Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationship

[IAmReallyImportant]

2 minutes ago, knakoo said:

Maybe I have a lot of feminine energy in me or something. It is so fascinating to read about men who see women as these mysterious creatures.

These are usually the ones who need a lot of help to get relationships or sex. So they think up fancy evolutionary explanations, read a lot and so on. But all this behaviour only comes from an initial strong neediness. Often these are naturally self-centred people.

[integral]

People need absolute independence, then they wont need anything from a relationship.

No expectations = Effortless Relationships 

There is no such thing as a relationship, its all contractual rules indoctrinated into everyone by culture. 

Reinvent relationships,

Edited March 8, 2021 by integral

[IAmReallyImportant]

9 minutes ago, Emerald said:

While it is true that some women are more masculine and some men are more feminine and that's valid, this is not true for most people.

And the man/woman, feminine/masculine perspective is actually REALLY important to look at, as this is where all the wounds are that have to be addressed.

To invalidate that perspective altogether is to repress and close off the ability to heal those wounds. 

Agree, but it is also hurtful not to consider perspectives that are not so common. And this is what happens often here and with other teachers. It is like trying to heal one wound but then create new ones. This more man/more woman thing also includes the binary perspective. And to give certain aspects more or less importance is not a healthy view imo.

One cannot just generalize things using assumptions with the highest probability.

Edited March 8, 2021 by IAmReallyImportant

[knakoo]

7 minutes ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

These are usually the ones who need a lot of help to get relationships or sex. So they think up fancy evolutionary explanations, read a lot and so on. But all this behaviour only comes from an initial strong neediness. Often these are naturally self-centred people.

Do you mean men with a lot of feminine energy or men who see women as mysterious creatures ?

Because I am sure there are many very masculine men who find women very perplexing, but are still very attractive. You don't need to understand women very much for attraction, but it is helpful for deep intimacy.

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

Agree, but it is also hurtful not to consider perspectives that are not so common. And this is what happens often here and with other teachers. It is like trying to heal one wound but then create new ones.

Certainly that's true. I think Teal could do a better job at specifying her reasons for focusing specifically on a heteronormative and gender-conforming perspective to clarify that she's not discounting the validity of the people who naturally have uncommon energetic signatures.

But it also is very important to look at heterosexual and gender conforming issues around polarity as this is often where we can see the polarity issues of the world play out. You can look at the average straight man and straight woman and notice the larger societal issues with Yin/Yang imbalance and see how it feeds directly into a great many major social problems... some that involve gender/sexuality but most that don't. 

So, to avoid that perspective all together means that we can never heal the wounds of that perspective. And that's not to say that the polarities of people who don't conform to the gender norms or sexual norms are invalid. Those are very real and very valid things. I'm bi-sexual myself. 

[IAmReallyImportant]

Just now, knakoo said:

Do you mean men with a lot of feminine energy or men who see women as mysterious creatures ?

Because I am sure there are many very masculine men who find women very perplexing, but are still very attractive. You don't need to understand women very much for attraction, but it is helpful for deep intimacy.

I mean the ones seeing women as mysterious creatures who at the same time trying to figure it out intellectually and have a hard time to get results.

For me this whole discussion unnecessary, because it is a feeling and experience thing anyways.

[Emerald]

14 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Absolutely. Can we just stop to appreciate how much of our collective issues are due to the excessive polarization towards the masculine? The imbalance has not only distorted Mother nature through the environmental crisis, it is also at the root cause of most of our societal and political issues.

Though, it seems that for it to happen, Masculinity needs to be firmly grounded in the basic soil and watch out for a potential predation of Shadow Masculinity. To be fair, a lot of men are trying to hold at least a bit of space for Femininity, but they fear not to be competitive anymore. I think a lot of the issue stem from that. What do you think?

Very much so. At the core of most of our societal ales sits the imbalance between Yin and Yang, where the Yang polarity has a stronghold over society and chokes out the Yin polarity.

