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flyingwhalee

350μ LSD Trip Report: God experience

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Hey guys,

So this is the report of a trip I did around 2 months ago. I'll try to make it as straight to the point as possible.

It's friday, i come back from work. I planned this trip weeks ago, so I stopped microdosing around 2 weeks prior. I clean my appartment and make some food for later. 

It's 6:30 PM, I take my 2 tabs (approximately 175μ each). It's not my first LSD trip, so I had my ritual. I would meditate on this for about half the time of the come up, mainly to ground myself, give me the strenght to surrender and get rid of the come up anxiety (he has a longer audio version on his website, that I would recommend people to check out). 

It's 7:00PM. By this time, I put some music through my headphones. I tried Leo's playlist for the first time, absolutely did not click, felt way too alien (sorry Leo). 

I put mine instead, and by the way try this. It's pretty incredible:

As I'm listening to music, my body starts to feel good. Way way too good. I leave the couch, go to the bedroom and lie in my bed, still wearing my headphones. I have to to let go of music at some point: it's way too intense. And the bliss I feel in my body is just too much. It keeps increasing by the minute, and i realize it's not just my body that is blissful: i can literally feel i'm being showered by love, but from the inside. At some point, as i'm holding my chest (cause it felt the source of it was in there), tears of gratefulness started to fall down. Believe it or not, it kept increasing, to even threatening levels. What was pretty special in this trip was the level of lucidity I managed to keep, which was even superior to the "normal" state. Altough visuals went through the roof, with colors & shapes morphing beautifuly, it was only a distraction, and PALES in comparison to the rest:

 

Here's where it gets tricky to translate into words. By the minutes, the presence and love pouring out of my chest kept increasing. Literally oceans of love. I melted, over, over and over again. The "connectedness" with everything is absolutely real. You absolutely know it, when  you cannot localize yourself in a specific "place" anymore, and everything feels like a part of your body. I had a taste of it a year ago for a few seconds during meditation, but this time it was pushed next level. 

 

Here's the mindfuck: as i was everywhere, "i" stood up and went to the living room, only to realize it happened "by itself". I was so rooted in the "observer" point of view, anything that "happens" in reality, well, "happens". Effortlessly. I could just rest in that observer place, and let reality unfold for the rest of my life. It felt absolutely natural. 

Then waves of bliss and love again. By this point, I was too floored to keep track of time (sens of time wasn't here anyway, the 10 hours trip literally felt like 1h). Altough it was so intense, I had a purpose for this trip. I was here for that, and psychologicaly prepared anyway. So I decided to close my eyes & meditate. To be more precise, i willingly dived into my own beingness, increasing my presence even more. Guys, this felt like jumping in the void in retrospective.

What happened is literally unspeakable. Way way beyond imagination. As soon as i focused on my own beingness, the experience of what i could only describe as existential love happened. Literally, it was love for existence itself, the fundamental one: the love that gave birth to existence. Want to know why there is things ? Well... This is IT. 

Big big claim I know. Not only my words don't give it justice, but it was way beyond rationality by this point. If your thirst for truth is strong enough, it becomes apparent you have to let go of rationality. That's another topic anway. 

Absolutely speechless. I couldn't believe it, but not only it was obvious beyond any doubts, it was literally me. The center of my chest / heart felt like it was "burning" on a fire of love. If I was to rest my focus in there, I was literally home in the sea of love. It's way way beyond words. I "tried" to put this into words on my laptop, so here are my notes on the moment:

 

"U can’t even conceive of God beauty. To even think about it, it seems ridicule. U can’t.The awe. I melted. I melt. Over and over. Infinite beauty.as i type.

Formless. all compassing. 

The existential. I never felt this. like a first breath ever. Even this is not even close. 

It is so existential. IT. IT

Embody it. it loves me and i love it so much i feel unworthy but it still loves me
The gratitude. My heart felt (and still feels as i’m typing) so close to you, it warms, it feels home. The beauty of it...

I promise to remember this. Cuz we forget

Existential beauty. Seems weird from an external point of view.  it’s formless beauty. An infinite cosmic orgasm. This is not merely a feeling, this is real, completely outside the conceivable.  An existential orgasm that extends to every fiber of the universe. SO MUCH LOVE. u can’t maintain existence as you. it’s too beautiful. Existentially beautiful. But u don’t need to maintain yourself. it loves the f out of you much more than you do. Oceans of love that would drown anything;

This time, the love shows a bit different  This is existential. The core of everything. And it is.

U can’t conceive of the beauty

Back to my “self”. Biggest question: What to do with this. it’s outrageous. it’s too much

-Don't forget what i saw

- Keep the link "

As my notes mention, the "extremely aware of God's presence" state started to  wear off. I thought "This is only goodbye. Now i know for sure." Now I understood experientially the islamic saying  "We are closer to him than (his) jugular vein.” (Quran 50:16)". We (i) tend to think those are metaphors from an ancient era, where everything was expressed through allegories and beautiful sayings. Absolutely not. This is truth, period. Can't argue with truth.

During the comedown, it decided to leave my appartment and take a walk in the night. As i was walking, there was still a feeling of being everyhere, and what a wonder. As i was walking, i could observe my "self" walking as it was walking by its own, from the will of the universe. Beautiful.

This concludes most of my trip. The profundity of it trip really prevented me from writing a report earlier. Those are just words: just concepts in the reader's mind, with all the potential of self-decepetion translating into words carries, while truth is truth.

For the interested, my practices in this path consists of non regular meditation & self-inquiry practices during the past 2-3 years, and serious Kriya Practice (1h a day that shall extend to 2 after my exams) since the beginning of the summer. I also did about 3-4 mushroom trips, and 4 LSD ones. So nothing special really, for now. 

 

Here it is, hope you liked it.

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Good! Now you have some idea of what Love is.

But there's more.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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42 minutes ago, WonderSeeker said:

Delicious report, thank you for sharing!

My pleasure man.

 

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Good! Now you have some idea of what Love is.

But there's more.

I'll be happy to dive even deeper. Thank you for all that work man.

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@flyingwhalee You call my music alien?

Your music video is like a demo for a 90's CD video game system.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@flyingwhalee You call my music alien?

Your music video is like a demo for a 90's CD video game system.

HAHA the disrespect. I agree that mine is weirder.

I just went through your playlist again, and actually only Echotides No 3 felt that way. I was like oh no Leo, tf did you do.

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