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Megan Alecia

Thank You

10 posts in this topic

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I could've died a couple of days ago; me and my dog. Reflecting on it I thought the idea of just stopping there- a brief moment where I had dealt with something that's been bugging me for a while- seemed so free and pure. It is sort of "nirvanic" to me, in retrospect.

So yeah, I had a little piece of broken glass... I actually wasn't able to foresee the pain that would ensue, at the time. But then again, what comes after is eternal bliss, fucking nirvana, without a past and a future, to interpose some Oscar Wilde. 

Anyway, I have an obsession with this eternal sleep thing, I think. 

I miss some days which has happened a long time ago... bright and cool mornings. And a naive desire to connect. 

The title is "Thank you"... just hoping that this decision is something I will be able to thank myself for in the future. 

Edited by Megan Alecia

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." — James Joyce

My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWwoor0pG0isF4tltOlwzRw

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Looking to explore lessons by Rumi, Meister Eckhart, Gurdjieff... you know, if these people are just like you and me, who've had similar countless challenges and obstacles in their lifetime... what's stopping us from listening to them? 

We see the word "cult" being thrown around so gratuitously nowadays... this is a sign of how disconnected every fucking one of us is. 

Edited by Megan Alecia

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." — James Joyce

My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWwoor0pG0isF4tltOlwzRw

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My goals in life: 

- Creation

The "divine gift of creative fire", as Jung put it

- Mental stimulation

The sx instinct

- I want to communicate with the world (especially with a set of people who like what I do) through beautiful art

I don't want influence... more like just opening people's minds. To me influence is more of a deceptive thing, not what I'm into at all

- I want a glamourous life, even tho I don't like catching up with people too much

- I want a special "other" but... I want a stable and not so dramatic lifestyle with them

- I want to have that feeling of wonder always. This is the monomyth, the universal mandala, man's need for meaning... 

- I want to thrive and be as good as people who are the same... I can be competitive sometimes. Haha. 

Edited by Megan Alecia

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." — James Joyce

My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWwoor0pG0isF4tltOlwzRw

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How do I work? 

- Through courage, knowledge, and self-discipline/self-mastery

Courage is the ability to go through life's goings on... To own every part of yourself (metaphor of Horus and Set), to accept your neurosis and intelligently work on it. 

Knowledge is to be on the path of the ancestors, or simply "dao"... To be wise is to powerfully apply these things in your life events, with the right vision for fact (truth) and fiction. 

Self-discipline is (always desiring the same things - Seneca)... Also persistence. Constant seeking for truth and beauty and love (synergistic attraction). Self-mastery is what Sadhguru calls "memory."... Haha. The ability to always apply intuitive practices that you've learned. 


"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." — James Joyce

My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWwoor0pG0isF4tltOlwzRw

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What am I looking for? 

What is the philosopher's stone? 

I have no idea. I think the term freedom to 'be' is really close. But not without a price.... We all live in this fleeting universe yet the answer seems all the more elusive as time goes on.

I can't really solve the world's problems without solving my own first. But what is it? 

Edited by Megan Alecia

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." — James Joyce

My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWwoor0pG0isF4tltOlwzRw

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I like the idea of "working to connect or find intuitive connections between different esoteric teachings". I haven't read or dabbled in any official alchemical texts yet because I'm worried that it may get too obscure. 

My main thing to avoid is getting too solipsistic with it. I don't want to force the connections. I mean, that comes without saying anyway. 

The systems: 

- Gurdjieff

- Naranjo/Chestnut enneagram

- enneagram insights from blogs

- gurdjieffian insights/modern distillations from blogs

- Tarot / Tarot in relation to someone who's very intellectual (to get that yinyang angle lol)

- Teal Swan (search for good ideas/insights)

Edited by Megan Alecia

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." — James Joyce

My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWwoor0pG0isF4tltOlwzRw

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I really want to finish my instincts blog. I want to prove to myself that its possible, that I don't have to wait each day in order to make some wonderful discoveries... And who said that anyway? 


"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." — James Joyce

My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWwoor0pG0isF4tltOlwzRw

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