I've hit Rock Bottom

[Preety_India]

I've hit Rock Bottom. And I need to get up and keep moving. Things have been terrible lately. 

Not coping well with my depression and it seems like I'm sliding down. 

I was kinda depressed over the last two weeks.. 

Some of my insights came from the depth of my sadness and helplessness 

But I'm trying.. 

I'm trying to get up. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm better off dead. 

 

But guess I have to live this life one way or another. 

This is my record of me trying to get back to normalcy after hitting rock bottom. 

I'm still in the rock bottom stage and I feel absolutely miserable. 

Maybe in a month or two I will be in better place.. 

I just hope and pray that I'm able to pull myself out of my personal hell 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I just can't help it. 

I cried so badly yesterday. I cried for hours. 

Everything was hurting. Literally everything. 

Wish God could see my tears. 

I feel so small and helpless. 

If I died, at least I'll die with a clean conscience. I will die with a good heart. 

I have never treated anyone badly. It's just cruel how I get treated. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I believe that God saves people who come to him in deep pain. 

I think God won't betray me the way humans do. 

 

 

[Roy]

I was in an unfortunate place yesterday as well @Preety_India. You know what I realized?

All just bad thoughts, stop thinking! Stop THINKING. STOP. THINKING!

Thoughts don't = reality. Reality = reality.

[Elevated]

Have you sought professional help?

[Natasha]

@Preety_India You'll get through this. We are rooting for you.

[Preety_India]

@Roy thank you for the support. 

 

@Natasha  thank you for the support. 

 

@Elevated  I have a therapist that I contact whenever I need help. She was on vacation last week and I didn't wish to bother her. But I'll be contacting her next week. 

[flowboy]

@Preety_India Have you tried Leo's Forgiveness exercise? I really like it.

?

[jjer94]

@Preety_India

I know EXACTLY how that goes, Preety. Nearly every single night for the past month, I've sobbed in my closet. 

Rock bottoms suck so bad. Feels like you'll be trapped in the pain forever. You won't, but that doesn't disregard the agony of feeling trapped in it.

Rock bottoms are forceful. No escape. The only way out is through. 

I know that little kid in you who's scared out of her mind, who wants to just leave because it's too painful. I have a little kid like that, too. She doesn't want you to act on her impulses. She just wants love, respect, and attention. She needs tending to. She needs to be heard.

In the meantime, just know that we're all rooting for you. ?

[Preety_India]

@jjer94 thank you so much for the kindness and support. 

May God bless you. ❤️

I'm trying everyday to overcome my issues and been feeling slightly better since last 24 hours. 

I will keep a track of my progress on here. 

I hope everything is well for you as well. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Leo's words are so encouraging. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Yesterday my family decided to give up on me. 

They don't want to talk to me anymore. 

It's heartbreaking. 

 

But I'm trying to console myself. 

If nobody loves me, then there is God to love me.. 

God wants me if nobody wants me. 

. It's ok. 

[Preety_India]

This man is my hope. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

When one is on the path of enlightenment, one will be protected by the Higher Power, and will have the wisdom and love to transmute energies which do not serve.. Trust the one.