onacloudynight

How to date as a feminine man?

18 posts in this topic

Alright here's the thing I have realized through a lot of tinder and going out that I don't want to be masculine, like at all. I want to be a girl. Everytime I imagine myself in a ideal relationship. It is just two girls together having fun and being happy. Kinda like this picture:

ba1463489cfd44b14c1bd58bb5ce45d4.jpg

How can I actualize this? Time and time again whenever I act in a feminine way towards a girl, I usually get a repulsed look from her and they interpret it as I am gay. There is the occasional girl that likes my feminine energy, but it's rare. Maybe it's where I live. I just don't know where I can go to meet these kinds of women?

Edited by onacloudynight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good for you that you know what you want to be and set out to find people who like that!

 

Just socialize as yourself. If you are accepting and loving you as you are, so will others. Keep mentioning that you are straight, just very feminine. 

You might try LGBTQ-friendly places to find more open-minded people.

If you live in a small town, get out of it, that doesn't work.

 

Do you actively dislike masculinity? Investigate whether it is in your shadow, in which case work on integrating it. That could be connected to people being repulsed. You didn't mention why you don't want to be masculine at all, but it's important.

Also, do you want intense sexuality in a relationship? Then you'll have to look for masculine women. With both people of the same polarity, there won't be a lot of sex and it won't be very hot.

There is the occasional girl that likes my feminine energy, but it's rare.

That's going to be the case wherever you live. Price of wanting something outside the norm. Most women (not all) are most comfortable in their feminine, so they need a masculine pole.

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@flowboy It's not that I dislike masculinity. It's just that something doesn't "feel" right. I feel like my authentic self is more girly and playful. I like to have fun and such and be VERY expressive lol. I feel like masculine energy is too serious and doesn't allow as much freedom for emotional expression, which is what I want.

Part of me thinks sex with two feminine energies would be very fun ? Yeah, one of us would probably be more dominant than the other on some occasions, but I think overall a feminine relationship could work. I will have to try it out.

Edited by onacloudynight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@onacloudynight It's possible. In my tantra organization we call it "dolphin sex"?

Just start being your girly and playful self around lots of new people, and someone is bound to get attracted.

Be aware that you have to meet lots of people, and not settle for anyone who you can't be completely yourself with.

Takes time, effort, patience and resolve.

Edited by flowboy

Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
33 minutes ago, flowboy said:

@onacloudynight It's possible. In my tantra organization we call it "dolphin sex"?

Just start being your girly and playful self around lots of new people, and someone is bound to get attracted.

Be aware that you have to meet lots of people, and not settle for anyone who you can't be completely yourself with.

Takes time, effort, patience and resolve.

Haha thanks for the advice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

It is just two girls together having fun and being happy. Kinda like this picture:

ba1463489cfd44b14c1bd58bb5ce45d4.jpg

How can I actualize this? 

Yo. This is Lord Krishna, boyo. He's very much masculine-- protofascist, and also a chad. 

Yeah, he's showing a bit of a feminine side in this image, but he's savage. 

You're not looking at the whole picture here-- and perhaps in regards to yourself too. 

You're conceptions of masculine and feminine are shallow, and that's probably the issue you're having.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, onacloudynight said:

There is the occasional girl that likes my feminine energy, but it's rare.

What do you expect? Of course it's rare. Most girls want to be fucked by a strong man. You want a rare thing.

Embrace the rareness and look for the rare.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lmao thats Krishna and Radha in Hindu mythology. There's nothing feminine about the relationship. 

He is wearing flowers because he is surrounded by girls. 

He is the most masculine figure. He went on to destroy an evil king as per the myth. He is never portrayed as feminine. 

Jewelry and flowers were common attire for men in ancient Hinduism. But it's not supposed to mean feminine. 

You will need a woman who is compatible and happy with your feminine side. Although that's rare 

Which means you have to work harder than others to get a mate. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Chew211 said:

You're conceptions of masculine and feminine are shallow, and that's probably the issue you're having.

How do you define masculine and feminine?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
45 minutes ago, TheRigorMortisOffset said:

I'm a bisexual woman who blurs the line between masculine and feminine. I'd love to date a feminine man. 

Hit me up ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@onacloudynight If you’re feminine, you will need a masculine woman. That means she will ‘wear the pants‘ in the relationship. 


"Not believing your own thoughts, you’re free from the primal desire: the thought that reality should be different than it is. You realise the wordless, the unthinkable. You understand that any mystery is only what you yourself have created. In fact, there’s no mystery. Everything is as clear as day. It’s simple, because there really isn’t anything. There’s only the story appearing now. And not even that.” — Byron Katie

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

Embrace the rareness and look for the rare.

I I sir! :x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe try OKCupid

From what I've read online there's a lot of "alternative" dating happening there nowadays


Stories are made for children to fall asleep, and adults to wake up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@onacloudynight I'd suggest you focus on connecting with women. If you say you're feminine, don't focus on initiating sex or flirting or anything. Just focus on connection. 

There was a time-period of a good 1-1 1/2 years where I was fully focused on developing my femininity. I am a very masculine guy and at that time, my hyper-masculinity was running me into the ground. I needed more connection and that's what I focused on. Not even dating or sex, connection. 

After figuring out a way to bring in people into my life I feel connected to, then I went to bringing my masculinity into the relationships. Then I started to focus very heavily on masculine seduction!

Edited by Parththakkar12

"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." - Bruce Lee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

@Parththakkar12 how come connection is a feminine trait? Isn't this just a human thing. Genuinely curious 

I don't think it's fully accurate to say that it's a feminine trait. What I would say though is that disconnection is the biggest male shadow today in the world. The patriarchy is a manifestation of this disconnection. The biggest problem with the patriarchy is that it's by men, for men. It is hyper-masculine. There is a serious lack of femininity.

Connection with the feminine within yourself and within women is something that hyper-masculine men lack. This is the problem with hyper-masculinity - it lacks connection with the feminine. This is why if you are a hyper-masculine guy, owning the feminine within yourself is a step towards greater connection and awareness.


"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." - Bruce Lee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now