Hardkill

Do you think this girl was right to block me?

34 posts in this topic

1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

However, I still a lot of times don't get how or when get sexual or more sexual with women.

Requires lots of trial and error. Lots of experience needed.

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Make it more innocent and cute how without getting into the friend zone?

You can be cute and romantical without being sexual.

Here are two better things you could have texted her:

"You are more adorable than a baby polar bear sliding down a rainbow." (stolen line from Jeffy, but it shows you my point).

"I want to build you a house out of Legos and fill it with exotic baby animals."

Neither of these lines is sexual, but they both clearly tell the girl that you are interested in her romantically and so there will be no friendzone from this.

Friendzone happens when you don't make your intent clear. Besides, this is only the opening shot of the battle. There will be many more lines following it which will also subtly communicate your romantic intent. For example, you can literally tell her something like, "I'm taking you for a picnic in the romantical land of enchanted unicorns. Watch out for the rattlesnakes hiding in the pink mist." If she responds positively to such a text, you know she's interested in fucking you. Your intent is clear and you never come off creepy. If she doesn't respond positively then you know she's not attracted to you and nothing you text her will change that.

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I thought that sexual attraction can be built up through text, like how women get turned on by reading those erotic books. :S

That's why I commented. To disabuse you of this time-wasting notion.

You can certainly turn a woman on via texts. I can and have given girls more powerful orgasms via text than past guys ever did with their dicks. But this assumes the girl is attracted to begin with. A very important distinction to learn.

My general rule of thumb is this: avoid explicitly mentioning sex to a girl until you've had sex with her. If you follow this one rule you will save so many blown up sets.

Of course you can be much more edgy and still get the girl. But you needlessly risk blowing it up. Why take that risk? Just to be edgy?

Once you reach the attraction hook-point with a girl, you can get away with some really edgy and sexual stuff. And the hook-point is usually reached within 5 minutes of meeting her face-to-face. But you are not reaching that hook-point via your texts.

If you reach the hook-point, you can politely ask to squeeze a girl's tits, and there's a good chance she will let you. One of the most amazing experiences in game is when you go to the club, hit hook-point within 5 seconds just by looking her in the eyes and smiling, and then politely asking her if you can fondle her tits in front of all her friends, and she giggles and says Yes.

This sort of thing is possible, but it requires really good calibration and understanding of when hook-point has been hit. Hook-point is like the most important thing to getting girls. It's so crucial to be able to recognize. And it's not a function of time because it can happen in 5 seconds with no words exchanged.

When flashy and ballsy game works, it's because the guy reached rapid hook-point with the girl. But foolish newbies think they can do that on a cold girl and it blows up in their face.

When a girl likes you, she will let you get away with murder. But if she has no investment in you at all, you might as well be romancing a brick wall. Don't waste your time romancing brick walls. Look for girls who love you right off the bat. Then sleeping with them will be easy.

The most effective way to get laid is to go to a nightclub, approach every girl and screen immediately for hook-point. Once you find the one that hooks, you immediately screen her for logistics. If the logistics are not optimal, you immediately move on to another girl until you find one that hooks hard and has optimal logistics. Then you pull. Guys who are masters of game have boiled their game down to this. They are very wise to not waste their time.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

Okay, I see what you guys are saying, but I still don't totally get it. Why is it only okay with girls you are friends with or have already done the didily with them? Also, How come it's okay when comedians on stage or on camera make all kinds of crude sexual jokes to a massive audience of people who are all complete strangers to them? I at least met the girl who blocked me on Facebook and she remembered as a decent looking guy who is cool. 

As for congruence, I thought that women aren't logical and get stimulated by emotional inspirations. Even Leo said that girls are turned on by dumb playful words you say than by logical typical words.

Yeah, it still doesn't make sense to me yet.

Because women need you to be in person and to feel safe with you to appreciate any sexual humor... and neither of those bars were cleared. It takes a high degree of social acuity and emotional attunement to do it right. And that just CAN'T come through in text. Women really need to experience your personality in life to get a feel for you.

