tsuki

2021: 25/7, self-reliance and grounding

54 posts in this topic

9 hours ago, tsuki said:

Also, Gurdjieffian idea of Biospheric symbiosis came up. I seem to be conscious of the origins of this knowledge, as complete understanding of the Self. Enneagram is truly a magnificent tool. I wonder whose survival it facilitates. 

 

@tsuki I like how you’re learning about and opening up the enneagram in ways that I never have. 
Biospheres symbiosis is a specific term I never encountered. Doing a google search and encountering a website containing many Forth Way concepts. It felt very synchronic to see on that webpage also a link to Jana Dixon’s Biology of Kundalini,  http://biologyofkundalini.com/ 

After pondering a little more I wanted to equate Biospheric symbiosis with Gurdjieff’s descriptive term “Iraniranumange” from his book Beelzebub’s Tales to his Grandson.

https://ae.gurdjieff.org.gr/terms/en50/0290.htm

I appreciate you providing all this food for thought and hope my intellect is up to the task of interpreting and stepping down the information in the post you just made about the 64 hexagrams of the I CHING.


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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2 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

@tsuki I like how you’re learning about and opening up the enneagram in ways that I never have. 
Biospheres symbiosis is a specific term I never encountered. Doing a google search and encountering a website containing many Forth Way concepts. It felt very synchronic to see on that webpage also a link to Jana Dixon’s Biology of Kundalini,  http://biologyofkundalini.com/ 

After pondering a little more I wanted to equate Biospheric symbiosis with Gurdjieff’s descriptive term “Iraniranumange” from his book Beelzebub’s Tales to his Grandson.

I encountered Biospheric Symbiosis in I.G. Bennett's book "Enneagram studies". 

The book teaches that Enneagram is an archetype of action, represented by the 9-pointed star symbol. It allows the user to uncover hidden structures and interactions within a specific manifestation of the Enneagram. It is characterized by being a one, self-stabilizing, "surviving" organism that is composed of three independent processes called: passive, active and neutralizing. When considered locally, these processes seem to be in opposition, but globally, they form a self-supporting union that tends unbounded growth, and something similar to sublimation. These three processes are external to the Enneagram, while the Enneagram itself shows innner interaction of these systems: linearly, cyclically and exponentially. 

Gurdjieff famously considered humans to be a manifestation of the Enneagram, by being three-body-beings that turn food into cosmic consciousness. Bennett's book uses the Enneagram to map various manifestations - one of them being, the Biospheric symbiosis, which is the Enneagram of three processes: 

  1. The Transformation of the Human Selves into Individual,
  2. The Evolution of Humanity,
  3. The Spiritualization of the Biosphere.

The author argues that we, as humans are completely blind to the third process and the solution of modern problems cannot come from the first two processes. Only by owning our purpose within the third process, we will receive the necessary intervention required to sustain us. I believe that it is very much in line with what the I-Ching teaches.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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Had an interesting mind-flash today when I was walking to work. Was contemplating my life as a body and it occurred to me that I have direct access to existence as Life, or Biology. Basically, the body I exist as, as well as all of its senses, and everything it perceives, is a distinction made by Life. 

I really don't know how to put this to words. I don't want it to get confused with evolutionary biology as an indirect mode of acquiring knowledge by scientific method. This is a living realization that had shifted my experience.

The Life force that perfected living organisms, at some point, made a distinction that had led to the first organism to have sight. Simultaneously, a possibility of observation of the world was introduced. Even though it seems mundane, it isn't. I don't know how to express this properly.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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Today I woke up at 1 AM with racing thoughts. Several manifestations of the enneagram became apparent:

  1. Hero's journey
  2. The progression of the career of a programmer
  3. The interactions between authenticity, sincerity and profilicity

My understanding of the Enneagram, Alchemy and Numerology deepened a lot. These three are interrelated and they give birth to a lot of interesting thoughts. The nature of these structures is such that they are not really suited to plan one's life, or give direction to it. I can't properly articulate it yet. When I consider something through the Enneagram, I see the connection between progression of time, and the existing manifestations of the archetypes that the cycle goes through. As if the Enneagram somehow connected time and space, or maybe time and eternity.

