sense you don't need anyone to be happy and fulfilled. 

Actual self confidance and zero needy vibe. 

That's attractive. 

Also who will love you more then yourself? 

Yea that's why I fell in love with you. 

You talk like a stage red boyfriend  

. (don't get too serious, just flirting with you,  take it sporty, and if I offended, sorry lol ? )

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, Consept said:

. I think in general society, esp western but not limited to that, has really made success, achievement and money making the be all and all of everything, so much so that you can actually be considered less of a person if you dont feel the same way

This is so true. And I have to tell you that I absolutely hate this, and hate it even more that it's being adopted by other countries. 

 

[Consept]

This is a really good video that covers a lot of topics raised in this thread -

 

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

I do not relate to this at all. I truly want to know - what's in the relationship for him? Why does he stick around in the relationship with you? Sounds like it's all about you and your career, no space for him in the relationship.

The reason I’m talking about career so much in relation to my relationship is because that’s what the post is all about.

I am also very invested in my relationship to my partner as well. This entails being a good listener, being supportive and non-judgmental, being affectionate, investing time and effort in him, giving him a space where he can let down his guard, etc.

[Emerald]

4 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

@intotheblack Gotta commend you. Heathy normal stuff.

Teal Swan. Jesus Christ. 

@Emeraldis there too just need to let go a bit and realize most people are not like her. Way way lower on scale. Has to adapt to that not deny or forgets. 

Are you saying that most people are not like me? Is that what you mean?

Regardless of how similar or dis-similar people are to me, my entire point is that a woman would be using an unwise relationship-seeking strategy to forego career/Individuation for the purpose of attracting a partner.

It’s said by many men on this thread that they prefer a woman who only focuses on home and family and that success will hurt a woman’s relationship prospects. And there is an implication of advice to women that foregoing career would be a good strategy for finding a high quality partner.

But my entire point is that this is a terrible strategy for both life satisfaction and relationship seeking.

In my experience, developing yourself fully (including career) is the best strategy for attracting a compatible, high quality partner... and it’s also a great strategy for scaring off incompatible and low quality partners.

And it’s important for all women to know this. They would be wise to know that they don’t have to stunt themselves and their growth to attract a man. In fact, keeping themselves small is a good strategy for attracting the wrong kind of man. 

Shine your light fully and brightly and do what speaks to you in your heart of hearts and you will become a beacon for potential partners who are on the same wavelength. 

[Parththakkar12]

54 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The reason I’m talking about career so much in relation to my relationship is because that’s what the post is all about.

I am also very invested in my relationship to my partner as well. This entails being a good listener, being supportive and non-judgmental, being affectionate, investing time and effort in him, giving him a space where he can let down his guard, etc.

Goddamn you're a monster. How do you do so much?! All by yourself?! You are one tough wo-man.

Edited April 24, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[Emerald]

@intotheblack @Raptorsin7 @Consept @Preety_India

“Also what is being assumed here is that said woman is striving for success for the purpose of believing that this will help her attract a man.  Or that if the woman is successful it must mean she’s not as physically attractive so is choosing career to try and make herself more attractive (in the way that men do) which I don’t think is the case,  for women they are doing that more out or choice, not because they think it will attract more men.”

This is also important to realize in relation to the original post.

Women generally aren’t going into careers for the purpose of attracting men. They do so either out of necessity or because it’s what really lights their fire.

I can say from experience that my desire to follow my passions, which is something I’ve always been oriented to even as a little kid, is all about the excitement and fulfillment found within the engagement of the passion itself.

There’s never been a thought process of, “Okay, I’m going to develop this super successful career and the men are gonna love me.”

The life-purpose has never been a bargaining chip for some other desired outcome. The life-purpose itself is the desired outcome. 

[Zeroguy]

@Parththakkar12 It's like watching my clone female edition. Trust me it strikes you. Still won't complain watching. 

[Emerald]

6 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Goddamn you're a monster. How do you do so much?! All by yourself?! You are one tough wo-man.

I only spend like 25-30 hours a week on my career if that. I work for myself, from home.

My job consists of life-coaching over Zoom and making videos for my YT channel (which I tend to slack off on). And some passive income too.

So, I’m not really killing myself to make ends meet. 

Maybe I’d feel different or struggle to be well-balanced if I were working like 60 hours a week at a job I hate. 

