Is female sexual aggression and confidence hot to men?

[Luc1nda]

For context, I'm 17 and have no sexual experience but I have an intuitive feeling of what would be 'hot', as I've been in a relationship, (which turned out to be abusive)

I would consider myself to have an androgynous personality, I tend to be more 'masculine' in personality and I'm drawn to things that men gravitate to, such as fields like mathematics, physics, gaming or whatever really, anything big which women often aren't interested in, and always have the desire to do more for the world. At the same time I also consider myself an artist and can understand people well and I always make sure I look the best I can in looks. In short, if there was a spectrum of masculinity and feminuity i'd be somewhere in the middle, shifting a little to the masculine side. 

What I've noticed growing up is that my sexual urges often gravitate me being somewhat aggressive and assertive, but also enjoy the feeling of letting go and being controlled, but I dislike always being in that position, often at times I want to be the one initiating control and being somewhat the one in power, but not always. 

So I ask this question for sometime in the future when I start to leave the nest to look for a mate, is it hot to initiate control and be somewhat aggressive for a woman in the dynamic of sex? Of course I'm aware that in order for the dynamic to work out, the woman does have to give in and submit, but other times will it work out and give the man a good experience if I initiated and was the one 'giving'?

Sorry if this is a shallow question, I'm learning more as I get older. 

(edit) : When I think about it more, what I mean by "sexual aggression" is something like confidence and wanting to be the one to approach. 

 

Edited January 19 by Luc1nda

[Leo Gura]

Yes, girls who are too passive are not as hot as those who are a bit sexually aggressive but still willing to be feminine and ultimately surrender.

A passive dead fish is not the ideal. In general I find women to be too lazy in bed, putting in too little effort -- and that is not cool. Such girls are not worth keeping.

Be proactive in the bedroom and you will retain more guys.

[Luc1nda]

@Leo Gura Thank you! Exactly my intention to be more pro-active, I never really understand why women would be so lethargic and unenthusiastic, Its an exciting experience not worth wasting.

When I start being sexually active I'll most likely learn a lot more about how men think sexually. I always understood their personality to an extent but sexually not so much. 

[somegirl]

23 minutes ago, Luc1nda said:

@Leo Gura Thank you! Exactly my intention to be more pro-active, I never really understand why women would be so lethargic and unenthusiastic, Its an exciting experience not worth wasting.

When I start being sexually active I'll most likely learn a lot more about how men think sexually. I always understood their personality to an extent but sexually not so much. 

I would assume, if a guy experiences that, it's because she just isn't into him as much/doesn't love him/isn't attracted to him. 

Otherwise she would definitely behave differently in bed.

[Luc1nda]

@somegirl Good points, its a complicated dynamic, from what it seems anyway.

I guess it depends on both the girl and the attraction between them.

Personally however, if I wasn't interested in a guy and was in that situation, I'd still wanna please them, unless they just aren't contributing whatsoever and in that case i'd give up, but there'd still be a lack of enthusiasm without attraction. 

[somegirl]

4 minutes ago, Luc1nda said:

@somegirl Good points, its a complicated dynamic, from what it seems anyway.

I guess it depends on both the girl and the attraction between them.

Personally however, if I wasn't interested in a guy and was in that situation, I'd still wanna please them, unless they just aren't contributing whatsoever and in that case i'd give up, but there'd still be a lack of enthusiasm without attraction. 

Yeah, but it will be forced and a guy would be able to feel it too (or not). 

Lack of enthusiasm and passion in bed usually indicates that one (or both parties) is not attracted to other partner as much. 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, somegirl said:

I would assume, if a guy experiences that, it's because she just isn't into him as much/doesn't love him/isn't attracted to him. 

Otherwise she would definitely behave differently in bed.

Lol

No. Some girls are just lazy, timid, and inexperienced. It's not a lack of love. Good sex, like all things, requires skills and training. And few girls are interested in training because they expect to coast by on "love".

"As long as we have love, the sex must be good, right?" Wrong.

[Preety_India]

 

Is the age of 17 allowed here? 

So what is the age bar on this forum? 

 

@Leo Gura

Edited January 19 by Preety_India

[Megan Alecia]

@Preety_India I hope you're not implying an age ban. I'm 17, and the stuff I post at least in the journal I actually expend a lot of time and intuition to. 

