Lyubov

How to message on tinder?

33 posts in this topic

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Lyubov how long is your lockdown?

I thought it was lifted by now.. 

nah, in door dining and bars/clubs are still heavily restricted here. it's also quite cold so no one really goes out here during this time to walk around. I don't feel like walking around the mall either approaching girls. basically my window for talking to girls and the volume is quite limited during the day at this time.

Edited by Lyubov

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3 hours ago, Lyubov said:

if only it were that easy ._.

It is easy, you are just doing it wrong.

Like really wrong. Why would you compliment any stranger women?

Your first message shouldn't really be about her. Instead, come up with a line in your bio which states a challenge towards her. It has to be absurd and not serious.

Mine is: "Minimum requirement: you have to be able to do backflips while cooking pancakes"

My opening: "Are you sure you'll be able to do the backflips while cooking backflips?"

So, I don't have to think about opening texts, I just copy paste it to every new match unless I have found something interesting on her profile which worth an other kind of opening. 80% of the time I just copy paste.

Guess what

I get 100% response rate, not just for the first message.

It communicates you have standards, humour, puts you in a frame above her, like you are the job interviewer.

This is how you increase volume without sacrafising too much time and brain power about "omg what to text first"

However, this is just the one step, you have to have your photos be professional and polarizing so they even get to reading your bio.

 

Now, my advice to you:

A)

  1. Delete Tinder
  2. Install Tinder, create a fake hot girl's profile (use pics from instagram models' page, not from google). Try to be a girl for a week or two, see which openings you get you like the most. And also you will get a sense of the competition while scrolling through dudes' profiles

B) Go to YouTube:

Type in Todd V Dating and check his last 5 videos about Tinder. He is the only dating coach you need.

I wish you good luck and commit to learn about attraction and female nature, women will love you for it ;)

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42 minutes ago, Ghost said:

It is easy, you are just doing it wrong.

Like really wrong. Why would you compliment any stranger women?

Your first message shouldn't really be about her. Instead, come up with a line in your bio which states a challenge towards her. It has to be absurd and not serious.

Mine is: "Minimum requirement: you have to be able to do backflips while cooking pancakes"

My opening: "Are you sure you'll be able to do the backflips while cooking backflips?"

So, I don't have to think about opening texts, I just copy paste it to every new match unless I have found something interesting on her profile which worth an other kind of opening. 80% of the time I just copy paste.

Guess what

I get 100% response rate, not just for the first message.

It communicates you have standards, humour, puts you in a frame above her, like you are the job interviewer.

This is how you increase volume without sacrafising too much time and brain power about "omg what to text first"

However, this is just the one step, you have to have your photos be professional and polarizing so they even get to reading your bio.

 

Now, my advice to you:

A)

  1. Delete Tinder
  2. Install Tinder, create a fake hot girl's profile (use pics from instagram models' page, not from google). Try to be a girl for a week or two, see which openings you get you like the most. And also you will get a sense of the competition while scrolling through dudes' profiles

B) Go to YouTube:

Type in Todd V Dating and check his last 5 videos about Tinder. He is the only dating coach you need.

I wish you good luck and commit to learn about attraction and female nature, women will love you for it ;)

You honestly get 100% response rate from that? o.O

I know Todd V, he is pretty good for advice on how to flirt 

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It's pretty simple, actually.

 

You look over their profile.

You ask them a question in reference to their profile

2, 3, maybe 4 back-and-forths.

Then you set up a video/phone call to see if there's chemistry.

 

Corey Wayne, a dating coach, says these phone/video calls should be 10-15 minutes long, and if you two click, you say something along the lines of, "We should grab coffee/tea/drinks, what's your schedule look like?" The idea is that you want something casual that can evolve into dinner if things go well. Take her for drinks/appetizers/tea, and have 2-3 other places nearby, one of them being a spot for dinner. Also, remember to make a definite date, meaning you establish the day, time, and place. And you plan the logistics. She doesn't want to have to do that. She just wants to show up, look pretty, and have a great time.

You want to take her to 2-3 different spots in any given date, because that supposedly has the psychological effect of being on 2-3 different dates, and women are most likely to sleep with a guy after the second or third date. This raises the odds of getting laid on date 1.

 

Read How to Be a 3% Man. It will help you with online dating, and with your dating game in general.

 

For what it's worth, I tend the make the video call a video date - typically lasts an hour, and then I'll reach out a few days later if I enjoyed the conversation. This isn't what Corey advises, but I still have a pretty high success rate. That said, I haven't tried the 10-15 minute approach.

 

Go get em!

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23 hours ago, Lyubov said:

stole your line bruh! you think this is better? think I should add anything else or expand it?

KhIU3C5.png

thanks for the help everyone!

