Is it legitimate for my life purpose to be "to manifest the experience of 5-MeO-DMT"?

[Kshantivadin]

Is it legitimate for my life purpose to be "to grow enough, gather the resources and courage to experience 5-MeO-DMT"?

This post is just the birth of an idea, I just wanted to immediately post it while in the proper mindset instead of keeping a scrap in my commonplace, so there's not that much detail.

 

This would basically mean doing lots of personal development. Or getting myself in a crazy enough state to just do it immediately

I naturally gravitate towards this substance. I think about it a lot.

My current state of consciousness is so low that I'm not even conscious there are heightened states of consciousness. I did some MDMA a week ago, and finally remembered "fuck, I can actually be more conscious! It's possible!" I was groping in a dark room for half a year at least. Had a hard time maintaining a regular practice, etc.

But even doing retreats, my consciousness is painfully dim. It's so dim that I've developed a limiting belief that something's wrong with me, and I can't break through being a barely-awake dissociated human being.

There is a lot of fear related to psychedelics. Even when I get really high on weed, I can get scared from the altered state. The good thing is I also have the virtue of courage Having this life purpose would make me grow through the fear.

Having this life purpose would definitely give a structure to my life, goals to work towards, a vision. I'd push my limits every day, and grow a lot.

 

I think I answered my own question, and the answer is "if it feels good, why the fuck not?"

Nevertheless, I would really gladly read your thoughts about this matter.

 

I'd really regret dying and not taking this substance. But I'm even too dim to uncover what I really want.

[Leo Gura]

It's a fine personal goal, but LP is not about what you do for yourself. It's about what you want to do for others.

So in this case once you finally reach your goal, a valid LP would be to spread that experience to others.

So you're close to an LP, but you're stilling thinking of it too selfishly.

Your LP might be to help OTHERS expeirence 5-MeO-DMT. Although that is risky business so be careful with how you go about that.

[Kshantivadin]

@Leo Gura  I definitely want others to get enlightened. I don't know what experiencing 5-MeO is like.

 

"to grow (which includes experimenting with substances for the purpose of growth) in order to be able to help others reach liberation"

Edited April 10, 2021 by Kshantivadin

[Leo Gura]

@Kshantivadin Yes, well, the problem with you is that you are getting way out ahead of your skiis. Try to bridge the gap with a life purpose that's a bit more closer to your experience of life. You are making an LP about a thing you haven't even experienced, don't know is real, and don't even know if you will like.

You gotta test all those waters first and see if it really is something you're passionate about. Don't assume your passions, feel for them in the now. What are you passionate about now that in part of your life experience?

You can always expand out into 5-MeO or awakening once you experience it and find it resonates.

The problem with assuming too much is that you will find you aren't as passionate about that thing as you thought once you actually experience it. It can be easy to fall in love with the IDEA of a thing rather than the thing itself. So be careful not to fall into that trap.

[Guest SirVladimir]

4 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

I think I answered my own question, and the answer is "if it feels good, why the fuck not?"

I definitely want others to get enlightened.

What I'm about to write will be straightforward yet designed to help you in a most loving way, so keep your heart bright.

This isn't your life purpose. Not even close. It's a derivation of it, i.e. there's something about it that feels true, a kernel, which, if observed deeply, will eventually lead you to your origins and your life purpose.

Right now, you are so preoccupied with chasing enlightenment that it appears as if you have forgotten the one and true thing you are, i.e. being enlightened. Your desire to awaken others is actually a thought in disguise whispering, "I definitely want myself to get enlightened."

Here's the irony, though, for realizing your nature isn't about 'ripping something new' for yourself, it's about striping yourself of the preexisting blankets that are beclouding your mind. When you realize this, you'll simultaneously realize there was nobody that needed saving; no one to bestow enlightenment upon; nobody who isn't enlightened by the time you yourself become.

Also, altered consciousness isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Are you willing to live through eternal hell if it comes? One quote by Leo goes as, "The lies of bliss and heaven get you hooked, and like a fish you get reeled in..."

May your journey lead you to the truth. Welcome. 

Edited April 10, 2021 by SirVladimir

[Kshantivadin]

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Kshantivadin Yes, well, the problem with you is that you are getting way out ahead of your skiis. Try to bridge the gap with a life purpose that's a bit more closer to your experience of life. You are making an LP about a thing you haven't even experienced, don't know is real, and don't even know if you will like.

You gotta test all those waters first and see if it really is something you're passionate about. Don't assume your passions, feel for them in the now. What are you passionate about now that in part of your life experience?

You can always expand out into 5-MeO or awakening once you experience it and find it resonates.

