Preety_India

Is it good to live like a hermit?

31 posts in this topic

Sometimes I get these thoughts that I should probably take a big break from humanity altogether and it will shut down some of the restlessness I experience.

But then I think that such behavior will lead to more repression and awkwardness. Human beings are social animals. 

But I'm kind of fed up with both social media, dating and socialization. It feels empty and fake. 

Let's say if I went on a retreat for 3 months, will I get homesick? 

I'm curious to know what you guys think about being a hermit for life? 

 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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Maybe take a nice holiday for a few weeks and see how you feel then. :)

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@Preety_India Feel you. 

You don't have to become a hermit in order to take a break from humanity, social media, dating and so forth. 

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I'm curious to know what you guys think about being a hermit for life? 

Ask yourself, what does the hermit seek? The answer will show you, that there really is no need to become a hermit. 

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Let's say if I went on a retreat for 3 months, will I get homesick?

That nobody can tell you, you have to find it out for yourself. Take me for example - when I left my parents house, I didn't feel homesick at all and I intensely enjoyed the life that consists of not talking to anybody for weeks. My friend on the other hand, missed his family and our home town so much, that he couldn't handle it, and so he went back home. 


"Love is all that I can give to you ❤ Love is more than just a game for two!"

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JErVP6xLZwg 

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@Tim R  I'm an extreme introvert. 

My biggest moments of peace were always in Solitude. 

Although I like laughter and chatter around me, I haven't experienced much of that anywhere around me recently.  

Social media and being around people feels toxic, there is no flirting, laughter or chatter, it's just a ton of meanness circulating around.. 

I constantly have to put up peace signs ✌️✌️✌️✌️ just to peace out, out of every conversation. Then I begin to think, "why am I even here, what am I doing? Why am I even talking to people? How is this helping?" 

I was basically a hermit all through school. 

Then since college I rapidly climbed the social ladder, got rid of social anxiety, made friends, was active on social media for years, had a long string of romantic relationships, enjoyed flirting, enjoyed traveling. 

But as time went by and the burden of failed relationships grew on, there was a sense that I had accomplished greatly with social skills but the price was too high and that price was mental peace. 

Finally I come to this day that I suddenly feel like life is a mirage. All that I worked so hard for was not meant to bring the best outcome. 

I am in the phase of "been there done that, now what".. It doesn't feel good. 

I doubted myself many times and thought that I'm simply  being negative and hung on to it. But it's getting tiresome and I don't see the benefit of hanging around people anymore. It's more burden than comfort. 

I mean what's the point of trying to fit in with people and come home exhausted and alone and think that it is simply draining my energies. I'm not sure if this is a standard experience for most introverts. But for me it is. 

I guess being around people is good as long as it quenches the curiosity and the thrill. After that it is not worth a lot. In fact with more socialization, the cost keeps getting higher and the benefit margin keeps narrowing. 

After a certain point it just doesn't have a payoff. In fact it eats into your time and energy that could be well spent in important spiritual developments.. 

I don't know if I am just being cynical or if there is a grain of truth to what I'm implying.. 

This decision is not easy.. 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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@Preety_India I can relate very much, I'm also extremely introverted and I have often thought about leaving society altogether and becoming a hermit. Or living (at least temporarily) in a Shaolin or Zen monastery. But as I said, you don't have to become a hermit in order to - what? What exactly is your goal? Spiritual work without distraction? 

A real hermit doesn't have to leave society.

You don't have to become a sort of Vanaprastha to get what you're looking for.

Because whatever you're trying to escape from, you'll take it with yourself into the mountain forest^_^

 


"Love is all that I can give to you ❤ Love is more than just a game for two!"

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JErVP6xLZwg 

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@Preety_India I didn't know you're introvert, I thought you're the opposite.

I'm an introvert too, and a involuntary hermit for life.

No one can be a happy hermit for life.

Maybe you only need to cut down on the social stuff, not eliminate it completely.


Dang you consciousness. All my suffering is because of you. Actually you are responsible for all suffering in the entire universe, throughout all time.

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I agree so the answer is IGTOW

Individuals going their own way. 

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Living life as a hermit and communing with God is a hardcore and genuine path. It can bring you definitive happiness, but only if you are ripe for it. Many mystics and sadhus throughout times have gone down this route. 