Mind you, it would even be somewhat challenging to pull off in person to begin with. You'd have to wait until she was already having a great time with you and certain barriers came down even at that to pull off a sexual joke. And it would have to feel free of agenda and be very socially graceful even at that.

Also, women are used to being sexually bombarded. And it can be like being approached by a salesman, which feels frustrating at best... and definitely not arousing. 

And you slid into her DMs which just makes you look thirsty and desperate. Women get those kinds of messages all the time, and it's always like, "Hmm... This guy I haven't talked to in years is sending me a message. I WoNdEr what he wants." 

Also, it reads as socially acceptable when comedians make sexual jokes because it isn't being directed at a specific person and there's not a clear sexual agenda behind the joke. They're just doing stand-up and their joke happens to be sexual. So, it isn't just about making a sexual joke... its about making a sexual joke that's a bit awkward and pointed toward a certain person and is clearly for the sake of fulfilling an agenda.

And it's usually okay if a guy makes a sexual joke to a woman he's already been intimate with as the sexual barrier has already been crossed. If there has already been sex, then sexual humor is pretty normal in that situation. The only exception is if the relationship has changed to such a degree that she no longer wants anything sexual to do with him anymore.

 


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Btw your goal should be to take her out and see her in RL asap and I mean in no more than 5 text exchanges.

Just build some small, playful and interesting hooks with couple of short texts. But no more. Its always risky to go sexual that early, as probably half of the other guys texting her are doing the same.

Be respectful of her time and be respectful of your time. You are just texting her because you liked something about her, thought of a joke, an imaginary scenario with her, about her, about both of you, text that in, have some laughs and go out, you've got shit to do, so does she, you may check your messages tomorrow, 2 days later who knows. Its also crucial not to overthink and design your responses, its way better if you are spontaneous and honest. Girls can see trough this easily. Its mos

Try these out.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Yog

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8 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Hey guys, so recently I've been trying to hit up girls on Facebook to at least have kind of practice in my conversation and seduction skills with women in some safe way without risking getting COVID. So lately I hit up this one girl on Facebook who I first became acquainted with during my 3rd third year as an undergraduate at UCLA and this is how it went: 

Me: hey xxxxx. Idk if u remember me, but I believe that u went to UCLA to study as a math major. We met when I was a junior and u were a         sophmore. 

In any case, I just wanted to say hi.

Her: Hey there! That does sound like me lol

Me: So, have u been an airplane pilot for a while?

Her: I've been flying for 7 years, but getting paid to do it for about 4. What have you been up to?

Me: Oh right on. So, you've been practicing it for a while.

I am in grad school studying for my degree in education.

Btw, do u always take part in the mile high clubs? :P

 

After I sent that last message to her she blocked me. I don't totally get it. I mean, I thought that I made a funny sexual joke. What's your take on this guys?

 

 

 

 

 

You were making a joke about something she values (her career).

Am sure you've heard some jokes about education and the teaching profession that you find demeaning? Same thing..

If not, let me know. I'll post some here...

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11 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Hey guys, so recently I've been trying to hit up girls on Facebook to at least have kind of practice in my conversation and seduction skills with women in some safe way without risking getting COVID. So lately I hit up this one girl on Facebook who I first became acquainted with during my 3rd third year as an undergraduate at UCLA and this is how it went: 

Me: hey xxxxx. Idk if u remember me, but I believe that u went to UCLA to study as a math major. We met when I was a junior and u were a         sophmore. 

In any case, I just wanted to say hi.

Her: Hey there! That does sound like me lol

Me: So, have u been an airplane pilot for a while?

Her: I've been flying for 7 years, but getting paid to do it for about 4. What have you been up to?

Me: Oh right on. So, you've been practicing it for a while.

I am in grad school studying for my degree in education.

Btw, do u always take part in the mile high clubs? :P

 

After I sent that last message to her she blocked me. I don't totally get it. I mean, I thought that I made a funny sexual joke. What's your take on this guys?

 

 

 

 

 

I would forget her, because it doesn't matter. Females often overreact, because they actually interpret more into interactions than there actually is. Key is to learn to be more sensitive of how things could be interpreted.


