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Jacob Morres

balance

51 posts in this topic

Empathy vs Advice

When to be empathetic?

When to give advice?

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The more information you know, and the more you understand yourself, the better decisions you can make 

#gamesense 

Screenshot_20210305-150951_YouTube.jpg

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so like you're supposed to like walk out when someone doesn't value your feelings , or emotional well-being (i did and I am so proud of myself) 

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Game sense in overwatch to me currently means, given all the variables what decision you make. and the quality of your decisions, increases the quality of your rank

When translated to IRL , the transition creates THIS: game sense in real life is fucking systems thinking . given all the variables given, the quality of your decisions dictate the quality of your effectiveness + results in life

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Posted (edited)

Shame is effective in the short-term because it can cause behavior change. Someone shames, the other person feels bad and changes behavior because of it. 

But the long-term cost can be diminished self-worth and create a shadow for the one on the receiving end of the shaming. And to the one shaming, that person may feel guilt for damaging that persons self-esteem. Both parties also experience a lack of intimacy, and possibly integrity loss for the action of shame.

Also another issue, is that shame sometimes does not even cause behavior change, and only includes the negative consequences of it (shame) 

Another issue is that sometimes, the proper philosophical understanding that is trying to be communicated is not properly received by the receiver of the shame. AKA, the lesson is never learnt, even if the behavior is changed due to the shame. The shamed is not wiser from the interaction. 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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Posted (edited)

There is a trap in giving advice when you dont understand when that advice is appropriate and when it is not 

When you don't have a in depth understanding of the advice, your advice will not be accurate in many cases 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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Posted (edited)

Self-acceptance vs self-improvement 

Self-acceptance... is being okay with what is. with that struggle. with that pain. with that flaw. with that negativity. comes peace. 

Self-improvement... is a desire for a higher being. for more love. for a higher power. for a better life. for better relationships. for a better outcome. for more joy & happiness. 

Develop this idea more

Edited by Jacob Morres

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something i notice i do is that i try to do things and give aid and serve others in the way i should give myself

i want to be a social anxiety coach and self-esteem coach but really i just want these things solved in myself?

idk lets just do it 

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Posted (edited)

One of the issues with advice in overwatch is that the whole underlying problem of good mindset is missing! How can you implement advice without proper structure, good mindset, proper regime and learning skills?? How can you apply without self confidence? 

It's very difficult to apply advice when your underlying feelings are all over the place 

If you have an underlying mindset of self confidence, it is much easier to apply advice! 

 

Same with social skills! You can tell me what to say, but an underlying feeling of self confidence makes the whole journey 10x smoother. Honestly its a complete lack of awareness of the INNER GAME of social skills 

 

 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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I realized that mindfulness of my anxiety in social situations can also be applied to my anxiety in all situations 

Then I realized that my mindfulness isn't strong or powerful enough, and I need to be more focused with its light 

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Posted (edited)

I think the only way i can handle the problem with my parents it through systems thinking because handling my parents with green values is so trash it gets me nowhere because they dont resonate with it deeply enough... instead of dealing with it at green stage, i have to handle them where they are at instead of trying to bring them up to green 

 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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RAS is some shit

other day i was thinking about needing a system to get better at video games because playing irregularly yields low results so i wanted consistent playing on a consistent schedule. sort of like working out. after i had that insight i was open to receiving that info and then i found it literally immediately

then today i was thinking about needing friends to play overwatch with because if you play without a duo it is lonely, difficult and yields lower results. so i opened my mind to it and found the results almost instantensouly. 

weird how the world gives you the answer as soon as your mind begins to genuinely look for it 

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Posted (edited)

As a human being, we have immense power 

We have to learn how to control it, to use it, to actualize it, to manifest it 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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Posted (edited)

We live in a world abundant of resources:

Therapists for all disorders

Life coaches for all problems 

People who have done what you've want and can show you the ropes

Groups dedicated for singular topics 

Books, cohorts, courses, videos written directly for your issues 

Masters in respective fields 

Tons of people on Instagram, Facebook groups, friends of friends, youtubers, tik tok creators, people in forums (paid and not paid) willing to help

Friend groups, communities

Meet-ups and groups on zoom 

Dating apps

Entrepreneurship groups 

Entrepreneurship masterminds 

 

And more and more. You don't know what you don't know 

 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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Posted (edited)

Topics I want to cover soon:

Building strong relationships with friends, family and a SO 

Self love 

Self esteem, self confidence, boundaries 

Mindfulness 

Career 

Meta learning 

Enlightenment 

Ocd

Mastering emotions 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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Posted (edited)

@modmyth ah nice catch! I think a better distinction would have been advice giving versus when to listen, but both being empathetic 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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next journal iterations: 

80/20 the information 

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