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Vytas

How to ask a girl out in a lost situation?

18 posts in this topic

Situation: I messaged back and forth with this girl. I asked her for a number so we could chat on the phone. She replied why not to go for a walk instead, she likes seeing person live. So I said sure, lets do it. On a scheduled day she wrote I can't go out today. I said something like "when would you like than? Given you still want to meet" and she didn't replied. 

My thoughts/feelings: Of course in ideal situation I would burry this case and move on. But she seemed fun and relatable, also quite my type, and I think that she might ghosted me because of my poor pictures on tinder. I feel like if we would meet in person she would realize that in-person we are same 'league' and have much in common. At least I think so from a few days of messaging with her.

Question: should i try to ask her out one more time? If so - what is the way?

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40 minutes ago, Vytas said:

On a scheduled day she wrote I can't go out today.

She lost interest or met someone else. Move on.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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@Gesundheit I expected this answer and yet did not wanted it, and you served it. Thanks ?

Any opinion/suggestion is welcome here. Your opinions on this are most effective for burning my illiusions/blindspots.

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I feel you man, this all tinder thing is so frustrating.

''Given you still want to meet"  I think that this communicate lack of confidence, i am not saying that this is the reason but who knows.

Communicate as though you are certain that she  wants. :)

Edited by kras

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You’re too needy.Who gives a fuck if she didn’t reply.Get your shit together homie.


I'm not friendly.

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2 hours ago, Vytas said:

Situation: I messaged back and forth with this girl. I asked her for a number so we could chat on the phone. She replied why not to go for a walk instead, she likes seeing person live. So I said sure, lets do it. On a scheduled day she wrote I can't go out today. I said something like "when would you like than? Given you still want to meet" and she didn't replied. 

My thoughts/feelings: Of course in ideal situation I would burry this case and move on. But she seemed fun and relatable, also quite my type, and I think that she might ghosted me because of my poor pictures on tinder. I feel like if we would meet in person she would realize that in-person we are same 'league' and have much in common. At least I think so from a few days of messaging with her.

Question: should i try to ask her out one more time? If so - what is the way?

Don't analyze it. Don't just assume it's because of your tinder pics or whatever. 

Don't even assume it's a no.

Just push until you get a yes or a no. Obviously don't spam or whatever, but ask her out. 

Also be hitting up more chicks. Don't get attached to any chick in particular, especially if you haven't done the didily with them yet-- they sure as hell ain't gonna be attached to you until then either. 

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1 hour ago, kras said:

I feel you man, this all tinder thing is so frustrating.

''Given you still want to meet"  I think that this communicate lack of confidence, i am not saying that this is the reason but who knows.

Communicate as though you are certain that she  wants. :)

Chad

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@kras Well yeah ? this thread shows that. Her just not answering showed me that jup I am creating expectations and investing emotionaly too soon. Basically I am too egoic. Its true.

 @Evil Raccoon will do ?

@Preety_India @Chew211 Seems that leaving it and moving on is simple and wise next step

Thank you - people from the internet - for your input ??

Others perspective is precious

 

Edited by Vytas

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21 hours ago, Blackbeat said:

Chad

Wish i was :D

Edited by kras

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20 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@Vytas take care. You deserve a better person. 

Be with a person who respects and values your time and presence. 

 

This is something that i had to learn long time ago. :)

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1 minute ago, kras said:

This is something that i had to learn long time ago. :)

Better late than never. Life can only be lived forwards but understood backwards . 

Best wishes 

 

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@Vytas She could still go out with you. Your texting is just not the best here.

Don't ask girls to plan out dates and logistics. Instead, tell her. You should have told her: "Good, let's go walking tomorrow at 7pm at place X."

Just assume she is free. If she's not, she will tell you and you can say, "When are you free?", she will tell you, and you will adjust the time. You should also pick dates and times when she is likely to be bored and free.

Wait a day or two and ping her. Sometimes girls are just busy with life.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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I wouldn't be wasting my time on Tinder anyhow, the women are not serious enough (in terms of looking for a relationship) and if they're serious they're not intelligent enough to realise that Tinder isn't the place for serious dating/related or they're just naive, which is something I'd screen for. As seriousness increases you've gotta intelligently analyse the environment and act accordingly. You have the whole world.

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On 1/28/2021 at 5:36 PM, Preety_India said:

@Vytas take care. You deserve a better person. 

Be with a person who respects and values your time and presence. 

 

?

On 1/28/2021 at 2:31 PM, Gesundheit said:

Okay, so I checked it. Damn this really hit me. Dude is definitely right on the "importance of Volume" part and "Soup" texting. Thanks.

I haven't exposed myself to theory behind dating because a few videos that I watched seemed delusional. But this Mike guy nailed on the volume-confidence relation part. Its really simple concept, yet somehow I thought it doesn't apply to me. Now I see it does. I need to increase volume waaaay more.

On 1/29/2021 at 1:58 PM, Leo Gura said:

Don't ask girls to plan out dates and logistics. Instead, tell her. You should have told her: "Good, let's go walking tomorrow at 7pm at place X."

Just assume she is free. If she's not, she will tell you and you can say, "When are you free?", she will tell you, and you will adjust the time. You should also pick dates and times when she is likely to be bored and free.

Wait a day or two and ping her. Sometimes girls are just busy with life.

Noted

10 hours ago, Origins said:

I wouldn't be wasting my time on Tinder anyhow, the women are not serious enough (in terms of looking for a relationship) and if they're serious they're not intelligent enough to realise that Tinder isn't the place for serious dating/related or they're just naive, which is something I'd screen for. As seriousness increases you've gotta intelligently analyse the environment and act accordingly. You have the whole world.

Thats why I never created an account. But it is lockdown in my country. So I figured, until bars/cafes reopens I might as well see whats up with this Tinder thing.

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