You can derive it from simple logic

Left means not right

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3 hours ago, wwhy said:

You were making a joke about something she values (her career).

Am sure you've heard some jokes about education and the teaching profession that you find demeaning? Same thing..

She has a really awesome career, and many women often have a lot more hurdles to jump in that area, and already are very aware that they may not be taken seriously. 

You can't know exactly what the trigger was. Could have been a combination of things. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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I think he knows what he did wrong, gaming women isn't about using some funny lines or witty humor there needs to be a genuine connection before you do that, you don't talk about sex to a girl you just met, let alone dm unless there is obvious attraction. Just learn from these experiences and dont do mental gymnastics to paint yourself the victim or else you won't ever make progress.

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Yes, she has a right to block you, simply because there is this option to block people. For whatever reason. And if they block, DON'T run after them, what value they are adding in your life? Just forgeth them. Otherwise, asking for feedback is somewhat valid, and it seems that you are getting it.

Yeah, so don't take it personally and don't waste energy on people closing off to you in any waym

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@Hardkill

17 hours ago, Hardkill said:

Hey guys, so recently I've been trying to hit up girls on Facebook to at least have kind of practice in my conversation and seduction skills with women in some safe way without risking getting COVID. So lately I hit up this one girl on Facebook who I first became acquainted with during my 3rd third year as an undergraduate at UCLA and this is how it went: 

Me: hey xxxxx. Idk if u remember me, but I believe that u went to UCLA to study as a math major. We met when I was a junior and u were a         sophmore. 

In any case, I just wanted to say hi.

Her: Hey there! That does sound like me lol

Me: So, have u been an airplane pilot for a while?

Her: I've been flying for 7 years, but getting paid to do it for about 4. What have you been up to?

Me: Oh right on. So, you've been practicing it for a while.

I am in grad school studying for my degree in education.

Btw, do u always take part in the mile high clubs? :P

 

After I sent that last message to her she blocked me. I don't totally get it. I mean, I thought that I made a funny sexual joke. What's your take on this guys?

 

 

 

 

 

   It's really hard to know the real reasons why anyone would block you. So far from what I read, you've initiated the texting normally, until the last part you escalated by asking a question that assumes integrity with the rest of your statements, when it's too soon to assert such integrity. Here's a re-written version of the text communication:

Me: Hey Blanc, idk if you remember me, but I believe that u (Instead, say "we've both went to) went to UCLA to study as a math major. We met when I was a junior and u were a         sophmore.  ( I'd end this instead with a question about what both of you did together like 'hey, remember that time we did blanc, or remember when my friend blanc did this in class? or Do you still happen to have that blanc with you? Ask any question, or statements, that builds commonality between you both very quickly from the get go, so the conversation feels organic.)

Her: Hay there! That does sound like me lol. (Great opening for some humour. Nothing in your first text showed any specific examples that stood out to her, other than a shared experience of going to UCLA, studying a math major, so ask/state something and go deeper with both her and your experiences together, like "Oh, which part?" or "Yeah, remember that time when you...?' or " Yeah, it does sound like you. Still have the karaoke set we did at...? That was hilarious!'. basically, again, ask or say something that establishes commonality quick that you know you both did together.) 

Me: So, have you been an airplane pilot for a while? ( The transition from talking about you both in school, to asking about her job specifically, is a bit strange. I'd still keep the conversational frame about the school context, and talk and tell stories about the shared experience you both have. If I wanted to transition to another frame, like a vocation, Id go like this " Remember that time when we hanged out at lunch break, and you told me about becoming a pilot, and I told you I wanted to be a blanc? Well, at the time, I was half hearted about it, kinda joking then, but now I've managed to become blanc, and it felt great to be working as blanc in the blanc city area. While working there, a plane passed by, and it reminded me about us back then. Ever been to blanc city, either for work or for vacation?")

