DefinitelyNotARobot

What does it mean to love yourself?

26 posts in this topic

When you fail at something, make a "stupid" mistake, or are sad,

Instead of bashing yourself by saying you're no good, you're stupid, or blame someone for how you feel,

You let the emotions be felt fully and accept them as they are, while being aware that you can succeed with enough dedication, that it's ok to make mistake (you're not perfect and it actually shows you're trying), and that how you feel is momentary and will change (for the better) with time.

Basically, you treat yourself like a good friend would :)

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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It doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't take anything.

You can't not love yourself. You can try, but that would be self-love too.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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18 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

@Shin What in your opinion is the biggest challenge when it comes to yourself?

Addiction to negative thoughts and blame.

Basically to identify heavily to a sense of self.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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For me, self-love is accepting my bullshit and acknowledging my efforts to learn from my experiences. 


I tend to blame myself, feel shame or regret for something that I do or say. However, I approach these thoughts and feelings very softly. I forgive myself all the time UNCONDITIONALLY because I know this is the only way to grow.

Self-love is also learning. Sometimes I become painfully aware of my flaws, yet I wouldn't If I wasn't making those mistakes and then contemplating on them. 

On the spiritual path, you'll not go far unless you learn to love yourself. All starts from self-acceptance. you'll not move forward unless you accept yourself and your situation. 

Because the spiritual path is a very much hard, uncomfortable and painful process. Without self-love, you'll not succeed.

So start from learning self-acceptance. Really, take it very seriously. 

 

Edited by Intraplanetary

softly into the Abyss...

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Watch this:

Your "human self" is an illusion. So it's not about knowing that self, as that's futile. Self love is about knowing and loving your true Self, which is everything / everyone / all of reality / God. 

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1 hour ago, Sempiternity said:

Watch this:

Your "human self" is an illusion. So it's not about knowing that self, as that's futile. Self love is about knowing and loving your true Self, which is everything / everyone / all of reality / God. 

In my view, you suggesting to jump too far away and skip the fundamentals which hardly work for the beginners who ask this question.

If someone just starting with the spirituality and haven't got some insights, they don't know about the self as God and all of reality. So they must start with the lower-self and just with yourself not everyone. By learning to love and accept yourself and your situation, no matter how low, you'll naturally accept others.

Be selfish in an away that you forgive yourself for all your judgments, blame, ignorance and negativity to yourself and others, at all times. But you also learn from your mistakes and experiences.

It's a practice. You need to learn loving self-talk. it's very powerful. Reduces resistance both in the mind and body.

When I learnt to accept all my bullshit, the lowest things I hated about myself and my ignorance, then I really started to grow. Now it's natural for me. When I do something I'm not proud of or I know it was wrong, I burn inside and my mind is going crazy with regret and judgment. But I forgive myself and I accept that I'm a flawed human being and I'll always make mistakes. After a day or two, I feel better and have another great lesson under my belt.  


softly into the Abyss...

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4 minutes ago, Intraplanetary said:

In my view, you suggesting to jump too far away and skip the fundamentals which hardly work for the beginners who ask this question.

If someone just starting with the spirituality and haven't got some insights, they don't know about the self as God and all of reality. So they must start with the lower-self and just with yourself not everyone. By learning to love and accept yourself and your situation, no matter how low, you'll naturally accept others.

Be selfish in an away that you forgive yourself for all your judgments, blame, ignorance and negativity to yourself and others, at all times. But you also learn from your mistakes and experiences.

It's a practice. You need to learn loving self-talk. it's very powerful. Reduces resistance both in the mind and body.

When I learnt to accept all my bullshit, the lowest things I hated about myself and my ignorance, then I really started to grow. Now it's natural for me. When I do something I'm not proud of or I know it was wrong, I burn inside and my mind is going crazy with regret and judgment. But I forgive myself and I accept that I'm a flawed human being and I'll always make mistakes. After a day or two, I feel better and have another great lesson under my belt.  

All good points.

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If you care more about your own mother than you do the homeless guy down the street, then you're doing it wrong.

Love is the destruction of identity, be that personal identity or collective identity.

It's not a test. It's not predicated on judgement or justice.

There is only you, so love yourself. Forever and ever.

 

 

 

 

Edited by peachboy

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@Intraplanetary Thanks that was very insightful!

I'm starting to see a few common threads here. Being (aka. self-acceptance) seems to the foundational. Accepting things as they are without trying to change anything.

Self-knowing also seems important. Seeing through the illusionary nature of your boundaries.

Where is the connection between knowing yourself and accepting yourself though? Can you do one without the other? Can you truly accept yourself without knowing yourself? Can you truly know yourself without accepting yourself?


beep boop

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1 hour ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

I'm starting to see a few common threads here. Being (aka. self-acceptance) seems to the foundational. Accepting things as they are without trying to change anything.

Self-knowing also seems important. Seeing through the illusionary nature of your boundaries.

Where is the connection between knowing yourself and accepting yourself though? Can you do one without the other? Can you truly accept yourself without knowing yourself? Can you truly know yourself without accepting yourself?

As far as my experience goes, when I finally dropped all the lofty stuff and advanced spiritual concepts (and thinking that I know myself) and accepted that I must start from the very beginning, which was dark and dirty, then I also started to be more Self-knowing.

Self-acceptance is a practice. When you finally decide to let go and embrace yourself with all that you hate and wish it wasn't in your life (doesn't have to be all at once, it can be gradual) you feel lighter and kinda relieved and although it's very counter-intuitive to embrace your darkness, it feels more true and right. 

In this process, you start to identify more with accepting and loving thoughts and actions over the negative ones. When you practice to accept yourself, negative thoughts become less resistant. They overpower you less. When you really accept something about yourself and your life that you avoided accepting, you'll feel your mind and body soften. It feels like Truth. Accepting yourself and loving yourself feels Right. 

So I would say that only through a direct experience you can really know yourself. When you practice self-acceptance you'll feel it in your bones. It's a game-changer. Hence, acceptance causes higher understanding and discovery about your higher self.

Therefore, in my view, you can't truly know yourself without accepting yourself because accepting yourself is an experience. Maybe you would think you know yourself but it would be just an egoic, self-deceptive concept without direct experience which is the true knowledge.

 

Edited by Intraplanetary

softly into the Abyss...

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Looking in the mirror ever day and seeing the most beautiful, perfect being imaginable. That’s the first step, ime. Apparently grandiose narcissists have this (amazing) quality too, but they’re disgusted by everyone else — what you want to do is cultivate this perception when observing others. Everyone is perfection, because all there is, is perfection. How could it be ANY other way? Give yourself complements, tell yourself “I love you.” If this doesn’t come naturally, try mirror meditation.

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Awareness alone is Curative.

It's Unconditional love for exactly the way things are.

Its seeing and understanding how you were unwillingly born into a society and essentially conditioned according to that societies standards. 

An identity was slowly created over the years and taken on as the 'ME'.

The story is the 'you', what's not to love about it, it's incredible!! ❤

 


“Everything is honoured, but nothing matters.” — Eckhart Tolle.

"I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I've been knocking from the inside." -- Rumi

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