HERO_

I'm completely alone

14 posts in this topic

I'm completely alone, I don't have close friends ( I know a lot of people but they're not close friends ) most of them are my clients. I have a dysfunctional family and narcissistic siblings .. I've set boundaries and I don't talk to them anymore, I'm single I'm not ready for a relationship,I don't feel lonely at all..my concern is what if I needed support like if I got sick or if something dramatic happens, etc. 

Is it normal\okay to be completely alone? Is there anyone here completely alone too? .. I feel so weird for being alone.

Edited by HERO_

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@HERO_

It's totally okay to be alone if that's what you want. There's no shame in any choice.

The question is, is that what you want?


 

 

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Your situation is like mine. Exact.

Hang in there. It gets better. 

You don't need anyone for anything. You only need yourself 

Don't think about the part where you'd need someone. 

Most people fall in toxic relationships because they worry too much about being alone. 

Be independent. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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Close friends are worth developing, and being okay with being alone is a great trait to have, because then you can make friends that genuinely vibe with you as opposed to friends for the sake of friends. 

I'm fine with being alone too, but a lot of my growth happened when I had support from friends who I consider my family. 

Close friends can help you become more you (authentic)

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I have experienced the scenario you describe.

I needed to go to the hospital and did not have the strength to carry my backpack of essentials into the ambulance. Things like my phone charger to maintain any contact with the outside world, or much-needed moisturiser to shower in comfort. It was very frustrating. Then came the joy of returning home to clean up the blood.

And yet, compared to the horrors of a dysfunctional family, all this is quite manageable. 

As for ageing later in life, it doesn't bear thinking about!

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4 hours ago, HERO_ said:

Is it normal\okay to be completely alone?

No matter who you're with, you're still always alone.

If you want friends, go make them. If you don't, then don't.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@HERO_ I am in a similar place. I am alone but using it to create myself, and I am slowly attracting a tribe. 


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

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@HERO_  same boat here, been living completely by myself for 3 years in a new city. It tricky when u have to give a contact or need a hand moving furniture. Holidays can be a downer sometimes, but they're overhyped anyway. I was talking to the barber the other day, and she was shocked that I can't go anywhere on Christmas and have no plans for it.

It's definitely a balance, and I'm not a proponent of complete Isolation. I've been on both ends of the spectrum, where I've spent years of my life socializing, and now all my time by myself.

I think something is lost when you're in a group of people. You're in a different mind set, you start to think more collectively and focus on externalities, rather than perceiving clearer, deeper and more being introspective. Shared activities are nice, but often I don't find them to be very conscious. A group's state of consciousness will gravitate towards the average, which is not ideal sometimes. I also write this as an extrovert, my natural state is being very communicative and social. 


"Beyond fear, destiny awaits" - Dune

 

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Understand ur point

I feel a bit like you, but i want friends and a social network..but dunno why it feels ppl get "bored" of me if u do not support their biased lifestyle. 

Tried to fix in that but i do not live that lifestyle so they end up cutting all contact. I am not superior nor inferior to no one. I am just me..so i do not get the point on what's wrong. 

Also, being too intelectual does to help with most ppl trust me. You need to fix their level to even talk or socialize.

Yeah, it's a pain

But that's how i've seen it goes with unconscious ppl. 

 

 

Edited by ertopolice

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I'm alone too for the most part, I'm in a similar situation. I live with my dysfunctional family, I talk to them sometimes but barely. Planning to move out to another province on my own. I've been single my whole life, I'm in my mid-twenties. I've had a lot of good close friends though growing up, but these days I mainly look for quality friendships so guess what I have no close friends now. I can message some old friends I've had in the past if I wanted to, but I choose not to. I just don't feel like we're on the "level."

But I don't mind it, I'm used to it and learned to love it. There's no reason for me to dwell on it.


"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." - Albert Einstein

 

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From the right view, aloneness is a gift. Use it wisely. 

If you find yourself in this situation and feel bad about it, I would suggest don't try to change it but look at it from all the possible perspectives and fully accept it as your experience. Just be you. Don't try to be 'normal'.

Then, if you still desire, go and find a company of your liking.

 

 


softly into the Abyss...

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@HERO_ You can stay like that if you want, but I don't recommend it. This is a spirituality forum, so I think answers to these kinds of posts tend to gravitate towards that subject, but I don't think that it really answers the post in this case. I don't think being alone for too long is good for humans. It has a tendency to make people get a little unhinged, and it seems like it's unhealthy. I recommend at least finding more online communities related to things you like, and who knows, you might make some friends there. Just be careful. You might find that having a close friend allows you to grow farther than you could have alone. Were all built different though so maybe this is the best place for you. I have not a fucking clue. I can only share what's in my experience. Best of luck to ya!

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