The problem with assuming too much is that you will find you aren't as passionate about that thing as you thought once you actually experience it. It can be easy to fall in love with the IDEA of a thing rather than the thing itself. So be careful not to fall into that trap.

I am far from that, true. I have a passion for helping people, though. I know how much I suffer. I know how much they suffer. My idea of liberation is a permanent state free of suffering. There is bodhicitta. 

Everything else seems completely secondary, all of my other passions, endeavors, this is the real deal, this is the main problem. And I can grow myself into a person who can help and be of use in this matter.

A life purpose that's a bit more closer to my experience of life? I suffer immensely. I've experienced numerous mystical states, and I know that's the right way to go. 

Making any use of my life to others is better than none. I've hit rock bottom recently, so that humbled me a lot concerning my life purpose.

I know that in this petty state I can't really be of much help. My gifts can't shine from all these layers of problems. Even though I've grown a lot these past years of personal development, it's not much. Wisdom? yeah. Compassion? sure. Love? yeah. but far from enough.

9 hours ago, SirVladimir said:

What I'm about to write will be straightforward yet designed to help you in a most loving way, so keep your heart bright.

This isn't your life purpose. Not even close. It's a derivation of it, i.e. there's something about it that feels true, a kernel, which, if observed deeply, will eventually lead you to your origins and your life purpose.

Right now, you are so preoccupied with chasing enlightenment that it appears as if you have forgotten the one and true thing you are, i.e. being enlightened. Your desire to awaken others is actually a thought in disguise whispering, "I definitely want myself to get enlightened."

Here's the irony, though, for realizing your nature isn't about 'ripping something new' for yourself, it's about striping yourself of the preexisting blankets that are beclouding your mind. When you realize this, you'll simultaneously realize there was nobody that needed saving; no one to bestow enlightenment upon; nobody who isn't enlightened by the time you yourself become.

Also, altered consciousness isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Are you willing to live through eternal hell if it comes? One quote by Leo goes as, "The lies of bliss and heaven get you hooked, and like a fish you get reeled in..."

May your journey lead you to the truth. Welcome. 

I don't feel enlightened. I suffer a lot. 

My desire to get others enlightened comes from compassion and love. I wish them the best.

I've had my share of painful altered states of consciousness. I don't want hell. It can come any moment, though, I don't really know anything about reality so as to be sure about that. Also, this experience can or might be an iteration of hell. What happens is definitely not in my control.

Sorry for the mediocre reply.

[Guest SirVladimir]

7 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

Sorry for the mediocre reply.

Nothing mediocre about it, you're doing the best you can. That's courageous.

Let's tackle the issue - you say you suffer a lot. What's the source of this suffering? Does it come from material instability? From some health disease? From the environment you are in, the people you are surrounded by? Is it in your power to alter this condition?

[WaveInTheOcean]

19 hours ago, SirVladimir said:

What I'm about to write will be straightforward yet designed to help you in a most loving way, so keep your heart bright.

This isn't your life purpose. Not even close. It's a derivation of it, i.e. there's something about it that feels true, a kernel, which, if observed deeply, will eventually lead you to your origins and your life purpose.

Right now, you are so preoccupied with chasing enlightenment that it appears as if you have forgotten the one and true thing you are, i.e. being enlightened. Your desire to awaken others is actually a thought in disguise whispering, "I definitely want myself to get enlightened."

Here's the irony, though, for realizing your nature isn't about 'ripping something new' for yourself, it's about striping yourself of the preexisting blankets that are beclouding your mind. When you realize this, you'll simultaneously realize there was nobody that needed saving; no one to bestow enlightenment upon; nobody who isn't enlightened by the time you yourself become.

Also, altered consciousness isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Are you willing to live through eternal hell if it comes? One quote by Leo goes as, "The lies of bliss and heaven get you hooked, and like a fish you get reeled in..."

May your journey lead you to the truth. Welcome. 

Quality post, thank you

[Waken]

your life purpose is being fulfilled when you follow your attraction/joy

[Nahm]

@Kshantivadin

I think you’re very confused and calling the emotions you’re experiencing anything & everything other than, the emotions you’re experiencing. That leads to trying to “solve” that “problem” with purpose, substances, other states, self image, etc. It’s far easier and perfectly lasting to just understand emotions and how you’re creating them. 

On 4/9/2021 at 10:20 PM, Kshantivadin said:

"if it feels good, why the fuck not?"

Apply that to the thoughts. 

On 4/9/2021 at 10:20 PM, Kshantivadin said:

I'm even too dim to uncover what I really want.

Thoughts like that. 

Definitely start letting go of what you think you know.