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Dean Walker

Realisation or not?

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A couple nights ago I felt like I had what some would call a realisation or partial awakening but I don't really know, it personally felt like one.

So I quit smoking weed on New year's Day and the other night I was sat up past 3am and was feeling strange energies or unsettled. I was conflicted on having a doobie as I had feelings it was something at the time was right with how I was feeling, but also thought it might have just been my addiction trying to worm its way back in. Anyways I decided to have one with raspberry leaf as I also quit tobacco and this is what followed..

I went to bed and was seeing some fairly apparent closed eye visuals (I take psychedelics once every couple of months so in comparison to those CEV's). 

Then I had an almost intuitive feeling come up that when I was younger I'd stare eyes wide open at a single point and see some wierd things, so I did. 

What resulted was my entire visual field changing and I just kept looking at it in awe, and at this moment I felt I had the deep understanding/realisation that we, and everyone else hallucinates their entire reality.

Why I feel this was a realisation was because I've understood this logically for years, but never 'felt' it or seen/done it personally. I stayed in this state for around 2-3 minutes and had tears of joy streaming down my face as I was seeing it.

Can anyone expand or have you had a similar experience?

Edited by Dean Walker

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Ofcourse it is an realization,  a minor one! But it was still an unraveling of reality 


Let thy speech be better then silence, or be silent.

- Pseudo-dionysius 

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It did feel like one, but when you hear Leo or other people talking about realisations it's hard to visualise what that process looks like. Thank you.

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