Sorry for being cryptic, I'm trying my best.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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I've been reading "Facets of Unity" by A.H. Almaas and I was wondering about his vivid descriptions of the experience of Being. I mean, I can't really say that I experience my being, and it bugs me. For example, he seems to describe the spacious omnipresent "presence" that I identify as my presence, and I cannot honestly say that I experience myself this way.

I've been contemplating a bit my experience of "me", which seems to be the emotions that I view to be inside of my body. When I was trying to grasp why exactly I think that my emotions are inside of my body, I couldn't really say. I think that I am the space in which emotions occur, but this space is somehow juxtaposed on top of my visual field, as if these two "spaces" were distinct. When I'm scanning my body, I imagine blackness in which emotions occur. As if, I could either focus on them, or on my sight.

Will keep contemplating this. 


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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Had an interesting thought yesterday. For the longest time now, I'm asking myself what is it that the world really needs right now. I mean, what is the biggest problem right now that I could contribute towards solving?

And, for the longest time, nothing comes up. Yesterday, for the first time, I had a thought that this world maybe isn't such a bad place that needed saving?


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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16 hours ago, tsuki said:

I've been reading "Facets of Unity" by A.H. Almaas and I was wondering about his vivid descriptions of the experience of Being. I mean, I can't really say that I experience my being, and it bugs me. For example, he seems to describe the spacious omnipresent "presence" that I identify as my presence, and I cannot honestly say that I experience myself this way.

I've been contemplating a bit my experience of "me", which seems to be the emotions that I view to be inside of my body. When I was trying to grasp why exactly I think that my emotions are inside of my body, I couldn't really say. I think that I am the space in which emotions occur, but this space is somehow juxtaposed on top of my visual field, as if these two "spaces" were distinct. When I'm scanning my body, I imagine blackness in which emotions occur. As if, I could either focus on them, or on my sight.

Will keep contemplating this. 

@tsuki I really get what your saying.

Being overly intellectual will definitely derail the experience of simply being. Or thinking about your emotions. Or emoting. Or imagining,,,,whatever,,,
This might sound odd but in the past I had a practice called playing stupid or sometimes playing dead the way the characters on the movie the sixth sense were portrayed except I knew I was dead (pretend dead). When I played pretend dead I would go off into the national forest and get on a mountain top. This seemed to really go well with that practice. When I role played being really stupid, that was something I could do anywhere and I was a natural by the way. Later on I realized the similarity here to beginners mind. These things helped me touch a state of inner quiet, although briefly.

Besides my homemade practices, really getting into Eckart Tolles “Power of Now” had the effect of quieting my mind and getting a taste of being as well. Of course there were other books too. This was way before I got into Centering Prayer meditation which is plutonium good for getting a quite mind.

By the time I was in my thirties overthinking, monkey mind, incessant internal dialogue was absolutely chronic. 
I guess my point is the experience of simply being requires a quiet mind and anything you can do to get there will help. And like a savings account which accrues interest, I feel inner quiet works the same way in relation to having the experience of simply being. The fact that it’s so simple it seems kind of absurd.

At one point pondering how internalized images were the building blocks for ego structures made something click which made some things fall away.

I don’t want to sound like I think I’m bomb proof solid with my states, stage, realization, etc., Just wanted to throw out some things as food for thought. Excuse me,,, Being. ?
Oh, I left out the biggie. Becoming grounded in your body. In your belly center or hara. You’ve probably heard this stuff I mentioned, aside from my homemade practices, a hundred times.

Later,,, ?‍♂️


"To have a free mind is to be a universal heretic." - A.H. Almaas

"We have to bless the living crap out of everyone." - Matt Kahn

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1 hour ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

This was way before I got into Centering Prayer meditation which is plutonium good for getting a quite mind.

I heard you mention this practice multiple times, I will look into it.

1 hour ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

By the time I was in my thirties overthinking, monkey mind, incessant internal dialogue was absolutely chronic. 
I guess my point is the experience of simply being requires a quiet mind and anything you can do to get there will help. And like a savings account which accrues interest, I feel inner quiet works the same way in relation to having the experience of simply being. The fact that it’s so simple it seems kind of absurd.

