ExistentialFitness

College Life or Self Actualization?

8 posts in this topic

I'm torn between spending all my time "actualizing" and making the most of my fun, youth experiences while I'm still in college. I'm currently a 21 year old Computer Science student in University right now with about 60% females with one of the most renowned college party scenes on the east coast. I'm in a top-tier fraternity here, an all-male a cappella group, and I am shredded from working out 5-6 days a week for four years so it's no issue for me to get laid.

My only issue is that most of the people in my frat and even my singing group don't care too much about existential inquiry and mostly indulge in low consciousness activities like drinking and smoking- even on the weekdays. I feel a major disconnect with my goals (to self actualize and live the most fulfilling life possible) and the goals of the people in my fraternity (which is to live for the weekend to get fucked up and hook up with as many girls as possible). I also feel guilty because my 14 year old self would have dreamed for a life like this and now that I finally got it it seems so unfulfilling.

The only reason I don't completely go down the self-actualization route (whatever that means) is that I don't want to look back on this time when I'm older with the regret that I didn't "make the most" of this time in college with such a rich social scene in a city full of tens of thousands of people my age and beautiful women.  I'm never going to have the opportunity to be in such an environment again so part of my feels like I should be continually working on my game. I already have pretty good game and have slept with plenty of women and a handful of 9's/10's but I eventually want to really hone down my skills to be able to pick up 9's and 10's with ease and eventually be worthy and deserving enough to date any quality woman that I want. If that's already an eventual goal of mine shouldn't it make sense to leverage the position I'm in right now?

However, working on social game takes a lot of energy and part of me wants to spend all my energy figuring out my life purpose and how I'm going to escape wage slavery and provide value to society. I know I have a lot of potential with programming because my professor tells me I pick up the algorithms in his class faster than any other student- he offered to guide me through going to grad school for Computer Science but I respectfully declined. I am also very musically talented- I've been told it would be a shame for me not to make a career out of music and have that talent go to waste (piano, singing, and producing). I have always been highly adaptable and the last two times I took an IQ test I got a 141 and a 138. I know that IQ isn't a complete measure of intelligence and plus that score is biased because IQ tests are perfectly suited for my personality type- INTP (same as Leo's). Please don't think I'm trying to sound cocky- I actively try to keep my ego in check and try to think of myself as no more superior than anyone else in Truth. However, I am very fortunate to have skills that a lot people don't have and am very grateful for that so I think the most logical thing for me would be to make the most of them and not squander them.

Am I just looking for a distraction to avoid self actualizing? Or should I really be socializing to the fullest extent while I can (privileged with such an amazing environment for a man my age)? Perhaps there's a balance? Any advice on this would be very much appreciated.

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Do both of them. You probably waste hours a day with inefficiency. If your competent or efficient enough then you can do both. 

List your priorities, so you can weight activities, endeavors and goals based on that.

Reach set goals in each endeavor, so that you can move onto the next one (which may eventually lead to "self-actualization"), as a primary focus. 

Make a list of everything you want to do (like perhaps some rather crude PUA-esque goals I won't list here), and reach there ASAP, while appreciating the journey ofcourse. 

Lets just say you have your entire life to self-actualize, and you have your youth to fuck and party. Make sure you maximize the later, while it is most viable, suitable and reasonable to do so. 

Be aware, and more so careful, that along the self-actualization and enlightenment path, your motivation and desires (for certain things atleast) may weary and drop, at least temporarily. And also, notice that this may be a false dichotomy. Completely maximizing your youth, fun, sex, partying while your young, may actually even help you in your journey to self-actualize, perhaps through the process of elimination or whatever.

So in summary

  1. Do both (Or if you can't than --->
  2. Maximize your youth, fucking, partying (with self-actualization in the backdrop) ------> Move into more focus on self-actualization after

Based on the limit of what you have given here, and have said you want, I think this is may one of the better set of pathways for you but then again I dont know blah blah, it depends blah blah blah

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Why rely on the friends in your frat? Find people who are more on the same wavelength as you and then go out and party with them. Maybe take Leo's Life Purpose Course.

If you already get 9's and 10's don't worry about finding a wife, you will be fine.

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Posted (edited)

Do both! Everything you do is a part of the path. Follow your heart, no experience is wasted.  

Edited by erik8lrl

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College if it does not cost a bomb.

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