I'm confused.

[Parththakkar12]

Somebody please explain this to me.

When did I say in my last thread that I was 'projecting a feeling of inadequacy' or that 'I'm not taking responsibility'? When did I say anything about my sex-life?

I'm talking about the whole industry and what I find fishy about it. Why is it so hell-bent on proving that men aren't good enough as they are?

I find that this message comes from the dating-industry and it doesn't reflect reality. I find that men are good enough as they are, if they are authentically who they are. Isn't it counter-productive to send men this message that they aren't good enough, if you are a dating-coach? Very very confusing.

[Gesundheit]

2 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

I find that men are good enough as they are

No one is forcing you or any other man or woman to develop yourselves.

If you feel good enough, good. If you don't, join us here and become better.

[Preety_India]

Nobody says they are not good enough. 

But if they are trying to attract a woman, maybe they do things that are not attracting the woman.. 

It's like a woman joining the cosmetic industry to look better to land dates. How would that be wrong? She will attract more men if she improves herself overall.. 

Everyone is attracted to a person who appears like a jackpot. 

The same thing applies to men as well. Women are attracted to men who show qualities that she wants in a man. 

Now if a man is doing nothing to improve his chances, why should he expect anyone to get attracted to him? The logic doesn't work unless you're dating a childhood sweetheart who is not expecting any improvements out of you. 

But if you are looking at a raw dating market, you will need to prove yourself to be a reliable partner to the opposite gender. 

Why else will someone click your profile? 

If I'm a boring person, why will a man be interested in me? 

Same goes to men. 

 

[Parththakkar12]

Oh. I see. It's all about 'doing something'. Right. If you 'take responsibility', then you get to 'do something' and we get to charge you money to help you 'do something'. Goddamn. Ingenious profiteering off of male insecurity.

Whether the advice is good or not, whether it's factually accurate or not, if you 'do something' and 'get results', all your problems will be over!! People won't pay attention to whether the advice actually makes sense or not, whether the theory actually makes sense or not because they're so insecure that they'll 'do' whatever someone tells them works! When it doesn't work, they won't come back and ask you why it didn't work because the money was for the advice, not the results!! The answer you'll get is 'You didn't apply the advice well, you didn't take enough personal responsibility', all pandering to the insecurity.

Well, 'doing something' does sorta work to get female approval. It's the mirror-opposite of being a nice-guy.

The truth really doesn't sell. That's why they won't tell it to you. The truth is that attraction exists from the other side whether you 'do something to create it' or not, that women do as much for male attention if not more. They won't give you information that makes you feel more secure in yourself, they'll give you information that sells.

Another truth is that if a woman wants to reject you, nothing you do is going to change that. Guys want to hear that they can control whether a woman accepts or rejects them. This is also why it sells.

What I'm talking about applies especially to redpill and more unconscious forms of dating advice.

[Gesundheit]

14 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

The truth really doesn't sell. That's why they won't tell it to you. The truth is that attraction exists from the other side whether you 'do something to create it' or not, that women do as much for male attention if not more. They won't give you information that makes you feel more secure in yourself, they'll give you information that sells.

Another truth is that if a woman wants to reject you, nothing you do is going to change that. Guys want to hear that they can control whether a woman accepts or rejects them. This is also why it sells.

What I'm talking about applies especially to redpill and more unconscious forms of dating advice.

This is actually very wrong.

The same way you can repel a woman who was initially attracted to you, you can definitely attract a woman who wasn't. That doesn't necessarily work on all women, but it is still possible. The trick is simple, just raise your sexual market value. There are several ways to do so, and self-improvement is one of them.

Edited March 1, 2021 by Gesundheit

[AdamR95]

26 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

I find that men are good enough as they are, if they are authentically who they are. Isn't it counter-productive to send men this message that they aren't good enough, if you are a dating-coach? 

Men are good enough as they are, nobody force them to develop themself. That doesnt mean they automaticaly deserve to have hot women only because they are men.

 

[Parththakkar12]

@Gesundheit Why would you want to get with a woman who isn't attracted to who you authentically are? That was the first thought that came to my mind. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life walking on eggshells, trying to get her to be attracted to you? I mean, it's all good and fine to unconsciously end up in such a situation, but why would you consciously choose it?

How far are we willing to go to get laid? How much are we willing to sacrifice to get laid?

[Gesundheit]

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

@Gesundheit Why would you want to get with a woman who isn't attracted to who you authentically are?

