SamC

Girls struggle more in daiting than we realize

63 posts in this topic

45 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I mean you could lean into certain aspect of your in born masculinity or femininity. Lets say you are 60% masculine and 40% feminine. The way I see it, you could learn to embrace that 60% masculine, develop that masculinity and learn to lead with it. You could do the same with that 40% feminine aspect as well. But leaning into one aspect or developing one aspect doesn't change the composition of one's polarities. If anything, only focusing on one polarity and ignoring the other is a sure way to create a ton of shadows and contradictions in yourself because you aren't being authentic. 

 

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Polarity isn't something that can be put on from the outside by making yourself fit into stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. In fact, you can't make yourself more masculine or more feminine.

They are fixed qualities. Everyone has an inborn masculine/feminine signature.

Therefore, you can choose to be conscious of your natural signature and to express it authentically. Or you can repress it and try (unsuccessfully) to write something else over it.

So, a man who is 80% masculine and 20% feminine will be most polarized to a woman who is 80% feminine and 20% masculine. 

A man who is 60% masculine and 40% feminine will be most polarized to a woman who is 60% feminine and 40% masculine.

This is also true for polarization in same-sex couples.

So, while it is true that opposites attract... you are thinking in incorrect ways about polarization.

The only way to find your polar matches are to express what's actually there. If you try to cram yourself into some masculine stereotype, all you're going to do is reduce your own potency and ability to attract who you're most polarized to. It will dim your light and few moths will be drawn to it in an authentic way.

Also, divorce rates were lower in the mid 1900s because it was a huge social stigma back then. It doesn't mean that people were happier. Once "no fault" divorce was allowed, the suicide rates for women dropped quite a bit. 

You can't determine the quality of a relationship based on longevity. And the divorce rate has NOTHING to do with how good relationships were back then. It's all about social expectations.

And respect has little to do with what a person does for a living. Respect is derived from noticing someone who has virtues.

Throw off the shackles of these stereotypes or forever feel alone having to perform a caricature of masculinity to be lovable. 

I largely agree with all of these points. However, from what I've been taught women generally are sexually appealed to and respect men who are 80% masculine and 20% feminine. Even this feminist dating coach named Layan Bubbly mentioned how if you sound too feminine or flamboyant around women then they generally will not find you sexy. 

She mentions this at around time mark 9:26  

Also, here's perhaps a more fair or reasonable take on how men and women can have a healthy and effective sexual/romantic relationship with each by Healer Jake Woodard: 

 

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1 hour ago, neutralempty said:

@Emerald @soos_mite_ah

I alright, I watch till 32:00 min.

nothing so far in it had a reasoning as to why the levels of femininity would be capped in dependence of the levels of masculinity for everyone statically. As far as I saw it, femininity is a ground layer to be expressed by masculinity.

I believe the use of percentage is not appropriate here, since it doesn't follow that feminity can be overtaken by too much masculinity. It's more like on top of my femininity I use masculinity to instantiate. There is no masculinity to dive in without a femininity giving it the potential, as far as I can follow.

Unless the point is the following, there is a level of energy to distribute which makes up 100%. I can choose to distribute 40% of it into the femininity from which I can use the rest 60% to instatie the feminity via masculinity. 

But regardless, nothing says there is no possibility of expansion or refocus for both.

And I believe hormones have a say in that.

But maybe I misunderstood something.

To understand this, it must be understood that the percentage ratios of Yin/Yang are described from a relative perspective of being a human being that is perceiving the world.

Just like up/down, big/small, beginning/end... we can experience them in from the relative human perspective as having a substantial existence that we can understand and relate to. But there is no such thing as up/down, big/small, beginning/end in any absolute sense.

But if we take on other perspectives Yin/Yang, it could also be said that there NO duality there... aka non-duality. And that would be true, as all is one thing.

But there is another perspective which paradigm that sits in the middle of the absolute non-dual perspective and the relative human perspective. 

And this is to recognize that everything is infinitely Yin and Yang.

As a visual metaphor, if you could imagine zooming into the Yin half of a Yin and Yang Symbol... you would find it was made up of its own Yin and Yang symbols. Then you could zoom into the Yang side of one of those symbols, and still find more Yin/Yang symbols.

So, in the relative human sense, it is a fixed quality. But you can become more conscious and more developed relative to your inborn Yin/Yang signature. But the way to become more magnetic is to own both of your polarities and not grasp towards one and repress the other.

But in the other perspectives I mentioned, everyone is infinitely Yin/Yang and everyone in another sense is neither Yin nor Yang as even that dichotomy is a false dichotomy. 

But in-so-far as it concerns attractiveness to a partner, your best bet is to own your energetic signature completely and develop your core potentials that stem from that signature.


If you’re interested in developing Emotional Mastery and feeling more comfortable in your own skin, click the link below to register for my FREE Emotional Mastery Webinar…

Emotionalmastery.org

 

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On 9/1/2021 at 5:36 AM, Lionhead said:

 

 

Women don't want to be viewed as pieces of meat. The only reason that you (if you're a man) gets nervous when talking to women is because you're treating the conversation like a potential sexual encounter. It's better to take sex out of the equation and just talk to women like their just people, in a relaxed manner without an agenda. You just make friends and if it escalates into a sexual relationship then that's alright.

 

That's if you got game. Sexuality will be there it just be subtle which is actually the most elegant and effective way 

If don't you will end up in the friend zone ?

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