5 meo, fears and being a heroin junkie

[Patrick_9931]

This is what happened to me during the 5 meo peak:

As I was laying down with my eyes closed and my body was dissolving, I had this really  really vivid fear that was showing me that I was a sort of heroin addict that assumed this substance and that now he’s in bliss because he overdosed and he is going to die.
The fear also showed me that actually I’m deluded as fuck and I’m thinking that I’m doing this spiritually but I’m just a desperate addict that was so deluded with this whole spirituality thing that he overdosed on this “spiritual” substance to the point of death.

now I don’t know if I explained that properly and if you understood it, because this sensation that I have before and ego death is really hard to articulate to me. And btw it happened to me even with lsd and also something similar to this happened with weed, it’s a recurring pattern of mine

Why do you think I have this fear emerging in me? Do some of you experience something similar to this ? Do you think I have this fear due to all the cultural influences that I had ? Maybe because of films like “train spotting” and “ we children of Berlin zoo” 

Thank you for your responses  

[Thought Art]

54 minutes ago, Patrick_9931 said:

This is what happened to me during the 5 meo peak:

 Do you think I have this fear due to all the cultural influences that I had ? Maybe because of films like “train spotting” and “ we children of Berlin zoo” 

Thank you for your responses  

Yea. relate to them better.

I eat food too.

Edited February 1, 2021 by Thought Art

[Nahm]

@Patrick_9931

The mind is using the duality of you & substance to weave a new story for shame. But not two. You imagined shame (twoness). Let it go, rather than focusing on what isn’t serving your creating. If you inspect the fear thoroughly enough, you’ll uncover the assumption you woke up this morning, which gently peeled away bears the motive & cover story of “awakening”, and “substance”. Don’t bear it, bare of “it’s”. (Not two). You are not deluded at all, those are thoughts...about a “you”. 

[Space]

@Patrick_9931 Intense fear is quite normal during a 5-MeO session, and i'm sure it can manifest in a hundred different ways. This must be let go of and released in the moment as soon as it arises. Don't hang around in the fear. The letting go doesn't really happen by itself so you must be willing to surrender. Bad trips come from not letting go. 

4 hours ago, Patrick_9931 said:

The fear also showed me that actually I’m deluded as fuck and I’m thinking that I’m doing this spiritually but I’m just a desperate addict that was so deluded with this whole spirituality thing that he overdosed on this “spiritual” substance to the point of death.

There is much further to go past the mental stories like the one you described. Let go let go let go. Go for Infinity, go for Eternity, go for Actual God.

[Leo Gura]

Fear on a trip is a sign of the devil leaving your body