Yes, this is definitely a good description of me being in my thirties :D.

Thank you for the tips. Yesterday I learned that a collegue of mine went behind my back to my boss to state his issue with what I plan to do. Getting angry over it at home seemed so pointless. Yet, the mind was just below the tipping point. I wish I could just let go. If practices help with that, I will do them.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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Few weeks ago, I was inspired by Peter Ralston's video about mastery, in which he encouraged the listener to think of something nobody else thought in my domain of mastery. I sat down and considered software development as a process and noticed that I think of it in terms of producing goods. I considered the other creative process, which is apparent in nature, and using the Enneagram, I developed a method that works by growth, rather than production. Ever since then, I've been busy building the software that will enable this kind of cooperation between programmers and I am genuinely excited about the direction this project is heading.

Technically speaking, it will be a data streaming social network in a peer-to-peer environment. This is all I have to say about it right now.

What I love about programming is that I can come up with an idea and use my skill to engineer, and execute it. This is nothing like electronics, or mechanical engineering, where considerable amount of resources are required to begin production. I am very glad that I transitioned into this career.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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I just finished my one week vacation from work. We went to Cracow and did some sightseeing for a few days. Apart from being great fun, there was also a personal-development aspect to it because I put myself in different circumstances and had the opportunity to examine my mechanical behavior. Specifically, the apartament we rented was a small room with little windows and it was covered in mirrors to brighten and expand it. I had an opportunity to watch myself from unfamiliar angles in an unfamiliar place, which freaked the hell out of my animal. Of all the things that I could have noticed, I picked up on my self-righteousness, anger and pride.

First of all, I think that I'm too smart and successful to take care of my appearance. My wife has been bugging me for years to put some tan on, and I never knew why it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right because I thought that I shouldn't concern myself with such trivialities. I am lying to myself about how attraction works. The most ridiculous assumptions that I have, is that my apartament is the expression of my parents' love and that IT MAKES ME ATTRACTIVE. Mentioning that something is not right about it triggers me. This has been the pain-point of our marriage for years because my wife loves to mess with things from time to time and replace stale stuff. For the longest time, she wanted to move out to a different place, and I never knew why I resisted it so much. Maybe the very thing that she felt to be so stifling was my pride all along?

I also clearly noticed for the first time the difference between real anger and ego-anger. Real anger comes about as a reaction to injustice. Ego-anger is the expression of self-righteousness, of perceived moral superiority over another person. I made a commitment to observe it and cease my loyalty towards it. For years, I was choosing to be loyal to my self-righteousness. This will stop now.

I consulted I-Ching about loyalty towards ego-emotions and it turned out that my perceived intellectual superiority was instilled in my by my grandfather and it was creating a poison arrow, which I promptly removed. This poison arrow was creating a feeling of hopelessness towards house chores in my body, and I enjoy the freedom that removing it brought. I was also meeting my sister this Sunday, and I was asked to inquire into her work situation. The session was very deep, because it uncovered her feelings of low self-esteem that she covers up with productivity. The same ailment I am weary of in myself. This is how our parents brought us up and I feel deep sympathy for her.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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I've been contemplating a lot recently, and a new order of understanding emerged. I wanted to share it here with you.

Humans are a part of Nature, which is Good. Human nature, as well as all other beings, is good. It is wholly innocent, and with a single, unified intent to live and to flourish. We all know deeply what is harmonious, and this knowing is what we feel. We know this, because of our will to live and to flourish. There is no inhibition to life because Cosmos is open and giving. When we live in accordance with our true nature, we are in harmony with its order, and are content. To live in accordance with our nature, is enough.

We have been given the gift of language, which purpose is to express our true nature. What we express is true inasmuch, as it is harmonious, which means that it feels good. It is possible to create untruths, or half-truths, that violate the principles upon which harmony is built. The most fundamental one is the principle of equality, that states that all aspects of the Cosmos are equal and unique, but not special (which is to say that they are exempt from the rules of order). From violations of harmony, false consciousness exists, which we call Ego. Ego is a state of consciousness. Ego has no existence of its own, apart from being defined in opposition to Cosmic Harmony. Ego has no nourishment, or life to it, because it is disconnected from harmony. Its existence is parasitic. It steals life force from humans by creating conflict and opposition among them. Ego is not a part of human nature. We know this by feeling.

