Shroom Trip Report: Dying Infinite Deaths

[Brivido]

The week before my trip I read "LSD and the mind of the universe", in which Cristopher Bache, the author, describes his work with LSD. Bache says that, before he had the chance of becoming one with God, he had to go through various stages of purification. While I was reading his reports, I thought that I was somehow "better" than him, since in my previous trips I had the chance of experiencing dharmakaya, God, the white light, and becoming one with the ultimate reality, without having to go through the horrors that he describes in his book. As you will soon read, I paid a steep price for my naivete.

I started the session relaxing and meditating, I was thrilled for the upcoming trip, but nervous at the same time. The first hour was extremely difficult, I felt cold and restless, even thought the temperature in my room was normal, I had the feeling that entities were working to change my state of consciousness to get me ready for what I was about to experience.

The second hour I lost the perception of time and I couldn't make senso of who I was anymore. I tried to work on the intentions that I had set and the questions that I wanted to answer, but the shrooms had other plans for me. The trip took an unexpected turn when I entered into unitary consciousness: I wasn't ready for how infinite it was this time. I have experienced infinity many times in the past before, but it seems that every time I get into it, it gets even more infinite. 

I was being born and dying ad infinitum, under infinite forms. I have lived through pestilences, famines, rapes and unjustified hate. I have seen shuttered bodies being eaten alive, which were my own bodies. All of this was happening to me, by me, since I am the medium through which everything happens. I saw the face of death and I realized it was my own face. For a short period of time I was able to love hell and it transformed into paradise and ecstasy, but I couldn't hold it for long, doing so requires infinite consciousness.

God/Infinity is happening all at once, in the present moment, which means millions of Jews are dying right now in the concentration camps, the atomic bombs are being dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Jesus is being crucified, as you are reading this words. The inability of accepting all of my self was prolonging my horrific visions, the more I resisted my self, the worst it got.

I am not sure why, but infinity appeared to me through the form of Ishvara. Wherever I saw, I saw its infinite form. I had never heard the name Ishvara before my trip, but when I saw it, its name came instantaneously to my mind.

For the short period of time that I managed to accept infinity, I had a peek into the mind of God which was pure infinite intelligence and interconnection, the visions were more vivid than anything I have ever experienced before in my own life. When I opened my eyes, I saw that the present moment is nothing other than the manifestation of the mind of God, God lives through my own body.

At one point, I understood that God creates through pure imagination, so I wanted to create in the same way that God creates. I was so conscious that I could have projected a rose out of thin air, but I choose not to do it. I am sure, without a single doubt, that in that state of consciousness I could have done it, but, if I would have done it, I would have gone crazy: after the trip I couldn't have been able any more to distinguish between "reality" and "imagination". It felt like the same temptation that Jesus went through in the desert.

The main takeaway from this trip is to never stop being humble, the moment you stop being humble is the moment you get fucked hard. The fears and the problems that I face in my day to day life are nothing compared to what I went through in just 4 hours. If I can implement only one percent of the level of acceptance that I had to apply to survive this trip, I won't have a single "problem" or "fear" anymore in my life. Overall, I can't wait to get back into infinity, to love it all next time, even though I will need some time to process everything that I have seen.

[Grateful Dead]

great report, thanks for sharing!

lots of juciy insights

[fridjonk]

Beautiful! 

[Leo Gura]

Good. You got it.

[Adamq8]

Great report!

[Abdelghafar]

@Brivido Thank you for this informative report.

[WonderSeeker]

@Brivido Bache's book is a great perspective. But actually going through it must have been a challenge. What was the dose? Fantastic report!

[Javfly33]

@Brivido how my godness. I´m speechless of this trip report. Please share the dose that you used.

[Nahm]

@Brivido

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing. 

[bejapuskas]

@Brivido  This sounds so fruitful good job! 

7 hours ago, Brivido said:

I am not sure why, but infinity appeared to me through the form of Ishvara. Wherever I saw, I saw its infinite form. I had never heard the name Ishvara before my trip, but when I saw it, its name came instantaneously to my mind.

Some of these words really do be like that is magical.

[Girzo]

8 hours ago, Brivido said:

God/Infinity is happening all at once, in the present moment, which means millions of Jews are dying right now in the concentration camps, the atomic bombs are being dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Jesus is being crucified, as you are reading this words. The inability of accepting all of my self was prolonging my horrific visions, the more I resisted my self, the worst it got.

That part, I really feel it. Non-duality has indeed radical implications.

[allislove]

7 hours ago, Brivido said:

I was so conscious that I could have projected a rose out of thin air, but I choose not to do it. I am sure, without a single doubt, that in that state of consciousness I could have done it, but, if I would have done it, I would have gone crazy: after the trip I couldn't have been able any more to distinguish between "reality" and "imagination".