Before, this worked because we weren't effectively encroaching upon Mother Nature. 

But yes, a huge part of counteracting Shadow Masculinity is for men (in general) to connect to their Healthy Masculine energy in a conscious way. It's not about them denying their masculine polarity... it's really about reconnecting to it and bringing themselves back into alignment. Shadow Masculine only comes up when Masculinity has been pushed into the Shadow. 

[IAmReallyImportant]

8 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Certainly that's true. I think Teal could do a better job at specifying her reasons for focusing specifically on a heteronormative and gender-conforming perspective to clarify that she's not discounting the validity of the people who naturally have uncommon energetic signatures.

But it also is very important to look at heterosexual and gender conforming issues around polarity as this is often where we can see the polarity issues of the world play out. You can look at the average straight man and straight woman and notice the larger societal issues with Yin/Yang imbalance and see how it feeds directly into a great many major social problems... some that involve gender/sexuality but most that don't. 

So, to avoid that perspective all together means that we can never heal the wounds of that perspective. And that's not to say that the polarities of people who don't conform to the gender norms or sexual norms are invalid. Those are very real and very valid things. I'm bi-sexual myself. 

I think there is also a lot of discrimination going on saying e.g. homosexual women are more masculine or homosexual men are more feminine. Can imagine that it doesn't feel good to certain people.

And as it is useful to understand how to opposite gender works, it could also make the thing more complicated as it actually is, because there not that much to learn. It is no rocket science imo. I also think e.g. not every women needs a strong men to support her, but this in parallel doesn't mean that she don't want to have a masculine one, too.

And so on. Nearly on every argument you can find examples where it doesn't apply. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by IAmReallyImportant

[Emerald]

7 minutes ago, IAmReallyImportant said:

I think there is also a lot of discrimination going on saying e.g. homosexual women are more masculine or homosexual men are more feminine. Can imagine that it doesn't feel good to certain people.

And as it is useful to understand how to opposite gender works, it could also make the thing more complicated as it actually is, because there not that much to learn. It is no rocket science imo. I also think e.g. not every women needs a strong men to support her, but this in parallel doesn't mean that she don't want to have a masculine one, too.

And so on. Nearly on every argument you can find examples where it doesn't apply. 

It can sometimes happen where gay men with a more masculine polarity are also attracted to men and the same for lesbians. 

There are two ways this can happen.

One way is that the sexual instinct is also subject to the rules of polarity. So, even if someone has a polarity where they are in the majority/norm... meaning that they are men that are mostly masculine or women that are mostly feminine... they can still have a sexual instinct that deviates from the norms for most in their gender. 

Another way is if a person's sexuality is still geared towards the opposite polarity associated with their gender. So, if we take a masculine gay man who is mostly attracted to feminine men, or a feminine lesbian who is mostly attracted to masculine women. 

These are all possibilities with regard to polarity. But because everyone has masculine/feminine in them, an understanding of polarity is very helpful.

But honestly, I talk a lot about these topics. And I have gotten quite a bit of positive feedback from those in the LGBTQ community. Now, that's mostly because I acknowledge these distinctions up front, so as not to marginalize. That's why I said that Teal Swan could do a better job with that.

But polarity is not usually very simple. It can devolve into stereotypical discussions that miss the meat of what's really substantial about having these discussions. It has to be handled responsibly and with proper distinctions between Yin and Yang vs the masculine and feminine principle vs cultural masculinity and femininity vs every individual person's polarity. There are many distinctions to parse.

That said, right now, there is a huge polarity issue between the masculine and feminine that needs to be resolved. And it impacts everyone... straight, gay, gender conforming, or non-gender conforming. 

And we have to look at where the wounds are... not just for the sake of men and women's relationships to one another but to how these polarities play out in ever person and in society at large in the form of major social, political, and environmental issues that often don't seem to have much to do with gender.

[aurum]

I resonate with Teal's perspective in this video.

