somegirl

Question for guys - Have you ever wanted to be a girl just to be able to give birth?

126 posts in this topic

3 hours ago, Understander said:

@Gesundheit

I have been living away from my family (but not entirely on my own) for about 10 years. When I compare it with the another 10 years, I see the pros and cons of it.

I have become an "independent" thinker, I'm doing practical part that is needed for me and just only being away from them has made me grateful for what they had done for me. Even I love them, I can't overlook the beliefs that they have planted in me. Every time, when I question them, they get angry at me, but eventually they understand it or they don't care about it. Where I'm living, having family is the most important thing to do and questioning it will be one of the hardest things to do. So, what I'm saying is, yes giving birth is beautiful experience, but should you have that experience is a belief. And why do anyone would want that, because he/she is surrounded by the people that hold that belief. And questioning that belief can be a "sinful" thing to do to them. This belief has kind of served its purpose, but it is time to be conscious. I'm lucky even to be able to question my beliefs, but that doesn't mean I should not do it nor should anyone.

I think it will take years that people will consciously want to have a baby.

 

Hmmm, group-think sounds like a possible answer. Although, I think there is a biological component to it too.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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1 hour ago, tsuki said:

@Preety_India Sorry, can't tell whether you agree or disagree. I feel like you just repeated my previous post.

When I'm agreeing with you, think that I'm agreeing with you. When I'm disagreeing with you, think that I'm agreeing with you. Both ways you're winning. 

 


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@Gesundheit

I haven't thought about that. So, thank you. Maybe, I'm naive in this case.

But, I would say that group-thinking has a massive effect on how we act and think.


Seeking Truth

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3 hours ago, Gesundheit said:

Looks like you haven't read the comments here.

You missed the rest of the paragraph that contained the point.

The distinction between wanting to have a baby (women) and wanting sex (men) is relatively recent. So saying that men don't want babies is inaccurate because men want sex.

Edited by tsuki

The true heresy is hearsay.

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5 hours ago, tsuki said:

You missed the rest of the paragraph that contained the point.

The distinction between wanting to have a baby (women) and wanting sex (men) is relatively recent. So saying that men don't want babies is inaccurate because men want sex.

Of course men want babies. What sort of a fucked up perception is that? We won't have a population of 8bn if men didn't want babies. 

 


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13 hours ago, tsuki said:

Wanting to have a baby :).

It's worse than that. Most babies are just accidents of horny drunk people.

Without alcohol the world's population would be 10% of what it is today ;)


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Just now, Leo Gura said:

It's worse than that. Most babies are just accidents of horny drunk people.

How about millions of people who marry and plan to have kids? 

Are you completely blindsiding them? 

 


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Haha maybe in eastern Rusia. Unless Adam and Eva ate a strong sour apple .

On the other hand, I can admit that when you are drunk you really want to ...

 

Edited by tedens

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21 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

How about millions of people who marry and plan to have kids?

How did those people meet? At a drunk party. Why did they meet? Cause they were horny. Why did they form a relationship? Because they were addicted to fucking each other.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

How did those people meet? At a drunk party. Why did they meet? Cause they were horny.

They met because they fell in love. People meet in offices, at a friend's house, at a wedding. People set up dates. People meet online. People meet at a Cafe. 

People meet at a sports club. 

People meet at a tournament. 

People meet at a rehab. 

People meet in a class of foreign language. 

People meet at an airport. 

People at a friend's dinner. 

People meet on a movie set.

People meet at a rally.

People meet at tourist spots 

People meet at university. 

People freaking meet anywhere and out of all the places in the world, you only got a "drunk party"?? 

People don't have sex right away. 

They meet, they greet, fall in love, meet again, have sex, marry, plan to start family, have kids. 

Oh please, try to think about people who are Normal around. 

I met my boyfriend at a meditation retreat, not at a drunk party 

I don't even drink. I never had drunk sex. 

You pigeonhole too much. 

 

4vlv8p.jpg

 

Edited by Preety_India

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2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

They met because they fell in love.

Lol

Cute


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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6 hours ago, tsuki said:

The distinction between wanting to have a baby (women) and wanting sex (men) is relatively recent. So saying that men don't want babies is inaccurate because men want sex.

o.O

How is wanting to have babies similar to wanting to have sex? They're completely different experiences.

