I'm not even depressed but sometimes I just wanna kill myself for the infinite love

[Blackhawk]

8 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

I would expect what I experienced through psychedelics and what Leo said.

You didn't experience eternal bliss on psychedelics.

And I don't think Leo has said that there's eternal bliss after death.

Edited December 8, 2020 by Blackhawk

[Javfly33]

On 7/12/2020 at 3:33 PM, 7thLetter said:

 Coming back into my body was an odd experience because probably 70% of my memory about life was gone. I had to let time pass to regain my memory.

 

You haven´t come back to your body.

You are still awareness. You just have started to believe thoughts about having a body again

[7thLetter]

@Barbara Tinder results suck because I don't match with the ones I like. Been on Tinder for 5 years pretty much, and over the course of 5 years I probably only matched with a small handful of girls I was genuinely attracted to. And I messed it up with all of them I'd say because I said something stupid, or wasn't interesting enough.

Tinder & Bumble is actually kind of dead to me now. Recently wanted to give the paid option on Tinder another chance, used super likes, boosted my profile, got Tinder Platinum, still bad results. Read this article that basically explains why men on dating apps have a huge disadvantage. Basically what the article says is that, women are not attracted to looks they're attracted to personality, so for them to swipe right takes a lot. Then when you match you have to text them, and its still difficult to show them your personality through text. With guys its like "oh she's hot in her photos, that's a right swipe for me." There's a huge difference in male and female biology. There's also the Tinder algorithm you have to understand and work with, swiping right on everyone lowers your visibility on the app. Plus, there's also a lot of competition on the app. There's probably thousands of other guys trying to match with the girl that you swiped right on.

Article I read: https://www.mediavsreality.com/mediavsreality/2018/10/30/why-online-dating-drives-men-crazy

How does my game suck? A lot of times in the past I've been needy, I don't make the first moves, and sometimes I try to be someone I'm not to try and "manipulate" the girl's interest. These days I work on trying to be myself and try less to try and control the girl's interest.

16 hours ago, Barbara said:

I think that this is bad mostly for your self esteem since you already think your game is bad, and this will only strengthen that idea. That you can't get girls, the "normal" way. And I think you know you want true connections, and paying them, you can never really know if they're being genuine or not.

Also, maybe you think about this, but have you studied your childhood in a way you can understand if there was something happening that is blocking you now, with your dating life. Because I think that the reason you have a meh dating life, may not be about your game or so. Try to improve other areas of your life and I believe dates will come. Don't put all your energy into this. Focus more on yourself and being the best you can be.

True. But honestly, its just going to be more of a short-term solution for me for now. I just want more experience, whether its dating, chatting, or sexual experience, because I need to build it up somehow. And you're right its definitely not a place for true connections. You can't really buy someone's love. The site though is different than Tinder in many ways, easier to get a date, there's less competition, and most of the other guys there are old. Couple girls told me I'm the youngest and cutest on the site, which is cool but, it made me realize its pretty much a sugar dating site.. lol. Still, using it for the short-term. When COVID is over, I want to focus on meeting women in person.

And yeah I recently bought a "Self-Love" course by Kailyn Bowman on Youtube, just another spiritual guru. Going to be studying that for a while, talks about fixing childhood trauma, unhealthy behaviors in relationships, etc. The thing that makes me lose hope though is that I've been working on myself for so long. I hear this all the time, "work on other areas of your life and you will attract desires" something along those lines. And I do. I work on myself in any way I can, health, fitness, mentally, spiritually, etc. But I'm still in the same place. Maybe I don't work hard enough on myself though.

 

[7thLetter]

17 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

You didn't experience eternal bliss on psychedelics.

And I don't think Leo has said that there's eternal bliss after death.

I did experience bliss though. When it comes to eternal bliss, I wouldn't know. Maybe there's bliss, then reincarnation at some point. And if that's true, how does "God" decide whether or not and when to reincarnate? And would it even be the same "soul" or awareness that is controlling this body right now? This is where I admit I truly don't know.

But why wouldn't there be eternal bliss? Physical reality is an illusion after all, to kill the ego is to shatter the illusion, and that would be God snapping out of the dream reality into the true reality. But somehow new people are born every single day, its like God falls back into the dream multiple times. Are the same "souls" recycled into new bodies? Or are they new ones?

Maybe you might have the answers since you tell me not to expect eternal bliss

[Barbara]

@7thLetter  Ok it's fair. The whole tinder principle sucks anyway and that's a great article! Online dating is doomed.

1 hour ago, 7thLetter said:

I've been needy, I don't make the first moves, and sometimes I try to be someone I'm not to try and "manipulate" the girl's interest. These days I work on trying to be myself and try less to try and control the girl's interest.

This is huge, you know. You're taking responsibility and action. This is a manifestation of all the years you've been doing personal work. Keep working on it, you'll get amazing results I'm sure! 

2 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

made me realize its pretty much a sugar dating site

Lol, that is funny  You know what's best for you and what your needs are. Even if you have to use unorthodox ways. 

I hope you like the course and you can take the best from it. 
 

2 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

I hear this all the time, "work on other areas of your life and you will attract desires" something along those lines. And I do. I work on myself in any way I can, health, fitness, mentally, spiritually, etc. But I'm still in the same place. Maybe I don't work hard enough on myself though.

I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to make you question yourself. I'm sure you've evolved a lot during these years and you'll continue to do so. You seem like a really nice person. And I can see how introspective you are and that's a symptom of self help junkies, as Leo says  Just keep being the best you can be. 
It was nice talking to you

I truly wish you the absolute best

Warm regards 

[Blackhawk]

4 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

I did experience bliss though. When it comes to eternal bliss, I wouldn't know. Maybe there's bliss, then reincarnation at some point. And if that's true, how does "God" decide whether or not and when to reincarnate? And would it even be the same "soul" or awareness that is controlling this body right now? This is where I admit I truly don't know.

But why wouldn't there be eternal bliss? Physical reality is an illusion after all, to kill the ego is to shatter the illusion, and that would be God snapping out of the dream reality into the true reality. But somehow new people are born every single day, its like God falls back into the dream multiple times. Are the same "souls" recycled into new bodies? Or are they new ones?

Maybe you might have the answers since you tell me not to expect eternal bliss

Because you aren't experiencing bliss right now.

Your bliss experience had a beginning, and a end.

Eternity doesn't have a beginning or a end.

Whatever has a beginning, isn't eternal.

[7thLetter]

2 hours ago, Barbara said:

It was nice talking to you

I truly wish you the absolute best

Warm regards 

Likewise, it was a pleasure.

I appreciate your input 

[Tarzan]

I've struggled throughout my whole childhood with that and right now aswell, this weird, and sometimes, heck most of the times pretty shit  thing called me and life. What kept me going was remembering that at least death is inevitable, I would ask - why am I not dead yet? And the answer I get is 'not yet', or 'wait for it'.

[How to be wise]

@7thLetter There are no rights or wrongs in this world. You can do as you like. The fact that you haven’t killed yourself yet probably shows that you don’t want to.