Unworthy of love or friendship

[Chimera]

I have a huge core belief that in my actual ''natural'' state (no ego filters on how I should be), my quirky, non-interesting autistic ass cannot have the romantic relationships and friendships I want to have in my life. I might sound like a bitch right now, but I tend to attract boring people with low self esteem as friends and low quality romantic/sexual parters (people who doesn't respect my boundaries).

I know some of you may answer my ranting by saying '' You attract people based on how you perceive yourself'', but its hard to change my beliefs when this is how I perceive my external world.

I guess im lonely right now and Covid-19 makes it hard of me to meet new peoples....

Does anyone has dealt with this situation in your past? How did you change your feeling of unworthiness?

[Leo Gura]

Raise self-esteem by doing Nathaniel Branden's self-esteem exercises every day for a couple of years. Buy his book, The 6 Pillars Of Self-Esteem.

[Loving Radiance]

@Mikael89

[Chimera]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Raise self-esteem by doing Nathaniel Branden's self-esteem exercises every day for a couple of years. Buy his book, The 6 Pillars Of Self-Esteem.

Thanks, I'll read it!!  

[Shin]

Also, meditate everyday for 20 minutes, and try to be conscious of your thoughts the rest of the day.

That will help a lot too

[bazera]

On 11/17/2020 at 7:50 PM, Leo Gura said:

Raise self-esteem by doing Nathaniel Branden's self-esteem exercises every day for a couple of years. Buy his book, The 6 Pillars Of Self-Esteem.

@Leo Gura I've been doing his exercises for some time in the past but didn't finish it, to be honest. I didn't notice any improvements regarding my self-esteem. 

Do you think that self-esteem issues can go so deep that simply sentence completion exercises cant fix them?

And what do you think are the actual mechanics of the way that the process of sentence completion helps building higher self-esteem?

[Free Mind]

3 hours ago, bazera said:

@Leo Gura I've been doing his exercises for some time in the past but didn't finish it, to be honest. I didn't notice any improvements regarding my self-esteem. 

Do you think that self-esteem issues can go so deep that simply sentence completion exercises cant fix them?

And what do you think are the actual mechanics of the way that the process of sentence completion helps building higher self-esteem?

His methods are a little too much at the surface psychological level. I think deeper methods would be more effective in transforming the self-concept. So works from people like Neville Goddard and Dr. Joe Dispenza will really go deep and rewire those toxic aspects of the ego. 

[sgn]

Or Internal Family Systems

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, bazera said:

Do you think that self-esteem issues can go so deep that simply sentence completion exercises cant fix them?

Yes, of course. Self-esteem issues can run super deep.

To access the deepest levels, use psychedelics. Nothing is as powerful for deep self-love. What you're missing is self-love.

Quote

And what do you think are the actual mechanics

Consciousness

[Chimera]

35 minutes ago, neutralempty said:

Compulsive honesty and I exited the friend circle.

Honesty is freedom and watching your emotional space when expressing it.

I like that . 

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, Chimera said:

I like that . 

It is painful though.

If you don't it's like putting a bandage on a gun wound though, so better put the bullet out before you lose too much blood.

[Chimera]

22 minutes ago, Shin said:

It is painful though.

If you don't it's like putting a bandage on a gun wound though, so better put the bullet out before you lose too much blood.

It sounds more liberating than painful to me.

I think I've been pretending for so long to be something that I am not to get people to love me that being myself is more rewarding than pleasing others. 

I might loose some friends in the process, but maybe it's meant to be. Maybe those friends just can't handle my true self.

Edited November 18, 2020 by Chimera

[Darlisto]

@Chimera  I've recently posted an exercise that might help you. Powerful magic when done seriously

You can find it here

[Chimera]

7 minutes ago, Darlisto said:

@Chimera  I've recently posted an exercise that might help you. Powerful magic when done seriously

You can find it here

Ya that could help me. I have quite a ''few'' limiting beliefs  ! 

[aurum]

11 hours ago, Chimera said:

Does anyone has dealt with this situation in your past? How did you change your feeling of unworthiness?

Yes, it's extremely common.

I've tried just about every healing modality there is to try, so I can't pinpoint it on one thing. More like just years of meditation, introspection, bodywork, energy work and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Take a long view. Don't expect to flip this problem tomorrow. It gets better over time, not usually like flipping a light switch.

Just focus on putting in the work everyday.

[Strangeloop]

I heard some wise man say that there is no self-esteem or that is an illussion. Can't remember the specifics though

[Origins]

@Chimera Your heart was not held when it was most needed, so you must learn to hold your own heart so that you can learn to hold a lovers heart when they most need it as well. If you can conquer this, you'll never have those kinds of narratives holding you back in love and relationships (including with yourself). You needed a hero in certain periods that wasn't there and that's so tough I get it, so now you have to be your own hero to be that hero for yourself and another that needs it so they don't have to go through what you went through.

Start learning to mirror yourself, then become more nuanced by learning to mirror your own heart, then you will overtime build those necessary intuitions to mirror others better so that you have more at ease social adaptations. 

Best

[Chimera]

3 hours ago, Origins said:

@Chimera Your heart was not held when it was most needed, so you must learn to hold your own heart so that you can learn to hold a lovers heart when they most need it as well. If you can conquer this, you'll never have those kinds of narratives holding you back in love and relationships (including with yourself). You needed a hero in certain periods that wasn't there and that's so tough I get it, so now you have to be your own hero to be that hero for yourself and another that needs it so they don't have to go through what you went through.

Start learning to mirror yourself, then become more nuanced by learning to mirror your own heart, then you will overtime build those necessary intuitions to mirror others better so that you have more at ease social adaptations. 

Best

Thank you, I needed to read that right now. 

I ended at the start of the year a long term relationship when I realized I was settling for less. That person was a sweetheart... but very far from perfect, and I am worth so much more! 

And now I am discovering that I might deserve better than a whole bunch of my friends. I'm a woman and my social circle consists right now almost exclusively of mens. They are immature, and too often they have been dirty and sexual with me, even recently (like dude.... I won't describe you how my genitals looks to you, stop saying you're trying to help me). I thought I was ok with that since I am comfortable with my body and am myself a sexual person, but I now see it is a lack of respect from them. Each time I tried to get closer to one of them as a friend, they make moves or want to sleep with me, and trow me away when I just want to be friends.

I assume everyone around me is well intentioned, but they are not. 

[Shin]

[Chimera]

@Shin @neutralempty Hahaha! Thanks!!!