When I look back on my own experiences where I feel I was embodying containment, it felt really right in my body. Like "yes, this is what it means to be a man".

Ironically, it could seem like men are getting a raw deal from this. Like Teal is saying men must do everything, and women basically just get to sit back and reep the rewards.

But I don't think that is it at all.

First of all, we want to do this. Even if there's all sorts of conditioning and shadows blocking that.

Second, the feminine is immensely valuable. But if we try to measure its value through the lens of masculine values, we may not see it.

The feminine is the restorative energy. It heals. It nurtures. It's being in the moment. So it's also more intangible, it doesn't provide "stuff" that we can count like the masculine.

A man who doesn't have feminine energy in his life is going to have many problems. You'll have burnout, you'll lose your joy, and maybe most importantly, you'll lose your heart. All that warrior energy ends up serving egoic desires rather than the whole.

So the feminine is vitally important. It would be great if Teal made a video after this explaining what women bring to men, which I think would clarify some of this confusion.

Also, none of this stops a man from perhaps also receiving containment at times. I think of my dad, who was such a great provider for our family, but also never let himself receive. And I think he desperately wanted to. He desperately wanted, maybe just a few times, to not have to go to war and instead be the one being taken care of. But the feminine was repressed and so he struggled.

As far as whether this is just regressive gender roles rehashed, I feel the answer is obviously no. Gender roles are only repressive if someone is putting force on you to be a certain way that is not authentic. What is being described here is the opposite, it's the genders discovering what is actually real about the experience of being a man or woman.

Edited March 8, 2021 by aurum

[soos_mite_ah]

Women: Hey, can you treat us with basic human respect and empathy, and maybe also take charge a little more so that we feel safe enough to be vulnerable around you in order to cultivate the emotional and physical intimacy we both crave on some level?

Men: WHaT iS tHIs SiMP BEhaviOr?!?!?! DoN't YOu ReAliZe ThATS jusT telLiNG uS tO Be NICe GuYS. Me NEEds tO bE STROnG EmoTIOnLEsS aLPHa ChAD. FeMIninE coMPAssion aND empATHY eQuALS WeaK bETA MALe wHO has NO selF reSPECt oR bOUndaries

Some of yall are really need to integrate the feminine and do some shadow work and it shows 

[Karmadhi]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes, you are stuck in your personal selfish biases. You are not seeing or caring about the female's survival agenda, instead pushing your own.

A woman needs a weak man as much as you need a dick in your mouth.

I never said weak, just empathetic honest and kind. I do not support nice guy syndrome and being a wimp, but kindness honesty and empathy should be given more importance.

And why are you calling me self biased? I said BOTH sexes should give more importance to kindness and empathy and honesty. The male equivalent is caring less about female looks once she reaches a certain threshold.

The idea here is about thresholds. A girl that you think is a 2/10 of course will not do, just like a super weak simp will not do. Once a certain level of these things is reached, other things are given more importance. Just like once a certain level of income is reached other things like job satisfaction, inter personal relationships etc are given more importance than pure money. Nuance.

I have made very self baised posts in the past but here i am really trying to be equally harsh on both sexes. What would be self biased is if i just focused on the females and ignored males which i clearly did not do. I addressed both of them.

Edited March 8, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Willie]

This video seems very biased toward a binary way of thinking. It didn’t really resonate with me at all. Then again, I’m not a stereotype of masculinity. So maybe it shouldn’t resonate.

[Keyhole]

Looking through this thread I can see why women here have such a hard time on this forum.  A lot of you here feign genuine growth, don't you?  Why is that?  Women don't want men who are weak, who are jerks, and who can't connect to them on an emotional level, this is such a common thing, it's not rocket science.  Feminine energy is nature, it's Earth, it's caring for animals, plants, children, ect...
There are so many ways to tap into it.  Try caring for something that isn't you and nurturing it from a baby into an adult and you will have a better understanding of feminine energy.  That's containment, it is nurturing something other than your selfish...I mean... clearly spiritual... selves.   Or no-selves, whatever you identify with. 