Ego perpetuates itself via untruths and half-truths that slander our nature. It operates by dividing human psyche into parts and creating inner conflict. At the root of this conflict lies the belief in hierarchical order, that some aspects of our existence are special and elevated, while others are lower and sinful. This manipulation disconnects us from harmony, as it violates the principle of equality. Our lack of nourishment is then used against the Cosmos to support Egoic view about its hostility and to spread more conflict in hope of extracting more and more life force from us.  The purpose of conflict is to extract sustenance from humans and to feed false consciousness. Egoic consciousness is instilled in us via conditioning during childhood. It exists as self-images, and beliefs within our psyche that repress parts of us that later become our shadow.

The Cosmos is not against the Ego and it needs no defending. The return to harmony is simply done via feeling. Whatever feels discordant is ego and has to be resisted. This is a natural response that does not have to be developed, but rather, recognized, and trusted. The correct response to ego is simply withdrawal, saying inner no, not-associating-with. Hostility, argumentative attitude, fighting, blaming, guilt, shame, ostracization, are all expressions of ego, and are not true resistance. Withdrawal is not passivity, but rather, resting in the joy of life, in our will, until the ego backs away. Ego always backs away eventually, because it is simply false. It has no power, or truth to it. 

Associating with the ego is not a sin. There is no atonement for it. Backing away, inspecting beliefs, returning to humility is enough. The Universe has a law that helps with it. It is called the Cosmic law of Fate. Fate is what happens, when we go against the cosmic harmony, when we try to impose our view upon it, and manipulate it against its nature. There isn't much to it, other than simply being ineffective. The Universe resists us, until we're left without energy to continue. When we're left alone due to our arrogance, we have the space to reflect upon how we feel, and listen to it. We have the space to inspect our beliefs and actions. That's it. No need for vengeance, karma, past lives, etc. Return to humility, and that's it. 


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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I feel like my heart grew three sizes.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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Yesterday, I received an email with an offer regarding new job that I will be doing. It triggered me pretty much, because the lady called it a "potential offer", and me, a "potential candidate" when it seemed to me that I already passed the recruitment phase. In my mind, I was already a future employee because I had made up my mind, and wanted to work there. There is still one day I will be working on-site on 22nd and it was explained to me that its purpose is to assess whether >>I<< want to work there, whether the culture of the company suits me. "Potential" was triggering to me because it communicated their indecisiveness, as if they wanted to pull our agreement from beneath my feet, when I already made steps based on it.

Couldn't sleep at night because I was wrestling with thoughts about this and I realized something. Yesterday a coworker announced that he is leaving the company because he sees no future for himself here without me. I didn't notice how this sleight-of-hand remark boosted my self-importance, which resulted in me thinking that I ought to be treated with honors I deserve. Of course, this is wholly incorrect, as the coworker made his decision with regard of his beliefs, and in accordance with what suits his life, and not because of some misplaced sense of loyalty.

The process in which I was making my mind up during the night, was interesting to observe. I had thoughts afraid of the word "potential" instead of expected "realization", as well as a process that observed beliefs that could have triggered it. At the same time, I was feeling my sense of wholeness that was being disrupted by these thoughts, and not giving in to the urge to project fragmentation outwards to blame the lady. What I concluded, is that the lady that wrote the e-mail is not using language as precisely as I do, and she is simply using it to express her emotions, or excitement. This realization only came about when I remembered our telephone conversation, and how genuinely happy she seemed when I said that I decided that I wanted to work there. I knew that this conclusion is right, because I felt that my heart is so big that it barely fits into my chest. This is the sense of wholeness that I experience.

Never, even for a second, my heart had doubted this decision. I am very grateful for the intuition that I was blessed with.

I would like to think that this process is reminiscent of what I-Ching teaches about commonsense. A consensus of all the senses.

Edited by tsuki

Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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Holy shit. I just realized that no object has an 'inside'. It's all outside. It's all a shell.


Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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