But, of course, just the possibility of this choice won't even compute for the typical cushy twenty first-century ape, i.e. most of us. It does take a truly inner calling. ;)

Imo, what you need right now is a simple break and also a laser-sharp focus on defining your life purpose ASAP. Any idea what it could be? That would give you clarity beyond measurement.

Edited by SirVladimir

MINDVENTURE, my own book genre, featuring dreamlike, idealistic, and alluring short stories:

www.vladimirhlocky.com

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Here's an idea, next time you get a weekend or long weekend of 3 days from work book an air bnb somewhere nice and preferably quiet, don't bring very much of your own things. ONLY use your phone to communicate for emergencies or with family/loved-ones.

Sit there and meditate as much as you like, read, relax, sleep in, etc.

Do anything and everything you can to detach from the stresses of humanity for that time, see how you feel when you get back into the world.

 


"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."

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4 minutes ago, Roy said:

see how you feel when you get back into the world.

Wouldn't I feel the same way as before if I got back into it? 

Edited by Preety_India

INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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11 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@Tim R  I'm an extreme introvert. 

My biggest moments of peace were always in Solitude. 

Although I like laughter and chatter around me, I haven't experienced much of that anywhere around me recently.  

Social media and being around people feels toxic, there is no flirting, laughter or chatter, it's just a ton of meanness circulating around.. 

I constantly have to put up peace signs ✌️✌️✌️✌️ just to peace out, out of every conversation. Then I begin to think, "why am I even here, what am I doing? Why am I even talking to people? How is this helping?" 

I was basically a hermit all through school. 

Then since college I rapidly climbed the social ladder, got rid of social anxiety, made friends, was active on social media for years, had a long string of romantic relationships, enjoyed flirting, enjoyed traveling. 

But as time went by and the burden of failed relationships grew on, there was a sense that I had accomplished greatly with social skills but the price was too high and that price was mental peace. 

Finally I come to this day that I suddenly feel like life is a mirage. All that I worked so hard for was not meant to bring the best outcome. 

I am in the phase of "been there done that, now what".. It doesn't feel good. 

I doubted myself many times and thought that I'm simply  being negative and hung on to it. But it's getting tiresome and I don't see the benefit of hanging around people anymore. It's more burden than comfort. 

I mean what's the point of trying to fit in with people and come home exhausted and alone and think that it is simply draining my energies. I'm not sure if this is a standard experience for most introverts. But for me it is. 

I guess being around people is good as long as it quenches the curiosity and the thrill. After that it is not worth a lot. In fact with more socialization, the cost keeps getting higher and the benefit margin keeps narrowing. 

After a certain point it just doesn't have a payoff. In fact it eats into your time and energy that could be well spent in important spiritual developments.. 

I don't know if I am just being cynical or if there is a grain of truth to what I'm implying.. 

This decision is not easy.. 

When I catch myself feeling indecisive, I ask myself this question. Which option feels like peace or rest? Now peace or rest does not mean you are running away from something or that you are going to go into a period of laziness (or who knows your situation may need some time of inaction to clear your head). Rest/Peace means what seems like the most rejuvenating to my soul. This feeling isn't avoidant, it isn't manic, rather it is very calm and intuitive. 

That can be different things to different people depending on their situation. For some people "rest"  looks like putting themselves out there more and letting loose. For others it means retreating from the world for a bit. For some people, putting themselves out there is getting exhausting because they have fully exhausted that need and therefore not a healthy decision for them. For others, they feel like they are going stir crazy from being in solitude all the time so that isn't a healthy choice for them. It's not about the choice you make rather it is the mindset you are using to make that choice that determines whether it is healthy for you. 

I bolded the statements that I thought were telling. From what I understand, you have lived out all your needs in regards to the external world as far as putting yourself out there goes and now you want to take a break from that. But there is only so much I can understand. I can't feel the right answer for you. I don't know if this desire to retreat is coming from avoidance, and therefore resistance, or if you want to go towards solitude, and therefore seeking it out or authentically manifesting what you want. I hope that makes sense.  


The heat that you curse in the summer is the same one you yearn for in the winter. 

