I do not have any intentions to date someone

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Yoshy said:

 

there is no way a woman my age ( 20 yo ) is on the same path as me and I know that anything else wont be a match on the long term . 

most people drag you down .. 

Careful with what you ‘know’ to be true, it acts as a filter of what you’ll experience. These are conditions held now, which can be let go. Unless of course, what you actually want is a sexless lifetime alone. Doubtful. 

[Strangeloop]

I think you feel resentment towards women because they somehow offended/hurt you. 

It would take courage to actually forgive them and talk to them as a human being because we men are no different from women. We are all human. Even if their ego shows up and they start to say some things that irritate you that doesn't mean you don't do the same.

Forgive, let go and go all in the new relationships.

[No Self]

20 hours ago, Yoshy said:

When reading that you must be thinking that im some sort of incel/redpill/mgtow/frustrated ect .... 

As others have said... no, it's not OK to be alone. You must be constantly horny, sexually frustrated, scheming, predatory and run entirely by your nether regions.

EDIT: sarcasm aside, check out https://www.asexuality.org/en/ 

Edited December 18, 2020 by No Self

[Danioover9000]

@No Self @No Self

9 hours ago, No Self said:

As others have said... no, it's not OK to be alone. You must be constantly horny, sexually frustrated, scheming, predatory and run entirely by your nether regions.

EDIT: sarcasm aside, check out https://www.asexuality.org/en/ 

[AlphaAbundance]

Without actually fucking/dating at least 10 women, this is COPE.

You don't qualify for this belief system, go out there and experiment with dating/sex/romance before you dismiss it otherwise in the future remember what I told you here 10 years earlier, when you start to deeply regret this shit. This is as if someone dismissed socializing or finances or health or spirituality without even doing any exploration into the domain. You want to explore/experiment with sex and dating (casual relationships as well as, perhaps, at least one serious type of relationship) otherwise you're going to be missing out on an entire domain of life that could have enriched your life and brought you value. 

Edited December 18, 2020 by AlphaAbundance

[Arcangelo]

On 12/17/2020 at 9:05 AM, Yoshy said:

Im 20 years old , im a virgin . And yes I am not clinging to anybody else or even looking for it . 

why ? I dont know . 

When reading that you must be thinking that im some sort of incel/redpill/mgtow/frustrated ect .... 

Im none of that . It doesnt come from a place of lack and I have no resentment  . 

I love myself , im happy with myself , why the hell would i want to download tinder and spend 20 minutes a day swapping trough profiles  .

And go trough all the bullshit of small talk , dating , flirting , trying to look "fuckable" , trying to appear as a "man" is expected to be ect ....

An immense waste of energy and time for 45 minutes of hugging and shooting a nut at the end . Why do I think like that ? Because there is no way a woman my age ( 20 yo ) is on the same path as me and I know that anything else wont be a match on the long term . 

I tried it once , to fit in ,  because everybody had tinder . Had about 70 matchs , as a guy , fucked no one . 

I just dont see the value of having someone else by my side honestly , especially when most people drag you down .. 

The moment you try to play a character to get in a relationship , you messed up . You try to appear as the person this girl wants , wich is not you . This is deeply emasculating . Im not going to play games , I will let life unfold organicly and if I die alone and then I lived a happy lonely life . 

^Self-deception.

[No Self]

If this were a few decades earlier, we would be bashing gay people in much the same fashion.

* How could you not want to fuck a woman?

* It must have been some trauma in your past - you must heal now!

* Being gay is absurd from an evolutionary/biological/reproductive perspective - it's just wrong

* At least try fucking 10 women before calling yourself gay

* Eww, you're attracted to other men?

* You're in denial. Women are sooo awesome.

* etc.

Sorry to break it to you, but asexuality is a thing. People have a right to it. It's OK for people to have a different sexuality than you. They also have a right to change at a later date if they wish to. Learn something before gang-bashing this poor guy.

[PurpleTree]

8 minutes ago, No Self said:

If this were a few decades earlier, we would be bashing gay people in much the same fashion.

not necessarily there have always been people who are accepting of such things, ancient greece etc.