Experienced the same insight... LSD trip this year... could manifest "other" people instantaneously nearby but chose not to do it, to stay "sane"...

@Brivido Namaste

[abrakamowse]

Thanks a lot for sharing this report! Awesome. Thanks, thanks and thanks!!!

[Corpus]

8 hours ago, Brivido said:

The week before my trip I read "LSD and the mind of the universe", in which Cristopher Bache, the author, describes his work with LSD. Bache says that, before he had the chance of becoming one with God, he had to go through various stages of purification. While I was reading his reports, I thought that I was somehow "better" than him, since in my previous trips I had the chance of experiencing dharmakaya, God, the white light, and becoming one with the ultimate reality, without having to go through the horrors that he describes in his book. As you will soon read, I paid a steep price for my naivete.

I started the session relaxing and meditating, I was thrilled for the upcoming trip, but nervous at the same time. The first hour was extremely difficult, I felt cold and restless, even thought the temperature in my room was normal, I had the feeling that entities were working to change my state of consciousness to get me ready for what I was about to experience.

The second hour I lost the perception of time and I couldn't make senso of who I was anymore. I tried to work on the intentions that I had set and the questions that I wanted to answer, but the shrooms had other plans for me. The trip took an unexpected turn when I entered into unitary consciousness: I wasn't ready for how infinite it was this time. I have experienced infinity many times in the past before, but it seems that every time I get into it, it gets even more infinite. 

I was being born and dying ad infinitum, under infinite forms. I have lived through pestilences, famines, rapes and unjustified hate. I have seen shuttered bodies being eaten alive, which were my own bodies. All of this was happening to me, by me, since I am the medium through which everything happens. I saw the face of death and I realized it was my own face. For a short period of time I was able to love hell and it transformed into paradise and ecstasy, but I couldn't hold it for long, doing so requires infinite consciousness.

God/Infinity is happening all at once, in the present moment, which means millions of Jews are dying right now in the concentration camps, the atomic bombs are being dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Jesus is being crucified, as you are reading this words. The inability of accepting all of my self was prolonging my horrific visions, the more I resisted my self, the worst it got.

I am not sure why, but infinity appeared to me through the form of Ishvara. Wherever I saw, I saw its infinite form. I had never heard the name Ishvara before my trip, but when I saw it, its name came instantaneously to my mind.

For the short period of time that I managed to accept infinity, I had a peek into the mind of God which was pure infinite intelligence and interconnection, the visions were more vivid than anything I have ever experienced before in my own life. When I opened my eyes, I saw that the present moment is nothing other than the manifestation of the mind of God, God lives through my own body.

At one point, I understood that God creates through pure imagination, so I wanted to create in the same way that God creates. I was so conscious that I could have projected a rose out of thin air, but I choose not to do it. I am sure, without a single doubt, that in that state of consciousness I could have done it, but, if I would have done it, I would have gone crazy: after the trip I couldn't have been able any more to distinguish between "reality" and "imagination". It felt like the same temptation that Jesus went through in the desert.

The main takeaway from this trip is to never stop being humble, the moment you stop being humble is the moment you get fucked hard. The fears and the problems that I face in my day to day life are nothing compared to what I went through in just 4 hours. If I can implement only one percent of the level of acceptance that I had to apply to survive this trip, I won't have a single "problem" or "fear" anymore in my life. Overall, I can't wait to get back into infinity, to love it all next time, even though I will need some time to process everything that I have seen.

I'm glad you benefitted from the trip.

Something to consider- do you think having your mind "pre-loaded" with Baches work in the week prior to your experience influenced what you experienced? Psychedelics do affect ones suggestibility IMO/E.

Can you comment more on what is new for you now, post-experience, in terms of pestilence, famine and rape? Is Jesus' crucifixion Truth or a story, and can we be sure either way?

Your very last sentence suggests a keenness to get tripping again. That in itself is worth a good ponder. 

[Brivido]

15 hours ago, WonderSeeker said:

What was the dose?

It was 1.3 grams of dehydrated Mazatapec mushroom. I know it sounds strange, but my brain is hypersensitive to any kind of psychedelic.

[Brivido]

10 hours ago, Corpus said:

do you think having your mind "pre-loaded" with Baches work in the week prior to your experience influenced what you experienced?

Most likely yes, but, at the same time, it was something I had to go through to go even deeper into infinity.

10 hours ago, Corpus said:

Can you comment more on what is new for you now, post-experience, in terms of pestilence, famine and rape? Is Jesus' crucifixion Truth or a story, and can we be sure either way?

I am not aware that I am experiencing infinite deaths right now because I am not in the same state of consciousness that I was while tripping, what has changed is that I know for sure that infinity happens all at the same time, since I have seen it. 

10 hours ago, Corpus said:

Your very last sentence suggests a keenness to get tripping again.

Yes, I have countless more questions left unanswered about the nature of reality.