I am quitting my job

[trenton]

I currently work at a Kroger grocery store.  I have worked there for about 3 years.  I have been a good employee.  I nearly always showed up early and I did very well in nearly every part of the job as a front end associate.  The only part I did poorly on was socializing with customers.

The managers tell me to step to the side and say "hi thanks for coming in.". If I don't do this, then they might fire me.  Sometimes the managers stand behind for five orders straight waiting for me to forget to greet the customer so they can threaten to fire me.  I am not going to tolerate this.  It is annoying and I am leaving because of this.

I think they are focusing on employees who are most likely to fail to greet the customers.  I received a significant warning for my actions.  I think the company is making a poor policy decision that is making it annoying to work at Kroger.

I tried talking to the store management and I called corporate Kroger, but it looks like nothing is going to change.  Kroger is over stressing the importance of politeness to the point that it is causing more harm than help.  I tried to discuss moving me to a role that would not require as much socializing.  This could be linked to autism, but there is nothing Kroger plans to do for any autism program.  There is no way for Kroger to nurture any of my abilities and no role they can offer me.

I will not be working on customer service because these kinds of relationships with work are not sustainable.  I am purchasing a car to help me move to jobs further away.  This gives me more options than I previously had.  I still have an associate degree in general studies from a community college.  This also limits my options.

1.  Do you know what kind I would be better suited for?

2.  Does what I described qualify as harassment?  I am scared to make this call and I don't know what will happen to me if I make this kind of complaint.

[PepperBlossoms]

Coworker perspective - Unfortunate that the company did not consider your concerns.  It is optimal for both employees and bosses to have 2 way communication and address/respond to things like that.  It sounds like they do not care about your needs but want you to care about theirs.

Company's perspective - we want our employees to be social and kind to enhance customer experience - if we ask them to do something, we expect it to happen.  We don't want our employees to turn the customers "off"

Growth perspective - notice socialization with people as a weakness/fear - could try working on it and make it better - it will only get better with practice/reframing mind -

At the end of the day - It is awkward and can feel fake or to say something like "thanks for coming in".  Customers know it is fake too.   Customers to the most part don't care if the person greets them - they just want quick, reliable service.  They will remember when the service was bad more than they will if the person greeted them.

Holistic perspective - everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and companies need to note that some people love being social and excel at it and others do not like it and would rather not

If your manager is standing behind you like that - that is kinda awkward and unnecessary if you are performing everything fine aside from the socialization part - I'd say try a different company/career - or get a different shift with a different boss who does not care about greetings.  Could bring it up to manager and ask what all their concerns are - "I have noticed you watching me and it makes me feel uncomfortable - is it really just the socialization thing, which I have already voiced that I am not comfortable doing, or is it something else that I am not aware of and if so, I'd like to know". (maybe worded differently ha)

Could try for careers that don't require much socialization - engineering is an example - probably others too

Note that there will tend to be various things that are hard to deal with - whether that is with a teacher, a job, a coworker, a family member, etc. - if one decided to leave every time one was disgusted with something, one would not last with anything and one may have no friends, no job, no education, etc. - even if you don't stay at this company, may want to try to work through the notion of having a struggle and how to deal with it/think about it. 

Work takes up most of our time - less optimal want to spend time at something/somewhere we do not feel comfortable at.

I'm sorry you are having that experience.

The harassment part is tough- if you bring it up, it may become awkward for the rest of the employment - but it sounds like it is already awkward.  I can see that it may be easier to just leave.  The company or boss needs to change the expectations and acknowledge that not everyone is suited to be social - if you are a great employee, the boss is wasting their time or has nothing better to do than get on you - could reach out to HR and talk to them about it.   It does sound like workplace harassment though - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workplace_harassment

[Average Investor]

I would make a pros and cons list about working there. I think just that process can help you contemplate on what will work best for you. 

I've seen managers laugh about mental health issues of employees. I would be doubtful of any reform if you confront them. It is possible though. I would directly speak to the person that you are having a problem with about the situation. Come to a win/win solution if possible. 

I use to do the drive through window at burger king and I had supposedly had a complaint for being rude. Although, I just took their money and was brief with them most likely. People can interpret anything like that as rude.  Most likely that is what your managers are upset about. Not many people want to say the same thing several hundred times in a row like a robot for $8 an hour.