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I couldn't do full on hermit but I definitely would love to live in a self sufficient high conscious farm or village.  As long as they have wifi of course 😉


My Imagination is a Monastery and I am its Monk- John Keats

 Join me and SirVladimir for a collection of short stories, guided visualizations, and other forms of lucid/immersive daydreaming. MindVenture Facebook group  (this is not a meetup, merely a mutual interest in lucid daydreaming) 

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17 minutes ago, seeking_brilliance said:

I couldn't do full on hermit but I definitely would love to live in a self sufficient high conscious farm or village.  As long as they have wifi of course 😉

Good. I thought of that too. 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Wouldn't I feel the same way as before if I got back into it? 

Give it an honest try, and see.


"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."

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Just now, Roy said:

Give it an honest try, and see.

Have you tried something like that. I hope you don't mind me asking a personal question. 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Have you tried something like that. I hope you don't mind me asking a personal question. 

I haven't done retreats for specifically meditation or consciousness work, but I do plenty of "retreat like" things alone in nature to recharge and escape modern society. Away from technology and people.

My road trip out West where I'm living now I was alone and just went to countless provincial parks on the way. On my Christmas break I drove hours to the north of Vancouver Island to explore one day just to see what was there, alone. Just coffee and the radio to keep me company.

Also don't get the impression in your mind that is has to be something huge like a week long trip. You can incorporate daily activities that give you the state of mind you're looking for. A bicycle is a very cheap investment and you'll be amazed at the places you can go while getting some exercise. 


"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."

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Just now, Roy said:

I haven't done retreats for specifically meditation or consciousness work, but I do plenty of "retreat like" things alone in nature to recharge and escape modern society. Away from technology and people.

My road trip out West where I'm living now I was alone and just went to countless provincial parks on the way. On my Christmas break I drove hours to the north of Vancouver Island to explore one day just to see what was there, alone. Just coffee and the radio to keep me company.

Also don't get the impression in your mind that is has to be something huge like a week long trip. You can incorporate daily activities that give you the state of mind you're looking for. A bicycle is a very cheap investment and you'll be amazed at the places you can go while getting some exercise. 

That sounds fun. 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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1 hour ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I don't know if this desire to retreat is coming from avoidance, and therefore resistance, or if you want to go towards solitude, and therefore seeking it out or authentically manifesting what you want. I hope that makes sense.  

Avoidance was when I was in my teens. Not so much now. Now it's sort of exhaustion and frankly given up because it consumes more and produces less. 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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I used to be a bigtime performer. I traveled across the country and played stadiums and major festivals. I was used to playing to crowds of 30K+ every weekend. Had thousands of friends, and dated alot. About 3 years ago I gave it all up. Retired from performing, let go of all my friends and communities, and became celibate. All to dedicate myself to spiritual path. Within those 3 years, I barely see anyone. I have one friend I hang out with regularly. And I see my parents about once a month. I get food and supplies delivered. So mostly I am fully removed from society. And I'm the happiest I've ever been. Heck, I have so little desire for companionship, I don't even want a pet. I have zero drama in my life. I don't have to navigate other people's issues, needs, traumas, egos, projections, etc. I do what I want, when I want and no one has any control over me whatsoever. I figure I will do this for the rest of my days. So to anyone considering the hermit life, know it can work and is wonderful.  

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9 minutes ago, Sempiternity said:

I used to be a bigtime performer. I traveled across the country and played stadiums and major festivals. I was used to playing to crowds of 30K+ every weekend. Had thousands of friends, and dated alot. About 3 years ago I gave it all up. Retired from performing, let go of all my friends and communities, and became celibate. All to dedicate myself to spiritual path. Within those 3 years, I barely see anyone. I have one friend I hang out with regularly. And I see my parents about once a month. I get food and supplies delivered. So mostly I am fully removed from society. And I'm the happiest I've ever been. Heck, I have so little desire for companionship, I don't even want a pet. I have zero drama in my life. I don't have to navigate other people's issues, needs, traumas, egos, projections, etc. I do what I want, when I want and no one has any control over me whatsoever. I figure I will do this for the rest of my days. So to anyone considering the hermit life, know it can work and is wonderful.  

Omg thank you so much. Thank you so much. 

You came directly from God to help me in time. 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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