[Parththakkar12]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

@intotheblack @Raptorsin7 @Consept @Preety_India

“Also what is being assumed here is that said woman is striving for success for the purpose of believing that this will help her attract a man.  Or that if the woman is successful it must mean she’s not as physically attractive so is choosing career to try and make herself more attractive (in the way that men do) which I don’t think is the case,  for women they are doing that more out or choice, not because they think it will attract more men.”

This is also important to realize in relation to the original post.

Women generally aren’t going into careers for the purpose of attracting men. They do so either out of necessity or because it’s what really lights their fire.

I can say from experience that my desire to follow my passions, which is something I’ve always been oriented to even as a little kid, is all about the excitement and fulfillment found within the engagement of the passion itself.

There’s never been a thought process of, “Okay, I’m going to develop this super successful career and the men are gonna love me.”

The life-purpose has never been a bargaining chip for some other desired outcome. The life-purpose itself is the desired outcome. 

Or because of feminist conditioning that says 'Men should be attracted to a strong, independent woman. If he isn't attracted to that, he's weak' and then your career is a test to test for how strong the guy is. Or an avoidance-strategy in the context of relationship.

There are those women who are really relationship-oriented but because they lack self-worth, they have a 'life-purpose', which, in reality, is workaholism and then this feminist conditioning turns into a justification for their lack of self-worth. Prioritizing the 'life purpose' is not something that's natural to them, it's something that's conditioned into them. Then comes the whole stereotype of buying 9 cats. To be fair, you probably don't relate because your authentic priority probably is your life purpose.

[Etherial Cat]

25 minutes ago, Emerald said:

In my experience, developing yourself fully (including career) is the best strategy for attracting a compatible, high quality partner... and it’s also a great strategy for scaring off incompatible and low quality partners.

And it’s important for all women to know this. They would be wise to know that they don’t have to stunt themselves and their growth to attract a man. In fact, keeping themselves small is a good strategy for attracting the wrong kind of man. 

Shine your light fully and brightly and do what speaks to you in your heart of hearts and you will become a beacon for potential partners who are on the same wavelength. 

Wonderful post @Emerald.

This is so true. I would say that developing yourself and your career is the best way of attracting a life, a partner and friends who suits you best.

A career is important as it allows you to provide value to society.  So theoretically, a career can be extremely fulfilling. But a lot of us aren't having a career who is aligned with who we are, so we've got a difficult relationship with it. I would say that this is even the norm.

An aligned career with your core essence will make you one of the very best in your field. It would rather feel effortless and you'd not want to spend your time doing anything else but what you're gifted for. It is your life's purpose.

And since you're spending a lot of your time in your career, it is the best mean to spread your essence around and see who resonates.

I see it a bit like being a spider building a cobweb (or maybe a diamond's net ) with it's energetic signature and meet all the beings who are getting captured in it.

For instance, we are all on this forum because each of us resonate with Leo's work in some way. We are all caught in his web. 

 

 

 

[Emerald]

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

Or because of feminist conditioning that says 'Men should be attracted to a strong, independent woman. If he isn't attracted to that, he's weak' and then your career is a test to test for how strong the guy is. Or an avoidance-strategy in the context of relationship.

There are those women who are really relationship-oriented but because they lack self-worth, they have a 'life-purpose', which, in reality, is workaholism and then this feminist conditioning turns into a justification for their lack of self-worth. Prioritizing the 'life purpose' is not something that's natural to them, it's something that's conditioned into them. Then comes the whole stereotype of buying 9 cats. To be fair, you probably don't relate because your authentic priority probably is your life purpose.

I have always been really excited to go towards what interests me. So, my interests, and by extension, my interest in my career has never had much to do with trying to get a relationship.

But if a man is threatened by my interests and career, then it’s a good sign that he’s not the right man for me either because of incompatibility or because of him being threatened by my empowerment.

Men who are insecure tend to like to keep their women small because they fear they’re not dominant enough or desirable enough if they don’t diminish her.

But a man who is truly confident and secure in himself, won’t feel shaken by my passion. When a man is truly in his king energy, he will support his woman in her queenhood. 

But most people don’t love their work. It’s important to understand that most working women aren’t making a Feminist statement. The lady working 60 hours a week at Burger King has no other choice. And these women would probably adore to stay at home with their kids if they had the opportunity.

So, categorizing women working as a Feminist thing or competing with men is a total misread of the situation. Most women work as a means to an end. Poor and working class women have always had to work... long before Feminism was even a thing.

So, if the men on this thread really want a woman not to work, then you have to start making enough to support an entire household on a single income.