You literally can't grow as a person without both of these energies working in sync, they move like a DNA strand - it's yin yang, negative and positive, all of the energies you feel from the planet, from animals, psychic abilities, a good number of siddhis, ect. are feminine in nature.  Intuition is generally more feminine; and you block a huge chunk of that by not integrating it.  It's more than just what women need, it's another piece of the evolutionary puzzle.  And I hate to say it, but due to the repression of the feminine by the masculine, it comes from you first.
Also, I hate to say it again, but most women don't want childish, passive-aggressive and lazy men.  We want to feel safe, contained, feminine - we are not here to be your mother.  We can care for you, but we are not your door mats or house mouse slaves.  That energy needs to move in a balanced circle.

If you want to be leaders, if you want to feel like men, you can't do that without fully integrated feminine energy and understanding it fully.  Generally speaking, most men prefer feminine women unless they are inherently weak.  It's not socially kosher to say, but it's the truth.  More often than not you are compensating for something.  A lot of tailspin sexualities come from this, unless you integrate and find out after the process that this is your orientation, but if you have not done the work and choose a polarity based off of spiritual bypassing, and then try to pass that off, it's kind of lame and not helpful at all.  To anyone.

Those who complain that this is too binary - is it, or are you just broken in some aspect?  Be sure you're being honest about your sexuality and not lazy and saying it is one thing when it really isn't.  I see a lot of this here already, so of course it makes sense to question this, I don't take what people say at face value because usually people are never fully honest with themselves, much less others.

But what do I know, I'm just someone integrating the feminine after having it damaged by weaksauce men who refuse to integrate themselves in any real, nuanced and meaningful way - and so I get stuck with bullshit for attempting to do so, knowing the raw power that comes from the feminine; and considering we are a part of the land, it is actually, genuinely... truely... the superior energy when harnessed properly. 

Let me put it this way:  Don't want to feel and hear the planet?  Don't want the majority of mystical magical spiritual powers?  Don't understand and integrate the feminine.  Stay blind.

Edited March 8, 2021 by Keyhole

[zeroISinfinity]

2 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

Life is too short to worry about this anyway. Most men can just carry on focusing on being masculine and their relationships will be fine lol. There are faaaaar more important things for men to pursue.

?

Chase check not skirt. 

Woman is side thing for man, not the main one. 

Man is a leader woman is follower(nurturer, whatever). 

Edited March 8, 2021 by zeroISinfinity

[zeroISinfinity]

Sorry @Raptorsin7for mentoining you. But watching this video or any other video even from men philosophizing standpoint will not get you closer to getting laid or actually having intimate relationship.

Signing up and going to gym will actually make you closer for example. 

Actual stuff. 

[Raptorsin7]

@zeroISinfinity It's cool I don't mind being invoked. 

Yeah, I have no desire for true relationship until I learn how to be a developed and capable man. I have high standards for a partner and I know that how I am right now won't cut it. 

For now i'll settle for escorts and tinder. 

I'm pretty sure girls can tell in like 5 mins of meeting if you are worthy of them or not, everything else is kinda bs. If a man is judged worthy by a high value girl, 99% sure he will have emotional capacity and inner development to satisfy other needs.

Is it too much to ask for smart, beautiful, rich, classy, and good/pure? I feel like when i'm done with inner work I will check all boxes myself that i want in a partner at least.

[zeroISinfinity]

Of course I do. Lived life. Didn't learn it in school or on youtube. 

[StarStruck]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

A woman needs a weak man as much as you need a dick in your mouth.

 

...

[zeroISinfinity]

@Peter Miklis Also now in Reconquista mode. Same stuff once again. 

Spirituality, non duality, love all that interests me exactly the same as eating live snails. 

Same goes for "women needs". Will just laugh at that. What a bunch of BS and lies this "prophets, gurus, experts" came up with. 

Have money and every women will want you. 

Edited March 8, 2021 by zeroISinfinity