Her: I've been flying for 7 years, but getting paid to do it for about 4. What have you been up to? (This question would be answered above, but for sake of variety, you now can lead the conversation thread, to other areas of you're experiences, or still stick to the main frame of this conversation, because she's asking you to state your experiences you've had so far, summarized. You could also improvise, and state what's happening currently, state how it feels, and state how lonely you are, and refer to any other friends you both had made, or state how this current situation is making you miss hanging out with her. Even state how you've recently had a breakup, real or not, to signal to her that you're available to date potentially, like " Lately, I've had enough free time to do some more work at blanc. Before the pandemic hit, I've been visiting other places and meeting some new folks and been dating a girl that lives at blanc. That place has some lovely beaches. However, during the whole pandemic thing, I've just recently broke with my gf. We've been going steady for several months/a year, and even though she lived a city away, I did enjoy our time together. It was just getting difficult for her to keep visiting me/me visiting her, and she's going to work as blanc in another country, so we decided to end our relationship. I'm kinda lonely and sad at the moment :(.")

Me: Oh right on. So, you've been practicing it for a while.

I am in grad school studying for my degree in education. (like the above statements, elaborate and tell a mini story about you, with a little bit of positive and negative emotions, to each situation you've faced. Also, you can make a guessing statement at her, and ask if you're right, like "oh, I guess you're now a pilot? You now own a private jet? That's awesome! What do you do there?". This gives her the chance to correct you, or to confirm, and continue the talking.

Btw, do u always take part in the mile high clubs? :P ( Similar to some users' commentaries, this is the deal breaker here. I've already given an example for how to infuse some emotion and sexual energy into a mini story above. Another approach is to give some excuse to end the texting now, and close hard on her by asking for her number , or times when she's available to text or talk. Say, like " Hey, it's been real good talking to you. I'm feeling much better. Something's come up now, I got to go do blanc. Do you mind telling me when you're available to text? Maybe a number so we could talk? My fingers are cramping from the typing :P. Too much lifting weights.xD", something like this. Light hearted. This way, you can better discern her state of mind and body from her voice, to escalate or not. from over the phone, maybe from texting, you then ask if she's into a cup of coffee at the market, the coffee shop...preferably, the one you both been to before.)

   I hope my analysis was helpful for you. If you found any of it offensive, that was not my intention, sorry in advance. Let me know if this helped you by replying here. or pm me. Have a good day! 

 

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You could also improvise, and state what's happening currently, state how it feels, and state how lonely you are, and refer to any other friends you both had made, or state how this current situation is making you miss hanging out with her. Even state how you've recently had a breakup, real or not, to signal to her that you're available to date potentially, like " Lately, I've had enough free time to do some more work at blanc. Before the pandemic hit, I've been visiting other places and meeting some new folks and been dating a girl that lives at blanc. That place has some lovely beaches. However, during the whole pandemic thing, I've just recently broke with my gf. We've been going steady for several months/a year, and even though she lived a city away, I did enjoy our time together. It was just getting difficult for her to keep visiting me/me visiting her, and she's going to work as blanc in another country, so we decided to end our relationship. I'm kinda lonely and sad at the moment .")

Don't forget to mention too that you're living in your parents' basement, so that she understands that you have family valuesxD

This must be the worst advice I've read on here in a long time.

Whatever you do, steer clear of the advice referenced above, and you'll do just fine?

Edited by flowboy

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Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

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@Hardkill Projection is a bitch. I wouldn’t project an external socialised image of right and wrong to workout whether what another person has done is right or wrong. If you solve projection here, you hit many birds with one stone. How you resolve projection is through actual social negotiation and understanding the personal individual, avoid assumptions based on cultural values, although in general they can often be a useful frame for understanding others, but for you properly making sense of the world, they’re not, just something to pay respect to when it’s right to do so, which is something you determine with your personal conscience.

Edited by Origins

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Okay, I think I am now getting what everybody on here has been saying. Thank you all very much for all of your help. 

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@Hardkill Any kind of practice where you put yourself in there shoes will allow you to understand how they are experiencing the conversation. Then from there just tailor what your saying to match there needs. 


How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being?

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@Hardkill

1 hour ago, Hardkill said:

Okay, I think I am now getting what everybody on here has been saying. Thank you all very much for all of your help. 

   Your welcome! Good luck on your dating progress.

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