Better but keep working on it. It still feels incongruent to me. That’s the problem with just copying lines, they almost never come off as authentic. Here you go from nice guy asking about her travels to “stay away, I’m a bad boy” real quick. 

@Ghost gave you pretty good advice as well. A challenge that is fun is usually always good.


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https://www.instagram.com/akourakin/

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13 hours ago, benny said:

It's pretty simple, actually.

 

You look over their profile.

You ask them a question in reference to their profile

2, 3, maybe 4 back-and-forths.

Then you set up a video/phone call to see if there's chemistry.

 

Corey Wayne, a dating coach, says these phone/video calls should be 10-15 minutes long, and if you two click, you say something along the lines of, "We should grab coffee/tea/drinks, what's your schedule look like?" The idea is that you want something casual that can evolve into dinner if things go well. Take her for drinks/appetizers/tea, and have 2-3 other places nearby, one of them being a spot for dinner. Also, remember to make a definite date, meaning you establish the day, time, and place. And you plan the logistics. She doesn't want to have to do that. She just wants to show up, look pretty, and have a great time.

You want to take her to 2-3 different spots in any given date, because that supposedly has the psychological effect of being on 2-3 different dates, and women are most likely to sleep with a guy after the second or third date. This raises the odds of getting laid on date 1.

 

Read How to Be a 3% Man. It will help you with online dating, and with your dating game in general.

 

For what it's worth, I tend the make the video call a video date - typically lasts an hour, and then I'll reach out a few days later if I enjoyed the conversation. This isn't what Corey advises, but I still have a pretty high success rate. That said, I haven't tried the 10-15 minute approach.

 

Go get em!

I thought he said that the phone should only last a couple of min. at most because it's just for setting up the date.

 

22 hours ago, Lyubov said:

You honestly get 100% response rate from that? o.O

I know Todd V, he is pretty good for advice on how to flirt 

No guy ever gets 100%. Not even the most seductive man in the world can.

Btw, you should write it in your profile "I am looking for a woman who doesn't argue with me and treats me like a king;)."

Edited by Hardkill

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I'll mull over and try some of the stuff in this thread and report back in a week to see if my response rate has gone up. 

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@Lyubov I would follow Leos advice and not put yourself below the girl. Heres one way I have been able to have a lot of succes and also fun at chatting: I started by writing something like this :hey xx how about a little game to get to know each other :)? And then when she says yes. You answere: okay these are the rules: 1. No boring questions 2. We ask alternately 3. No asking back the same question 4. You start :) and from there one you can play with a bunch of questions here are some examples: if you could live in any phantasy world, which would it be or which is your biggest strength? 

Makes good conversations and at some point you just ask her if she or he for that matter wants to meet up

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Tell them about spiral dynamics

This got me laid once no word of a lie

We actually became fuck buddies and we still talk now days

Thanks Leo ;)

Edited by Thought Art

"When you Look in the sky, Just try looking inside, God Knows what you might find... "Here Comes The Nighttime" -Arcade Fire 

Qigong and Spirituality +Vlog - Thought Art

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What are you trying to do on Tinder? Get laid easily or go on dates and meet a girl you actually bond with? They're pretty different processes tbh.

If you're trying to fuck then basically your best bet is to invite the girl out for drinks within the first 3-4 messages you send her.

You: In some form: hey, you're cute

Her: Some kind of at least neutral or positive response

You: Cool, let's get to know each other better have you ever been to X place(bar within 5 minutes of your place)

Her: Some kind of open or positive response

You: Sweet let's check it out, are you free X day?

Then get her number and set it up. Depending on how attractive you are you might need like 1-2 more message exchanges to build rapport but basically, if she's attracted to you and open to meeting you then this formula will make it happen as fast as possible. If she says anything that's cold, fishing for attention, or wanting more investment from you then basically you are wasting your time and should move on to the next conversation. 

If you live in a big city then Tinder is 100% a numbers game. Your only goal is to maximize your profile and meet as many girls as you can as quickly as you can so you can actually get to know them/vibe with them/sleep with them. Trying to get to know someone through a texting app is asinine, don't get sold into that idea. 

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For me if I ever notice myself sitting there with my thumbs on the keyboard contemplating what to text I already know I've failed. The inauthenticity comes through and girls somehow are able to pick up on it. The best response rates I get are with messages I send without having to think about what I just sent and without picturing how I think the girl is going to react to it. Low investment is the only way to do this. 

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Posted (edited)

Man, online dating is even harder than going solo. Is just so random. You cant rely on it. You gotta treat it like an extra candy someone just gave you. 

 

Edited by Kalki Avatar

The riches of illusion do not even compare to the riches of freedom.  -Sri Sadguru Siddharameshwar Maharaj

 

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