You could also try to use it to practice your social skills and just ride it out for now while you look elsewhere. You have total control for how you react to the situation. You can practice just enjoying it regardless of whoever is standing behind you. 

[PepperBlossoms]

@trenton Not saying to or not to - just saying that the government has info on harassment too - 

https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/guidance/what-you-should-know-what-do-if-you-believe-you-have-been-harassed-work#:~:text=You have a right to,to complain about the harassment.

@Average Investor Nice advice.

My boyfriend had similar issues when working at a nursery for basically minimum wage as well.  They told him to interact with customers and he is pretty shy and likes to keep to himself so he kept doing the other tasks like watering plants and they sent him home.  I think bosses with mindsets like the above want a specific personality and if someone doesn't fit or fake that personality - they try to get rid of them.

[trenton]

I am looking for other places to get a job.  I found some better jobs that offer 18-20 dollars an hour, but are still customer service jobs.  This would be better than Kroger paying me 13 dollars an hour, but it would not be a job I'm happy with.

One of my biggest problems with working with Kroger is that it is unable to use my strengths to the fullest.  The default is that my weaknesses come up time and time again, leading to long term misery.  I would like to work somewhere that uses my strengths.

My strengths come out best when I am in a state of flow.  This can happen during chess tournaments and I had success with teaching chess in the past.  This is a narrow interest, and I need to find out what are my key strengths.  Would the life purpose course help?

[Girzo]

@trenton The Life Purpose Course will make you forget the idea to work at Kroger or anywhere else just for money, other than as a stepping stone. It won't be an easy path, though. Yet, the course is structured so to make it as simple as possible to start taking action in the positive direction.

Edited March 30, 2021 by Girzo

[universe]

On 28.3.2021 at 1:49 AM, trenton said:

I currently work at a Kroger grocery store.  I have worked there for about 3 years.  I have been a good employee.  I nearly always showed up early and I did very well in nearly every part of the job as a front end associate.  The only part I did poorly on was socializing with customers.

Congratulations! You have been a good worker ant and made someone who is playing this game a little better than you a nice stash of money!

I don't mean that to diminish your work, it's certainly honest and a good service you are doing. But if you want to implement yourself better and get more involved with your work you need a vision for what you want to do with your life. What is your plan? Do you want to keep working customer service your whole life?

I've never been to Kroger but the idea that grocery workers would overly socialize with me sounds ridiculous.

[trenton]

@universe I would be absolutely miserable working staying in customer service forever until I die.

Sometimes I think I should go back to college for a business degree or education degree.  The point would be to build a chess school.  If not just a chess school, it could include other board games and teach people to master them.  I am interested in chess programs that help people born in low income families because I think poverty is a waste of talent.  Wasting talent is miserable and customer service is one way to do it.

Changing my job is only a temporary stepping stone unless I do something way better than what I am currently doing.  How did you discover your talents?

[trenton]

@universe I forgot to add that during this pandemic I learned that most Americans live paycheck to paycheck.  I would have to be out of mind to allow this kind of life.  I still feel pretty lost sometimes as to what I should be doing on a regular basis.

[Roy]

Hey man I also quit my job recently so you're not alone! You'll get something new and better if you look hard enough and want to find it.

My scenario different. My crazy boomer uncle threatened me and hit my car out of a complete misconception without being cool headed enough to listen to a rational explanation, so instead of giving him 3 weeks notice like a professional he forced me to tell him to go fuck himself and his stupid mullet and I left that day. Also packed up my shit and didn't pay rent for the month because he was massively overcharging and pocketing it anyways without a receipt. Also tried to extract extra labor by gracefully giving me a chance to "pay it off" on weekends, not working for extra cash mind you... this was to take off the rent.

Anyways I've got a deposit on a place for May 1st and I'm taking the next month off to travel Vancouver Island and the province before I settle into the new place 

If you want to find something more suited to you, consider a delivery driving or trucking job. It's way more peaceful than working in a store and you interact with 90% less people during your day.

Good luck mate, it's all gonna work out!

Edited March 31, 2021 by Roy

[Javfly33]

15 hours ago, Roy said:

 

If you want to find something more suited to you, consider a delivery driving. It's way more peaceful than working in a store

 

On one level it´s more peaceful in the sense you don´t have to sell , and interact with people much.

On the other delivery driving usually usually demands some stress management skills and driving has on it´s own his level of anxiety... which is minimal, but doing it daily for hours it ends up builing up as an another level stressor to the job.