Most men don't daydream about having babies. But for women, it seems like an important part of their psyche. This thread is a perfect demonstration of that. Notice that most of us would not care to think seriously about having a baby, let alone going to the edges of the earth to have them (by exchanging genitalia). But most women would go through pregnancy and labor to have a baby, even though it is an unpleasant experience overall.

In other words, maternity desire is high even though the struggle is high, but paternity desire is low even though the struggle is low. Why is that? Are most humans masochists?

Edited by Gesundheit

If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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15 minutes ago, tedens said:

@Leo Gura  Isn't every thing of Love?

Including turds, yes.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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5 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

How is wanting to have babies similar to wanting to have sex? They're completely different experiences.

True. Agreed. Smh I don't get how people mix that. 

Them Thar Mix. 

 


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@Preety_India

42 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

They met because they fell in love. People meet in offices, at a friend's house, at a wedding. People set up dates. People meet online. People meet at a Cafe. 

People meet at a sports club. 

People meet at a tournament. 

People meet at a rehab. 

People meet in a class of foreign language. 

People meet at an airport. 

People at a friend's dinner. 

People meet on a movie set.

People meet at a rally.

People meet at tourist spots 

People meet at university. 

People freaking meet anywhere and out of all the places in the world, you only got a "drunk party"?? 

People don't have sex right away. 

They meet, they greet, fall in love, meet again, have sex, marry, plan to start family, have kids. 

Oh please, try to think about people who are Normal around. 

I met my boyfriend at a meditation retreat, not at a drunk party 

I don't even drink. I never had drunk sex. 

You pigeonhole too much. 

 

4vlv8p.jpg

 

@Preety_India

It only appears on a surface that these are different things, but if you look closer, you will find deep interconnections and how it all actually is directly related with parties

People go to sport clubs so they can look better at parties

When you go the park, you are usually just on your way to some party

Airport is how you go to a party in a different city

What is a university, really, if not a 4 years of non-stop drinking and partying, lol

Meditation retreat is when you get rid of hungover very effectively to go to the next party faster

Friend's dinner is basically partying as well

I don't know, Preety, seems like you're missing something here

Edited by Hello from Russia

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21 minutes ago, Gesundheit said:

Most men don't daydream about having babies. But for women, it seems like an important part of their psyche. This thread is a perfect demonstration of that. Notice that most of us would not care to think seriously about having a baby, let alone going to the edges of the earth to have them (by exchanging genitalia). But most women would go through pregnancy and labor to have a baby, even though it is an unpleasant experience overall.

 

In other words, maternity desire is high even though the struggle is high, but paternity desire is low even though the struggle is low. Why is that?

I guess I'm one of those women who never had the experience of an innate maternal drive, for most of my life I found this incredibly alien. I was pretty vocal about it too when I was younger, and it's not just because of my upbringing or my relationship with my mom exactly, though it factors into it. A lot of women still have the drive to have kids and end up acting on it despite their circumstances, so I don't think it's it. It's probably my personality.

To find something like a maternal drive inside myself, it's like I had to entirely dig through the person I am in this life and to see if there was anything at all underneath it. I feel like I understand and empathize with it more now, but what I don't understand is letting that drive/ desire override thinking about it logically. Like will you pass down lots of intergenerational trauma to your children? What about the future of the world and the environment at large; what kind of world are your kids and possibly your kids' kids going to grow up in? Can you feasibly support a growing dependent being emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually? Stuff which I was preoccupied with as a teenager and I would bring up when this came up in conversations with either adults or people closer to my age range.

I usually got wAiT TiLL yOu'Re OlDeR from adults (like you'll be 30 then your maternal drive will kick in and then you'll desperately want to have babies because hormones and biological programming), and I was like no, I know that's not going to happen. But the prospect of losing my mind and sense of ethics and values in this way BECAUSE HORMONES is kind of alarming haha... And then there were guys closer to my age who basically told me something was wrong with me (either mentally or physically) or that I was lying because every female has a maternal drive (so clearly there is something wrong with you). It's like we were friends, and then we weren't after that.

 

Edited by modmyth

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@modmyth I think your mom put some sort of fear of child birth or some sort of shit like that pretty early on in your mind, which can be good as well as bad at the same time. A lot of mommies do that to protect their daughters, but sometimes it can create a lacuna and some sort of a predisposition against childbirth and having children in general which may or may not create a guilt-regret complex as you age and see others having babies, or a feeling of "missing out" when you become granny age and don't have small children to talk to. 

 


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