9 minutes ago, No Self said:

Sorry to break it to you, but asexuality is a thing. People have a right to it. It's OK for people to have a different sexuality than you. They also have a right to change at a later date if they wish to. Learn something before gang-bashing this poor guy.

i don't think anybody really bashed the guy, more power to him

but if you ask for advice or make a topic then you kind of have to deal with peoples opinions and suggestions or not?

[No Self]

3 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

but if you ask for advice or make a topic then you kind of have to deal with peoples opinions and suggestions or not?

Yes of course, though it could also be a case of someone experiencing a non-mainstream sexuality looking for support, and being told by dozens of people that he is wrong and delusional. I think a forum like this should be more educated and more tolerant.

[Danioover9000]

@PurpleTree

3 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

not necessarily there have always been people who are accepting of such things, ancient greece etc.

i don't think anybody really bashed the guy, more power to him

but if you ask for advice or make a topic then you kind of have to deal with peoples opinions and suggestions or not?

   It depends where you post. Mostly if you just post in your journal nobody would be too critical and bash, but posting on other sub-forums besides the journaling sub-forum, get ready to be bashed. Also, depends on how you write the topic, as a discussion or for a debate. Of course, if your making an assertion, be prepared to fight using points, reasons and gentle rebuttals.

   Everything here pales in comparison to being bashed face-to-face though.

[Yoshy]

@No Self

2 minutes ago, No Self said:

Yes of course, though it could also be a case of someone experiencing a non-mainstream sexuality looking for support, and being told by dozens of people that he is wrong and delusional. I think a forum like this should be more educated and more tolerant.

Sometimes when I see " spiritual women " on youtube , they definitely have an effect on me . Teal Swan is much older than me but there is something so hot about her I can't explain it .

[Danioover9000]

@AlphaAbundance

37 minutes ago, AlphaAbundance said:

Without actually fucking/dating at least 10 women, this is COPE.

You don't qualify for this belief system, go out there and experiment with dating/sex/romance before you dismiss it otherwise in the future remember what I told you here 10 years earlier, when you start to deeply regret this shit. This is as if someone dismissed socializing or finances or health or spirituality without even doing any exploration into the domain. You want to explore/experiment with sex and dating (casual relationships as well as, perhaps, at least one serious type of relationship) otherwise you're going to be missing out on an entire domain of life that could have enriched your life and brought you value. 

   It's justified to view people like this who haven't gone through dating/sex/relationships, however we've got some people who gone years of hell with dating/sex/relationships, and on top of that their minds distort this. Do such people qualify for this belief system?

[PurpleTree]

8 minutes ago, Yoshy said:

@No Self

Sometimes when I see " spiritual women " on youtube , they definitely have an effect on me . Teal Swan is much older than me but there is something so hot about her I can't explain it .

oh yea she's hot for sure

11 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

@PurpleTree

   It depends where you post. Mostly if you just post in your journal nobody would be too critical and bash, but posting on other sub-forums besides the journaling sub-forum, get ready to be bashed. Also, depends on how you write the topic, as a discussion or for a debate. Of course, if your making an assertion, be prepared to fight using points, reasons and gentle rebuttals.

   Everything here pales in comparison to being bashed face-to-face though.

well i think for example people from the pick up community (which i'm no part of) which there seem to be quite a few on here

went through things like making excuses, then starting to approach and getting better, building confidence and so on.

and when they see a post like the opening statement they think it's just making excuses because of fear from women

so they are trying the kind of "tough love" route, pick up imo is a kind of ideology

[No Self]

5 minutes ago, Yoshy said:

@No Self

Sometimes when I see " spiritual women " on youtube , they definitely have an effect on me . Teal Swan is much older than me but there is something so hot about her I can't explain it .

If you can do so safely (with COVID and all), finding meetup groups in your area with spiritually-minded people will likely benefit you. Just be warned that it can be a rocky ride and will test your spirituality.

9 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

@AlphaAbundance

   It's justified to view people like this who haven't gone through dating/sex/relationships, however we've got some people who gone years of hell with dating/sex/relationships, and on top of that their minds distort this. Do such people qualify for this belief system?

It is a bit complex like that. As with the LGBTQ community, one will find a substantial percentage of people who have experienced sexual abuse, etc., that has obviously distorted their sex drive or created inner blockages. But at the end of the day, people have very limited choice and usually want to be accepted where they are.