Edited January 19 by Megan Alecia

[Preety_India]

@Megan Alecia don't put wrong meanings. I'm asking Leo for information. 

Let him answer. 

[Megan Alecia]

@Preety_India Don't put words in my mouth. You're implying something, and I've got a feeling that you know it too. 

Leo if you're reading this, I'm sure you can smell the gaslight-y tone here man??? 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Megan Alecia said:

@Preety_India Don't put words in my mouth. You're implying something, and I've got a feeling that you know it too. 

Leo if you're reading this, I'm sure you can smell the gaslight-y tone here man??? 

I'm only asking a question. So stop making something out of it. 

 

[How to be wise]

@Preety_India Why would there be an age limit on this forum? 

[Preety_India]

@How to be wise there is no place on the internet that doesn't have an age limit. 

[Megan Alecia]

2 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

@Preety_India Why would there be an age limit on this forum? 

I think in one of Leo's videos he said people should start actualizing at age fifteen. Also in his young people video he encouraged them to reflect about sex. Banning teens would be quite an unhealthy blue move imo, unless they start posting porn links. Which is of course made illegal by our mods here... 

Edited January 19 by Megan Alecia

[aurum]

Some amount of assertiveness is fine, even appreciated. Given that you're 17, I have a feeling that what you're imagining is aggressive is actually quite tame.

3 hours ago, Luc1nda said:

(edit) : When I think about it more, what I mean by "sexual aggression" is something like confidence and wanting to be the one to approach. 

I've had girls approach me. And I gotta say, after having done probably upwards of a 1000 approaches in my life, it's kind of nice to be on the receiving end every once in a while. Most guys would likely feel the same as long as you didn't come off as clingy.

[Roy]

Yes, it is absolutely a breathe of fresh air. A woman who knows what she wants sexually and intimately, and is willing to take even just some initiative on it is a BIG plus. Of course if she acts like the full-on female equivalent of a pick-up artist it completely shatters the cultural paradigm most men have had programmed into them, it becomes an automatic turn off in the back of their mind - They assume there MUST be something wrong with her, she's either crazy, wants to have a baby (with anyone), or has STD's, etc. This is just basic desperation though, any self-respecting person is warry of those things.

It's all in preference. Extremely feminine, quiet, tiny women waiting to be swept off their feet can be super attractive and desired by a lot of men. However they can be left disappointed if too many woman play into that trope assuming it will always work out for them. As @Leo Gura said the negative sides of that is it's very easy for them to be lazy, overly shy, or incompetent sexually. They are told too often to just sit there helplessly, waiting for a stunning champion to come in on a horse and save them and do everything for them. It's a great thing this is changing though and women are being liberated and not shamed for exploring the full range of experiences that men have typically had access too for MUCH longer.

Personally I find it most hot when a woman is sure of herself to some degree and has some experience to learn from. It's exhausting being with little girls who take no responsibility for their own sexuality (or development for that matter), or with the really good looking ones that know they can make most men dance for them like baboons. Either of those types I completely avoid just to save the money and time lol.

I barely have enough energy to manage and develop myself, let alone help work on an entire other fucking person.

But @Luc1nda you did bring up something important at the end of your post when you said "giving". If you want to have a great relationship and attract quality people , make sure you're approaching that part of your life focusing on the stuff you can "give". Of course be sure to watch out and don't let people take advantage of you, if things are working out healthily you should be compensated as well.

 

 

 

Edited January 19 by Roy

[Sempiternity]

I personally love aggressive women. My ex when I met her, said that she had a hard time with men because she honestly scared them. When she let herself be her sexually aggressive self, it made men uncomfortable. But when she met me, I allowed her to be fully herself. Whatever she brought to the bed, I could match. 

So be warned that the world is full of boys that get scared by strong women. But some day, after weeding thru all the boys, you'll meet a man that appreciates and nurtures your aggressiveness and strength.  

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Is the age of 17 allowed here?

Yes

Quote

So what is the age bar on this forum? 

@Leo Gura

There is no explicit age limit.

Nor could one ever be enforced.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

Yes

There is no explicit age limit.

Ok thanks.