 

Because she's incredibly hot?

[Parththakkar12]

5 minutes ago, AdamR95 said:

Men are good enough as they are, nobody force them to develop themself. That doesnt mean they automaticaly deserve to have hot women only because they are men.

What if the 'hot woman' in question is attracted to him for who he is? In that situation, who are you to say whether he deserves to have her or not?

Oh damn. I see. The dating industry doesn't like it when a guy is good enough as he is.

Edited March 1, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[AdamR95]

1 minute ago, Parththakkar12 said:

 who are you to say whether he deserves to have her or not?

I am saying that its not automatical that he deserve it only because he is a man. Some need to work on themself and some are naturaly good. In a sence nobody deserve anything, either you are able to atract women or not.

[Parththakkar12]

@AdamR95 Yeah but who has the authority to say whether he's good enough or not? Is it the hot woman in question? Is it the 'results' he gets (whatever those mean. When you talk about 'results', you sorta cease to see women as individuals and you start rating them on a 1-10 scale, that's the general direction you go) Or, is it himself? Or, is it conditioning from a whole society that tells men that they aren't inherently good enough?

[Parththakkar12]

2 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

What IS authenticity tho? You can self-improve and still be authentic

True that. I won't disagree. But, that's not the message from the dating-industry. They say things like 'You have to self-improve FOR GETTING WITH A WOMAN'. The definition of 'your growth', 'your confidence' is all dependent on external results! That isn't authentic, I can guarantee you that.

Edited March 1, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[AdamR95]

9 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Oh damn. I see. The dating industry doesn't like it when a guy is good enough as he is.

Some men are really struggling and need improve themselfs before they can be themself and atract women naturaly or they can accept themself as they are and be single for the rest of their life, nothing wrong with that neither.

[Parththakkar12]

11 minutes ago, AdamR95 said:

Some men are really struggling and need improve themselfs before they can be themself and atract women naturaly or they can accept themself as they are and be single for the rest of their life, nothing wrong with that neither.

Is the 'improving yourself' part about getting with a woman or is it your natural growth-process? Before you tell me that 'the dating industry precisely tells you what that growth is', I'm going to say that's debatable. It's not about personal growth, it's about 'self-improvement' to get female validation.

As someone who has been growing myself because I naturally felt called to it (not for some external results), my experience has been that the dating-advice they give never made any sense to me. I'm not attached to their 'results' or the 'results' they're telling me to chase, which is why I have the courage to have this conversation. It's always 'work out', 'go out and 'talk to girls' (whatever that means)', 'take personal responsibility', like what does any of this have to do with getting laid? They'll say that 'the proof of the advice is in the following of it' and then when you follow it and it doesn't work, they'll be like 'Don't come bitching and moaning to us, figure it out yourself! Rule #1, take personal responsibility'. What an ingenious way to escape accountability.

Edited March 1, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[AdamR95]

4 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

 They say things like 'You have to self-improve FOR GETTING WITH A WOMAN'. The definition of 'your growth', 'your confidence' is all dependent on external results! That isn't authentic, I can guarantee you that.

This is an advice some men need on theirs level of selfdevelopement. It helps to elevate them to a higher stages. From blue to orange.

And it has some truth to it too.

Sometimes its easer to change the external conditions than accept it.

[AdamR95]

1 minute ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Is the 'improving yourself' part about getting with a woman or is it your natural growth-process? Before you tell me that 'the dating industry precisely tells you what those right things are', I'm going to say that's debatable. It's not about personal growth, it's about 'self-improvement' to get female validation.

As someone who has been growing myself because I naturally felt called to it (not for some external results), my experience has been that the dating-advice they give never made any sense to me. I'm not attached to their 'results' or the 'results' they're telling me to chase, which is why I have the courage to have this conversation. It's always 'work out', 'go out and 'talk to girls' (whatever that means)', 'take personal responsibility', like what does any of this have to do with getting laid? They'll say that 'the proof of the advice is in the following of it' and then when you follow it and it doesn't work, they'll be like 'Don't come bitching and moaning to us, figure it out yourself! Rule #1, take personal responsibility'. What an ingenious way to escape accountability.

There are good and bad dating-coaches.

[Leo Gura]

@Parththakkar12 You have been given the answer.

You guys need to stop with these ridickulously self-biased threads in this sub-forum.

If you're going to pursue dating advice, try to do it without so much blind selfishness and self-bias in your thinking. Stop with the gender wars.