[No Self]

4 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

so they are trying the kind of "tough love" route, pick up imo is a kind of ideology

100%.

As such, it is important to have alternative viewpoints. Echo chambers are rarely a good thing.

[AlphaAbundance]

@No Self

50 minutes ago, No Self said:

If this were a few decades earlier, we would be bashing gay people in much the same fashion.

* How could you not want to fuck a woman?

* It must have been some trauma in your past - you must heal now!

* Being gay is absurd from an evolutionary/biological/reproductive perspective - it's just wrong

* At least try fucking 10 women before calling yourself gay

* Eww, you're attracted to other men?

* You're in denial. Women are sooo awesome.

* etc.

Sorry to break it to you, but asexuality is a thing. People have a right to it. It's OK for people to have a different sexuality than you. They also have a right to change at a later date if they wish to. Learn something before gang-bashing this poor guy.

My guy said he likes females

You're projecting hard my g

Unless someone is 90-100% certain (without coping) that they never want to have sexual/dating/relationships, they should explore/experiment

41 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

   It's justified to view people like this who haven't gone through dating/sex/relationships, however we've got some people who gone years of hell with dating/sex/relationships, and on top of that their minds distort this. Do such people qualify for this belief system?

Huh? Someone has found success/abundance meeting, attracting, and dating the people they are attracted to and still doesn't find it valuable?

That's possible but there's little value in exploring that here lol

[electroBeam]

1 hour ago, No Self said:

If this were a few decades earlier, we would be bashing gay people in much the same fashion.

I agree, yet only IF you don't take into the context of what the OP wrote.

If you look at what the OP actually wrote, you'll notice lots of sneaky devilry shit.

And that devilry shit has been outlined by me, and a few other posters.

Edited December 18, 2020 by electroBeam

[No Self]

41 minutes ago, AlphaAbundance said:

@No Self

My guy said he likes females

The term asexual covers a wide spectrum and does not automatically mean zero attraction to anyone, as the name might imply. There's too much to cover here but there is info out there. Nothing wrong with further experimentation; it will likely happen anyway!

36 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

I agree, yet only IF you don't take into the context of what the OP wrote.

No doubt we were interpreting it a little differently. It could go one of either two ways, the first of which you have covered well.

If however, someone were asexual, there can be a lot of frustration from not being accepted by society, including he the PUA perspective that it's bad for a man to not be involving in dating, virgin shaming, etc. Sometimes, 'aces' can fall into the trap of making demeaning comments about their 'allosexual' counterparts as an expression of this frustration.

Perhaps none of us know where things will go, but so long as we are offering unconditional support, all's well.

[Danioover9000]

@No Self

21 hours ago, No Self said:

The term asexual covers a wide spectrum and does not automatically mean zero attraction to anyone, as the name might imply. There's too much to cover here but there is info out there. Nothing wrong with further experimentation; it will likely happen anyway!

No doubt we were interpreting it a little differently. It could go one of either two ways, the first of which you have covered well.

If however, someone were asexual, there can be a lot of frustration from not being accepted by society, including he the PUA perspective that it's bad for a man to not be involving in dating, virgin shaming, etc. Sometimes, 'aces' can fall into the trap of making demeaning comments about their 'allosexual' counterparts as an expression of this frustration.

Perhaps none of us know where things will go, but so long as we are offering unconditional support, all's well.

   I agree that more information about context is needed before making demeaning comments, ideally shouldn't be given.

   I tend to think that people who are/identify as asexual have slight advantage with dating.

[Danioover9000]

@AlphaAbundance

22 hours ago, AlphaAbundance said:

@No Self

My guy said he likes females

You're projecting hard my g

Unless someone is 90-100% certain (without coping) that they never want to have sexual/dating/relationships, they should explore/experiment

Huh? Someone has found success/abundance meeting, attracting, and dating the people they are attracted to and still doesn't find it valuable?

That's possible but there's little value in exploring that here lol

   This is interesting to explore here, because this is a fatal mistake that could undermine almost all progress, especially faced with many different types of rejections that it almost feels like a dark ight of the souls moment that the person could've pushed further, but instead thought it was really the end and just like that gave up and moved on to something else entirely.